This page contains mature content.
Some viewers may find this page inappropriate and disturbing.
Accordingly, viewer discretion is advised.
UNIVERSHELL You are a Calamity of Disgrace ! You got no professional attachment ... and you can't give your big nose out of other people's business ! As an Intergalactic Observer, you stink . Did anybody else see those big letters flying by? You're hopeless, Kazoo ! Actually it's Ga- zoo . Ga. . Let's all say it together . Silence ! We are sending you to a planet with virtually no civilization for you to mock up . Please, no ! Anything but ... Earth ! You are to document the Earthlings bizarre mating ritual of love and marriage Why can't they reproduce like we do ? It's a boy ! Oh! And So green and slimey . Quit sucking up ! Wait . Surely there must be others more qualified than I . Of Course . But why risk loosing one of them ? Just do not land ! They haven't even invented pants yet ! Have you seen my legs ? Imagine the moron, who was going to stuck with kazoo ! ACADEMY RONTOD CRANE This is an exciting time for us, isn't it? Barney . Sure, Fred . No job, no money, no women . Things are really looking up . Don't worry Barn . Everything's gonna change once we pass our finals tomorrow . Um Fred...And I know just how to ace this test . see all these other mugs are gonna stay up all night study . Don't interrupt ! And when they finally do get to sleep, all the information just gonna fall right out of the heads . And me, i'm way ahead of everybody . I'm not gonna study tonight. I'm gonna get a good night's rest, get up extra early ... and study in the morning . That way everything will still be, right upfront in my noggin by the time when i get to work to take the test . That's great Brother, just one thing . - What's that ? The test is today . Today ! Flintstone ! You're NEXT ! Next up on Brontosimulator No.3, Fred Flintstone . Go ! 10 POINTS You think you can handle a Bronto-Crane with a back firing problem ? Cranes got trouble, just call Barney Rubble . Oh, my angry tummy ! MECHANIC ON DUTY There you go . you wished . Look Out ! She's gonna blow ! Hey, I got three stomachs cut me some scrap 5 POINTS Time ! Well how do i do ? Well, Flintstone. You passed ! Congratulations Graduates ! Frederick Flintstone ! Way to go, Fred ! - Congratulations, Frederick. - Thank you. Melvin Granite ! Thank you. Gifts ! Gifts ! Gifts ! I'm having the best bridal shower, a girl could ever have . And this one's from Wilma . A Vacuum Cleaner . Thank you very much . Ya like she's gonna do in the housewife right ? I give this marriage six months tops . Where's Wilma ? That girl is a death to me . Wilma Slaghoople ! Staring at the top at BedRock again ! There is nothing down there, had a bunch of flat-footed flat-headed Neanderthals, clubbing each other and grunting . Hey, you know i heard they are still afraid of the fire . I think they are exactly like you and me . This is all my fault . I should've never let you played with the suburbs Children . Darling, Please . Come downstairs and atleast pretend to be having a good time, like everyone else . Come . Look, Oven mitts ! Is that all the presents ? What do we do now ? Ladies, I have an idea . What do you say we go for a drive ? To the club ? Actually i was thinking about going someplace a little different for a change ...someplace new . Like going into BedRock ... and going bowling . Isn't she the best ? Oh, Yes she is . My Wilma Beautiful and witty . A prize for any man . Hello Chip . What are you doing here ? I just came by to discuss some business with Colonel Slaghoople . There is a certain girl, i'm thinking of investing here . Hello, Ladies . Well, I guess the next Bridal Shower will be Wilma's . Ah no, ladies don't start chiseling those invitations just yet . Wilma, you have done a real amen. If i got i had a shot at Chip i'll club my Eugene and leave him for the raptors. Wilma , get real . Chip Rockefeller was first in his class at Princestone ! Yes, i know . He owns half of Rock Vegas. Colonel . Wilma, You and Chip are perfect for each other. Think of kinds like he can buy you . we get to spend everyday together shopping ... - playing tennis ... - getting facials ... brow breathing our husbands ! We will be just like our mothers . Where you've been ? I've been looking all over for you . I didn't feel like much celebrating . Are you kidding ? we get to spend the rest of our lives working in a rock quarry ! Who says dreams don't come true ? I know I should be happy , but ... I guess I was always figured by this point in my life.. that i have somebody special to share my successes . Well you always got me, Fred. Thanks, Barn. but that's not what i'm really talking about . Yeah, I know. - what are you talking about ? - A girl, Barn ! Oh Yeah right . What should i thought . But i wouldn't worry about it Fred . I mean, You'll meet somebody . Its like they always say, " It'll happen when you least expect it ." Now see that's the way you're wrong, Barn . I believe you create your own oppurtunites in life . You gotta go out there and make things happen . I mean it's not like something's just gonna drop out of the sky, land in front of you, and change your whole life . What was that ? Help! Is there anybody out there? Klaatu barada nikto ! Fred, I think there is somebody in there . Come on Barn, let's try it to open it up . I'm right behind you, pal . I don't know , Barn . I think that thing's empty . Would you mind not holding head by the antenna ? It's not an ordinary pleasant and say ... - Get me out of here, Come on pal . - Get me out ! Get over ! - What are you? - I am the Great Gazoo . The Great Kazoo ? Ga- zoo. I come from a planet too far for you to fathom and a civilization too advanced , for you to comprehend. Wait a minute , Fred. I hope we get wishes ! Pardon ? Ya we let you out of the fancy bottle, and now we get wishes right ! Yeah, Barney's right . Let's get this started . What do we have to rapt ? Naa an Nokia , I'm not some sort of friendly cartoon Genie . And that is not a bottle, it is a spacecraft . I'm of a highly evolved alien species . I don't do funny voices , I don't sing catchy songs ... and i do not posess a magic carpet for your big bloated behinds to float upon ! I'm here to observe your species mating rituals. Ok Dum-Dums ? Dum-Dums ? Hey, was that an insult ? Well if the shoe fits ... What's a shoe ? Yes, it was an insult . That's what i thought . Ya here do observe . Well get ready to observe your teeth leaving your head . There he is, Fred . Violent natives ! That could've downfront tourism . Perhaps you can satisfy my intelluctual curiosity ? Fine, and you ? Oh Dear . I'm Betty , i'll be your waitress . The fish is fresh, but be careful so where the busboys . So what do you having ? What i'm having ? How much is a glass of water ? Water ? Free . Great, I'll have two . You want a burger to go with your water? Oh, no . Water's fine . I like water . Because if you're short on cash or something , I could spot you again , you know . Then You could just go home get your wallet and pay me back . No, that's impossible . I can't . I just i can't go home ... Oh my ! Are you caveless ? But you're so clean ! No, you see ... You poor poor thing . Oh great, I've just called you " poor " ! I'm so thoughtless sometimes . - You are not poor. You are not. - No, I'm not. You are just down on your luck, right? Well don't you worry . You stay with me till you're back on your feet. And i'm gonna buy you lunch . No ! Absolutely not ! Listen, that's very sweet of you, but ... Please, I used to volunteer down at the caveless shelter, you know . And I know , I know, you're not looking for a handout . You are just looking for your self respect . I'm Betty . Betty O'Shale . Just call me Wilma . Ok, Wilma . Let's go get you something to eat. And then we'll set you up at my apartment . You live in an apartment ? That must be so great! Always wondered , what'd be like to live in an apartment . The life can be so cruel sometimes . UPPER CRUST - Housing Trailer Good night , Fred. Goodnight, Barn . Goodnight, Dum-Dums ! Hey, its that Kazoo . Ga- zoo. Why is that so difficult ? What are you doing here ? I am here to observe your species mating rituals . so ... Get to it ! Oh, Barney and me don't ... Get off of me. Listen pal , you've gotta lot to learn about the way things work here . So who or what do you make with ? The girls ! And where are these " girls " ? I've been asking myself the same thing . I got it ! Are you hurt, Wilma ? Who is Wilma ? Atlast some hormonal activity . Okay, boys time to get busy. I don't get paid by the hour, you know . Keep quiet, Gazoo . You wanna see us meet some girls, you gonna have to hang back . We don't want you cramping our style. Style ! Numero uno : If you knew the first thing about style you know that the animal prints are passe . And secondly, Dum-Dum ... Not another thing . Enough with the " Dum-Dum " . My name is Fred Flintstone . F -L- I- N ... - T. -Stone . I do not care who you are. That doesn't give you any reason to shout . I am not talking to you, I'm talking to him . Who? Him ? No, Him . The little green guy . Don't you see him? Wait a minute ! He thought I was ... Wait a minute ! Are you telling me, we are the only people who can see you ? You got one right, care to take the " prehistoric imbeciles " for 200 ? So the whole day Barn and me talking to you and everybody thought we were a couple of ... Dum-Dums ? I'm telling you , I got a good feeling . Today could be my day. Who knows? I could turn around right now and meet the girl of my dreams? What will it would be boys ? Pay attention, Barn . You'll never want the companionship again . Sorry, no substitutions. No, I , we ... You wanna date ? Well you cannot, the man who said less. Why not? You can take me to the carnival tomorrow . Your little friend wanna date too ? Help! I got the perfect girl . I'll be right back . Barney , tonight we shower. I may not know much about your courting rituals , but i'll just give out to limb here ,and say this can't be going very well. See the 40 year old man ! One of nature's miracles. Step right up ! Step right up ! Only this way . This is amazing ! I can't believe it ! It's so noisy. Yeah, I noticed . That looks like bowling ! Barney , can we play ? Oh yeah Sure , but , you know Fred and I we go bowling all the time. Aah. That's a dumb idea . Who's gonna pay to see dinosaurs ? I got dinosaurs in my backyard ! Wow ! You got a really great laugh . Yeaa . So do you . Hey, do you like brontocoasters ? I'm wishing to it . You're on . This is gonna be fun , huh? So, what do you wannna do first ? What was your name again ? Come on, pretty boy ! Rock-Candy Look. Ring-Toss What you got , drama girl ! you're gonna hit the back side of a brontosaurus ! That was a good shot . Wasn't it ? Well that's a pretty tough spare ... for most people. We got a winner . These things never live longer than a week . Hey Fred do you think you could teach me hot to throw like that ? Sure . Let's see what you got. I'm done . Let me help you here . Give me your hand . Middle fingers . Take the weight . Now relax . It's all in the toes . I did it ! Look I know I ran off with Betty , but , you know , Wilma's kind of my date . So I was wondering , whether it wouldn't be too much trouble if ... well if ... What are you trying to say, Barn ? Would you mind , if i left with Betty ? No, not at all buddy . Hey, Take the car . Thanks , pal. Thanks a bunch . She says she wants to go our place and cook me breakfast . I do not know what we gonna do until then , but you know i can't turn down on a good meal . It's kinda chilly all of a sudden, isn't it ? Chilly ? Are you kidding ? The Earth's still colding around here . It's chilly , we should've brought something to trade above my shoulders, you know . Thank you . Nice opening gambit lover boy . Now , close the deal , so i can get off this Warren lock . I am ignoring you right now . What did you say ? I said , I am adoring you right now . Oh Fred. That's so sweet . Come on , come on ! You're in the red zone . " Isn't it so romantic ? " " Now , hurry up and kiss her ... " Your eyes are like two big eyes . What a Cutie . She thinks you're her mother . Quiet down ! I lead a simple life . Where I have a roof over my head , food on the table ... and a top-shelf to shave shell . I am a happy guy . Fred you are so different than the kinda guys , I grew up with . - And they what wanna like ? - Just real different . This is it . Oh I had a great time tonight . I sure hope you did too . I wouldn't change a thing . Good night . Good night . FUTURE SITE OF BED ROCK GARDENS - RESERVE TODAY The Flintstones Good morning , Fred . What a beautiful day ! I was just thinking the same thing , Barney boy . BEAUTIFUL ! So I think You and Wilma had a nice evening ? Are you kidding ? Barn, I never met anyone like her . This Wilma I think she may be the one . I feel the same way about Betty . I mean she's smart. She's hot. - Kind . - Funny . Classy . She's hot . Beautiful ! You know , Wilma , you really should wear your hair up . Uh, I got need more height ! Look . It really brings out your smile . Well I guess I just have a whole lot more to smile about these days . And I owe it all to you , Betty . You're the First real friend I ever had . You had a tough life . You deserve a few breaks , Wilma . Actually Betty it hasn't been all that tough . You see, there is something that I've been meaning to tell you but i'm real scared , but I think now is the time ... Ooh Pizza's here . Good evening . I'm looking for ... Mother ? Wilma ? Is that you ? What is this place ? This is an apartment . It's how a lot of people live . Well , that doesn't make it right . And who are you ? A Cleaning Women ? Well obviously you're doing a terrible job . You're fired . Go on ! Shoo ! Mother ! This is my new best friend , Betty . She's been very good to me . And I've been the regular germ cruel fish . Wilma , I am going to take my bath now . Good Luck . Mother . How did you find me ? I did what any concerned parent would do . Hire a detective . You what ? We will discuss everything on the way home . I'm home , Mom. I am happier than i have ever been in my life . And you can throw me in a sack and drag me home , but I'll just run away again . Fine , Wilma , Fine . Now you have broken my heart. But I wil not allow you to do the same thing to your deared faithful father. Darling , he misses you so much . And if you are not home on Sunday to celebrate his birthday , Well, I just do not know how many more birthdays he's going to be run ... to celebrate . I wonder why Wilma gave us these suits to wear for the party . May be it's a costume party , Fred . STAY ! Dino , Stay . C'mon Barn lets pick up the girls . So Barn, What do you think ? Oh Fred , you shouldn't have . It's not for you, nitwit . It's for Wilma ! I'm gonna ask her to marry me . Oh Dum-Dum , there appears to be a tiny flake of something ... stucked your ring . Look, just there . That's the stone , Gazoo . Oops . It's all i could afford . Sorry. Well I am sure she will be very impressed by your ... Frugality . See that's the great thing about Wilma . I don't feel to need to impress her . She's just a simple girl with simple tastes . You know there are couple things about me , I haven't gone around and telling you guys yet . Well, welcome to the Slaghoople manner . Your house has a name ? Fred , Look . A Cadarock Limo ! Betty I'm sorry . I was just so ashamed . You should have realized a caveless girl couldn't afford a priceless maserocki . Wilma's home ! Everybody ! She is loaded . I'm afraid you looks like you're really lucked out . No Barn . This is terrible . I can't give her this measly ring . Look at her house ! A girl like this is used to the best of everything . She's gonna take one look at this ring and laugh at me . You know Barn , its a good thing i didn't get the chance to give it to her sooner . Hey, what are you doing? This punk's trying to steal my car ! No, sir . I'm the valet . The valet ? I don't care if you are valet , well you are not going in my car ! Barney ! Leave him ! Fred , he's the valet . He parks the car . I know that . Come on , Fred. The valet parking . First cooked food, and now this. What will they think of next ? Wilma darling , we're over here ! Wilma darling ,you look nice . Thank you , Mother . Hello . Happy birthday , Daddy . Any news in the front ? Morale is excellent , Sir . Mother , Father , I'd like to you meet my new boyfriend , Fred . Cavalry ! Mount up ! We are moving out ! Search ! A Pleasure . Charmed . Wilma darling , there is somebody here , will simply dying to see you again . Chip , Over here ! Mother, Chip is here ? Oh yes Chip's here . He's practically family . Who is Chip ? We used to date , used to Mother . You are lovlier than ever . I love your hair up like that . I see you brought a ... Date . Wilma , Look . The Rathbonesowie's arrived . You've got to come to see Tiffany's new nose . It's between our eyes now . We haven't been formally introduced . I'm Chip Rockefeller of the Mesozoic Rockefellers . I'm Fred Flintstone , of the Fredozoic Flintstones . So What line of work you in , Flintstone ? It just so happens , I'll be hanging my half down at the quarry . Oh you bought Slaten Company ! No, I'm a brontocrane operator . Seriously , what are you doing ? I work down at the quarry . I'm a brontocrane operator . You are serious ! How embarrassing for you . Fellas , Wilma's date works ... at the quarry ! He is a brontocrane operator ! Hi Betty . Did I tell you that's a really pretty dress ? Thank you . Betty , you are not still mad at me , are you ? Mad ? Just because you pretended to be poor ? And I took you in and I felt sorry for you ? Why would that make me mad ? Having fun , Princess ? Not really . That's my girl ! I have something for your birthday . Dad it's your birthday . It is ? Well this won't fit me . They are beautiful . I know you don't like showy things , but these are your great great grandmother's . In fact, they came right out of the shell . Whatever you decide to do , remember one thing . That Daddy will always love you . Thank you , Daddy . Sure are beautiful pearls . Thank you , Fred . They look really expensive . Ladies and gentlemen ! I would like to propose a toast . To the Colonel on his birthday . Although he is a man of great wealth and power . He has the most precious gifts a man could ever want . A loving wife ... and the most beautiful daughter in the world has never seen . To the Colonel ! You know , I also would like to propose a toast. Must you ? To Mr. Slaghoople ... Colonel Slaghoople ! Yes ? Mrs. Slaghoople , and most of all , Wilma . Thanks for the invite . I never been inside a place , this big but i'm paying the admission . At first I felt a little uncomfortable , so much the same way as you would , if you stumble in my one of large meetings . The Loyal order of the Water Buffalos . No, Dino . Back ! You ! This is all your fault ! You ruined my entire party , you idiot ! You Bafoon ! You Communal ! Get out . Get out of my house , now ! Watch it , buddy . Stop it ! How can you treat people this way ? Is it because , they are not like you ? You know what ? That is why , I like them . Because they are not like you . They like me for who I am , and not WHO I am . I mean ... You know what I mean . How dare you to talk to me like that , Wilma ? No one has ever talked to me like that before ! Well , Mother , may be it's a bad time , somebody did . Let's go , Fred . We were right behind you , Wilma . Thanks , Betty . Wait . Please don't go . You were right back there . The way everyone's behaved today is been inexcusable . Thank you , Chip . Congratulations, Flintstone . I really mean that , a better man one . And just to show that there are no hard feelings I'd like to invite the four of you to the opening of my new casino in Rock Vegas . You Love birds can taken to the sites , and relax in the luxury accomodations ... and enjoy the opening night concert gallery by Mick Jagger and the Stones . Stones ? This is it Love , This is Destiny . What do you say , Wilma ? I, we ... we really appreciate your gesture , but i don't think now is such a good time ... Rock Vegas ? We'd love to go . WELCOME TO FABULOUS ROCK VEGAS JACKPO Way to go , Barney ! Great day , huh ? I hope it never ends . Oh , Young love . It's a shame it won't last . Just you wait , Roxie dear . This man is my puppet and i barely began to pull the strings . Soon Wilma will see him for the pathetic primitive he really is . I thought you went over this with Wilma person . What do I have to do to convince you ? Diamonds ? A mazerocky ? Your own show in stalactite Lunch ? Very nice , Chip , but i prefer cash . What a coincidence ! So do we ! Rocko and Rocko , my favorite maid men . What can I do for you , Gentlemen ? The Boss wants his money . He says he don't think you got it . That's not entirely true . nor is it entirely false . he don't entirely care . but he wants all of his money by midnight sunday , or we start taking your casinos . And breaking your legs ! This is a mood discussion , Gentlemen . Because by sunday evening I shall be married to Wilma Slaghoople ... and one of the greatest personal fortunes in the uncivilized world . You better be . Or else you will be sleeping with the Tunasarauses . The plot's thicken . This is heaven . Could you get me between my shoulder blades ? That's cures all my tension . She is tense . I just found out what calamari means . Wilma , can I ask you something ? Sure , Betty . What's that ? Do you think , Barney is serious about me ? What are you talking about ? He's crazy about you . I hope so . I've never met anyone like Bernard Rubble . He is so loyal and so sweet . He makes me feel like I'm the only girl in this whole flat world . That's exactly how Fred makes me feel . Chip ... it was always about money . Fred does not have a greedy bone in his entire body . Look at all these clams , Barn ! Yea.. you got there enough to buy wilma a ring for each finger , Fred . May be a little stud for me too . So what do you say , we go cash up . What are you , crazy ? That's your problem , Barn . You think too small . I'm not gonna just stop at a ring . I'm gonna buy her a whole lifestyle , just like Chip Rockefeller . But she doesn't want some smart rich , handsome guy . She wants you ! Buzz off , Caveboy ! The man's got magic hands . I know this will be difficult for you , but , let's think for a moment . Chip Rockefeller flew you to his casino in his plane to play at his tables . And against the odds of 247000 to 1 ... You have rode 17 straight winners . Can we connect the dots ? Sure ! Today is my lucky day ! Good Luck, Dum-Dum . You will need it . Come on , babies . Forty seven ! What did I tell you , Barn ? Magic ! It's not magic , it's skill . A gentlemen gambler like you should be playing with the high rollers . HIGH ROLLERS ONLY I was just getting warmed up , You know , building my bank roll . - Bank roll ? Please I'll give you a line of credit . - Credit ? Sure ! The house funds you a little extra you pay it back , a man of your skill , Please , I will be honored to have you on a house account . Don't do it . That's how my uncle - the gambler lost everything . He lost his wife , he lost his house , his kids , his dog ... Guess you know , we have an " all you can eat " buffet by the pool ? Fred , please ! " All you can eat " ? Absolutely ! I'd like you to meet Roxie , she's my lead actor . Roxie , Would you show Mr. Rubble the buffet ? It would be my great pleasure . Come on , Flintstone . I'll show you to the table and have the pitball brings you a nice big pile of clams . New Shooter ! Freedom and wit , boys . Four lovely ladies . Make that six . Where you two been ? We've been Waiting for you, Fred , at the Cadre Club . Alright , I'm Sorry , Wilma . I've been on a roll . Where's Barney ? He went off to the buffet with some show-girl . A show-girl ? When they say " All you can eat " they don't mean " till you explode " . I'm just getting started . Look at the size of that pie . Waiter ! Over Here ! Let me help . ROCK VEGAS TOURS I love you , but I gotta go . Catch you later ! Hello , Love . Are you ... Yes , Mick Jagger , at your service . And you are ... ? Betty O'Shale . What a lovely bird doing alone by the pool ? My boyfriend ... He was ... I saw him with another girl ! Oh , Sweetheart . I'll tell you what . If you was my lady you wouldn't catch me even touching another girl . Not never ! Unless I'm on the road . On the road doesn't count . Stop it . Why don't you try ... stopping crying and give Mickey , a little smile , eh ? That's better . You look lovely when you smile , Miss Betty O'Shale . Thank you . What do you say we go meet my band mates ? And then we can go so more quiet , so we can ... talk a little bit more , eh ? Three thousand and forty-one ... What's going on there ? Hey , Fred , Look ! There's Mick Jagger and the Stones ! And there is Betty , she is with the band . What would be Betty doing with the Stones ? Yeah .. She doesn't even play instruments . Betty , Up here ! It's me, Barney ! Excuse me . Wait a minute , Betty ! Please ! Fourteen thousand five hundred and forty- two . Fifteen thousand five hundred and forty- two . Fred , let's do something together . We could go bowling . Bowling ? Bowling's for the poor people . Looks like You and Chip have a little more in common than i thought . Why ? Because we both big winners ? Here, Fred . Buy yourself a clue . Wilma , wait . Honey ! Baby ! What's the matter ? JACKPOT - A MILLION CLAMS All right , Flintstone . You lost Wilma . Now it's time to lose everything else . WIN LOSE Place your bets , folks ! Place your bets . One red ! One red is the winner . Hello Wilma . Been for a walk ? Nothing gets by you , Chip . Forgive me , for disturbing you . I'm so sorry . I just got a lot of in my mind . I have been on that edge too . Opening weekend , so many guests , and now all the room robberies . Robbery ? No , Nothing , it's just ... But , just to be safe I wish you would let me , put those beautiful pearls of yours in our safe . Good idea , Chip . They mean a lot to me . I know . It's up to you , baby . Get me started again . Mr. Flintstone ? Mr. Rockefeller has extended an invitation to join him at the fight . ROUND 122 More credit ? No . No chance . No way . No how . Do you know how much you owe already ? Owe ? One million four hundred thousand clams . It's gonna be a real shame when Wilma finds out what a loser her new boyfriend really is . Of course ... she doesn't have to find out . She doesn't ? See that , I knew you were a good guy . I'm not . I said I wouldn't tell her . I didn't say you can still have her . I'll erase your debt , Flintstone . But you gotta disappear , out of town , out of bed-rock and never see or speak to Wilma again . Wait a minute . You had planned this all along ! Tell me , how do you even dress yourself in the morning ? Normally , I just wear what i fell asleeping . What does that got to do with anything ? Goodbye , Flintstone . You won't get away with this , Rockfeller ! I don't care what happens to me , but I'm not gonna let you easily away closer to Wilma . As soon as I find , I'm gonna tell her exactly what's going on . Then we will see how well your plan worked ! There has been a robbery . All guests to the lobby . Uh-oh , there appears to have been a robbery . We will have to continue this conversation later Fred . Please step this way . Ladies and gentlemen ! Ladies and gentlemen ! I regeret to inform you that there is a criminal in our midst . Now what did he say who was ? But before I expose him into the public , I'd like to give him a chance to step forward that admit his wrong doing only to take his first tiny step towards absolution . I stole all the towels in my room ! That is illegal , but still ... I'm wearing someone else's underwear ! No, I was talking about a .. I'm systematically poisoning the dinosaurs watersupply ! In a matter of decades , their entire species will be extinct ! Alright ! This is obviously going no where . I was talking about a necklace . A very valuable necklace has been stolen from our hotel safe . A necklace belonging to my dear dear friend , Wilma Slaghoople . My pearls ? Alright , who did it ? So help me . If you don't step forward right now , I'll personally punch you ... I don't think the violence will be necessary Flintstone , because I know exactly , who stole Wilma's pearls . A desperate man drowning and gambling twits . Low-life ! Hey , doesn't anybody care about this whole dinosaurs becoming extinct thing ? No ! Fred , would you mind emptying your pockets ? Do you think I stole Wilma's pearls ? Chip that's ... Why , do you have something to hide Fred ? Definitely not ! See for yourself . Wait a minute . I didn't take these . Wilma , why would I take your pearls ? Do you deny that you owe the casino over a million clams with no way to pay it back ? Fred , is that true ? Yeah , but ... Wilma , Darling , I'm so sorry . Wilma , you can't believe him ! He set me up ! Security , take this man to jail ! You're coming with us . Wait , Wait a minute ! You are all making a big mistake . Fred couldn't have stolen that necklace . It was locked up in a safe . Fred can't even remember the combination to his bowling locker . Look it's got written down on his hands , see . Great ! Now everybody seen it ! Crack a safe ? He couldn't even crack his knuckles without my help . Thank you , Mr. Rubble , for confessing to be Mr.Flintstone's accomplice ! You are welcome . What ? Take them both away ! I'm innocent ! Everybody , Gamble ! Where's my little girl ? Oh , my poor poor baby ! Perfect . Now everything's going to be alright now , Darling . Mommy is here ! And I'm going . I've already talked to Chip and he is willing to take you back . What gives you the right to interfere with my life ? I'm your mother and I love you . And Chip loves you . Chip loves money . And you have money ! It's a match-made in heaven . Look , I think he's already proven his loyalty . He saved you from that beast . Fred is not a beast . He was just raised by them . Now that explains the missing piece of the puzzle . Wilma , Listen to me . Go back to Chip . Please . Darling , Don't let Chip slip through your fingers again . I just do not know how much more pain that poor boy can deal . Guys , I'm sure you have your money by midnight ! The Boss says , he's got his doubts . See , a little birdie told him that you even date Slaghoople damn no more . Hey , I might be out of job tomorrow . Brothers got a little mess you see . That's preposterous . We are getting married this evening . Good . But if the bride do not show , you'll be spending your wedding night ... with me ! I miss Betty . I know Barn . I do anything to see Wilma again . We would be with them right now if I haven't been so stupid ! And now I could have told you that . Oh boy , you got us sour eyed ! You gotta help us , buddy ! You gotta get us out ! " Buddy " ? Did I heard that correctly ? I am sorry but are you not the same Fred Flintstone , who hurt my feelings , so that I spent the rest of my vacation in my room watching paperview ? You're right , you're right . I was wrong . I ... I tried to impress Wilma with money and all i did was ruined everything like I always do . Cause you know what I am ? I'm nothing but a big ... Yes ? Dum-Dum . All of first ? The eyes have it ! Oh , now look . Just because , you finally realized what I knew right away, that doesn't mean ... I haven't developed a little soft spot for you . Really ? So you gonna bust us out of here ? Gazoo's gonna bust us out of here ! Do I look like a cavalry ? that does outfits are adorable . You two know that I can't actually interfere . I'm only here to give you some information , I thought you might find inlikely . Hey , I didn't know you can do that . This is a mood discussion , Gentlemen . Because by sunday evening I shall be married to Wilma Slaghoople ... and one of the greatest personal fortunes in the uncivilized world . Wilma's in trouble ! We gotta get out of here ! C'mon you gotta help us, Gazoo ! I would I could , I really do . So you are gonna just let it this happen ? I've gotta sit in this cell , when Wilma walks the aisle with the wrong guy . We were supposed to live happily ever after ! Same with me and Betty . Please , don't . Not emotions . My race is processed with eons that the slightest trace of personal emotions ... and we couldn't be happier . Well of course , we don't actually get happy , because we do not have emotions , but ... Oh , this is so sad . Somebody hold me ! TEEREX TISSUES Blow . Barney , you can fit through the bars ! I can ? I guess I should have tried that earlier , huh . Come on . Get the keys ! Hey , back in your cage , shorty ! Hi , Betty . Hi , Wilma ! I just came to say good-bye . I heard you're going to Stonehenge with Mick Jagger . I can't wait . Chip's going around saying you are getting back together . I'm so happy for you . And I'm so happy for you too , Betty . I've ... never been so happy . Me neither . Hey , knock it off . You're big girls now . Wilma darling , you are doing the right thing . I married the Colonel face for money and look how happy we are . So , we meet again . Spread out and find these guys . They're looking for us , Barn . They got guards everywhere . What're we gonna do , Fred ? We just gonna have to fight away it . but these guys are armed ! This is a war , Barn . And in a war there's always gonna be casualities . I just want you to know how much I appreciate your sacrifice . What do I've got to be the one gets sacrificed ? Because I know I'm gonna get Wilma back . Face it Barn . There is no way Betty's gonna dump Mick Jagger for you . Therefore I've got more reason to live . Come on , girls ! Let's go ! The curtain's coming up ! Come on , out ! Oh , you look lovely ! Opening night ! Ready to smile . You see , Fred ? Worked like a charm . No chit-chat . Let's go and sparkle ! The one near the end looks like a man . May be your sister ought to try out . It's them ! Get'em . Let's get out of here , now ! Come on ! Get them ! This isn't love , This is ... What do you think , Betty ? Should I stick up my butt a bit further ? Does it look good like that ? May be that's too much bad for the opening of the show , you know . It's really upto you , Mick . You're the artist . Yeah , there I am Betty , that I am . Wow , you really are with Mick Jagger . Have you not the two girls are sameful . Actually the cuter one used to be my boyfriend . What ? Betty , I understand , if you wanna be with this famous rock star instead of me . but I just had to come back here and tell you , I love you . I don't think I ever told you that before . but now I did so ... Goodbye . Barney , wait ! Do you really mean it ? Of course , I do . I never felt this way about anyone before . And what about that show-girl you were within the restaurant ? Roxie ? That's Chip Rockefeller's girlfriend . He sent her to take me to the buffet , so i couldn't stop Fred from gambling . Chip Rockefeller has a girlfriend ? Well somebody's gotta tell Wilma ! Don't worry , Betty . I'll handle Rockefeller . Alright would somebody mind telling me , What's bloody going on here ? This is not creeky ! I'm supposed to be on stage . I'm sorry , Mick . I had a really great time with you and all , but ... I love Barney . Well , I don't care . I'm in love with Betty too . She is the first decent honourable woman I ever met and I'm like ... unbelievably turned on by her naivety . Watch your mouth Mister or I'll give you a fat lip . Although it kinda looks somebody already has . Alright that's it ! Nobody's pinches my bird ! Not after I am , pinching her from in the first place . Take this partner ! Come on . She is mine ! Oh yeah ? I'd rather ridiculously been dead body . I love you . I always have . I lost you once , but I won't lose you again . Marry me . Tonight . Chip , you're terrific . but ... it's just a lot of things have happened recently and I need a little time to think . Wilma , I can't live without you . Just say " yes " . Please . It's okay . Ladies and Gentlemen , the fabulous Tardust Hotel ... proudly presents the world's only rock and roll band , Mick Jagger and The Stones . This isn't Love , This is destiny somewhere above this was planned for me Life had no meaning I never knew , why Till the dream came true The dream is you . I never say never But this love forever Till over together whichever wherever Till we go This isn't Love , This is ecstasy Somehow I knew you would come to me I never say never Wilma , Honey . I never meant to hurt you . I've done some stupid things , like a lot of stupid things . but love makes you do stupid things . I never forgive myself if I didn't give this one last try . Wilma Slaghoople , I can't give you diamonds , fast cars or fancy houses . I can . All I can give you is just plain old Fred Flintstone from bed-rock .... and all the love in my heart . and I hope that's enough . It's enough . It's enough . No , it's not ! Wilma , ... Will you ... Will you ... Spit it out ! Wilma , will you marry me ? This is your last chance ! Stop me or all the dinosaurs die . Shut up ! Wilma , I am still waiting . Yes ! And do you , Fred Flintstone ... take Wilma Slaghoople to be your wife to have into your home from this day forward Do you, Wilma take Frederick to be your husband to have into your home from this day forward I do . Then by the power vested in me by the City of Rock Vegas ... I now pronounce you husband and wife . You may kiss the bride . Mrs. Slaghoople . Where am I ? What is this place ? Gazoo , are you crying ? No , No , of course not , Dum-Dum . No , I've simply overcomed with information . You see , I've finally understand ... your complex mating rituals . All the emotions . All this ... Love . And I've come to the conclusion . I will never meet anybody . You're very sweet , but believe me , it would never work out . Ladies and Gentlemen , I now present to you Mr. and Mrs. ... Flintstones ! Meet The Flintstones They are the modern stone age family From the town of bed-rock They're page right out of history And with Rubbles by the side We'll have all alone and happy life When you're with the Flintstones Have a yabba dabba doo time A dabba doo time . We'll have a gay old time . Viva Rock Vegas Viva Las Vegas turnin' day into nighttime Turnin' night into daytime If you see it once You'll never be the same again We'll have a gay old time . We'll have a gay old ... Time