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Disney's The Sword in the Stone - iTunes Movie Poster

[incomplete & unfixed]


  • A legend is sung
  • Of when England was young
  • And knights
  • were brave and bold
  • The good king had died
  • And no one could decide
  • Who was rightful heir
  • to the throne
  • It seemed that the land
  • Would be torn by war
  • Or saved by a miracle alone
  • And that miracle appeared
  • In London town
  • The sword
  • In the stone
  • And below the hilt in letters of gold… were written these words:
  • "Whoso pulleth out this sword of this stone and anvil… is rightwise king born of England."
  • Though many tried for the sword with all their strength… none could move the sword nor stir it.
  • So the miracle had not worked.
  • And England was still without a king.
  • And in time, the marvellous sword was forgotten.
  • This was a dark age… without law and without order.
  • Men lived in fear of one another… for the strong preyed upon the weak.
  • A dark age indeed!
  • Age of inconvenience.
  • No plumbing… no electricity… no nothing!
  • Oh, hang it all!
  • Hang it all!
  • Oh, now what?
  • Now what?
  • Leave, leave off!
  • Leave off!
  • Oh, you, you, you fiendish chain you!
  • Everything complicated.
  • One big medieval mess.
  • Now, uh, let me see.
  • He should be here in, I’d say half an hour.
  • Who? Who? I’d like to know who.
  • I told you, Archimedes.
  • I am not sure.
  • All I know is that someone will be coming. Someone very important.
  • Oh, pinfeathers!
  • Fate will direct him to me so that I, in turn… may guide him to his rightful place in the world.
  • Huh! And-And you say he will arrive in half an hour?
  • Ha! Well, we’ll just see.
  • And you will, Archimedes.
  • You will.
  • Ow!
  • He’ll be, uh, a boy.
  • Small boy.
  • Eleven, twelve years old.
  • And a scrawny little fellow.
  • Oh, no, no, no.
  • That can’t be the one.
  • Surely not. Why, that big lad must be close onto 20.
  • Ah. There he is.
  • The scrawny little fellow about 12.
  • He’s a regular little grasshopper.
  • Look at him go.
  • And where… where would you guess he is at this very moment?
  • I am not guessing, Archimedes!
  • I know where he is!
  • Less than a mile from here just beyond the forest.
  • And right on schedule, if-if all goes well.
  • - Quiet, Wart.
  • - I’m tryin’ to be.
  • And nobody asked you to come along in the first place.
  • - I’m not even movin’.
  • - Shut up.
  • Aha! Here we go.
  • Oh, what a set-up.
  • Right smack through the old gizzard.
  • Whoa. What? Oh!
  • Why, you clumsy,
  • little fool!
  • Oh, Kay, please, I’m sorry.
  • I couldn’t help it. Please.
  • If I ever…
  • If I ever get my hands on, on you, I’ll, I’ll ring… your scrawny little neck, so help me, I will.
  • I’ll get the arrow, Kay.
  • I’m sure I can find it.
  • Don’t tell me you’re going in there.
  • Why, it’s swarming with wolves.
  • I’m not afraid.
  • Well, go ahead.
  • It’s your skin, not mine.
  • Go on, go on.
  • There it is.
  • Oh, there it is.
  • Whoa! What… Oh!
  • Well.
  • So, you, you did drop in for tea after all.
  • Oh, you are a bit late, you know.
  • - Oh, I, I am?
  • - Yes.
  • Now, my name is Merlin.
  • Come, come, who are you, my lad?
  • Oh, my name’s Arthur, but everyone calls me Wart.
  • Oh.
  • Oh, what a perfect stuffed owl.
  • Stuff…
  • I, I, I beg your pardon!
  • He’s alive and he talks.
  • And certainly a great deal
  • better than you do.
  • Oh, come, Archimedes.
  • Come, come now.
  • I, I want you
  • to meet the Wart.
  • Now, you must forgive him.
  • He’s only a boy.
  • Boy? Boy?
  • Well, I see no boy.
  • - Oh, I’m sorry that l…
  • - That’s all right.
  • He’s much too sensitive.
  • Sensitive? Huh?
  • Who? What? What?
  • - Oh, well.
  • - How did you know that I was…
  • Oh, th-that you would
  • be dropping in?
  • Well, I happen to be
  • a wizard. A soothsayer.
  • A prognosticator. I have
  • the power to see into the future.
  • Centuries into the future!
  • I, I’ve even been there, lad.
  • And I’ve seen all these things.
  • They’re, they’re only plans and
  • small models, of course, you know.
  • Now, this for instance
  • is a steam locomotive.
  • There she goes.
  • Pretty good, eh?
  • Now, that won’t be invented
  • for hundreds of years!
  • Oh. You mean you can see
  • everything before it happens?
  • Yes, everything.
  • Uh-uh, uh-uh.
  • Everything, Merlin?
  • Uh… No, no,
  • not everything.
  • I, uh, I admit I didn’t know
  • whom to expect for tea.
  • But as you can see…
  • I figured the exact place.
  • You’re very clever, sir.
  • Yes. Well, never mind
  • the, the, the sir.
  • Just, uh, plain Merlin will do.
  • Now, would, would you
  • care for sugar?
  • Oh, yes, I would, please.
  • All right. Sugar. Sugar?
  • No, no, manners, manners, manners!
  • Guests first, you know that!
  • All right.
  • Say when, lad.
  • When!
  • - Have you had any schooling?
  • - Oh, yes!
  • I’m training to be a squire.
  • I’m learning the rules of combat
  • and swordsmanship and…
  • and jousting
  • and horsemanship.
  • Oh, yes, yes, very good.
  • That’s, that’s…
  • No, no, no, l…
  • I mean a, a, a real education.
  • Mathematics. History.
  • Biology. Natural science.
  • English. Latin. French.
  • No. When! When!
  • Blast it all! When!
  • Impudent piece of crockery.
  • Boy, now, you can’t…
  • You can’t grow up without
  • a decent education, you know.
  • Oh, I suppose not, sir…
  • Merlin.
  • So, I am going to be
  • your tutor.
  • But I’ve got to get back to the castle.
  • They’ll want me in the kitchen.
  • Oh, well.
  • Then very well.
  • We’ll pack and
  • be on our way.
  • You… You watch now.
  • You’ll like this.
  • Higitus figitus
  • zumba ka zing.
  • I want your attention,
  • everything.
  • We’re packing to leave.
  • Come on. Let’s go.
  • No, no, not you. Books are
  • always first, you know.
  • Hockety pockety wockety whack
  • Abra abra dabra nack
  • Shrink in size very small
  • We’ve got to save enough room for all
  • Higitus figitus migitus mum
  • Prestidigitonium
  • Alika fez, balika zez
  • Malaca mez meripedes
  • Hockety pockety wockety…
  • Whoa!
  • Now, stop, stop, stop, stop!
  • See here, sugar bowl.
  • You’re getting rough. That poor
  • old tea set is cracked enough.
  • Now. Now, all right.
  • Let’s start again.
  • Ah, let’s start… Eh…
  • Oh. Where was I, boy?
  • - Uh, hock-hockety pockety?
  • - Oh, yes, yes, that’s right.
  • Hockety pockety wockety wack
  • Odds and ends and bric-a-brac
  • Be with you in just a minute, son.
  • Packing’s almost done.
  • You, you, you
  • bungling blockhead!
  • Hey, easy there.
  • No, no, go ahead.
  • Dum doodly doodly doodly dum
  • This is the best part now.
  • Higitus figitus migitus mum
  • Prestidigitonium
  • Higitus figitus migitus mum
  • Prestidigitoni…
  • - Ha, ha!
  • - What a way to pack.
  • Well… Well, now,
  • just a minute, boy.
  • How else would you get all this stuff
  • into one suitcase, I’d like to know?
  • - Oh, but I think it’s wonderful!
  • - Oh.
  • Yes, it is rather.
  • Now, well…
  • don’t, don’t you get any foolish ideas
  • that magic will solve all your problems.
  • - Because it won’t!
  • - But, sir, I don’t have any problems.
  • Oh, bah, everybody’s got problems.
  • The world is full of problems.
  • Oh, blast it all!
  • There, now. You see what I mean?
  • See, that’s the trouble
  • with the world today.
  • Everybody butting their heads against a
  • brick wall. All muscle and no mentality.
  • Do you want to be
  • all muscle and no brain?
  • - I don’t have any muscle.
  • - You don’t? Well,
  • how do you move about?
  • Oh, I suppose I,
  • I do have a little.
  • Aha. There, you see. Well, that’s
  • enough. Now, develop your brain.
  • Knowledge, wisdom. There’s
  • the real power. Higher learning.
  • That’s the thing.
  • So, first thing tomorrow morning,
  • we’ll start a full schedule.
  • Eight hours a day. We’ll have six hours
  • for schoolroom and two for study period.
  • But l… I don’t have the time.
  • I have page duties.
  • Uh, page duties? Ha!
  • Ah, well, we’ll change all that.
  • There’s got to be a shake-up.
  • Well, yes, sir.
  • I, I suppose so.
  • How do you ever expect
  • to amount to anything without
  • an education, I’d like to know?
  • Even in these bungling,
  • backward, medieval times…
  • you have got to know
  • where you’re going, don’t you?
  • Ye… Yes, sir.
  • Yes, of course. So, you must
  • plan for the future, boy.
  • You’ve got to find a direction.
  • And you’ve…
  • Now, by the by, what direction
  • is this castle of yours?
  • I think it’s north.
  • The other way.
  • Oh, oh.
  • All right, then we better get
  • a move on. Come on, come on, lad.
  • Pick up the pace. Pick it up.
  • Pick it up.
  • Pick it up.
  • Yo-ho, the devil take it!
  • No, the devil take it.
  • Anyone’s got better sense
  • than to go barging off in
  • that infernal forest alone.
  • You had no business
  • letting him go.
  • Look, Dad, I’m not
  • the Wart’s keeper.
  • Well, blast it all, I am.
  • After all, I, I took him in,
  • adopted the lad, you might say.
  • Being his foster father,
  • well, I’m responsible.
  • Whoop.
  • Tiger! Talbot! Off with you.
  • Now, look here, Wart.
  • What’s the big idea of
  • gallivanting off in the woods…
  • and worrying the living
  • daylights out of everybody?
  • - I’m sorry, sir.
  • - Well, sorry’s not enough.
  • That’s four demerits.
  • Four hours extra kitchen duty.
  • Eh, report to the cook!
  • - But, sir, I’d like you to meet…
  • - Go on, hop it, boy, hop, hop, hop it!
  • Well, yes, you’ve got to keep a tight
  • schedule to run a big place like this.
  • Need strict rules.
  • Especially for small boys.
  • And I most certainly agree.
  • Who are you and…
  • Oh. I mean, uh, you?
  • Uh, my name is Merlin.
  • Uh, this is Archimedes.
  • A highly educated owl.
  • Educated owl?
  • Say, that’s a good one.
  • Say. Hey, I know.
  • You’ve got him under a spell,
  • Marvin. You’re a magician.
  • The name is Merlin.
  • And I happen to be the world’s
  • most powerful wizard.
  • Come off it, man.
  • Gadzooks!
  • All right.
  • I shall demonstrate.
  • Higitus figitus migitus moe…
  • wind and snow
  • swirl and blow!
  • What the devil
  • are you up to?
  • And that is what I call
  • a "wizard blizzard."
  • Hey, Kay, would
  • you look at this?
  • An indoor blizzard.
  • And in the month of July.
  • So what?
  • All right, Marvin. Turn her off.
  • I’m convinced.
  • Alakazam!
  • I, uh… I hope you don’t go in
  • for any of that black magic.
  • Oh, no, no, no, no.
  • Never touch the stuff. No.
  • My magic is used mainly
  • for educational purposes.
  • In fact, that is why
  • I am here.
  • I have come
  • to educate the Wart.
  • Oh, no, you don’t.
  • I’m running this place. And if you think
  • you’re gonna fiddle with my schedule…
  • you’d better pack up your bag
  • of tricks and be gone.
  • Wha… Well, by Jove.
  • Hey, he’s gone.
  • Hm-mmm. Good riddance.
  • I’m gone, but then,
  • I’m not gone.
  • So, if I do leave…
  • you could never be sure
  • that I am gone, can you?
  • Well, uh…
  • Well, I must say, you…
  • you got me there, Marvin.
  • Yes. Well, you win. You’re
  • welcome to stay if you like.
  • Thank you.
  • You’re very kind.
  • Very generous, I must say.
  • Well, uh, all we can offer
  • is room and board.
  • Hard times,
  • you know, Marvin.
  • We’ll put you up
  • in the northwest tower.
  • That’s the guest room.
  • It’s a bit draughty in the winter…
  • but in this blazing hot weather,
  • it’s the best room in the house.
  • Oh, yes.
  • Very lovely indeed.
  • So just make yourself
  • at home, Marvin.
  • Marvin, Marvin,
  • Marvin, Marvin.
  • Best room in the house!
  • Guest room!
  • Unwelcome-guest room!
  • But if he thinks that he can get rid of
  • me, I’ve got news for that old walrus.
  • - I’m sticking it out.
  • - And I say we go back to the woods.
  • No, not on your life.
  • That boy’s got to have an education.
  • He has a future.
  • Well, you may be right.
  • A skinny kid like that would make
  • a cracking good chimney sweep.
  • Something tells me that
  • you’re all wet, Archimedes.
  • - Who goes there?
  • - Pelinore!
  • It’s Pelinore, dash it all!
  • I’ve got big news from London.
  • Big news!
  • Come on, man.
  • Drop the bridge.
  • Oh, big news, eh?
  • They can’t wait for
  • the London Times. First edition
  • won’t be out for at least, uh…
  • Archimedes, would you mind
  • sailing down there and, and…
  • Not interested!
  • Oh, come, come, come, come now.
  • You’re as wet as you can get.
  • No! No, no, no!
  • Archimedes! I’ll turn you
  • into a human.
  • - Hmph! You wouldn’t dare!
  • - I will. So help me, I will.
  • Well, all right, all right.
  • All right!
  • All right.
  • It works every time.
  • Just like magic.
  • Pelinore!
  • Pelinore.
  • Greetings, old boy. And what’s
  • all the noise about London, hmm?
  • Big news. Really big news.
  • Sit down, man,
  • and let’s hear all about it.
  • They’re having a big tournament
  • New Year’s Day.
  • Oh, that’s not news,
  • dash it all. They always do.
  • Yeah, but, Ector… Ector, here’s
  • where all the excitement comes in.
  • To the winner of this tournament
  • goes the crown.
  • You mean… You mean
  • he’ll be king of all England?
  • King of all England.
  • - Kay, lad, did you hear that?
  • - Pretty fair prize, I’d say.
  • Yes, and you can win it, boy,
  • if you knuckle down to your training.
  • And we’ll have you knighted by Christmas
  • and off to London. What do you say?
  • Sure. Why not? Why not?
  • Wart, lad, how’d you
  • like to go to London?
  • - Oh, Sir Ector, you mean it?
  • - If you stick to your duties,
  • you can be Kay’s squire.
  • Oh, I will, sir.
  • I will.
  • I don’t want the Wart
  • for my squire.
  • Here’s to London!
  • And here’s to Kay.
  • And here’s to the banner
  • of the Castle of the Forest Suavage.
  • - Cheers!
  • - Cheers, cheers.
  • - Cheers.
  • Charge!
  • Weight forward!
  • Lean into him!
  • Steady, boy. Steady!
  • Steady with the lance!
  • Grip her tight!
  • Hit him clean!
  • No, no, no!
  • Heads up!
  • Ar-Ar-Archimedes. Archimedes,
  • wh-where, where, where are we?
  • In a tumble-down old tower…
  • in the most miserable old castle
  • in all Christendom, that’s where.
  • C-Castle? Castle?
  • Don’t you even
  • remember the boy?
  • Uh, the boy?
  • Can’t you remember
  • one blasted thing?
  • - Oh, now, just a moment. L…
  • - Tight grip on the lance.
  • - Oh.
  • - Loosen the saddle, knees in tight.
  • Weight forward
  • and stay on target.
  • You keep losing your grip.
  • It’s not a mere matter
  • of muscle, sir.
  • Jousting is, uh, uh,
  • a fine skill.
  • It… It’s a highly
  • developed science.
  • Science, indeed.
  • One dummy trying to knock off
  • another dummy with a bit of a stick.
  • And the Wart’s just as hot
  • for it as the rest of them.
  • He certainly is. That boy’s
  • got real spark. Lots of spirit.
  • Throws himself heart and soul
  • into everything he does.
  • That’s really worth something if it can
  • only be turned in the right direction.
  • Ha-ha.
  • Fat chance of that.
  • Oh, I plan to cheat,
  • of course.
  • Use magic. Every last trick
  • in the trade if I have to.
  • I’d give anything to go riding
  • about on a great white charger…
  • slaying dragons and griffins
  • and man-eating giants.
  • Well, won’t you?
  • Oh. No. You see.
  • I’m an orphan, and a knight
  • must be of proper birth.
  • I only hope I’m worthy
  • to be Kay’s squire.
  • That’s a big job too,
  • you know.
  • Oh, indeed, yes, yes.
  • I would say almost impossible. Yes.
  • Well, now then. When I said
  • that I could swim like a fish…
  • I really meant as a fish.
  • You mean you can turn
  • yourself into a fish?
  • After all, I happen
  • to be a wizard.
  • - Could you turn me into a fish?
  • - Well, do you have any imagination?
  • Can you imagine yourself
  • as a fish?
  • Oh, that’s easy.
  • I’ve done that lots of times.
  • Oh. Well, good. Then I think
  • that my magic can do the rest.
  • Archimedes, what, what
  • is that fish formula?
  • - Who? Who? What? What? What?
  • - You know, that, that,
  • that Latin business.
  • Hmm? Fish? Latin?
  • Oh, uh.
  • Aquarius aquaticus aqualitus.
  • And-And now if you don’t mind…
  • I say good day to the both
  • of you, if you please.
  • When he stays out all night…
  • he’s always grumpy
  • the next morning.
  • - Then he must stay out every night.
  • - Yes.
  • Oh. Oh, yes. Oh, I say,
  • that’s very good, boy. Very.
  • Who? What? What?
  • All right, boy. All set.
  • Here we go.
  • Aquarius aquaticus
  • aqualitus quum.
  • Aqua digi tarium.
  • Merlin, am I a fish?
  • Am I a fish?
  • Yes. Yes, yes, yes, yes,
  • you are a fish…
  • but if you don’t stop that
  • flippity-flopping around…
  • and get in the water,
  • you won’t last long.
  • Now, now, stay right here in the tules
  • and I’ll… I’ll be with you in a minute.
  • Oh.
  • So you thought you could take
  • right off like a shot, did you?
  • Well, I am a fish,
  • aren’t I?
  • You merely look
  • like a fish.
  • That doesn’t mean that you can swim like
  • one. You, you don’t have the instinct.
  • So, you’ll have to use your,
  • your brain for a change.
  • You are living between
  • two planes now.
  • Somewhere between the ceiling
  • and the floor.
  • Now, there, there’s lots
  • of ups and downs…
  • like-like, uh,
  • like a helicopter.
  • - Helicopter?
  • - Yes…
  • Oh. No, never mind.
  • Every flick of a fin
  • creates movement.
  • So, first we’ll start
  • with a caudal fin.
  • No, no, boy.
  • Your tail. Tail.
  • Now, now, that gives you
  • the forward thrust now.
  • Come on. Let’s get a rhythm.
  • Right, left.
  • Right, left. One, two.
  • Left and right
  • Like day and night
  • That’s what makes
  • the world go ‘round
  • In and out
  • Thin and stout
  • That’s what makes
  • the world go ‘round
  • For every up
  • there is a down
  • - For every square
  • - There is a round?
  • Yes.
  • For every high
  • - There is a low?
  • - Uh-huh.
  • - And for every to…
  • - There is a…
  • - Fro.
  • - Fro.
  • Yes, fro.
  • To and fro, stop and go
  • That’s what makes
  • the world go ‘round
  • In and out
  • Thin and stout
  • - Merlin! Merlin!
  • - Oh!
  • - I swallowed a bug!
  • - Oh. What’s wrong with that?
  • After all, my boy, you are
  • a fish. L-Instinct, you know.
  • - But you said I had no instinct.
  • - Yes, of…
  • Oh. Oh, I did. Well, th-that’s
  • neither here nor there.
  • But the main thing
  • is you must…
  • Set your sights
  • upon the heights
  • Don’t be a mediocrity
  • - Mediocrity?
  • - That’s right.
  • Don’t just wait
  • and trust to fate
  • And say that’s how
  • it’s meant to be
  • It’s up to you
  • how far you go
  • If you don’t try
  • you’ll never know
  • And so, my lad
  • as I’ve explained
  • Nothing ventured
  • nothing gained
  • Let’s, let’s swim through that
  • tall grass again. It tickles.
  • Oh. Oh,
  • I beg your pardon.
  • Me too.
  • For every to there is a fro
  • For every stop
  • there is a go
  • And that’s what makes
  • the world go ‘round
  • Oh, let go,
  • let go, let go!
  • Oh, you big,
  • bug-eyed bully, you!
  • Who, me?
  • Oh, here, here, here,
  • here, here, now, boy.
  • There’s no sense in going
  • around insulting bullfrogs.
  • A fish has plenty of other
  • problems without that.
  • The water world has its
  • forests and its jungles too.
  • So it has its tigers and
  • its wolves. And that, eh, ah…
  • That’s what makes
  • the world go ‘round
  • You see, my boy
  • it’s nature’s way
  • Upon the weak
  • the strong ones prey
  • In human life
  • it’s also true
  • The strong will try
  • to conquer you
  • And that is what
  • you must expect
  • Unless you use
  • your intellect
  • Brains and brawn
  • Weak and strong
  • - Help, Merlin! Help! Help!
  • - That’s what makes the wor…
  • Jehoshaphat!
  • Oh!
  • - Quick, Merlin, the magic!
  • - No, no.
  • You’re on your own, lad.
  • Now’s your chance to prove my point.
  • Wha-What point?
  • He’s the brawn and you’re the brain.
  • Oh, now, don’t, don’t, don’t panic!
  • You use your head.
  • Outsmart the big brute.
  • Smart move, lad!
  • That’s using the old intellect.
  • - Bravo, boy! Great strategy!
  • - Is the lesson about over?
  • D-D-Did you get the point?
  • Yes, yes, brain over brawn.
  • Okay, lad, I’ll fix the big
  • brute. Higgeldy piggeldy…
  • No, no. Hocus pocus…
  • Now, what in blaze… Eh…
  • Merlin!
  • Now what? Oh, it’s,
  • it’s that, that boy!
  • - Wh-Wh-What in b-blazes!
  • - Help! Help! Help!
  • Ouch!
  • Help!
  • Archimedes!
  • Help!
  • What in thunder is a monster
  • like that doing in the moat?
  • By George, l-l-l… I’ll, I’ll…
  • I’ll turn him into a minnow.
  • - Merlin!
  • - Oh! Oh, there you are, boy.
  • Snick snack snorum!
  • How in the world did you ever
  • get out of that mess?
  • That, that big fish almost swallowed me
  • and, and Archimedes, he, he saved me.
  • Well, by Jo…
  • Oh, what do you know about that?
  • I did nothing of the sort!
  • I intended to eat him.
  • Young perch is my favourite dish.
  • You know that!
  • Oh.
  • - Do you believe that, Wart?
  • - Well, l…
  • Wart. Wart!
  • I’ve gotta go. Thank you,
  • Merlin. It was so much fun.
  • - And, Archimedes, I, l…
  • - Pinfeathers, boy!
  • Wart! Where are you, Wart?
  • Coming!
  • I’m coming.
  • Now, Archimedes.
  • Why would you half-drown
  • yourself for a tidbit of fish?
  • And after such
  • a big breakfast?
  • Pinfeathers and gully fluff!
  • We were doing fine
  • until we got in deep water.
  • Then along comes this huge pike
  • with big jaws and sharp, jagged teeth.
  • Oh, turn him off, Dad.
  • He was a monster!
  • The biggest fish I ever saw.
  • - And, boy, that’s the biggest
  • fish story I ever heard.
  • - But it’s true, sir.
  • That’s three demerits for being late
  • and three more for the fish story.
  • Now, hop into the kitchen!
  • I told you the Wart
  • was loony.
  • Yes, well, he’s either
  • out of his head or, uh…
  • there’s something mighty
  • fishy going on around here.
  • For every high
  • there is a low
  • For every to
  • there is a fro
  • To and fro
  • Stop and go
  • That’s what makes
  • the world go ‘round
  • - Oh, it’s you, Merlin, sir.
  • - Uh, yes, my lad.
  • Now, have you ever
  • considered being a squirrel?
  • Well, no, I don’t suppose.
  • Well, now, there is
  • a tiny creature…
  • with enormous problems.
  • How he has survived
  • throughout the ages…
  • is one of nature’s
  • big mysteries.
  • His life is hazardous.
  • Downright dangerous.
  • Uh, would you
  • like to try it?
  • - Oh, no, I’d better not.
  • - Oh-ho.
  • It’s, uh, too dangerous
  • for you, eh?
  • Oh, no, it’s not that.
  • It’s just that I’ve got six
  • demerits. All this work to do.
  • What a mess!
  • What a medieval muddle.
  • We’ll have to modernize it.
  • Start an assembly-line system.
  • All right now. One and a-two
  • and a-three and a-four!
  • Higitus figitus migitus mum
  • Skitun de bitun de batun de dum
  • - But I’m supposed to do it.
  • - No one will know the difference, son.
  • Who cares as long
  • as the work gets done?
  • Rubbedy scrubbedy
  • Sweepety flow
  • Come on, son.
  • Let’s go, let’s go.
  • Wart. Wart!
  • Wart. Now, take it easy.
  • Take it easy, boy.
  • Wart! Oh, no, boy!
  • No, no!
  • - Wart!
  • - Whoa. Oh!
  • Now, what did I tell you?
  • Always look before you leap.
  • Well, I made it,
  • didn’t I?
  • Yes, yes, you made it.
  • You made it, but you, you can’t
  • always trust to luck, boy.
  • Now, first thing…
  • you start with
  • the short jumps.
  • Gauge the distance carefully.
  • And… Oh!
  • Now, there, you see?
  • Even, even, even then you can miss.
  • So, don’t take gravity too lightly
  • or it’ll catch up with you.
  • - What’s gravity?
  • - Gravity is what causes you to fall.
  • Oh, like a stumble
  • or, or a trip?
  • Yes, it’s like a stumble
  • or a… No, no, no, no, no.
  • It’s the force that pulls you downward.
  • The, the phenomenon that any two
  • material particles or bodies…
  • if free to move, will be
  • accelerated toward each other.
  • - Merlin, how will we get by?
  • - Hmm?
  • Oh. Oh, well, I, I suppose we
  • better go back to a side track.
  • Go on, go on.
  • You got lots of room.
  • Well, l… I, I, I guess
  • she can’t be sidetracked.
  • That’s a girl squirrel, that,
  • and a redhead at that.
  • - She sure acts funny.
  • - Well, she likes you.
  • Why?
  • Yes, well, well, well,
  • that’s nature again.
  • But I’m afraid there’s
  • no time to explain.
  • Here, here, now.
  • You better leave me out of it.
  • Yeah, me too.
  • Merlin! Merlin!
  • You’re on your own, lad. I’m afraid
  • magic can’t solve this problem.
  • Look, I’m, I’m not a boy.
  • I mean…
  • I’m not a squirrel.
  • I’m a boy.
  • A human boy.
  • Not a real sq…
  • Oh, leave me alone!
  • Merlin, what’ll I do?
  • She won’t leave me…
  • Well, I’m, I’m afraid
  • you’re stuck, lad.
  • Well, when a girl squirrel
  • chooses a mate, it’s for life.
  • - But I won’t be a squirrel tomorrow.
  • - But she doesn’t know that.
  • She only knows one simple fact.
  • That you’re a him and she’s a her.
  • - That’s a natural phenomenon.
  • - Phenomenon-menum?
  • Well, it’s the, the, uh…
  • It’s a state of being
  • A frame of mind
  • It’s a most
  • befuddling thing
  • And to every being of every kind
  • it is discombooberating
  • You’re wasting time
  • resisting
  • You’ll find
  • the more you do
  • The more
  • she’ll keep insisting
  • Her him has got to be you
  • Now leave me alone!
  • I mean it!
  • It’s a rough game
  • Anyone knows
  • Go away!
  • There are no rules
  • Anything goes
  • There’s no logical
  • explanation
  • For this discombooberation
  • It’s a most bemuddling
  • Most befuddling thing
  • Oh! Who? Who? What… What…
  • Now, go on. Shoo!
  • Get a tree of your own.
  • Skedaddle!
  • You… You… You… You…
  • Oh, you squirrelly squirrels!
  • She’s gaining on you, Wart.
  • There’s no sensible
  • explanation
  • For this discombooberation
  • It’s a most hodge-podgical
  • Most illogical
  • Most confusiling
  • Most bamboozling
  • Most bemuddling
  • Most be-befu-fuddling
  • Thing
  • Really, now, Miss, uh…
  • Madam. I, uh…
  • You, you, you’ve made a mistake.
  • Now, now, now, please.
  • Please, you…
  • Oh! Madam! Madam!
  • Now, look here.
  • I am not a boy.
  • I, I mean, I’m…
  • I’m not a squirrel. I’m a b…
  • No, that’s not what… No!
  • No. I’m, I’m,
  • I’m a stupid old…
  • No!
  • I’m an old man.
  • An old human.
  • Understand?
  • Oh, hang it all.
  • Now, go away.
  • Shoo, shoo.
  • Impossible. Impossible!
  • Ooh, confound it!
  • Confound it all!
  • Merlin, I’m tired of being a squirrel.
  • It’s nothing but trouble.
  • Oh, you’ve got trouble?
  • Look at my… Look back there!
  • One side, lad.
  • Whoa, what…
  • Help, Merlin!
  • Help!
  • Oh, no!
  • By George!
  • I’ve had enough
  • of this nonsense!
  • Alakazam!
  • There. You see? I’m an ugly,
  • horrible, grouchy old man!
  • - Merlin!
  • - Oh.
  • - So, here we are.
  • - Quick, Merlin, the magic.
  • Snick snack snorum.
  • There. Now you see?
  • I’m not a squirrel. I’m a boy.
  • I tried to tell you.
  • I’m a boy.
  • A human boy.
  • Oh, if you could only understand.
  • Ah, you know, lad…
  • that love business
  • is a powerful thing.
  • Greater than gravity?
  • Well, yes, boy,
  • in its way, I’d, uh…
  • Yes, I’d say it’s
  • the greatest force on Earth.
  • Oh, Ector!
  • Ector! Sir Ector! The kitchen!
  • - Hold it, son! Hold it.
  • - Black magic all over the place!
  • Kay! Hold on, I say!
  • Stop!
  • Oh. Now, what’s
  • all the commotion, hmm?
  • Oh, the kitchen,
  • it’s under an evil spell!
  • - Huh?
  • - It’s bewitched.
  • Oh, I bet it’s
  • that old goat Marvin.
  • Come on, son.
  • L-I knew he’d give us trouble.
  • Gadzooks!
  • Black magic
  • of the worst kind!
  • Come on, Kay!
  • To the attack!
  • Wha… Oh!
  • Hold it!
  • Heaven preserve us!
  • Kay!
  • - Now, what have we here?
  • - Jumpin’ hoptoads!
  • Alakazam!
  • So there you are,
  • you old goat.
  • Well, what’s the idea of flinging
  • your evil spells all over the place?
  • Oh, oh,
  • lend me a hand, boy.
  • Well, what have you got
  • to say for yourself, hmm?
  • You call washing dishes and
  • sweeping floors a work of evil?
  • I’ll decide what’s right
  • and wrong around here.
  • Besides, that’s the Wart’s job.
  • One of his duties.
  • Uh, and look here, boy.
  • If you want to make that trip
  • to London, you’d better toe the mark.
  • You old goat! If I ever catch you
  • in my kitchen again, I’ll…
  • Madam, you won’t.
  • Oh, dear. He’s gone.
  • Well, by Jove.
  • We ought to run the old geezer
  • right out of the castle.
  • Oh, no, no,
  • no, no, Kay. No.
  • He might cast an evil spell
  • on the lot of us.
  • Turn us all to stone.
  • No. There’s no telling
  • what the old devil might do.
  • He’s not an old devil!
  • He… He’s good!
  • And, and his magic
  • is good too.
  • Lf, if you’d just
  • leave him alone!
  • Now, look here, Wart.
  • That’s three more demerits.
  • - Box his ears, Dad.
  • - Just because you can’t
  • understand something…
  • - it, it doesn’t mean it’s wrong.
  • - Ten more demerits!
  • You make all the rules and, and
  • nobody else can say anything.
  • You’ve said aplenty, boy! All that
  • popping off just cooked your goose.
  • Kay, from now on,
  • young Hobbs is your squire.
  • Did you hear that, Wart?
  • Hobbs is going to be Kay’s squire.
  • - Ye… Ye… Yes, sir.
  • - Now that’ll teach you to pop
  • off, you little pipsqueak.
  • Oh, I’m sorry, lad.
  • I’m sorry.
  • I spoiled everything.
  • I know that trip to London
  • means a great deal to you.
  • Oh, it’s,
  • it’s not your fault.
  • I shouldn’t have popped off.
  • Now I’m really done for.
  • No, no, you’re in
  • a great spot, boy.
  • You can’t go down now.
  • It can only be up from here.
  • - I’d like to know how.
  • - Use your head.
  • An education, lad.
  • What good will that do?
  • Get it first. Then who knows?
  • Are you willing to try?
  • Well, what have
  • I got to lose?
  • That’s the spirit!
  • We’ll start tomorrow!
  • We’ll show ‘em.
  • Won’t we, boy?
  • We sure will.
  • Now, first of all, lad…
  • we’ve got to get all these
  • medieval ideas out of your head.
  • Clear the way for new ideas.
  • Knowledge of man’s
  • fabulous discoveries…
  • in the centuries ahead.
  • - Now that’ll be
  • a great advantage, boy.
  • - Advantage, indeed!
  • If the boy goes
  • about saying the world is round,
  • they’ll take him for a lunatic.
  • - The world is round?
  • - Yes, yes, that’s right.
  • And it also goes around.
  • - You mean it’ll be round someday?
  • - No, no, no.
  • It’s round now. Man will discover this
  • in centuries to come.
  • And he will also find that
  • the world is merely…
  • a tiny speck
  • in the universe.
  • - Universe?
  • - Oh, you’re only confusing the boy.
  • Before you’re through, he’ll be
  • so mixed up, he’ll, he’ll be
  • wearing his shoes on his head.
  • Man has always learned
  • from the past. After all,
  • you can’t learn history in reverse.
  • It’s, it’s, it’s confusing
  • enough, for heaven sakes.
  • All right! All right.
  • Have it your way, Archimedes.
  • You’re in charge.
  • You’re the headmaster now.
  • So from now on,
  • he’s your pupil.
  • So, from now on, boy…
  • you do as I say.
  • - Yes, sir.
  • - All right.
  • Now to start off, I want you
  • to read these books.
  • - All of them?
  • - That, my boy, is
  • a mountain of knowledge.
  • - But I, but I can’t read.
  • - What, what? What? Then I don’t
  • suppose you know how to write?
  • - No, sir.
  • - What do you know?
  • - Well, l…
  • - Well, never mind. Never mind.
  • We’ll start at the bottom.
  • The ABC’s.
  • First the A,
  • and now the B.
  • Loop and around
  • and there’s the C.
  • Merlin. Look.
  • I can write.
  • Oh. Yes, yes.
  • That’s very good, boy. Very…
  • Henscratch, that’s all.
  • Henscratch. Now, come on.
  • D, E, F,
  • and now the G.
  • You see, it’s as simple as…
  • No, no, no! No, boy!
  • Now, use your head.
  • Use your head, will you? How do you
  • ever expect to learn anything?
  • Archimedes!
  • Have you seen that, uh…
  • flying machine model?
  • I have nothing to do with your
  • futuristic fiddle-faddle, you know that.
  • - What’s that thing up there?
  • - Hmm? Oh, yes, of course.
  • - Here we are.
  • - You mean man will fly
  • in one of those someday?
  • If man were meant to fly,
  • he’d have been born with wings.
  • I am about to prove
  • otherwise, Archimedes…
  • if you care to watch.
  • Here she goes.
  • No, no, no, no, no…
  • Man’ll fly all right.
  • Just like a rock.
  • It would have worked if, if,
  • if, if it weren’t for…
  • this infernal beard!
  • I never, never
  • in my whole…
  • Man will fly someday,
  • I tell you.
  • I have been there.
  • I have seen it.
  • Oh, I do hope so.
  • I’ve always dreamed about flying…
  • that I was a bird and
  • that I could go sailing all over
  • the sky high above everything.
  • Prestidigitonium.
  • It’s my favourite dream.
  • Oh, but then I suppose
  • everybody dreams about flying.
  • I’m a bird! I’m a bird!
  • I’m a bird!
  • Hold it, boy.
  • Not so fast. Not so fast.
  • First, l… I’d better explain
  • the mechanics of a bird’s wing.
  • Now, these large feathers…
  • are called the primaries.
  • - And, uh…
  • - And, uh, since when…
  • do you know all about
  • birds’ wings?
  • I have made an extensive study
  • of birds in flight. And l…
  • And if you don’t mind,
  • I happen to be a bird.
  • All right, Mr Know-It-All,
  • he’s your pupil.
  • - Ouch!
  • - Now, boy…
  • flying is not merely
  • some crude mechanical process.
  • It is a delicate art.
  • Purely aesthetic.
  • Poetry of motion.
  • And the best way to learn it
  • is to do it.
  • Now, since we’re pretty far up,
  • we’ll start with a glide.
  • Spread your wings way out,
  • way out. That’s it. That’s it.
  • Now, fan your tail.
  • Tippity-toe, tippity-toe,
  • and off we go.
  • Now, tuck your feet under,
  • like me. That’s it. That’s the idea!
  • - Whoa! What? Oh!
  • - And don’t fight the air currents.
  • Use them.
  • Well, say, boy!
  • That’s pretty good.
  • Well, boy,
  • you’re a natural!
  • Are you sure this is
  • the first time that you’ve…
  • Wart! Wart!
  • Hawk! Hawk!
  • Look out, boy!
  • Heads up! Wart!
  • Archimedes! Help!
  • Wart! Wart!
  • Whoa! What? Oh!
  • Sounds like someone’s sick.
  • How lovely.
  • Oh, bat gizzards.
  • It’s nothing but…
  • a scrawny little sparrow
  • with a beak full of soot.
  • Oh, l-I’m not really a sparrow.
  • I’m a boy.
  • - A boy?
  • - Merlin changed me with his magic.
  • He’s the world’s
  • most powerful wizard.
  • Merlin. Ho-ho!
  • Merlin, the world’s
  • most powerful bungler.
  • Why, boy, I’ve got more magic
  • in one little finger.
  • Now, don’t tell me you’ve never
  • heard of the marvellous Madam Mim?
  • Well, no, I don’t guess so.
  • Madam Mim? Oh! Good heavens,
  • good heavens, good heavens!
  • Why, boy, I’m the greatest.
  • I’m truly marvellous!
  • With only a touch
  • I have the power
  • Zim zab rim bim
  • To whither a flower
  • I find delight
  • in the gruesome and grim
  • - Oh, that’s terrible.
  • - Thank you, my boy.
  • But that’s nothing,
  • nothing for me.
  • No! ‘Cause I’m the magnificent…
  • marvellous, mad Madam Mim.
  • You know what?
  • I can even change size.
  • I can be huge!
  • Ooh! Fill the whole house.
  • I can be teeny
  • Small as a mouse
  • Black sorcery
  • is my dish of tea
  • Uh, it comes easy to me.
  • ’Cause I’m the magnificent…
  • marvellous, mad Madam Mim.
  • Marvellous, boy!
  • Marvellous, I’m marvellous!
  • Say, lad, did you know that
  • I can make myself uglier yet?
  • Well, that would be some trick.
  • Er, um, ah, I mean, uh…
  • Want to bet? Boo!
  • You see? I win, I win!
  • Aren’t I hideous, boy?
  • Perfectly revolting?
  • - Well, uh, yes, ma’am.
  • - But you ain’t seen nothin’ yet.
  • Watch this.
  • I can be beautiful
  • lovely and fair
  • Silvery voice
  • long purple hair
  • But it’s only skin deep
  • for zim zaberim zim
  • I’m an ugly, old creep!
  • The magnificent, marvellous…
  • mad, mad, mad,
  • mad Madam Mim.
  • Now what do you think, boy?
  • Who’s the greatest?
  • Well, uh, Merlin’s magic
  • is always, um, well, useful…
  • uh, for something good.
  • - And he must see something good in you.
  • - Oh, I suppose so.
  • Yes, and in my book,
  • that’s bad!
  • So, my boy, I’m afraid
  • I’ll have to destroy you.
  • De-Destroy me?
  • Yeah, l-I’ll give you
  • a sporting chance.
  • I’m mad about games,
  • you know.
  • Yeah, well, come on,
  • get going, boy.
  • You gotta keep on your toes
  • in this game.
  • I win, I win!
  • Oh, the game’s over.
  • Why, you little devil, you!
  • I’ll wring your scrawny little neck!
  • Mim! Mim! Wha-Wha-What…
  • Eh, what was you up to?
  • Uh! Me-Me… Oh, Merlin!
  • Well, you’re just in time.
  • - We were playing a little game.
  • - She was gonna destroy me.
  • And just what are you
  • gonna do about it?
  • Want to fight?
  • Want to have a wizard’s duel?
  • - As you wish, madam.
  • - Well, come on. Step outside.
  • After you, madam.
  • What-What-What-What, what’s up, boy?
  • What’s going on?
  • They’re havin’ a wizard’s duel.
  • What’s that mean?
  • Oh, it’s a battle of wits.
  • The players change themselves…
  • to different things and, and attempt to,
  • uh, to destroy one another.
  • De-Des-De-Destroy?
  • Well, just watch, boy, just watch.
  • You’ll get the idea.
  • Now, first of all, if you
  • don’t mind, I’ll make the rules.
  • Rules indeed!
  • Why, she only wants rules
  • so she can break ‘em!
  • I’ll take care of you later,
  • featherbrain.
  • Now, rule one,
  • no mineral or vegetable.
  • Only animal. Rule two,
  • no make-believe things…
  • like, uh, oh,
  • pink dragons and stuff.
  • Now, rule three,
  • no disappearing.
  • - Rule four, no cheating.
  • - All right, all right.
  • Now, pace off ten.
  • One, two, three, four…
  • - Merlin! She disappeared!
  • - Huh? Ah… Duh… Bah… Mim!
  • Now, you made the rules!
  • Ouch!
  • - Change to somethin’ else, Merlin.
  • - Ah… Buh… Y-Yes…
  • yes, yes, yes,
  • give me time to think.
  • - Ah, higgety-piggety.
  • Ah, duh… No, no, no, no, no.
  • - Quick, Merlin, hurry!
  • Ah… Duh… Hoppity-hip-hip.
  • Ha-ha!
  • Got me tail, now!
  • Madam, just a minute.
  • Ah… D-D…
  • This is not the-the-the-the…
  • - Come on! Something bigger!
  • - Something smaller!
  • Mi-Mi-Mim, Mi-Mim,
  • Mi-Mim Mi-Mi…
  • Ooh!
  • Merlin! No disappearing.
  • Whoo!
  • Ouch!
  • Mim? Mim?
  • Are-Are-Are you…
  • Now… Gah… What-What…
  • W-W-What’s going on here?
  • You, you… You big blimp!
  • Squash me, will ya?
  • Ah, ah, ah, ah, Merlin!
  • - Ouch! Ooh!
  • - Bravo!
  • Oh, just you wait!
  • Just you wait! You’re gonna pay!
  • So you want to play rough,
  • do ya?
  • All right, Merlin. I’ll
  • smash you good, you old crab!
  • Jehoshaphat!
  • Here I come, Mim,
  • ready or not.
  • Merlin, you wouldn’t dare!
  • Now, now, Mim, Mim!
  • No-No dragons, remember?
  • Did I say no purple dragons?
  • Did I?
  • I win, I win!
  • Oh, that horrible old witch!
  • I’ll, I’ll peck her eyes out!
  • Huh, no, no.
  • No, no, no.
  • - He’s gone!
  • - Disappeared.
  • Madam, I have not disappeared.
  • I am very tiny.
  • I’m a germ. A rare disease.
  • I’m called "malagolintomontorosis"…
  • and you caught me, Mim!
  • What?
  • First, you break out
  • into spots.
  • Followed by hot
  • and cold flashes.
  • Then violent sneezing.
  • Huh! Watch it, boy!
  • Oh! Er… You-You-You-You
  • sneaky old scoundrel!
  • Oh, it’s not too serious, madam.
  • Ah, you should recover…
  • in a few weeks and be as good, uh…
  • Ah, heh-heh… l-I mean as bad as ever.
  • But, ah, I would suggest
  • plenty of rest…
  • and lots and lots
  • of sunshine!
  • I hate sunshine!
  • I hate horrible,
  • wholesome sunshine!
  • I hate it, I hate it!
  • I hate, hate, hate, hate…
  • You were really great, Merlin,
  • but-but you could’ve been killed.
  • It was worth it, lad, if you
  • learned something from it.
  • Knowledge and wisdom
  • is the real power.
  • Right you are, Wart,
  • so stick to your schooling, boy.
  • Oh-Oh, don’t worry, I will, sir.
  • I will, oh, I really will.
  • We will sing all night
  • and all day we will fight
  • For the blue oak tree
  • on the field of white
  • For the blue oak tree
  • on the fie-ie-ie-ie-ield
  • Of white
  • Here’s to victory in London
  • for my son, Kay!
  • Sir Kay.
  • I’ve been knighted,
  • don’t forget.
  • No-o, of course, son,
  • of course.
  • Ah, here’s to Sir Kay.
  • And who knows?
  • The future king
  • of all England!
  • - Watch it, will ya?
  • - Kay the king?
  • What a dreadful thought.
  • Sir Ector! Sir Ector!
  • Hobbs has come down
  • with the mumps!
  • Face all-all-all
  • puffed up like a toad!
  • Then Kay’ll need another squire,
  • hang it all.
  • - Hmm. Wart, you’re it.
  • - I’m what, sir?
  • Kay’s squire.
  • You’re going to London, boy.
  • Oh, Sir Ector!
  • Whoa! What? Whoa!
  • Merlin! Archimedes! Merlin!
  • Merlin, look!
  • I’m a squire!
  • Hah!
  • Oh. Uh, very nice, boy.
  • Yes, indeed. A fine monkey suit
  • for polishing boots.
  • It’s-It’s what
  • all the squires wear.
  • And I thought you were
  • going to amount to something!
  • I thought you had
  • a few brains!
  • Great future. Hah!
  • A stooge for that
  • big lunk Kay.
  • Congratulations, boy!
  • What do y… What do you want
  • me to be? I’m nobody.
  • You… You don’t know a thing
  • about what’s goin’ on today.
  • L-l-l-I’m lucky
  • to be Kay’s squire.
  • D… Oh! D…
  • Of all the idiotic…
  • Y-Y-Y… l…
  • Blow me to Bermuda!
  • Where… Uh, where did he go?
  • - To Bermuda, I suppose.
  • - Where’s that?
  • Oh, an island way off somewhere
  • that hasn’t been discovered yet.
  • Will he ever come back?
  • Who knows?
  • Who knows anything?
  • For the crown
  • of all England…
  • let the tournament begin.
  • Oh, Kay, now
  • it’s up to the swords.
  • Swords? Swords?
  • Ah… Oh, no! Kay?
  • What? What?
  • I, eh…
  • l-l-I forgot your sword.
  • Forgot my sword?
  • L… l-I left it
  • back at the inn.
  • Why, you bungling little fool!
  • I’ll… Oof!
  • You better get it!
  • Or don’t you dare come back!
  • Let me in! Let me in!
  • Somebody please!
  • Please let me in!
  • It’s no use, boy.
  • They’ve all gone to the tournament.
  • Oh, what’ll I do?
  • Kay’s got to have a sword.
  • Look, boy! Look!
  • There in the churchyard.
  • A sword!
  • Oh, Archimedes, a sword!
  • You’re gonna have a time
  • pullin’ it out.
  • Huh! Watch it, boy!
  • Better leave it alone!
  • But Kay’s got to have
  • a sword.
  • Now, come on, quick.
  • Let’s get out of here!
  • Y-You’re up next, son.
  • Uh, better get ready.
  • Kay, Kay, here’s a sword.
  • This is not my sword!
  • Hold on, Kay!
  • Wait a minute.
  • "Whoso pulleth out
  • this sword…"
  • Ooh, eh… It’s the sword
  • in the stone!
  • - The sword in the stone? It can’t be.
  • - But look. It is!
  • - It’s the marvellous sword.
  • - Hold everything.
  • Someone’s pulled the sword
  • from the stone.
  • Where did you get it, Wart?
  • I, l-I pulled it out of an anvil
  • that was on a stone…
  • i-in, in a churchyard.
  • - That’s funny!
  • - The lad’s a young Samson!
  • You’re making a fool of us, boy.
  • Now tell the truth.
  • - But I did, sir. Ow! Ooh!
  • - Then come on, prove it.
  • - Ouch!
  • - Back to the stone with you.
  • - Yes, prove it.
  • - Come on! Prove it!
  • All right, boy,
  • let’s have the miracle.
  • Now, wait a minute!
  • Anyone can pull it
  • once it’s been pulled.
  • Go to it, Kay.
  • Give it all you got.
  • Put your back into it!
  • - Here now!
  • - Here, here, here!
  • - Push him and see.
  • - It’s my turn. One side!
  • - Pull this thing.
  • - Hold on. That’s not fair.
  • I say we let
  • the boy try it.
  • That’s what I say.
  • Give the boy a chance.
  • Go ahead, son.
  • It’s a miracle
  • ordained by heaven.
  • This boy is our king.
  • Well, by Jove.
  • - What’s the lad’s name?
  • - Eh, Wart.
  • Oh, uh, I mean Arthur.
  • - Hail, King Arthur!
  • - Hail, King Arthur! Long live the king!
  • - Long live King Arthur!
  • Long live the king.
  • - I can’t believe it!
  • - Ooh, forgive me, son.
  • - Hail, King Arthur.
  • - Long live the king. Long live…
  • - Forgive me.
  • - King Arthur. Long live the king.
  • - Oh, please don’t, sir.
  • - Kay, bow down to your king.
  • - Hail, King Arthur.
  • Long live the king.
  • - Hail, King Arthur.
  • - So, at last the miracle…
  • had come to pass in that
  • far off time upon New Year’s Day…
  • and the glorious reign
  • of King Arthur was begun.
  • I can’t be a king, Archimedes. I don’t
  • know anything about ruling a country.
  • I told you to leave the thing
  • in the stone, boy.
  • I’ll, I’ll run away,
  • that’s what I’ll do.
  • They’ll just have to get
  • somebody else.
  • Better take the side door, Wart.
  • Out the side door.
  • Hail, King Arthur!
  • Long live the King!
  • There’s another door. Over there,
  • over there! Come on, come on!
  • Long live King Arthur!
  • Long li…
  • Looks-Looks like
  • we’re surrounded, boy.
  • Oh, Archimedes,
  • I wish Merlin was here.
  • Merlin! Merlin!
  • Oh, Merlin, you’re back
  • from Ber-Ber-Ber…
  • Bermuda?
  • Yes, back from Bermuda…
  • and the 20th century.
  • And believe me,
  • you can have it.
  • One big modern mess!
  • Alakazam!
  • I’m in an awful pickle.
  • I’m king.
  • Ooh, he pulled the sword
  • from the stone.
  • Ha-ha!
  • Of course, of course!
  • King Arthur and his
  • Knights of the Round Table.
  • - Round table?
  • - Oh, uh, w-would you
  • rather have a square one?
  • Oh, no. Round’ll be fine.
  • Boy, boy, boy.
  • You’ll become
  • a great legend.
  • They’ll be writing books
  • about you for centuries to come.
  • Why, they might even make
  • a motion picture about you.
  • - Motion picture?
  • - Oh.
  • Uh, well, um… Uh, that’s
  • something like television…
  • without commercials.
  • Hail, King Arthur
  • Long live the King