(Scene opens up showing Lake Nose. The Flynn-Fletcher car drives by)
Phineas: We're here!
Lawrence: Ah, Lake Nose.
Linda: This is just what i needed. A nice, relaxing family getaway.
Lawrence: Such beauty, such tranquility. A fisherman's paradise. Yes, of all the lakes in the world, I'm glad we picked the Nose.
(Phineas, Ferb and Candace laugh)
Linda: That's charming, dear.
Candace: (Looks out the car window) I still can't believe I get to be on the Lake Nose lifeguard squad with Jeremy. The lifeguards at Lake Nose are considered the coolest of the cool. All the other kids look up to them and have to do whatever they say.
Phineas: (With a Lake Nose guide) Or they'll get eaten.
Candace: Exactly. I-- Wait, what?
Phineas: It says here "Many believe these murky waters are home to Nosey, the ferocious Lake Nose Monkey".
Candace: (Laughs) Nosey? Yeah, I'm so sure. There is no such thing as a Lake Nose Monkey. Right, Dad?
Lawrence: Well, Candace there's no such thing as lots of things, and there's such thing as many other things. (Spins the steering wheel) Is Nosey such a thing? (The car stops turning) Well, you see, that's the thing, isn't it?
Candace: Dad, is this one of those cultural things again? Because I'm not sure they'd even know what the heck you're talking about in England.
(At Lake Nose, Linda, Lawrence and Candace are unpacking their stuff)
Phineas: Ooh! It's possible Nosey has survived (Camera zooms in on him) because Lake Nose is unusually rich in zinc, a common metal used in everything from sunblock to pennies. Cool.
Candace: Oh, of course! Nosey the vicious zinc-eating dinosaur. Now it makes perfect sense! Thank you, crazy people I live with!
Phineas: It doesn't say "Eats it". He probably just absorbs it through his skin. (Camera pans to him) Ooh, look! (Flips the guide) They have pictures of him.
Candace: (Reading the guide) Elephant, log, dolphin, driftwood, tire, driftwood, rhesus monster wearing a powdered wig, driftwood, driftwood, you aren't old enough to know what that is, driftwood, driftwood, it's usually driftwood. (Camera zooms out) So don't go humiliating me by, I don't know, building some boat (Picks up luggage cases) to find the Lake Nose Monster or something.
Phineas: Huh. Some boat to find the Lake Nose Monkey (Camera zooms in on Phineas and Ferb) or something. (At Ferb) Ferb, are you not saying what I'm thinking? (Pause. The camera zooms out) Hey, where's Perry?
(Perry goes by the lake. His wrist communicator beeps)
Wrist communicator: Log in.
(A log boat sails to Perry. Perry hops into the boat, and sails to a cave with a sign that says "Danger! Keep out" sign. The sign opens up, and Perry sails into the cave)
(Log boat beeping)
Animatronic Animals: ♪ You're gonna get a mission ♪
♪ A mission, a mission ♪
♪ A brand-new mission ♪
♪ What's it gonna be? ♪
♪ Go and get your mission ♪
♪ Your mission, your mission ♪
♪ A brand-new mission ♪
♪ We can't wait to see! ♪
Wrist communicator: Log out.
(At the lair)
(Perry exits the log)
Carl: Exit to your left, Agent P.
Major Monogram: Good morning, Agent P. I hope you enjoyed Lair Entrance: The Ride. The agency wanted to make coming into work more exciting. It was either that or a huge bonus check.
Major Monogram: Well, in focus group tests, 6-year-olds overwhelming preferred singing animals to a piece of paper with numbers on it, so I-- (Clears throat) Anyway, your mission: We've tracked Dr. Doofenshmirtz here to Lake Nose where we intercepted part of this phone call.
(Monitor switches to the phone call)
Operator: I'm sorry, sir. We do not deliver our hot wings to the bottom of a lake.
Doofenshmirtz: Aw come on! I'll tip 15%!
(Screen switches back to Major Monogram)
Major Monogram: Our analysts agree: Evil, chicken wings, underwater, 15%. It's a recipe for disaster. It's up to you to stop him, Agent P.
(Back at Lake Nose...)
Phineas: (At the dock with a boat) I think we're all set to get definitive proof that Nosey really exists.
Candace: (Walks onto the dock wearing lifeguard uniform) All right, what are you two up to?
Phineas: We've just built a boat to find the Lake Nose Monkey.
Candace: What? Didn't I specifically tell you not to do specifically, exactly just that?
Phineas: Actually, specifically, you said not to humiliate you by doing that. So we won't!
Candace: Mom! Quick, I caught them red-handed!
Linda: (Walks onto the dock) What is going on out here?
Candace: All right, so where is it?
Phineas: Where is what?
Candace: The giant Lake Nose Monster search boat you made!
Phineas: You mean Nosebud? She's right there.
Linda: You boys made this? I'm very impressed!
Linda: Well, look! They made a boat. It's actually waterproof and everything. That's pretty cool!
Linda: Okay, Candace. If you're so worried... (Calls out) Honey!
Lawrence: (Dashes to the dock) Yes, dear?
Linda: Can you please go out on the lake with the boys to make sure they don't get into any trouble?
Lawrence: (Chuckles) Well... (Dashes off and comes back wearing fishing gear) If I must. (Camera zooms into him) Well, who knows? I might even be persuaded to tell a few of my world-famous fishing stories.
Candace: Well, I guess that's kind of a punishment. But come on, Mom, that's all you're gonna do?
Linda: Right, what was I thinking? (Holds up a bottle of sunblock) Here! Don't forget to use plenty of sunblock.
Phineas: Look! Zinc.
Linda: Sweetie, aren't you gonna be late for your first lifeguard shift?
Candace: All right, give me some zinc.
(At the beach)
Candace: (While carrying a surfboard) Okay, be cool and confident. Cool and confident. Hey, Jeremy! (Jazzy music plays) So, what do you think?
Jeremy: You look great!
Captain: So, you're the famous Candace Flynn? (Pulls out his hand) Bob Webber.
Candace: (Shakes hands) Thanks for the lifeguard job, Mr. Webber.
Bob: "Mr. Webber"? Pshaw! Mr. Webber's my father. Call me "Captain Webber".
Candace: Uh, okay.
Bob: (Snaps his fingers) Okay! You two take care of my beach now.
Bob: (Snaps his fingers) Okay! And watch out for Nosey! (Laughs)
Candace and Jeremy: (Feign chuckle) Uh, okay.
(Out at Lake Nose)
Bob: (Snaps his fingers) (Echoing) Okay!
Lawrence: ...So he said, "Try ignoring it and hope it goes away. (Camera zooms into them) And you know what? It did. After 17 weeks.
Phineas: Wow, Dad, great story. (Ferb raises his hand and Phineas puts it down) Uh, we're gonna start our search for Nosey now, okay?
Bob: (Snaps his fingers) (Echoing) Okay!
Lawrence: Oh, did I ever tell you boys about the time I caught the infamous Big Mouth Ramon?
Lawrence: Splendid! Then I'll set the scene: (Phineas and Ferb stand onto a circle spot which is an elevator. The elevator goes down) A chilly April morning, 1980. (As he speaks the elevator descends) Disco was on the way out and it had just begun to dawn on everybody they looked absolutely ridiculous in every photo taken of them in... (The elevator stops and dings, and it's door opens)
Phineas: Okay, Ferb...
Bob: (Snaps his fingers) (Echoing) Okay!
Phineas: (He and Ferb run out of the elevator) Let's find us a lake monkey.
(Camera switches to Marco Schnozolo, attached being lowered into the water. The rope's arm drops it, causing Marco Schnozolo to float)
Phineas: She's in the drink. Do we have eyes?
(Ferb presses the controller buttons, and the screen turns on. Camera switches to Marco Schnozolo)
Phineas: If anything's gonna get proof of Nosey, it's Marco Schnozolo.
(Back at the beach)
Jeremy: Don't worry, Candace. To be honest, not much happens around here.
Candace: Aw, too bad. I guess we'll just be forced to kick back and have fun.
Jeremy: Yeah! We could take turns saving each other.
Candace: Ah, yeah.
(Song: Save You Save Me)
♪ I'll save you! (I'll save you!) ♪
♪ You'll save me! (You'll save me!) ♪
♪ We'll Save Everyone! ♪
♪ You're gonna need ♪
♪ Mouth-to-mouth ♪
♪ T-L-C ♪
♪ P-R-E ♪
♪ M-T-Venus ♪
♪ and Mars ♪
Jeremy: Candace? (Snaps his fingers) Candace!
Candace: Huh? (Blushes) Oh, sorry.
Jeremy: As I was saying, being a lifeguard takes focus and concentration.
Candace: Focus, right.
Jeremy: If you just keep a calm, cool head, you'll be fine.
Candace: (Gasps) THE LAKE NOSE MONKEY!!!! EVERYBODY, (Rings the bell) OUT OF THE WATER!!! (Screams)
Candace: (On a megaphone) GET OUT! RUN! (Screams)
(Everybody flees from the water. Candace screams into her megaphone at two people, who are reading)
Bob: Huh? Wha--? What?
(Candace screams into her megaphone at a duck, then screams into two megaphones)
Bob: Everyone, please, calm down! (The crowd stampedes on him)
Candace: (Pulling a woman's arm) Go, ma'am, leave your child! There's no time! (Whistle blows) Save yourself!
Jeremy: (Blows whistle) Hey, Candace!
(Candace lets go of the woman's arm, and falls)
Jeremy: Everybody calm down! We're safe, look! (Picks the "Lake Nose Monster" up) It-- It's just some driftwood.
Candace: Driftwood? (Chuckles nervously) Sorry, everyone. It's safe. You can come back, okay?
Bob: (Comes out of his stampede hole and snaps his fingers) That was not okay.
(Underwater, Doofenshmirtz's submarine is seen. Inside the cab the doorbell (Doofenshmirtz Evil Inc.! jingle) rings)
(The handle rotates and the door opens)
Doofenshmirtz: Perry the Platypus? (Chuckles) Thank goodness, I-- I thought you were the guy with my hot wings. In two more minutes, my order will be free! Yes!
(Perry pulls out Doof's hot wings out of his backpack)
Doofenshmirtz: Oh for crying out loud! (Takes the hot wings) Fine. Okay, what was that? 15 bucks? All right, here's 10, 11, I got more here. Hold on. 1, 2, 3, 4, there! $15! And don't forget your tip! (Presses a button on the steering wheel, activating a diving helmet trap. He chuckles) Pretty good, huh? (Camera zooms out) So, Perry the Platypus... (Bites off a hot wing) I bet you're wondering why I'm sitting down here at the bottom of a lake. Well, the answer is simple. Mmm-mmm! This is really good, man. You want some? (Takes a box with the red wings) Here, here. (Perry takes a hot wing) Take the blue cheese. (Perry takes the blue cheese and pours it on the red wing) Do you know, I-- I prefer the ranch. Take the blue cheese. (Perry bite the red wing, and Doof holds up a napkin) Here's a napkin. (Perry takes the napkin) Anyway, the answer why I'm here is simple. Zinc. Lake Nose has a ton of zinc, and this machine goes around and filters all the zinc from the water. (Camera zooms out, showing a zinc tank) See, see? Zinc! So I figured I'd go around collecting all the zinc, and then use that zinc in some evil way to rule the world! You know, with zinc. Just think of the evil uses that off with zinc! (Pause. He looks around) I mean, seriously, can you think of some? Cause I got nothing. (Walks to a chart) I mean, look at here with all the good uses for zinc. Huh? All this good stuff, and over here? Nothing. All I got is "Some evil "Zinc Ray-Inator" or something, and, and look here! I wrote "Big laundry". I-- I don't even remember what the reason was, so I assumed I remembered some big genius Idea. Big laundry. (Deep voice) Big laundry. (Normal voice) I, it-- It's crazy! I'm a crazy person.
(Cut back to the beach.)
Bob: (snap) Okay! Candace, since it's your first day and you are understandably eager to impress old Captain Webber, I'll give you another chance.
Candace: Thank you, Captain Webber. Don't worry, from now on, I'll be okay.
Bob: (snap) Okay!
Candace: Well, at least the beach is empty now. (to jeremy) It makes our lives a lot easier.
Woman 1: (offscreen) Hey, is this where they saw Nosey?
Man 1: Come on!
Man 2: You bring the camcorder?
Jeremy: Don't worry, Candace. Just stick with me and I'll get you through this, okay?
Bob: (snap) Okay! Jeremy, we're gonna have to move you down to Station 7 to cover this crowd, okay?
Jeremy: Uh, okay.
Bob: (snap) Okay! (leaves) Candace, you stay here.
Candace: WHAT?! Wait...by myself?! But—
Man 1: Let's be unsafe!
Man 2: I'm gonna run with scissors!
Woman: I brought some glass to the beach!
(Cut back to underwater.)
Phineas: (offscreen) Here, Nosey, Nosey, Nosey. Hey, look, Ferb, it's a red herring! I say we follow it and see where it leads us.
(The red herring swims, but then is covered by a shadow. The red herring looks terrified, but before what is producing the shadow can be shown, the picture goes static.)
Phineas: What was that? (The giant line begins moving and comes apart.) Check the perimeter cameras! (Ferb walks up to the perimeter cameras, but one by one, they all also go offline.) Without the cameras down here, we're— (The lights go off) blind.
(A red light switches on.)
Computer: Emergency power on.
(Phineas and Ferb walk up to the window.)
Phineas: So much for getting proof. What was that? Did we find the Lake Nose Monkey?
Ferb: No. (The chomped off camera sinks down.) It found us. (The lights go out.)
(Scene opens up on Phineas and Ferb's submarine.)
Phineas: Okay, Ferb, fire it up! (Ferb flicks a switch and we hear the turbine engines rolling.) Cool! That's weird. All the cameras are still down. It's gonna be much harder to get proof that Nosey exists now. You man the starboard window, I'll go portside. (A sea creature appears behind him.) We'll see who spots Nosey first. (Phineas looks at the menacing creature behind him.) I win! (to Nosey) Stay calm. (Nosey growls and Ferb backs away) No sudden movements. Okay, try panicking and making a lot of sudden movements. (Nosey grabs the camera that Ferb is holding and sinks down and smashes it to pieces with his tail.) I don't think Nosey was attacking us at all. He was just going after the cameras. He must not want the world to know he really exists.
(Cut to Lawrence in the middle of his story.)
Lawrence: It was either back up the fire escape or lose the pants altogether. Then suddenly it hit me.
(Cut to Candace, who gets hit by a soccer ball.)
Candace: Ow! Hey, watch it, brats! (Cut to her approaching a couple of kids burying their friend in the sand.) No! You're supposed to bury everything except the head! Hey, no! We do not drink the lake water! (Cut to two kids holding cups. Wide shot to reveal an older man sipping the water through a drinking straw.) That goes for your children, too, sir!
Little Girl: Excuse me. My daddy came to see Nosey, but I'm scared. Is he really coming back?
Candace: Aw, I don't know, sweetie. I was being silly before and overreacted. Sometimes we see things that aren't really there, but don't worry. I promise I'll protect you if...I...see... (Wide shot of the lake. Nosey's head appears out of the water.) THE LAKE NOSE MONSTER!!! (Everyone jumps out of the water screaming.) Quick, kid, run as fast as your little legs can carry you! Follow the train tracks north! You should hit Ackerton by sundown! Blend in! It's a college town! Get a retail job and save up enough for a bus ticket to the Canadian border! Someone will get in touch with you when the coast is clear!
Bob: Candace! Is this your Lake Nose Monkey?
(Bob pulls up what is revealed to be Baljeet on an inflatable tube shaped like the Lake Nose Monkey.)
Baljeet: (nervously) Surprise?
Bob: You're in big trouble, young man! (snap) Okay! Just a little prankster! We're safe!
(Buford pops out, to reveal that Baljeet was tied to him.)
Baljeet: I thought you said this would be funny.
Buford: It is! You got in trouble! (He laughs loud and long.)
(Cut to Bob speaking with Candace.)
Bob: Candace, what on earth are you doing?
Candace: I'm sorry, Captain Webber, I thought I saw—
Bob: I know. Look, I'll let you in on a secret. There is no Lake Nose Monkey. It's just a little tall tale, like Bigfoot or that face on Mars. See, they pretend that Nosey is real so tourists from all over the world come here and buy Nosey T-shirts and snowglobes. But.. (Throws the snowglobe away)
Man: (offscreen) Ow!
Bob: ...it's just pretend.
Bob: (snap) Okay! So that's it. No matter what you see, I never again want to hear you say—
Candace: (gasps) THE LAKE NOSE MONKEY!!!!! RUN FOR YOUR LIVES!!!! HURRY!!!
(Everyone screams and runs Bob over.)
(Cut back to Phineas and Ferb watching Nosey.)
Phineas: (to Ferb) Hey, do you still have that little digital camera you got for Bastille Day? (Ferb takes it out and gives it to his stepbrother. Phineas snaps a photo. This angers Nosey more. He goes up to the window.) Bup-bup-bup, check this out. (He throws the camera on the ground and it shatters to pieces. He stomps on the remains.) See, boy? Your secret's safe with us. (Nosey smiles and disappears.) Hey! Where'd he go? (Nosey appears in the submarine) Is it me, or is the Lake Nose Monster easier to find than Perry?
(Speaking of which, cut to Perry who is watching Doof enjoy his hot wings.)
Doofenshmirtz: Mmmm... Ooh, wow! (chuckles) Time out, man, I need a breather. (He falls to the floor on his back) Oh! I wish I didn't eat the hot and spicy right after the honey glazed. Speaking of wishes, you know what I never understood? Genies. They tell you to wish for anything you want and then they add some terrible twist. Like you-you wish to jump high, so he turns you into a frog. What—? Why? Who gains from this? The genie? I— Where's the benefit? (Perry gets out a device to make his escape.) You should be fighting genies, man, not me. I'm not the problem. Genies. Genies are the problem. (gasp) I got it! (Perry stops cutting through the bars and Doof sits up) Zinc foil! (Pause as Doof lies back down) Eh, not really evil, is it?
(Cut back to Phineas, Ferb and Nosey.)
Phineas: Here. You want some corn dogs, boy? (Nosey sniffs the dogs and smiles. He takes a big bite out of them. He smiles and claps his fins happily.) He likes it!
(Song: My Wettest Friend)
♪ I know a special someone ♪
♪ Who lives under the sea ♪
♪ He's my wettest friend! ♪
♪ (He's my wettest friend) ♪
♪ My wettest friend ♪
♪ He's not the shortest, ♪
♪ He's not the orange-est, ♪
♪ He's not the one who smells ♪
♪ Most like masking tape ♪
♪ Now, I will always love him ♪
♪ I hope it never slips away ♪
♪ Cause he's my wettest friend ♪
♪ (He's my wettest friend) ♪
♪ My wettest friend ♪
♪ (He's so sopping, yeah) ♪
♪ 'Cause he's my wettest friend ♪
♪ (Don't let him plug anything in!) ♪
♪ My wettest friend ♪
Phineas: Hey! Someone's calling! (Cut to a videophone. Phineas answers it. Baljeet appears on screen.) Y'ello?
Baljeet: Phineas, is your refrigerator running?
Phineas: Uh, we don't have a refrigerator, Baljeet.
Baljeet: Then you better go catch it? (The gang all stare. Baljeet speaks to someone offscreen.) I thought you said that would be funny.
Buford: (appearing onscreen) It was! You look stupid! (laughs) It works on so many levels. (feed gets cut off)
Phineas: Oh, hey, Nosey. This is just our videophone. See, when we talk to people, we can see them on this screen. (Shows an image of himself and Nosey on the screen.) And this is what they see. (Nosey gasps.) What's wrong? (Nosey gets welled up with tears and snarls and leaves.) Oh, wait, no! We weren't taking your picture! Come back.
(Cut to Candace sitting on a rock.)
Candace: I can't believe he fired me. And this time I actually saw it!
Jeremy: (approaching her) Candace, are you okay?
Candace: Okay, I know it sounds crazy, Jeremy, but I saw it, I really did! I mean, not the times when I saw it and it wasn't it, but this last time, when I saw it and it was it! You believe me, don't you?
Candace: (sighs) It's okay. Earlier this morning, I wouldn't have believed me either. In fact, I was even mocking my... (gets an idea) brothers! That's it! They'll vindicate me! They're out there right now getting proof that Nosey is real!
(Cut to Phineas and Ferb)
Phineas: I can't believe it! We were probably the first people Nosey ever trusted and look what happened. Come on, Ferb! Let's suit up!
(Cut to Doofenshmirtz's underwater lair, which begins to wheel away.)
Doofenshmirtz: Well, it looks like we got all of the zinc from this area. It's time to move on to the next quadrant! "Quadrant." "Quad-rant." Quad—It's—It's a weird word when you think about it. "Quadrant." "Quad-rant." (Perry resumes filing the bars.) Quad—It's—See? Now it doesn't even sound like a word.
(Cut to Phineas and Ferb in their scuba gear in the water.)
Phineas: Hey, look! It's Nosey! (Cut to Nosey looking sad.) He doesn't look too good. (They swim up to him.) What's the matter, boy? (Nosey groans. Phineas looks at his watch.) Oh, no. The zinc levels in the lake seem to be dropping. Nosey needs zinc in order to survive. (Ferb takes out the sunblock their mother gave them earlier.) Sunblock? With zinc! Good thinkin', Ferb! Here, Nosey, this'll make you feel better. (Phineas pours some sunblock onto Nosey's head. Nosey revives but then looks scared at something and swims away.) Where do you suppose he's going? (The ground shakes) What's that? (Doofenshmirtz's device comes up to them and sucks practically everything in its path. Phineas and Ferb hold onto a branch. Nosey returns and hits it.)
Doofenshmirtz: Hey, wait, w-what was that? (Perry jumps out of the scuba mask and the bars drop off.) Huh? You were trying to escape?! After I shared my wings with you! Well, granted, I did trap you like a monkey— (Perry punches him.)
(Cut back to Phineas and Ferb's submarine. Nosey brings them back to safety.)
Phineas: Thanks, Nosey! (Phineas and Ferb take off their helmets.) We understand now. If we prove to the world that you really exist, they'd never just let you live here in peace, huh? (Nosey shakes his head and dives down.) It's too bad you don't exist, Nosey, cuz if you did, I think we'd become great friends. (Winks. Nosey winks back.)
(Cut back to Lawrence.)
Lawrence: I said, "John, it's great, I love the tune but the words. 'All you need is a Phillips head screwdriver', it just doesn't really ring true, does it?" (Phineas and Ferb reappear on the boat.)
(Cut to Doof and Perry having it out.)
Doofenshmirtz: I've got you now, Perry the Platyp— (He trips on a wing. The lair rams into the submarine and the boat begins speeding.)
Lawrence: Oho! There was simply no way we could get through the entire petting zoo—
(Cut back to Doof and Perry. Perry looks up and sees the boat.)
Doofenshmirtz: Heh, any day now. Hey, where are you going?! (Perry goes into the bathroom and slams the door.) Oh—Oh, I see. (The toilet is heard flushing) That's—That's the hot wings working there. Ha ha ha. (A knocking is heard. Pan left to reveal Perry outside the lair.) Hey, how did you—?! Oh, you got out through the—I—I see.
(Perry makes his way up while Lawrence is continuing his story indistinctly.)
♪ Agent P! ♪
Lawrence: So, anyway, there I was, four hours from the nearest dental supply store...
Lawrence and Phineas: Oh, there you are, Perry!
(Cut to Bob lounging and enjoying some wings of his own.)
Bob: Mmm...delicious. Best hot wings in town. (snap) Okay! I think I'll go for a little swim. That whole "waiting 20 minutes after you eat" thing is all a big hoax. (Takes out a snowglobe.) It's just so we can sell these cool "Kid with a cramp" snowglobes. (Bob wades in the lake and looks through his binoculars.) Hmm. That boat's moving pretty fast. I'd better get out of the w—Oh! Cramp!
(Cut to Candace who gasps as she hears Bob groaning. Cut to Nosebud speeding along. Cut to Bob.)
Bob: Can't move! (Cut to a shot of the snowglobe followed by a closeup of Bob's lips like in Citizen Kane.) Nosebud. (He drops the snow globe. Candace jumps on Bob and gets him out of the way.)
(The boat flies out of the water and crashes into a lifeguard tower finally stopping in the woods.)
Lawrence: ...and that is how I caught Big Mouth Ramone.
Phineas: Cool story, Dad.
(Cut to Candace and Jeremy with Bob.)
Candace: How you feeling, Captain Webber?
Bob: (snap) Okay! Thanks to you, Candace. How would you like to be reinstated as a Lake Nose lifeguard?
Candace: Well... (snap) Okay!
(Jeremy and Candace giggle, but Bob just looks at both of them.)
Bob: Don't get it.
(Phineas, Ferb and Perry approach Candace.)
Phineas: Oh, hey, Candace!
Candace: Did you get it? Did you get the proof that Nosey really exists?
Phineas: I can honestly tell you that a ferocious, man-eating lake monkey does not exist in Lake Nose.
Guy: Aw, man!
Candace: Wait. So does a non-ferocious, friendly lake monkey exist? Do you have proof of that? Hmm?
Phineas: Do we have proof? No. (winks, points and smiles)
Ferb: Well, if such a creature did exist, I believe its habitat and safety would be all of our responsibility to look after and protect.
Man: Hey, wait a minute. Everyone, that British kid is saying something really, really...boring.
Kid: Yeah, let's get out of here!
(The crowd leaves.)
Phineas: I didn't think it was boring, Ferb.
Candace: You know what I think? I think you two found Nosey, but you didn't bring back any proof, specifically just to make me look foolish, in front of all of these— (Sees a chomped camera in the lake) Wait a minute. (Picks it up) Look at this! Only one thing could've made a bite mark this big! Yes! I have proof! Now they'll have to...believe...me... (Sees the sad expressions on her brothers' faces.) Or maybe you were specifically trying to protect Nosey. (Phineas smiles.) Oh. I'm gonna have to do the right thing here, aren't I?
Phineas: We're proud of you, sis. (Ferb gives a thumbs up.)
Candace: (throwing the camera in the garbage) Yeah, yeah. Candace is crazy, but the monster is safe. (Nosey appears out of the water and smiles at Candace.) Oh, great. Look who finally showed up! (Nosey kisses her.) Fine.
(Open up on Doof still in the lair.)
Doofenshmirtz: Well, looks like I'm stuck down here. Guess I'll have time to figure out what "big laundry" mea—Oh. (sees a huge pile of dirty clothes) Oh, that's right. It's Tuesday. (gasps) I know! (runs to the bathroom) I can get out the same way Perry the Platypus did! (Toilet is heard flushing and water comes out from under the door.) Oh! Oh! Oh, that didn't work at all! Oh, now I really gotta do the laundry!