FANDOM


Open to a shot of the Gravity Falls Cemetery with a partly cloudy sky, and a star-shaped cloud. Dipper, Mabel, Wendy, Nate, Tambry, Lee and Thompson are watching the sky and pointing at clouds.
Mabel Whoa! That cloud looks like a chipmunk!!! (points to a cloud shaped like an animal. An airplane flies out of it's "mouth")
Wendy Barfing an airplane. (everyone laughs)
Dipper It does.
Thompson (points to a waffle-shaped cloud) Uh, that looks like...uh, a cloud!
Lee Boo!
Wendy Thompson, stop being the worst at everything.
Thompson (Chuckles) Sorry guys. (all laugh)
Mabel Look at the clouds! Ooh! That cloud looks like a big heart-shaped balloon!
Dipper Clouds don't come in colors. That is a balloon.
Wendy Oh dude! It's the Woodstick festival.
Dipper Wait, the wood what?
Wendy It's this annual outdoor concert featuring Oregon's up and coming indie bands.
Tambry (Wendy takes Tambry's cell-phone out of her hands.) Hey!
Wendy flips through several images of the bands.
Wendy They're all coming! Scarves Indoors, Wood Grain on Everything, The Love God! You've probably seen him in that viral video.
Love God

(in video)

Who's ready to fall in love tonight? (The crow cheers. He stumbles into the camera) Woah! Ow! I hope nobody's filming this!
Dipper Whoa! Like a real concert concert? I've never actually been to one of those before. (brushes elbow)
Wendy That's because you've never had an awesome crew to roll with before! (she points at Nate, Lee, Tambry and Thompson sitting together. Thompson is holding a dirty sponge.)
Lee Come on, Thompson!
Lee and Nate Lick that sponge! Lick that sponge!
Thompson (Groans and licks a dirty sponge.)
Lee, Nate, and Mabel (laughing) Oh!
Nate Can't believe he's doing it!
Lee (laughs) What are you doing man?
Wendy When you're with us, you're in! (points at Dipper)
Groaning is heard. The gang look worried. A flock of ravens chirp and fly away from branches.
Nate, Lee and Thomspon (gasp)
Mabel Ghosty sounds! Cemetery ghosty sounds! (shakes Dipper)
Wendy It's coming from that open grave.
Nate You look! (elbows Lee)
Lee No, you look! (elbows Nate)
Dipper Thompson, go look.
Nate Heh. Nice use of Thompson.
Lee (Pushes Thompson toward grave.)
Thompson (Peers into grave, worried.) Ugh...
Everyone (chanting) Gaze upon death! Gaze upon death!
Thompson (Screams. Lightning flashes.)
Cut to theme song.
Tambry Ugh! It's even creepier than I expected.
Robbie (Robbie groans) Why did she leave me?
Wendy Robbie?
Robbie Wendy! Oh. Uh. (Nervous chuckle) Hey. What's up? Just hanging out in this grave, you know. Regular. Regular day for me.
Nate Woah, dude. We haven't seen you in, like, months. Where have you been?
Wendy You're not still mourning our break up. Are you?
Robbie What? No way! (Hides picture of Wendy)
Wendy Robbie, we split up forever ago. It's really sweet you'd throw yourself into a grave for me but, man, time to move on.
Robbie Huh, what? I'm totally moved on. (Cell phone rings)
(Cell Phone) Wendy, I miss you so much. I'll never move on. Never ever. (Robbie throws phone onto headstone)
Robbie That was a different Wendy. Unrelated Wendy.
Nate (to Lee) Dude, this is getting really awkward.
Tambry Yeah, the cemetery used to be fun, now it's just depressing.
Robbie (sighs) (Throws dirt on head)
Mabel Wait! You guys! He's in pain. We can't just ditch him here.
Dipper Come on, Mabel. It's Robbie.
Mabel But he's suffering. How can I be happy if I know someone else is sad? It totally throws off my happiness chart.
Dipper Mabel, trust me. If there's one thing I've learned this summer, it's not to get mixed up in needless romantic drama. (Whispering) Besides, we're finally in with Wendy's friends. With Robbie gone, there's a good social balance. Maybe we should let the good thing be, you know.
Robbie (to vulture) Just eat me already, man. (Vulture skwaks and attacks) Ah! I was just being dramatic! Quit it! Ow! Ow! My face! Vulture!
Wendy Oh, man. I'm sorry you guys had to see that.
Mabel You know what Robbie needs? A new girl! Romance is like gum. Once it's lost its flavor, you just cram another one in. (Chews wad of gum)
Wendy Mabel, it's not that easy.
Mabel It is if you're the world's greatest matchmaker! I've never had an unhappy customer. Like Soos and Melody.
Soos Watch this. Walking down some actual stairs. (Melody giggles). Did it look cool?
Melody (giggles) The coolest.
Mabel Match made! And then, of course, there's Waddles and Gompers. (wedding music and bleating) Match made!
Wendy That might work for a goat and a pig, but Robbie's a hopeless case.
Mabel Hopeless case, ehhh?
Stan (sing-songy) Putting a rainbow wig on a big white gorilla. What the...? Oh no. Hot air balloons. Fixed gear bikes.
Woodstick attendee (singing) Singing by the open road. My sandals are so open toed.
Stan Folk music! It's the Woodstick Festival! Soos! Lock down the shack and hide my shirts before anyone tie-dyes them! They're slow. I could probably take a few down.
Soos Wait, Mr. Pines! (bird caws) I've been thinking. Every year this festival comes by and every year you shun what could be potential customers.
Stan You really think I could make money off of these free-loading, kale-munching freak shows?
Soos You just gotta figure out what appeals to them.
Stan Hmm. How do I appeal to young people? So young people are into hot air balloons, ehh?
Mabel All right, Mabel. Robbie's a broken teacup and you're going to piece him back together. (rings doorbell) Okay, this could get intense. (gasps)
Mr. Valentino Howdy do!
Mrs. Valentino Happy day!
Mabel It is intense. You're Robbie's parents? I always thought he was, like, raised by sad wolves or something.
Mr. Valentino Oh, well, he doesn't like to talk about us. He always says we're too cheerful for funeral directors. (both laugh) Come in. Come in.
Mr. Valentino Cracker platter?
Mabel Oh, no time for crackers, sorry. I'm here to cheer Robbie up. Cannot have a dry cracker mouth for that.
Mrs. Valentino Robbie Stacey Valentino! There's a little girl here to see you. You go on up. And could you bring him his lunch?
Mabel Lady, I like your style (giggles)
Mrs. Valentino You know who would look good in a sweater like that? Mrs. Grabelson's remains.
Mr. Valentino Oh, absolutely!
Mabel (knocks on door) Robbie! It's Mabel!
Robbie Who?
Mabel Remember me? I'm like girl Dipper!
Robbie Ugh, go away!
Mabel I heard a come in!
Robbie Agh, hey! Listen, kid. Nobody in the Pines family is welcome here. In case you forgot, your stupid brother is the one who ruined my life!
Mabel And Mabel's the one who's gonna fix it. Listen, Robbie, I always used to see you as a creepy jerk. Like the human version of rat poison.
Robbie Uh, go on.
Mabel But when I saw you in the cemetery today, I realized, Robbie's not a bad guy. He's just a heartbroken soul who needs love and gloves with fingers.
Robbie Hey, fingerless gloves look awesome!
Mabel No they don't. Robbie, you just need a good matchmaker. I guarantee I'll find you true love or twice your sadness back.
Robbie (Sighs) If I say yes, will you leave my room?
Mabel I guarantee it.
Mabel (cracks knuckles) Okay, Gravity Falls, who wants to go out with Robbie? Okay. Lazy Susan? Too old. Grenda, too young. Multi-Bear? I'm putting you in the maybe pile. Who could it be? Who could it be? (bleating and squealing from Wompers) What's that Wompers? Someone we already know? But who could possibly be superficial and gothy enough for-- (Squeals) Of course, that's it! You two really are America's favorite power couple.
Lee and Nate More snacks! More snacks!
Thompson I'm just happy to be included-- (muffled speech)
Wendy Ha! This is brilliant. The perfect way to sneak cheap snacks into the concert. And it was all Dipper's idea.
Lee and Nate Woo! Nice.
Wendy (audio only) Well done.
Nate Ideas!
Lee Kid, I sense greatness in you.
Dipper (Chuckles) Oh, well, I don't know about---
Lee Greatness!
Wendy All right, now everyone go home and finish getting ready for the concert.
Nate Hey, don't wait up, Tambers.
Tambry Don't call me Tambers.
Nate Ha ha. Classic Tambers.
Tambry (reading text) Tambry, You. Me. Date. Bring that sweet, sweet bod. Your secret admirer.
Mabel Love is about to happen, Lazy Susan. Watch and learn.
Tambry (Bell rings). Ugh, Robbie? You're my secret admirer?
Robbie Tambry? Ugh, this is just what I get for trusting a toddler. Listen, I don't think this is gonna work out. Dating somebody I already know? It's kinda like admitting defeat.
Tambry Um, way to assume I'm even interested.
Robbie Tambry, let's be real. If I wanted to date you I would have done it already. I'm just a little out of your league. Woah, is that mustard? Don't want to waste that bad boy.
Tambry Status update. On blind date with sociopath.
Robbie Oh, sure, bring out the phone. Classic Tambers. Hey can I get some chili fries? To go.
Mabel What? How is this possible? I'm supposed to be the best matchmaker ever.
Greasy's Diner Patrons (chattering: Let's go. It's him.)
Love God Woo-hoo! Who's ready to fall in love tonight?
Patrons Love God! (all cheering)
Love God That's what they call me. We're rewritting history tonight, and it starts with you and you. Love is real and it's in your face! (Chuckles) What's your name, you little angel?
Meredith (Chuckles) Meredith
Love God (in a hurried whisper) Meredith, Meredith. We got a problem. That cutie right there is your soul mate and you're living without him.
Meredith Oh, no. What do I do?
Love God Get it, girl. You know what you love. Pow! Match made! (Meredith laughs)
Mabel I must know how this works. Hi. Love god? Mabel here. Big fan. Can I just say, that was some of the finest matchmaking I've ever seen? Can you please, please tell me your secret?
Love God Well, between you and me, let's just say my name's not exactly a coincidence.
Mabel Oh. My. Love God. Are you an actual love god?
Love God Call me a cherub. The internet pretty much does my job for me nowadays so I'm taking time to focus on my rock career. Boom. Cassette. Boom. For you.
Mabel Oh! That's... great. So, anyway. Can you make anything fall in love? Like that snake and that badger? (hissing and growling)
Love God Hmm, ah gee, I dunno. That might be kinda hard to--Kaboom! Match made!
Mabel They're gonna make a snadger. How are you doing that?
Love God Love potion, yo. I got it all. Summer love. Young love. Anti love. You just gotta put a little on your fingers and pow!
Mabel I need that potion. How much would it cost? And will you accept squirrels as payment?
Love God Woah. No way. You might think you know what's best for people but this stuff can have major social consequences. That's why it can only be used by a serious expert.
Woman Love God! Sign my face!
Love God Only if you sign mine, baby. Let's get weird!
Mabel Shh. Mind if I add a little something to these fries?
Chef I don't see why not.
Robbie Woah. Did your whole thing suddenly get a lot more likeable?
Tambry You don't seem as needy as I used to think you were.
Robbie Hey, you wouldn't wanna maybe get outta here and, I don't know, go kiss in public a lot?
Tambry For some reason, I do. Status update. You know what? Forget it. Maybe I should stare at something other than my phone for a while.
Mabel Match made!
Wendy All right. Who's ready for the best and most overpriced day of our summer?! (Thompson, Dipper, Lee and Nate cheer)
Thompson I brought a baggie of trail mix and safety whistles, in case we get separated.
Dipper (clearing throat) Lame. (Lee and Nate laugh)
Lee This kid is a champion.
Nate We're just waiting on Tambry. Can't leave without Tambry.
Mabel Sorry, guys, but Tambry's a little busy at the moment. Wink. Wink.
Nate What does that mean? Why are you winking?
Mabel Let's just say she and Robbie took a trip to Smoochville. Now everyone's happy.
Nate Wait. Wait. Robbie and Tambry? This can't be happening.
Mabel How's that?
Nate He knew I liked her! How could he do this?
Lee Woah, hold it. You like Tambry and you told Robbie but not me?
Nate You always make fun of my crushes, man.
Lee That's what we do, genius.
Wendy Oh, oh! This is so like Tambry to do this. Date my ex behind my back. I'm gonna tear her highlights out.
Dipper Guys, guys. Calm down. We're gonna be late for the concert.
Nate Uh, news flash, kid. I'm not going to the concert. Not with him.
Lee Hey, that won't be a problem 'cus I'm out.
Wendy Me, too!
Thompson Wait! Wait! This group is all I have! Don't make me go back to having no friends! Guys!
Mabel Match made?
Thompson Wait, guys. Don't go! Not my mailbox!
Nate Ugh. Ow!
Thompson (growls) What did you just do? I've let these guys pick on me for years to keep this group together. And now they've totally fallen apart.
Dipper But we were all starting to finally hang out together. I was one of the gang.
Thompson Well, unless you can break up Robbie and Tambry immediately, there is no gang. I have no more friends and neither do you. I'm gonna to eat this.
Dipper Mabel, what did I tell you about staying out of Robbie's personal life?
Mabel I know, I know. I just wanted to be a good matchmaker. I never should have gotten that love potion from the Love God.
Dipper Wait, love potion? If you did a spell, then can't you, like, undo it?
Mabel (gasps) That's it! If I undo the spell then everyone will be friends again! But I'm gonna need your help. Also, you are not pulling off that v-neck.
Dipper (dejected) I know.
Mabel Burn it!
Man in hot air balloon Woah! Ha ha!
Stan Balloon faster, Soos. We need this thing up in the air before the festival ends.
Soos Are you sure that that open flame should be that close to that dangling cloth and rope?
Stan I'm sure about everything. Now lube up those engine gears with some kerosene! More kerosene!
Thompson Uh! Come back, guys! Come on. The tickets were a hundred bucks. I sold my watch. You gotta come to the concert.
Wendy Ew, and have to look at that? No, thanks.
Dipper Ugh, they're doing that couple hug walk. Guys you're in public! People can see you!
Mabel (whispering) Dipper, come on.
Man Love God. Sound check for Love God.
Love God Ow. Let's make some miracles happen. Groupies, bed-head me. (Chuckles) Love God's about to get crazy. (Stumbles) Woa. Hey. Alright.
Mabel Now's our chance. Here we go. Let's see. Puppy-love. Interspecies love. Love of country music. Ew. Oh! Anti-love! To reverse the effects of love potion simply spray on your victim and watch their heart die on the inside.
Dipper Sounds good to me.
Love God Hey! You're the one who's been stealing my stuff. I am not loving this.
Mabel I'm sorry, but I made a mistake and I have to fix it.
Love God Kid, I tried to tell you. This stuff is way too dangerous. On my oath as a God I cannot let you--oh hey, where'd you just go?
Mabel I'm sorry Love God! But it's for the good of my friends.
Love God Come back here!
Mabel Dipper catch!
Love God Get those kids!
The Handlebar Bros Halt! We mustache you to move.
Dipper Good one.
Mabel Ooh! Thank you
Dipper Agh! No, no, no. Everyone is touching everything!
Love God Give me back that potion. Oh, hey, what's up? Here, have a cassette. Dang it. Fly, tiny wings! Get up there! Oh. I haven't had to use these in a long time.
Mabel Dipper. Look. Just one clean shot to the back of their heads and everything's fixed.
Love God Sorry, kids, but you've left me no choice. Visions of heartbreak past!
Gabe We're back Mabel.
Sev'ral Timez (singing) We like you now.
Boy from Tourist Trapped Yes. Definitely. Absolutely!
Dipper Ugh. Ha! You really think we'd fall for that?
Mabel (giggles) Sure you can all marry me. Oh, guy from the $10 bill. I forgot I had a crush on you.
Dipper Dang it, Mabel. They're not real.
Mermando Just give us the bottle, Mabel.
Dipper Mabel don't!
Stan It's finally done. When these idiots see this balloon, they'll understand that I love young people. I heart kids. All right. Let 'er rip.
Soos Oh no! A letter rip!
Stan What the H?!
Crowd (chatter) (screaming)
Teen 1 I eat kids? But we're kids
Teen 2 It's heaven's punishment for our terrible taste in everything.
Charlie Mommy, is the floating head going to eat us?
Charlie's Mother Yes, Charlie. Yes he will.
Dipper Mabel it's a trick. Don't give him the--
Love God Gotcha!
Mabel Ugh! Curse my over-sized heart.
Love God Sorry, kids, but that's what happens when you mess with a god. Only a greater being from the heavens themselves could could possibly stop-- (crowd screaming)
Man It's coming down!
Love God Woah!
Mr. Valentino Oh, no. I hope someone didn't die.
Mrs. Valentino Yes, that would be awful. (both laughing)
Stan What's everybody crying about? In my day zeppelins fell from the sky like raindrops.
Man It's him! The horrible old man from the sky! (people shrieking)
Stan You know what? Being loved by the youth is overrated. Being feared, now that's priceless.
Dipper Love God? Are you okay?
Mabel Please be immortal. Please be immortal.
Love God (gasps) Dude. I am so over this.
Announcer Love God to the stage. Love God to the stage.
Love God Agh, look kid. Take it, okay. Spray everyone for all I care. You wanna mess with peoples' lives? You wanna play God? Do it. 'Cus I'm sick of it. Medic! I need onion rings...
Dipper Okay, Mabel. Now's our chance. They break up and the whole friend group gets back together.
Robbie Mabel! Mabel, I just wanted to thank you. I've been so miserable since Wendy broke up with me that I thought my life was over. But you were right. I just needed to move on. I'm...happy? Weird, huh.
Tambry Robbie, people are commenting on our picture.
Mabel Dipper, maybe we shouldn't do this. I mean, every time we play with peoples' fates it's only made things worse.
Dipper They are kinda perfect for each other in a gross kinda way. But what about our friend group?
Mabel Well, maybe it'll sort itself out. I mean, there's gotta be something that could bring everyone back together.
Thompson Guys, I made a friendship cake. So let's all get over this, okay? My cake!
Security Guard Hey! Food from the outside! (Thompson screaming) Get him!
Lee Woah! Hey, look!
Wendy Is that Thompson?
(Whistle blowing and Thompson grunting) (group chuckling)
Nate Yeah, fight the machine Thompson.
Wendy Throw snacks at 'em.
Robbie Use jerky as a weapon!
Nate Thompson!
All Thompson!
Mabel I think every just might be all right.
Dipper Maybe someone up there really is a genius matchmaker.
Thompson All according to plan. Aah!
(Singing) A goat and a pig. A couple of livestock living their lives stuck together in harmony. A pig and a goat, showing the world that a pig and a goat can be family. Love's so strong, love's so big. Such a beautiful goat and a pig. Bound in matrimony now and forever. Shopping for groceries and buying a condo and filing their taxes together. Goat and a pig, goat and a pig.

Ad blocker interference detected!


Wikia is a free-to-use site that makes money from advertising. We have a modified experience for viewers using ad blockers

Wikia is not accessible if you’ve made further modifications. Remove the custom ad blocker rule(s) and the page will load as expected.