What's my name?Edit

[The episode begins with Gumball playing a video game at Funland, and he starts panicking. Darwin attempts to comfort him.]
Darwin: Dude, chill out. It’s only a game!
Gumball: You don’t understand, man. I’ve never got this far before. Look how much I’m sweating.
Darwin: Stop it! You’ll electrocute yourself!
Game: Round complete!
Gumball: Oh, I can’t beat the final boss man! I’m weak.
Darwin: You’re not weak. You just lack upper-body strength, lower-body strength, and mental strength.
Gumball: Slap me. [Darwin slaps him] Harder. [Darwin slaps him again] Ow! Softer. [Darwin rubs Gumball's face] Okay, maybe somewhere in between. [Darwin slaps him once more]
Gumball: That was exactly right.
Darwin: Come on. You can win this by the power of… button mashing!
[Gumball hits all the buttons repeatedly very fast, making him beat the boss easily.]
Game: You win!
Gumball: Dude, what’s the point in learning all these combos if all you need is button mashing?
Darwin: Who cares? Top score!
Gumball: Aw, man. it’s only three letters in the top score. Mm, what do I go with - “GUM” or “BAL”?
Darwin: Maybe go with the least dumb-sounding.
Gumball: You’re right.
Gumball: Let’s go with “BAL”.
Darwin: No. Wait. Why don’t you use your real name instead of your nickname?
Gumball: Great idea! Wait. What is it?
Darwin: What do you mean, “what is it”? What kind of guy doesn’t know his own name?
Gumball: You don’t know it, either, do you?
Darwin: Nah.
Gumball: Then this shall be my quest. I will find out that name. I will stop at nothing! I will leave no stone unturned! I will climb the highest mountain, explore every island, search every cave! I will question every man, woman and animal! Fight a bear if I have to! I’ll wear shorts! I’ll milk a fish! I’ll shave a baby!
Darwin: Climb a rainbow!
Gumball: No, that would be ridiculous. But I will lick an owl! I will wrestle a senior citizen in jello!
[Watterson house, Gumball is still speaking]
Gumball: I’ll kick a crab in the face! And I’ll steal a watch from a ghost! I’ll eat a beard! I’ll marinate a plumber! And when they write about me in history books, they will say, “He did what had to be done to find out his real name".
Nicole: Your real name? It’s Zach.
Gumball: Uh!

Meet ZachEdit

[Elmore School Bus]
Gumball: Zach.
Darwin: Zach.
Gumball: Zach.
Darwin: Zach.
Gumball and Darwin: Zach.
Gumball: Za-a-a-a-ch.
Darwin: Za-a-a-a-ch.
Gumball: Za-a-a-ch.
Banana Joe: Who’s Zach?
Gumball: I am.
Banana Joe: Oh. [to Jamie]: Gumball’s called "Zach" now.
Jamie: So?
Banana Joe: Yeah. Good point.
[School hallway]
Gumball: Hey, coach, great game last night!
Coach: You’re not on the team, Watterson. [Gumball takes the ball from her and attempts to dribble it, but ends up hitting Juke]
Gumball: Go, Elmore ducks! Whoo-o-o-o-o! [carted away by Darwin] Hey Carrie, I think we really nailed the song last night. We’re totally gonna win the battle of the bands, man.
Carrie: You’re not in a band. I’m not in a band. I bet you can’t even give me the name of a band.
Gumball: Psch, yeah, like… Germany.
Darwin: Whoo! [carts Gumball away]
[At the cafeteria, Gumball skates past the tables and grabs a an apple, taking a bite of it and then tossing it away]
Banana Joe: Hey, that’s my cousin! [Banana Joe's cousin cries]
[At the school courtyard, Jamie and Tina are playing basketball, until Gumball swipes the ball and attempts to shoot it into the basket, but misses and hits a car]
Gumball: Touchdown! Whoo!
[Gumball skates into the school hallway, and kicks his board, which knocks out Mr. Small]
Gumball: Watch out, world! There’s a new cat in town! And he’s called… [slides across the pavement] Zach!
[The school bell rings and students start exiting the school.]
Gumball: School’s over already?
Darwin: Yeah, and you spent the whole day with one eyebrow raised, behaving like a horrible jerk. Are you all right?
Gumball: Oh, Zach is fine.
Darwin: Are you sure?’ Cause Zach is kind of digesting part of an apple kid’s face right now.
Gumball: That’s cause Zach does what he wants.
Darwin: Sorry, but who exactly is this Zach? I thought he’d be like Gumball but with a shorter name.
Gumball: No! Gumball’s a loser. Zach is the man. Zach doesn’t ask. [Licks Sarah] He takes.
Darwin: Ugh! Dude, what are you doing?!
Gumball: Zach doesn’t have to explain himself because he smells so good.
Darwin: Zach, listen to me.
Gumball: Zach doesn’t listen. He hears.
Darwin: That’s the same thing!
Gumball: Oh, wait. What was that? I’m afraid I can’t listen you.
Darwin: What?
Gumball: Walk with me. See, Zach doesn’t wait for doors to open. He punches right through them.
[Gumball punches the doors, but they open before he hits them. After a while he gets frustrated and stops.]
Gumball: Metaphorically, of course. [enters the store] See, here’s another example. Zach doesn’t waste his time. He goes straight to the point. [Zach starts cutting in line] Make way, losers. I’m more important than you.
[Red Construction Man stops Zach]
Gumball: You think that’ll stop Zach? Well, Zach is like water. He always finds a way.
Red Construction Man: [Zach goes through the man's clothes] Oh! Ah! Ooh!
Darwin: [follows Zach to the front of the line] You do realize you’ve done all this, and you have nothing to buy, right?
Gumball: Yeah, that’s why you’re gonna stay here and hold my place.
Red Construction Man: Hey, kid, get in line like everyone else.
Lizard Woman: You’ve got three seconds to move, or I’ll bingo-wing you.
Marvin Finklehimer: Have you got no respect?!
Red Construction Man: Get to the back of the line!
Banana Bob: I’m screaming because they are! [throws objects at Darwin]
Darwin: Dude! Can you say sorry to these people before they get to the heavy items at the bottom of the cart?
Gumball: Zach doesn’t apologize. He uses his charm. Can you pay for this, buddy? Thank you.
Darwin: All right, you lovable rogue. Hey, wait! Where are you going?
Gumball: Zach doesn’t hang out with losers. He lives too fast. [Zach rapidly walks out of the store]
Darwin: No, wait!
[Darwin charges after Zach but gets bingo-winged by Lizard Woman.]
Lizard Woman: I warned you.

Zach Must GoEdit

[Back at the Watterson house, an angry Darwin slams the door shut and finds Anais popping out of a boot.]
Darwin: What are you doing? What happened?
Anais: Zach. He said he needed his own “hang space”, so he threw us out of the bedroom. This is where I sleep now...
Darwin: What?! What about me?
[Anais points to the turtle's lair. The turtle laughs evilly, and Darwin whimpers.]
Darwin: How can Mr. Dad let this happen?
[Shows Richard dressed in a skirt with makeup and a handbag]
Richard: I’m not allowed to be called “dad" anymore. Zach made me sign away my position as man of the house. What am I now? Assistant mom? Vice mother? Man mom?
Darwin: Okay... What does Mrs. Mom think of this?
Anais: Ask her yourself.
[Darwin walks to the kitchen and sees Zach poking Nicole repeatedly.]
Darwin: What’s going on?
Nicole: I tried to teach him a lesson by beating him at anything he chose.
Darwin: What did he choose?
Nicole: Being obnoxious!
Gumball: Yeah, I won!
[Zach runs, hops off Darwin's head, and lands on the table]
Gumball: Boom shaka laka laka mucka lacka cracker jacka flak attack alack ahucka boo-yah!
Darwin: Okay, man mom, I need a mirror! [he is handed the mirror and he shows it to Zach] Look at yourself. You’re such a jerk now, you’ve start popping your collar.
Gumball: Ah! How did that happen?
Darwin: What? You seriously don’t remember?
Anais: It’s Zach. Zach is taking over. Gumball, you need to remember who you really are.
Darwin: Yeah, the real Gumball doesn’t care about winning. He fails with style, like that time you tried to cross that bridge in a bucket.
[A flashback of Gumball in "The Curse" is shown, where he is trying to jump the bridge.]
Gumball: Gonna make it! I’m gonna make it! I’m gonna make it! [falls] I’m not gonna make it!
[The memory changes. Zach jumps the gap effortlessly and manages to pull off a stunt]
Zach: Yeah!
[Gumball is now performing an air guitar in real life, then passes out]
Darwin: No! Zach is transforming your memories, dude.
Nicole: We need to get rid of this Zach permanently.
Anais: One step ahead of you. [hefts a baseball bat, and whispers] I knew this day would come.
Nicole: By changing his name, to Gumball, at the town hall.
Anais: [puts away the bat, laughing nervously] Yeah, Yeah, that’s what I, that's what i meant...

Zach vs GumballEdit

[The Wattersons, in the car, speed down the road. Gumball groans.]
Darwin: We’re losing him!
Nicole: Okay, hold on!
Anais: Look out! [A truck blocks the way]
Nicole: The brakes don't work!
Anais: Aah!
[The car's roof gets torn off by the truck as they move under it.]
Gumball: [groans] Where am I? What’s going on? Why is Dad dressed like a woman?
Anais: No one really knows.
Gumball: Ow. Why are these in my pocket? [takes out a pair of wire cutters]
Darwin: [gasps] It was Zach who cut the brakes. He knew we’d try to change your name.
[Zach takes control]
Zach: Zach is always three steps ahead. AHAHAHAHA!!
Gumball: Ugh.
Darwin: No, no, no! Fight him, Gumball! Fight him!
[Gumball is in another memory, but it is a bunch of memories squashed together. The Forest of Doom is to his right and the town, with Kenneth and Hector fighting in it, are to his left]
Darwin: Gumball, don’t let him change your memories!
Gumball: And how exactly am I supposed to do that?
Darwin: By remembering you’re a loser, like that time Tobias kicked your butt!
[Gumball flashes back to The Knights when Tobias was hitting a trash can he was hiding behind.]
Gumball: Hey, I remember that. Gosh, I really am a bit of a loser.
Zach: Not for long!
[Zach transforms, and suddenly he's holding a bazooka and is in his paintball gear.]
Zach: Well, my friend, looks like you brought a stick to a bazooka fight.
Gumball: What the what?! Stop messing with my memories, you cheat punk!
Zach: Ha! Cheat this! [fires at Gumball]
Gumball: “Cheat this”? What does that even mean?
[The rocket explodes on Gumball. The smoke clears and Gumball notices his hand starting to fade.]
Gumball: He’s too strong dude. I’m fading away!
Darwin: Quick, Gumball’s fading away!
Nicole: We need a shortcut!
Larry: Here’s your change, sir. Thank you for coming and - get out of here!
[Gary floors it and evades the Wattersons, who speed by. The food in Larry's hand has disappeared.]
Larry: Huh?
[Richard is eating the stolen food. Nicole looks at him.]
Richard: What? I’m stress-eating! You’re not the only one who gets hormonal!
Nicole: Are you sure you don’t want to take off that wig? I think it’s messing with your head.
Richard: Oh, first I’m fat, and then you don’t like my hair?! My mother was right!
Darwin: Dude, try to hold on to a memory where you lose, like that time when you lost that tennis match on purpose!
[Gumball flashes back to "The Sweaters". It shows Zach rapid-firing tennis-balls, and they are battering Carlton and Troy.]
Gumball: Stop! That’s not the way it happened! [His hands continue to fade] Oh, man. Help!
[A police car appears next to the Wattersons.]
Doughnut Sheriff: Hey! Hey! Pull over and step out of the stolen vehicle!
[Richard turns to look at the Sheriff.]
Doughnut Sheriff: Ah! I meant, put a bag over your head, pull over, and step out of the stolen vehicle.
Nicole: Stolen vehicle? What’s he talking about?
[Anais pulls out a phone from Gumball's pockets]
Phone: Thank you for your call, sir. The officers are about to stop the people who stole your car.
Nicole: Could someone please check he’s got nothing else in his pockets?
Anais: [A mouse trap clamps her hand] Ow!
Zach: Zach is always three steps ahead. [laughs]
[Anais punches Gumball just as Zach loses control.]
Gumball: Ow.
Anais: Oh, sorry, sorry, sorry.
Darwin: Hey, remember that time in the tree house when you thought you were kissing Penny, but kissed me instead?
Gumball: Actually, I wouldn't mind if he erased that one.
Darwin: Yeah, me too. Well, try and find something else.
Doughnut Sheriff: Stop the car, lady-man! We've blocked the road ahead!
[Coffee Cop blocks the road with stingers]
Nicole: I’m sorry! We don’t have a choice!
[The Wattersons drive by the roadblock, which was placed on a different road.]
Burger Police Man: Uh, it seems the suspect drove through the roadblock, sir.
Doughnut Sheriff: What? How could you let him get away? What about the stingers?
[Jolly Hamburger drives through the roadblock and his tires are popped.]
Jolly Hamburger: Uh, sir, I think we’re gonna need back up.
Doughnut Sheriff: Ah, forget it. I’ll catch them myself.
[Doughnut Sheriff crashes into Burger Police Man]
Doughnut Sheriff: Let’s just put in the report that we let them off with a warning.

Name ChangeEdit

Anais: Mom, stop the car! The town hall is straight ahead!
[Nicole turns the keys and the car slowly drives into the hall]
Nicole: Please, we need your help.
Richard: We’ve got an identity crisis on our hands!
Darwin: Buddy, wake up! We need you to sign your name!
[Shows Zach's edited memories, with him wooing Penny, being the star of the football team, and hanging out with Tobias and Banana Joe.]
Gumball: My name? What is my name?
Zach: Dude doesn't even know his own name anymore. Just accept it and fade away.
[Paper Woman is doing her work extremely slowly]
Nicole: Just get on with it already!
Paper Woman: [slowly] I’m sorry, ma’am. I’m going as fast as I can.
[Nicole does the woman's work for her]
Darwin: [shakes Gumball] Come on, dude! You have to sign your name, or it’s not official!
[A memory of "The Fridge": Zach is laughing, holding the flag]
Gumball: I don’t remember my name. There’s no memory of mine left. He’s changed everything!
[Gumball sees a memory of the arcade]
Gumball: Wait! Apart from the time I actually won something.
Game: You win!
[Zach blocks Gumball's path]
Gumball: Not this time, Zach. I’ve already won this.
Zach: But what name did you type?
Gumball: Oh, man. It’s only three letters in the top score.
Zach: “Z-A-C”. It fits perfectly.
Gumball: What do I go with - “GUM" or “BAL”? That’s it - Gumball.
Zach: Forget it. I’m the boss of this game. I know all the combos.
Gumball: But the combos are useless against button mashing!
[Gumball forges through, past Zach, and types in GUM onto the game. It expands to say GUMBALL. Zach begins to fade away.]
Zach: Ahhhh!
[Gumball farts and awakens, then rushes to write his name.]
Richard: He’s back! Come on! Gumball me!
Paper Woman: You know, you could have just filled this out on the interne-
[The episode ends.]

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