[Masami starts to snow. Behind her, Idaho tastes her snow, but they taste bad and he spits the snow out. Gumball tries pressing a button on the streetlight to switch it from stop to go]
Gumball: Come on, come on!
Darwin: Do something, I'm melting here.
Gumball: Oh come on. Don't exaggerate...
Billy: One ice cream please, good sir.
Larry: Since you're such a polite boy and you guys are my last customers, this one's on the house.
[He gives Billy an ice cream]
Billy: Mother, is it not ironic we get free food when clearly we could afford to pay for it?
[Billy and his mother laugh. Gumball gapes at them]
Gumball: That's it, I'm crossing!
[As soon as Gumball sets foot on the street, the Doughnut Sheriff arrives in his car, and steps out. He holds his hand as if holding a handgun]
Doughnut Sheriff: Freeze, you hoodlums!
Gumball: What for?
Doughnut Sheriff: Jaywalking.
Gumball: Aw. Give us a break man! We just wanted an ice cream.
[The ice cream truck leaves. Gumball and Darwin are dismayed]
Doughnut Sheriff: I don't care! You're getting a ticket.
Gumball: Aw man. Really?
Doughnut Sheriff: I'm sorry. But that's the law, kid. Crime is a slippery slope. If I turn a blind eye on the smallest misdemeanor, before you know it the whole society falls apart. Especially in this heat.
Gumball: Hmm. Well I understand you're a cop, I mean it's obviously not your job to be cool.
Doughnut Sheriff: What do you mean 'not cool'? All kids think cops are cool.
Darwin: Not really.
Gumball: Yeah, we're more into privileged rap stars who pretend to be hardcore.
Doughnut Sheriff: That is ridiculous. Cops are cool! That's what I wanted to be when I was a kid.
[Gumball and Darwin suck in their breath. The sheriff opens the door of his car]
Doughnut Sheriff: Okay, get in the car. I'll show you.
Gumball: Hold on. [Starts struggling]
Doughnut Sheriff: What are you doing?
Gumball: We're just pretending to be handcuffed. Sorry, I just don't want anyone to think we're friends with you.
[They get in the car]
Gumball: I WANT MY PHONE CALL! Do you mind pushing my head down? THERE'S NO JAIL THAT CAN HOLD ME!
Doughnut Sheriff: Just get in.
[Then the sheriff drives away.]
Billy: Mother, you think it could be the heat that drove those two poor urchins to crime?
Doughnut Sheriff: You're not handcuffed, and he doesn't have a nose.
Gumball: Oh, yeah right. Uh [Frees himself] So, what's so cool about being a cop?
Doughnut Sheriff: Well... I file a lot of reports; I write parking tickets; I stop for lunch; I give some people directions; I file some more reports; I write some parking tickets; I make a report on all the reports I've filed.
[Gumball and Darwin jump out of the car. The sheriff stops driving]
Gumball: Sorry, you were so boring and we thought the car was moving and uh… I didn't expect to have to explain this. Uh please continue.
Doughnut Sheriff: [Sigh] Help me out here, guys! What do I have to do to prove to you that cops are cool?
[Still in the police car, the Doughnut Sheriff and the boys hide in an alley. Mrs. Wilson passes by, and notices something on the ground. As she bends down to pick it over, the sheriff blasts his car's siren, scaring Mrs. Wilson sky high (literally). Gumball, Darwin and the sheriff laugh]
Gumball: See? It's not that hard having a good time. All you have to do is-
[He is interrupted by Mr. Small falling on the car's hood]
Gumball: Oh shoot! They're coming back down. Lets bail!
[More people fall down as the sheriff drives away from the alley. He passes by some boxes]
Gumball: Oh wait! You forgot to drive through the boxes.
Doughnut Sheriff: Oh yeah. I always wanted to do that.
[He drives through them, and continues out into the road. Gumball, Darwin laugh along with him]
Gumball: So, what other cool stuff can you do?
Doughnut Sheriff: I can commandeer any vehicle I want.
Doughnut Sheriff: Anything.
[Scene shows him with Gumball and Darwin riding a kiddy ride rocket]
Gumball: Eh I can't complain. It is a spaceship.
Doughnut Sheriff: I can make it more interesting.
[The sheriff pulls out a taser, and tasers the ride. The kiddy rocket suddenly goes wild, and swings to and fro rapidly]
Gumball: [Panics] Oh my gosh! Oh it hurts!
[The ride comes to a halt. Gumball's face is physically blurred and distorted. The sheriff laughs while Gumball catches his breath. Then Rosie walks by them]
Darwin: Wow, I forgot you guys had those. What else can you do with them?
Doughnut Sheriff: Well…
[A montage of him using his taser on various objects (including Bobert starts. First, the sheriff uses it on a soda machine, and gets free soda. After they get their soda, the machine malfunctions and starts shooting soda cans. Next, the sheriff uses his taser on Bobert, making him dance. Later on, the sheriff accidentally activates Bobert's combat mode, and Bobert starts attacking Gumball and Darwin. The Doughnut Sheriff uses it on more things, even on another taser]
Doughnut Sheriff, Gumball and Darwin: Hahahahaha- [Falls down, silent]
[The Doughnut Sheriff speeds through the road while Gumball and Darwin scream. He laughs maniacally again, and ignores a red traffic light]
Gumball: It's light it's light it's red!
[Two cars bump into each other. The Sheriff begins to drive off the road, barely hitting pedestrians in the way. Gumball and Darwin start panicking]
Darwin: [Grunts] I don't want to be a bust to you but-uh isn't all this a bit too much?
Gumball: I think what Darwin is politely trying to say is HAVE YOU LOST YOUR GOSHDARN MIND!?
Doughnut Sheriff: [Laughs]
[He drives through some mailboxes. Fortunately, none are hit]
Doughnut Sheriff: Darn. I missed every single one of them.
[He reverses the car, mowing through them in a straight line. He drives on the road again]
Gumball: Dude, I know you just want to show you're cool. But we're still (???)
[The sheriff ignores a speed limit sign telling him to go at 50 mph. As he passes by, it falls down]
Gumball: When you drive with your eyes closed, and your hands in the air too!
Doughnut Sheriff: Ah, great idea! [Drives with eyes closed and hands in air]
Doughnut Sheriff: Whoohoo!
[He drives on the wrong lane, and barely hits other cars and people going the opposite direction]
Darwin: No. NO! He was trying to use reverse psychology!
Doughnut Sheriff: Did someone say reverse!?
[The sheriff reverses the car, and drives backwards. The car flies off a speed bump, and a speed camera takes a snapshot of the car's bottom. They continue driving, no longer reversed. Gumball takes his paws (with claws stuck on the dashboard) off it]
Gumball: Please I'm begging you. Someone's gonna get hurt unless you stop breaking the law!
Doughnut Sheriff: Don't worry kid, nothing can happen. I AM THE LAW! [Laughs hysterically]
[He speeds up the car. Then spotting a baby carriage and the Lizard Woman in the middle of the road, he steps on the brakes and screeches to a halt. The car stops in time, but bumps the carriage. This sends a piece of trash flying from the baby stroller]
Gumball: Oh thank gosh it's the old stroller-full-of-trash trick.
[The piece of trash hits a live baby in another stroller (from a distance), making it cry]
[Scene switches to the Elmore police station as the Chicken Bucket reprimands the Doughnut Sheriff, Gumball and Darwin]
Chicken Bucket: Misuse of your police siren, unlawful discharge of your weapon! Absolute disregard for traffic lights and grand theft auto, assault with a motorized vehicle! BABY BASHING!? My sand castle's got a jelly bone here, and there's no one to scoop out the dice! I'm blowing a foghorn, but the only thing coming out of it is hot foam! AM I MAKING MYSELF CLEAR!?
Gumball: Nnnnnnn-not really.
Chicken Bucket: I'm taking your badges.
Darwin: We don't work for the police.
Chicken Bucket: Oh. [To Sheriff] Then I'm taking your badge. YOU'RE FIRED!
[Gumball, Darwin and the sheriff sit on a bench by the road. Across them is the ice cream truck again, with the Orange Woman and Billy (both with ice creams)]
Doughnut Sheriff: [Groans] What is wrong with me?
Gumball: Don't blame yourself, man. Maybe it was the heat.
Darwin: By 'heat', you mean 'you' Gumball.
Gumball: Hey! You're the one who said he was about as cool as world music.
Darwin: I did.
Doughnut Sheriff: That's alright kid, it's true.
Gumball: No it isn't! [Jumps off bench] Wait, yeah it is. [Sits again] But who will protect our freedom? Who will make sure-
Darwin: [Hums a heroic tune]
Gumball: -that society doesn't fall apart? Who will keep the streets safe for every man, woman and child? Who will make sure that we never lose control of our destiny? Not the cool hero we want but the petty, uptight, and boring-
Darwin: [Continues heroic tune]
Gumball: [Stares and crosses arms]
Darwin: [Continues heroic tune, then stops]
Gumball: [To Sheriff] You need to get your job back.
Darwin: [Makes short tune]
Doughnut Sheriff: [Sighs] No. I don't have it in me.
Gumball: [Walks to side of the road] Well, what if someone were to…jaywalk?
Doughnut Sheriff: Eh, wouldn't matter.
Gumball: Wouldn't it? I remember a certain pastry who once told me that if one "turns a blind eye on the smallest misdemeanor, before you know it the whole of society falls apart"
[Once Gumball sets one toe on the road, the Orange Woman loses it]
Orange Woman: Really? Jaywalking right in front of the police, isn't there any law left around this town!?
Orange Woman: Well if that's the way it is, why should I pay for this ice cream, huh? Why don't I just help myself!? Why don't I just take a whole darn truck!
[She jumps into the truck, and beats up Larry. Then after throwing him out, she drives away]
Orange Woman: WHY DON'T I JUST UPSET WHO I LIKE!? '[Continues raging]
Orange Woman: I mean since there is obviously no law in this town, why don't I take a nice drive right through the park! Why don't I just keep on driving until I RUN someone OVER!
[Mr. and Mrs. Wilson jump out of her way. Gumball, Darwin and the Doughnut Sheriff chase after her]
Gumball: We need a vehicle.
Darwin: There! [Points to some bikes near a baby stroller]
[The scene switches to the Doughnut Sheriff on the stroller being pushed by Gumball and Darwin]
Gumball: Is this really the best you can do!?
Doughnut Sheriff: Just step on it. Put the siren on.
Darwin: [Imitates siren]
Orange Woman: [Drives through fleeing people] COMPLETE DISREGARD FOR EVERYONE'S HEALTH AND SAFETY! Why don't I just-!
[The sheriff is catching up to her. Darwin continues imitating a police siren as they continue pursuing her]
Orange Woman: [Drives by Neck Beard] GET OUT OF THE WAY DOUGHBOY!
Gumball: Watch out!
Neck Beard: No! I've had it with people using their strollers like weapons to push people out of their way for one stupid go- [Gets knocked down by stroller]
Orange Woman: Why don't I run over this beautiful swan, and get people who dare complain- [Continues rambling]
Doughnut Sheriff: Pull over!
Orange Woman: [Continues rambling] -about my complete disregard for mother nature!
Doughnut Sheriff: Pull over lady! [Rams truck]
Orange Woman: [Rams back]
[They both separate as a tree comes in their way. The Orange Woman speeds up]
Doughnut Sheriff: She's headed for the gate!
[They both exit the park, with the sheriff and the boys smashing through one side of the gate]
Doughnut Sheriff: Okay. She asked for this. Get behind her!
[They get the sheriff behind the truck, and they execute the PIT maneuver. The truck screeches to its side, and rolls repeatedly over until coming to a stop in front of the police station. All its ice cream spills out, attracting the Chicken Bucket]
Chicken Bucket: Wicked! Ice cream truck.
Doughnut Sheriff: Commissioner, look out!
[The Orange Woman comes out, and holds the Chicken Bucket at ice cream cone-point, threatening to use deadly force with it]
Orange Woman: Don't move! You should have done your job when you had the chance. One more step, and the commissioner kicks his own bucket!
Chicken Bucket: Please don't! I have a wife, and three nuggets to feed.
Gumball: [Quietly] Uh man, do something!
Doughnut Sheriff: I can't! I can't think of any lame puns, and I'm not a cop anymore.
Chicken Bucket: Yes. Yes you are! [Throws badge]
[As the badge flies to the Doughnut Sheriff in slow motion, Gumball and Darwin make a tune with their mouths. The sheriff holds out a hand, only for one of the star badge's points to dig into his hand. Regardless he puts it back on, and starts throwing ice cream at the Orange Woman (with Gumball and Darwin making tunes every time he throws a cone). The sheriff repeatedly misses until one of his throws finally takes down the Orange Woman]