Mordecai: Dude, I got them. (walks to Rigby) Tickets to a free screening of "Love Bot 2".
Rigby: Aw, sweet! (jumps off couch) The first one was so lame. (moves arms like a robot) I AM A ROBOT, I CAN NOT LOVE. (laughs) Come on, call Margaret and Eileen, we can all go make fun of it.
Mordecai: Uh..actually, I only got two tickets. I'm gonna ask Margaret to go.
Rigby: Aw, what? But we do everything together.
Mordecai: Exactly, Margaret and I will never be more than just friends with you guys tagging along. (turns around and smiles) It's time to take this to the next level.
Rigby: Alright, man. (jumps on couch) Do your thing. (grabs video game controller)
(Scene takes place in front of Coffee Shop. Mordecai stands in front of the window)
Mordecai: (takes a deep breath) Okay, you gotta do it. You just gotta do it. (walks to window and points to reflection) You got this. (takes another deep breath and peeks into window) (camera shows Margaret standing in front of an unknown character on his knee,and Mordecai runs to open the door, and runs inside)
Margaret: (gasps) Yes, dude, yes! (hugs the gentleman and looks into his eyes making Mordecai very much in shock of horror. Scene is taking place in Mordecai and Rigby's room and music is playing in the background. Mordecai's legs are on his bed and the rest of his body is on the floor)
Rigby: (knocks on door) Dude? (knocks again) Mordecai? Mordecai?
Mordecai: (groans in pain)
(Scene shows Rigby outside the door)
Rigby: I know it must hurt, man, but you've been listening to that song on repeat for, like, five days now. (knocks again) Hello? (door opens revealing the depressed Mordecai as he walks out) Hey, buddy. (Mordecai completely ignores him) So, I was thinking-- (Mordecai walks to bathroom and closes the door) Come on, man. (Toilet flushes. Mordecai walks out, but Rigby blocks his path) Dude, come on.
Mordecai: (sighs) What?
Rigby: I'm sick of seeing you like this, man. All sad and junk. You smell like something died.
Mordecai: Something did die. (grabs his chest) Inside of me. (lets go of chest) My heart.
Rigby: (turns around) Forget that, you don't need a heart.
Mordecai: (turns around and is a little frustrated) You don't get it, man. (points by the thought of Margaret of his saying) The love of my life is getting married to some other dude. Do you know how that feels?
Rigby: She's engaged. So what? It's not like you guys are even dating.
(Mordecai gets angry)
Rigby: I'm sorry, okay? But listen, I have the perfect solution to your problem.
(scene takes place in the computer room, showing Rigby typing on the keyboard)
Mordecai: (reads screen) "Couple Corral? Where findin' pardners is a fine howdy-do?" Dude, I'm not gonna start internet dating. I just wanna be alone right now. (walks away) Besides, that site is for, like, cowboys or something.
Rigby: Well, I guess you're a cowboy, then, 'cause I signed you up!
Mordecai: (turns around and raises his arms in the air) What?!
Rigby: Nah, it's cool, man, it's legit. (types on keyboard) Look, check out your profile.
Mordecai: (reads screen) "Mordecool? Likes video games, goofin' off and grilled cheese?" (raises hand) Dude, you make me sound like a dork! (puts hand down)
Rigby: Hey, all that stuff's true, man. Don't put that on me.
Mordecai: (groans) Whatever, man. (walks over to and looks at clock on wall) I'm not having anything to do with this.
Rigby: Come on! (looks at computer screen) Look, ten girls already responded.
Computer: (gun shot) Yee-haw!
Mordecai: Nah, I'll get out of my room and take a shower, but dates with random strangers?
Rigby: (gets out of computer chair) Come on, man, it might make you feel better. Look, if you can't do it for yourself, then do for me, man. (folds arms) You're bummin' me out.
Computer: (gun shot) Yee-haw!
(scene takes place at a restaurant)
Blonde Woman: Okay, so I just have to say, I usually don't do this sort of thing.
Mordecai: Oh, yeah?
Canary Girl: Yeah. I never eat out like this. You know what they say about fancy restaurants.
Mordecai: (shakes head) Ummm...yeah.
Black Hair Woman: Oh? So you agree that women are misrepresentative forms of popular media?
Mordecai: I don't know. I guess. (drinks water)
Flamingo Woman: Well, which is it? You think this is going well or do you hate me?
Smart Woman: Yeah, we both split it. (picks up phone and types) I got the salad...Ate some of your fries...
Mordecai: (throws head on plate)
CJ: Are you...Mordecai?
Mordecai: Yeah...Cloudy Jay?
CJ: (laughs) That's just my screen name. You can just call me CJ. Sorry I'm late. I got caught up at work.
Mordecai: Oh, yeah?
CJ: I wish I could just quit and watch TV all day or something, you know?
CJ: Uhhh...so what's it like working at the park?
Mordecai: It's fine.
CJ: Alright, what's the deal? I can tell you're not into this.
Mordecai: What? No!
CJ: Dude, just be real with me.
Mordecai: You're right. My friend talked me into coming here. I've been depressed and just needed to get out of the house. Sorry, I'm sure you're a cool girl and all, but I'm not interested in dating anyone right now.
CJ: It's cool.
Mordecai: (surprised) Really?
CJ: Yeah. We can just try being friends. Maybe I can cheer you up.
CJ: (giggles and stands up) Come on, let's get out of here.
(scene takes place at an arcade and music starts)
Mordecai: You're doing it! You're gonna beat the high score!
Game: (boop boop beedleebeep)
Mordecai: Wow. I've never seen anybody beat this game before.
CJ: (shrugs) Yeah...I'm kinda an old pro at this.
Game: (CJ<3) (CJ<3) (CJ<3) (DUM) (TRD)
Mordecai: (hits hockey puck)
CJ: (hits hockey puck) Ha!
Mordecai: (hits hockey puck) Huh!
(He hits the puck to CJ's side of air hockey table)
Mordecai: Whooooooa! Tied game, tied game!
(She then hits the puck to Mordecai's side of air hockey table)
Mordecai: (points at CJ) Cheap shot, cheap shot! (next scene with a grilled cheese in his hands) No, no, I don't care what you say. The original "Zombie Destiny" movie is way better than the remake.
CJ: (swallows) Quit talking with your mouth full!, Mordecool.
Mordecai: (laughs) Wait, what do you mean? My mouth's open? I have no idea, is it still open? (shows CJ inside of his mouth)
CJ: (playfully shoves Mordecai and looks away) Aw, gross. How old are you?
(The both of them laugh)
(A montage then appears showing Mordecai and CJ hanging out doing a lot of things like looking at clouds laying down laughing of what they look like, CJ riding Mordecai on a grocery cart while being chased by one security guard taking a break now, cart racing, skating making Mordecai almost falling, cheering at a concert, looking at art nodding then looking at each other having the same thought of view laughing again, playing laser tag seeing CJ hiding from Mordecai then jumps out and laser tags him, making the end of the montage)
Mordecai: Yeah, so his head just exploded...just—blam!
CJ: (laughs) You guys have like the worst luck or something.
Mordecai: Yeah. Oh, I almost forgot. (reaches into his pockets) I have these tickets to see "Love Bot 2", and I need someone to---
CJ: Yes, I'd love to go to the movies with you.
Mordecai: Yeah. (chuckles) Yeah, great. I didn't want them to go to waste, so I don't know how good it'll be, but---
CJ: Are you kidding me? (as a robot) Hold me so I can learn to love. Hold me.
(Both of them laugh)
CJ: Classic! I can't wait.
Mordecai: So...tomorrow night?
CJ: (starts to walk away) Cool. See you then.
Mordecai: Yeah. See ya later, CJ. (walks away then notices Margaret and the male character from earlier in Margaret's car making Mordecai gasp then starts to run away but making him stop when Margaret noticed him)
Margaret: Mordecai! Hey!
Mordecai: (stops) Uhhh...hey, Margaret.
Margaret: Where have you been? It feels like I haven't seen you in forever.
Mordecai: Yeah, I know. I've been busy.
Margaret: Oh. Well, you better not be getting your coffee from someplace else.
Mordecai: (fake laughs) No way. You guys would go out of business without me.
(Both of them laugh but Mordecai has a lot less enthusiasm, making it sound fake again)
Margaret: Oh. I should introduce you to my---
Mordecai: No! Sorry, I just...I'm kinda in a hurry.
Margaret: Oh. Well, okay.
Mordecai: Catch you later. (runs, but looks down when passing by male character)
(scene changes place inside of the house and the annoying song from earlier is playing)
Rigby: Dude, come on! You were doing so well! (knocks on door) Mordecai!
Benson: (groans) Is he still crying about the 'coffee girl'? (shoves Rigby) If I have to listen to this song one more time... (bangs on door) Mordecai! This is your boss! Open up!
Mordecai: (opens the bedroom door) I'm talking a mental health day. (starts to close the door but Benson held onto it)
Benson: You don't have the right to be sad. You never even had the guts to tell Margaret how you feel. Listen. If you leave things the way they are now, you'll regret it for the rest of your life. Telling her might not change anything, but at least you'll have closure.
Skips: You should just tell Margaret how you feel.
Mordecai: You're right. Thanks, Skips.
Benson: What? Ugh! Whatever! Just turn off that music.
(scene changes to Mordecai and Rigby walking down the sidewalk)
Rigby: Alright, so you ready?
Mordecai: (sighs) I guess.
Rigby: Don't worry, man. I'll be there ready to call an ambulance if you pass out or start freaking out or somethin'.
Mordecai: Thanks, man.
(Scene changes to CJ and her friends that come out of a store)
CJ: Yeah, and then he asked me to the movies. It was kind of awkward, but cute. You know. (She and her friends laugh) Oh, my gosh! There he is! (she points to Mordecai and Rigby who are walking in) That's him!
CJ's friend's: Ooh! (laugh)
CJ: I'm gonna go say "hi" real quick.
(Mordecai and Rigby now enter to the Coffee Shop)
Margaret: Hey, guys, good timing.
Mordecai: Margaret, listen, there's something I've been meaning to tell you for a long time.
Margaret: Sure, but can it wait a sec? (Takes Mordecai's hand) There's someone I want you guys to meet. Guys, this is my cousin, John.
Mordecai and Rigby: Cousin?
Margaret: Yeah, he finally got a new leg today. Check it out. (John gets up and we see his new wooden leg)
John: Not bad, right? No more kneeing on one knee for me anymore.
Margaret: Isn't it great?
John: Margaret screamed so loud when I told her. She was all like "Yes, dude, yes!"
Margaret: (blushes) Aw, geez. Did I really say that?
Mordecai: (shakes John's hand in appreciation) That's great, man, that's really great.
Rigby: Did you have something to say, Mordecai?
Mordecai: Ohh. (To Margaret) Do you want to see "Love Bot 2" with me? I got a pair of tickets.
Margaret: Tonight? Yeah, sure, I'd love too.
Mordecai: Great. So it's a date then.
Rigby: Hey, what's up, CJ?
(Mordecai spots CJ behind him, she drops her bag, looking depressed)
CJ: Mordecai, what's going on?
CJ: Aren't you taking me to that movie?
Mordecai: Wha-? (shutters) Shoot.
Margaret: Mordecai, what's she talking about?
Mordecai: Um, wait.
Rigby: Oh, no.
Mordecai: Wait, we can work this out.
CJ: What do you mean, "work this out"?
Margaret: Wait, Mordecai, are you dating this girl?
Mordecai: What? No. We're just friends. Just friends.
CJ: Just friends? How can you say that?
Mordecai: Wha-? But it's true!
CJ: (Face turns into a dark cloud, and lighting starts to strike) I can't believe--. Agh! So typical! I thought I met a nice guy, but I shouldn't have known.
Mordecai: Wait, CJ.
CJ: Are you just playing some sort of game? (Starts to turn into a storm cloud) Is this a game to you?
Mordecai: What? No!
CJ: How many other girls did you invite to this movie?!
Mordecai: I only had two tickets! (CJ now makes it rain down in the Coffee Shop and creates a strong wind, which destroys some of the shop) CJ, calm down! I thought we had an understanding!
CJ: An understanding?! Ugh! (makes the wind blow stronger and creates a tornado)
Rigby: Dude, what are you doing? You're making it worse! Say something genuine!
Mordecai: (A table now blows away and Mordecai grabs onto it) Okay, I messed up! I forgot I asked you to the same movie, but I didn't mean it like that. I told you when we met I wasn't interested in dating.
CJ: But I thought you were starting to like me!
Mordecai: I do like you! You're a really awesome friend! (CJ now blows the storm even more stronger which makes Mordecai go farther away from her, but he grabs onto the wall) Look, I know it hurts to have feelings for someone who doesn't feel the same, I've been there! Maybe I can't be the one to cheer you up, but for what it's worth, I'm sorry! (CJ now starts to calm down, and returns to normal)
CJ: Okay, I get it. But you should've at least told me there was someone else.
Mordecai: You're right. I should've been honest. Can't we still be friends?
CJ: No. I just...don't think I can be friends with you right now. Goodbye, Mordecai. (leaves)
(Margaret now comes out coughing)
Mordecai: Margaret, are you okay?
Margaret: So I guess your a big heartbreaker now, huh?
Mordecai: No, it's just... It's just a big misunderstanding.
Margaret: No, it's good. It's good that your dating.
Mordecai: Look, we weren't really dating. Wait, are you jealous?
Margaret: What? (looks around feeling nervous)
Mordecai: You are, aren't you?
Margaret: Um I-- I don't-- (looks around again, hesitating) I don't know what you're talking about.
Mordecai: It's okay if you're a little jealous. But wait, aren't we still going to the movies? (Sighs) (To Rigby) Do you wanna go to the movies?
Rigby: (walking away and raises arm) Nah, I'm over it.
Mordecai: Aw, what?! Then who am I gonna go with?
(Next scene where Love Bot 2 is playing in the theatre)
Robot in movie: Love is highly illogical. Love me. Love me.
(We see Mordecai and Margaret's cousin)
(John laughs of amusement while Mordecai sighs of unsatisfaction)
(End of "Yes Dude Yes")