FANDOM


[The living room scene at the Wolowitz house where Howard is playing a video game and Bernadette enters from the dining room with a magazine pile in her hand].
Bernadette: (asking Howard crossly) Hey. You got a minute?
Howard: Not really. Visigoths are kind of up my butt right now.
Bernadette: (gives him a stroppy order) Pause the game, Howard.
Howard: “Howard”? Uh-oh. (pauses his game) Make room, Visigoths. (asking Bernadette) 'Sup?
Bernadette: (with a stroppy smile) We need to talk about redecorating this place.
Howard: (groans) Oh, no, not this again.
Bernadette: (she sighs and then speaks to him crossly) Look, I get that you grew up here and you're attached to things looking a certain way, but... I want this to feel like my house, too.
Howard: Oh, honey, of course it's your house. Why else would you be cleaning it all the time? (chuckles)
Bernadette: (She is now very firm and cross) All right. Let's start over. I'm redecorating. The furniture, the carpeting, the walls. I'm changing everything that depresses me when I look at it. (suggests to Howard angrily) Try not to be one of those things.
[Bernadette slams the magazine pile down onto the table in fury and she gets up off the couch in a huff]
Howard: May I say something?
Bernadette: (she is still very cross) Is it about how I can't have new wallpaper 'cause your dad left when you were little and your mom died?
Howard: (he yells with huge loud anger) Never mind.
[Bernadette now snorts and hits the dining room door crossly].

[The kitchen scene at the Wolowitz kitchen where Bernadette enters the Howard is sandwich making all by himself].
Bernadette(she's being friendly to Howard) Whatcha doing?
Howard: Oh! Making myself a bologna sandwich like my mom used to make me after my dad left, but before she died.
[He concentrates on cutting the sandwich in half all by himself for a second. Bernadette now turns unhappy and she speaks to him softly and crossly]
Bernadette: Okay, listen, I'm thinking that maybe we can compromise on the house.
Howard: (He turns to his wife) I'm listening.
Bernadette: (she snaps to him softly) Let's just redo one room and see how it goes.
Howard: (speaks with his mouthful) That is reasonable. But what room?
Bernadette: (she's asking him with a very firm smile) How 'bout this one?
Howard: (He doesn't like the sound of this) No way. No, this is the room I associate the most with my mom.
Bernadette: (She gets too annoyed and cross) Then how 'bout the bathroom?
Howard: I want to change my answer.
[Bernadette gets more crosser for one second]
Bernadette: (she is now out of plans) Fine. Then the dining room.
Howard: I guess we didn't use it very often. Unless we had company. Which didn't happen much after my dad left and not at all after my mom...
Bernadette: (She now storms off in fury) Great! I'm gonna go pick out paint samples.

Bernadette: So I should probably explain why I kind of fibbed.
[both Howard and Mike are covered in dust. Mike is glaring crossly at Bernadette and Howard is twitching his lips].
Howard: That would be nice.
Bernadette: I told my dad that you were the one who didn't want kids because I didn't want to disappoint him.
Howard: But you were okay throwing me under the bus?
Bernadette: Turns out yeah, I didn't think twice about it.
Mike: Bernie, you don't need to worry about me. But I don't want to see you miss out. Raising children was the most rewarding experience of my life.
Bernadette: (She is a lot crosser) Oh, please. Mom did everything. All you did was come home from work, sit on the couch and drink beer. How is that raising kids?
Mike: This is really a conversation for husband and wife. (awkward chuckle) I'm gonna go clean up, hit the road. If your mother asks, I was here till 10:00.
Raj: It's interesting your father didn't help around the house and Howard doesn't help, either, so... in a way, Howard's not only like your father, but he's also like the child that you're afraid to have.
Howard: Why are you still here?
Raj: Fine, I'll leave. But it sounds like somebody needs a fresh diaper.
[He exits the kitchen and now the "Howardette" couple are alone at the table at last]
Howard: All right... I admit... that I don't help out a lot. (chuckles softly) And I need to work on that. But... (sighs) if we had a kid, it would be different.
Bernadette: (asking her husband crossly) Why?
Howard: Because... when my dad left, I promised myself that... if I ever had a chance to be a father... I'd always be there.
Bernadette(softly) Okay, I'll think about it.
Howard: And this an actual “I'll think about it,” not like the “"can we get a motorcycle with a sidecar" I'll think about it”?
Bernadette: It's an actual “I'll think about it.”
Howard: I really believe I'd be a great dad.
Bernadette: (happily) I know you would.
Howard: Speaking of... making babies, what do you say I wash up and poke around your crawlspace?
[Mike unhappily enters the kitchen and he immediately leaves. Howard sees the kitchen door close].

Penny: The study say what happened to the unpopular kids?
Leonard: You tell me. You woke up in bed with one.

Sheldon: Hello Amy, its Sheldon. Yea, I know we’re broken up, but I’m leaving this message because I thought perhaps you’d like to watch me being interviewed for a documentary about Mt. Spock. Or as I like to call it, a Spockumentary. I’m going to use that joke when I’m interviewed so try to laugh like you’re hearing for the first time. You know, hysterically with a tinge of sadness since I’m no longer in your life. Bye.

Adam: What was it about Spock that appealed to you?
Sheldon: I think the same thing that appeals to people everywhere. The dream of a cold rational world devoid of human emotions

Sheldon: Not only is it signed to me, but this is where he wiped his mouth, so we are currently in the presence of Leonard Nimoy’s DNA.
Wil: Um, doesn’t Adam count as Leonard Nimoy’s DNA?
Sheldon: No offense, but this is pure 100% Nimoy. And because of your mother you’re only 50%. Which isn’t bad, but anything you wipe your mouth on gets thrown away.

Sheldon: My 1/8 scale Wil Wheaton action figure. I also have the other kind of will. And in it I will my Wil back to Wil.
Leonard: Will Wil want it?
Wil: Wil won’t.
Penny: What is that ring box?
Sheldon: Oh, that is an engagement ring that I was going to give my girlfriend Amy.
Penny: WHAT?!?!?
Leonard: You bought her a ring?
Sheldon: No, no. It’s been in my family for generations. Except for a short time when Comanche’s cut off my great-great-great-grandmother’s finger and stole it.
Wil: Sheldon’s that’s awful.
Sheldon: No. The Texas Rangers tracked them down to their village and slaughtered every last one of them. It was a happy ending. Well, for my nine fingered Nana.
Penny: Okay, back to the ring. Does Amy even know about this?
Sheldon: No. She broke up with me before I could broach the subject.
Leonard: Oh man, I’m sorry. That must have been devastating for you.
Sheldon: No not at all. No, I’m fine. You know, Amy had reservations about our relationship, so it all worked out for the best.
Penny: I knew. It just…
Sheldon: I said, I’m fine!

Sheldon: As I said, the entire point of emulating Spock was to rise above human emotions which I spent a lifetime mastering.
Penny: Oh, psssst!
Sheldon: Excuse me?
Penny: I’m sorry. I’m not here.
Sheldon: No you went Psssst. What does Pssst mean?
Penny: Um…
Leonard: You did go Pssst.
Penny: All right, fine. Well, Sheldon, I’m no expert, but aren’t you completely missing the point of Spock? I mean, he like to act like had no emotions, but he was half-human.
Leonard: Just like you.
Penny: I’m just saying, you pretend you don’t, but you have feelings like everybody else.
Sheldon: Not true. No look at me. I had an engagement ring to give a girl, and instead she rejected me and am I emotional about that? No. No. I am sitting here on a couch, talking about my favorite TV character, like nothing happened! Because I am just like him, all logical, all the time!
Penny: Sweetie, you’re yelling.
Sheldon: Because when I speak at a regular volume, no one seems to believe me that I’ve put this Amy nonsense behind me! (runs off to his room)
Wil: This documentary is going to be awesome.

Penny: I can’t believe Sheldon was going to ask Amy to marry him.
Leonard: I know. And I still can’t believe he watched what we did and that couch and still sits on it.
Penny: Yeah.
Sheldon: Hello.
Leonard: Hey buddy. How you doing?
Sheldon: Better. Did Wil and Adam leave?
Leonard: Yeah.
Sheldon: Do you think they want to put my outburst in the documentary?
Leonard: Oh, yeah.
Penny: Definitely.
Sheldon: Well, there’s no point dwelling on it. As the Vulcans say:Kup-fun-tor ha'kiv na'ish du stau? (Vulcan phrse. It means:"Can you return life to what you kill?").
Penny: Do you know what that means?
Leonard: No.
Penny: Are you telling me the truth?
Leonard: Nirsh (Vulcan phrase. It means: "No").
Sheldon: Well, this is ridiculous. Being upset about Amy all the time isn’t accomplishing anything. If I want to resolve this situation, then I’m going to take action.
Penny: What are you going to do?
Sheldon: I’m going to find her and ask her to marry me. If she says yes, we can put his behind us and resume are relationship. And if she says no….well then she can just ponfo mirann (Vulcan phrase. It means "go to hell" )
Leonard: He didn’t mean that.