Spider-Man: Here I am. Back on the old Helicarrier because Goblin got away again. Again. Sometimes it feels like I don't make a difference. But what am I gonna do? Give up? Yeah, right. Can't quit now. Gotta keep fighting. Goblin's defenses are active? Looks like I'm on the right track. Pfff. So easy.
Electro: You're a madman, Goblin. You want me to belive that that's a... what'd you call it? Doorway to other worlds?
Spider-Man: Electrto? What's he doing here?
Green Goblin: This "thing", Electro, is the siege perilous. A mystical key allowing us to enter universes parallel to our own. Picture the possibilities! I'm talking about parallel worlds with Spider-Men!
Electro: More than one Spider-Man? He's the last guy I wanna see. Count me out. This is nonsense, if ya ask me. (Screams with Pain)
Electro: (Groans, Screams)
Green Goblin: I'm not asking you, Electro. I'm telling you!
Electro: Lemme out! What are you doing?
Green Goblin: Excellent question. I need more power because I am going to hunt these alternate Spider-Men down! And gather their DNA for a very special purpose. And you, Electro, are going to be the energy source that makes me there.
Spider-Man: Sorry, Goblin! Not sure what you plan to do with DNA, but I'm sure It's evil! Besides, that bat thing does not look sanitary.
Green Goblin: Spider-Man?
Spider-Man: Spider-Man? Really? Where?
Green Goblin: (Grunts)
Spider-Man: Gotcha! No no no noo! (Screams)
Spider-Man: This is the last time I let you drive. (Screams) (Grunts) Goblin's portal must've failed. Otherwise I'd be in some other world-- Whoa! Ah! Whoa! flying car? Ow! Oh! flying... I don't even know what that is. Whoa! Wh-Where am I? Spidey? You are definitely not in Brooklyn anymore. Okay, so, nothing track down through a parrel world. And this is like my New York, only... New Yorkier. Whoa! Hey! I'm swingin' here! And buses fly. And I can barely breathe. So, either I'm really high up where the air is thin, or I'm in shock! I'm gonna go with shock. So many corporations. Alchemax? Labelmaker 2099? Even wheatcakes? Huh! Whooooooa! Hoo-hoo, nice flying car. Okay, focus, Spidey. Step 1: Find Goblin. Step 2: Stop Goblin. Step 3: Figure out some way to get a flying car. Ah! Giant Robot Jameson!
J. Jonah Jameson 2099: Good morning, New York 2099!
Spider-Man: It's 2099? Goblin didn't say anything about time travel. So as much as this looks like some future-y tomorrow land, It's gotta be an alternate reality.
J. Jonah Jameson 2099: The city in the theroes of a crime wave. And rumor on the street is that Spider-Man has given up. Which is good news, since Spider-Man is a menace!
Spider-Man: Huh. Even in other realities I can't get away from J. Jonah and his J. Jonah mouth. What part of alternate doesn't he understand?
J. Jonah Jameson 2099: If Spider-Man has quit, I personally guarantee that we will see an immediate drop in the crime rate.
J. Jonah Jameson 2099: This just in. In a possibly unrelated story, we have a robbery in progress. But it's probably Spider-Man.
Spider-Man: I might not be from 2099, but this is still a job for you friendly neighborhood Spider-Man. Greetings, robots! Seeing as you're most likely evil robots, I'll just take these. (Grunts) Of course, They have laser guns. Ah! Nighty night, robots. Hope you dream of electric sheep. (Shrieks)
Spider-Man 2099: Yahh!
Spider-Man: Whoa. Awesome. You're Spider-Man, but you're... who are you? Are you me? And what's up with the costume? Is that a metallic fiber? Whoa! Uhh!
Spider-Man 2099: So what's it this time? Another android? or a clone imposter?
Spider-Man: Android? Clone? Ew. And I'm not an imposter! I'm the real thing - Mmmph!
Spider-Man 2099: I'm about to quit this gig, so congratulations. You get to be one of my last catches.
Spider-Man: (Grunts) Wait! You have to listen to me. You're in danger!
Spider-Man 2099: (Grunts)
Spider-Man 2099: (Grunts)
Spider-Man: Great. And now, I'm in danger.
Spider-Man 2099: (Screams) Hoo-Ah!
Spider-Man: Ugh! Listen to me! I'm you! I know it sounds crazy! I'm Spider-Man! But I'm not crazy! Talons on your hands and feet? I've got an adamantium nail clipper if you wanna borrow it. Hint, hint. And the speed thing! I dig the enhancements. Would dig it even more if it weren't aimed at me.
Spider-Man 2099: It doesn't matter. With all of my powers, there's always another crook. Nothing I do makes a difference. (Grunts)
Spider-Man: (Grunts) I know what you're going through. This is hard to believe, and I know that because I find it hard to believe-- But I'm am Spider-Man! From a parallel universe! Did I mention I'm not crazy?
Spider-Man 2099: Heh. You're Spider-Man? Spider-Man is just a legend from the past that someone is trying to recreate-- unsuccessfully.
Spider-Man: Are you dissing the threads? Oh come on, this is classic! Red and blue! Wait-- did you say a legend?
Spider-Man 2099: You don't know even know who you're pretending to be. It's all just a joke to you!
Spider-Man 2099: Huh. Never thought to create a double-layer intertwined web cable.
Spider-Man: Yeah, the tensile strength is exponenitally stronger than-- Wait, we can talk shop later. Right now, you need to listen to me! There's someone after you.
Spider-Man 2099: Yeah? Well, welcome to my life pretty much every day. Who is it this time?
Spider-Man: Ah! Him!
Goblin: (Laughs) You made the trip. And a friend. And brought him out into the open for me.
Spider-Man 2099: Unh. How do you know this guy?
Spider-Man: He's been trying to knock me off since. Oh, a hundred years ago. We go way back.
Spider-Man 2099: If that's true, then you never stopped him! It's like no one's ever really beaten. They keep coming back, causing more chaos!
Spider-Man: Dude, I so hear you. But how about we at least try to stop this guy?
Goblin: Yah! Yah!
Spider-Man 2099: I got this!
Spider-Man: How about we got this?
Spider-Man: See? Teamwork!
Spider-Man 2099: We're too slow! (Grunts)
Goblin: Hold still.
Spider-Man 2099: (Groans)
Goblin: I have what I came for. Now, to leave a little memento of my own.
Goblin: Electro, open the next portal.
Electro: Argh! Okay!
Spider-Man 2099: The whole top level's going down!
Spider-Man: That thing's enormous! Wait. This is 2099. Maybe the building's made of Ultra lightweight material. (Grunts) No, it's really heavy!
Spider-Man 2099: My webs aren't strong enough!
Spider-Man: (Grunts) Mine won't hold either. But if we interweave our webs like before--
Spider-Man 2099: Whoa. He is Spider-Man.
Spider-Man: Come on! Hold, hold, hold, hold, hold! Yeah! I just saved the future. Well, alternate reality future.
Spider-Man 2099: You really are him. The Spider-Man. You saved the day.
Spider-Man: We saved the day. Without you, people would've lost their lives. Face it, this city needs a Spider-Man, and you're it. If you give up. The legend ends. And everyone loses hope.
Spider-Man 2099: There's a good reason you're a legend.
Spider-Man: Me? A legend? Ee-yeah, no. I just try to do my best. Oops. Gotta go. That's my ride. And if I don't leave without me. See ya, 2099! Okay, Goblin. Wherever you go, I'm gonna follow. If this is a theme park ride it will be the best roller coaster ever. Unfortunately, It's Goblin's latest plan. He's opening portals to parallel worlds to collect DNA from other Spideys. Not good. Like I have to tell you that. (Echoing) And It's up to me to stop him. (Screaming) Whoa, whoa, whoa! Bad time to run out of webs. Really should've thought about the placement of my backup web fluid! Whoa... Wha'! Huh? Ow! (Groans) At least it looks like I'm home. Now, to find Goblin on my own turf.
J. Joanna Jameson: The crime rate has never been higher, and yet we're raising these so-called "Heroes"?
Spider-Man: Never thought I'd be happy to hear that voice again. Though something sounds off.
J. Joanna Jameson: Stay tuned for my in-depth expose on the vigilante menaces plaguing our city!
Spider-Man: Uh... That is not right.
Spider-Girl: Hey! What are you doing?
Spider-Man: What am I doing? What is J.J.-- Whoa! Unh!
Spider-Girl: Pretending that you can shoot webs? That was so dangerous! You were almost street pizza!
Spider-Man: Pretending? What?
Spider-Girl: I'm sick of rescuing fakers and wannabes. You're putting the city in danger.
Spider-Man: Me? Wha'?
Spider-Girl: Especially you! Even more than it already is, which, by the way, is a lot. It's always my job to fix it.
Spider-Man: Wait, I-- wha'?
Spider-Girl: And the costume. A boy pretending to be Spidey? Now I've seen everything.
Spider-Man: Oh, okay. I get it now. You're a girl.
Spider-Girl: Wow. A genius, too.
Spider-Man: Huh? Hey, wait up! We need to talk! I'm you. Well, kind of. I'm Spider-Man. From a parallel world. Wow, I'm actually starting to sound convincing saying that.
Spider-Girl: Heh. Clearly you don't understand how this works. Boys can't be Spider-Girl! You'll just hurt yourself.
Spider-Man: I'll hur-- What? No, see, there's crystal that can open a portal to other universes-- some a little freaker than others-- and...
Spider-Girl: (Chuckles) Give it up, cosplay, and let the real heroes do their job. (Grunts)
Spider-Man: Listen to me! You're in trouble!
Spider-Girl: Hmph! Oh, I'll show you trouble! It's on now! Don't mess with the big girls!
Spider-Man: Ah! Wow. That is really annoying. (Grunting)
Spider-Girl: Sorry, Nicole. I'm gonna be late. I'm dealing with something. SOmething very minor.
J. Joanna Jameson: In my ongoing report, I have proof that most of the crime in the city can be traced back to Spider-Girl! Everytime there's trouble, look for the red and blue menace! Spider-Girl: thief or pick-pocket? Spider-Girl: vandal or villain? Spider-Girl: Public Enemy #1!
Spider-Girl: Ugh. Why do I bother? I stop every villainess in the city, and J. Joanna keeps ripping me. It never stops.
Spider-Man: You can't let him-- er, her get to you. Especially now now. You're in a lot of danger.
Spider-Girl: Oh, what is it? Thursday?
Spider-Man: I came here to save you, so...
Spider-Girl: (Laughs) You? Save me? How exactly is a boy going to save Spider-Girl?
Spider-Man: Uh, first of all. That's Spider-Man. And someone once told me that with great power comes--
Spider-Girl: ...Great responsibility? That stuff about you being me in some parallel world. For real?
Spider-Man: Yup. I'm Peter.
Spider-Girl: Call me Petra.
Spider-Man: This is really--
Spider-Man: You said it. We don't have much time. Goblin is somewhere, and--
Spider-Girl: Goblin? She's one if my deadest enemies. If your Goblin's anything like mine, I know where to find her... him. Them.
Norma: A C in cheminstry and a D in english? How can you get a D in the only language you speak, Harriet? Oh, why can't you be more like your friend, that Parker Girl? Security breach. I have to get back to work. If you thought you could invade my private lab, think again!
Norma: (Gasps) I... I...
Goblin: You're Norma Osborn, I know. My name is Norman Osborn. We have to talk.
Spider-Man: I should warn you. Goblin's no joke. He's--
Spider-Girl: I can handle him. If I can take down Norma, a guy version of her will be a piece of cake.
Spider-Man: That's no Goblin. That's Goblin!
Spider-Girl: I guess Goblin can be a man? Or is it a monster?
Goblin: Why can't I be both?
Spider-Man: Let's just leave it at monster.
Spider-Girl: Man of monster. I'm taking him down! You just try to keep Norma busy and not get hurt.
Spider-Man: Pumpkins? Is it halloween already?
Norma/Green Goblin: Trick or treat!
Spider-Man: Okay. Not too bad. Pretty good actually. But you haven't seen what happens when you make Spider-Man really mad.
Norma/Green Goblin: Spider-Man? Man? Ha! You'd be adorable if you weren't so irritating!
Spider-Man: I don't mind a villianess who tries to destroy me, but calling me adorable? Now you've-- Ohh! (Grunts, Sighs) That was... not adorable.
Spider-Girl: (Grunts) (Groans)
Norma/Green Goblin: You got what you came for. Now I get what I want.
Spider-Girl: I underestimated him.
Spider-Man: Goblin said something about Norma getting what she wanted.
Spider-Girl: What did she want?
Spider-Man: That's what I'm worried about.
Ultimate Norma: (Laughs) Now I can finally destroy Spider-Girl, and as a bonus, her new little sidekick!
Spider-Man: Uh, sidekick?
Ultimate Norma: (Laughing)
Ultimate Norma: A woman could get used to this kind of power.
Spider-Girl: She's unstoppable.
Spider-Man: Only seems like it. Underneath all that, she's still the same Goblin. You know her attacks, and what she can do. Catch!
Ultimate Norma: (Screams in Pain)
Goblin: Electro! Open a portal to the next dimension!
Electro: I'm not your slave!
Goblin: Let's try that again!
Electro: (Pained Screaming) (Sighs) You'll get yours, Goblin.
Goblin: I'm looking forward to it.
Ultimate Norma: (Laughing)
Spider-Man: Uh, we're outta roof.
Spider-Girl: Georgia Washington Bridge! Go! You distract her. I'll go in for the knock-out.
Spider-Man: How about you distract her and...
Ultimate Norma: (Laughing)
Spider-Man: Never mind. Your way works. Not even close, Norma!
Ultimate Norma: (Growls, Gasps)
Spider-Man: Nice shot, Spider-Girl!
Ultimate Norma: (Screaming, Groaning)
Spider-Girl: You can get all the tech and power upgrades you want, Goblin. But you're never gonna beat Spider-Girl and her amazing friend.
Spider-Man: Once again! Not a sidekick!
Ultimate Norma: You're doomed, do you hear me, Spider-Girl? Doomed! (Roaring, Laughing)
Spider-Girl: (Screaming in Pain)
Spider-Man: Spider-Girl! No! (Grunts)
Ultimate Norma: (Screams)
Spider-Girl: Oh man! Forgot to refill web shooters! Uhh!
Spider-Girl: AH, I can't believe I've been saved by a boy. I'm never gonna live this down.
Spider-Man: You know that doesn't even bother me anymore. Much. Your Goblin is down. But my Goblin is still on the loose.
Spider-Girl: Wish you could stick around. I could really use help.
Spider-Man: You don't need help. Okay, expect for that last falling off the bridge thing. Hey, it's hard out there being Spidey, but you're in control. Look, you just kicked, um... She-Goblin's butt!
Spider-Girl: I did. And it felt good! And it feels good knowing that there's another me out there who's fighting every day. Makes me want to keep fighting too.
Spider-Man: Me too, actualy. Me too. Thanks, Spider-Girl. Okay, Goblin! Where are you taking me now?