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GIRL: It's not fair. I don't want to!

Molly, you're old enough to know that life isn't fair.

I'm six.

That's right. You're my big, brave girl.

And Mommy needs your help. Don't you love Mommy?

We're just gonna play make-believe.

Like when we said that Grandma set that fire so that she could go live with those other nice old people.

I miss Grandma.

It's just for a couple of hours.

You'll wait in the well, Mommy will call the police, they'll rescue you, and then we'll be on TV!

Okay, okay, we're gonna get money and presents.

Now, when the police arrive, you have to say that you ran off by yourself and that I came looking for you.

Okay... here we go.

No, no! It's dark and it smells.

Don't be a baby.

I don't want to.

It's fine, it's fine.

I'll do it. I'll show you.

Doesn't this look fun?

You're gonna love this.

It's exciting. See?

It's fun in here!

(grunts)

There's lots of pennies!

(screaming)

What did you do?!

(girl chuckles)

Help! Help!

Help!

Help!

You little brat!

Help! (laughing)

Why didn't you wake me?

Why? 'Cause I didn't want to wake that big, brilliant, beautiful brain of yours.

I doubt you would find a brain oozing cerebrospinal fluid attractive.

Oh!

You came home late last night.

Yeah, well, you know what? I got a lot to review here before I testify in front of the subcommittee.

You see all this stuff?

You have two more weeks, Booth. You should take a break.

I want to.

You know, Sweets wants to take on more responsibility, take some of this workload off of me.

You want Sweets to lead a murder investigation?

Well, he's earned it, right? Without Sweets, we would never have caught the kid who killed the chess player.

While I agree with that, you are my partner.

I'll still be around.

And I can call you any time?

That means all the time, right?

(phone rings)

Brennan.

Yes?

Okay. Yes, thank you.

We'll see how he does. Remains were found in a well outside of Ellicott City. Tell Sweets to meet there.

I can drop you off if you want.

You study. If Sweets is incompetent, I'll let you know.

Yeah. (sighs)

I'm sure you will. (cell phone chimes)

(indistinct radio transmission)

SAROYAN: Please place any tissue floating on the water in evidence bags.

You can check for particulates back at the lab.

HODGINS: Yeah, this isn't our first rodeo, there, Dr. Saroyan.

You're equating this victim with animals mistreated at a rodeo. Quite clever.

No, but... Okay.

So, Cam, I'm sending up tissue and pupal casings.

And bone fragments that were dislodged when rats fed on him.

Him?

Yes, the size of the femoral head indicates a male.

Second instar larvae from blowflies and flesh flies.

Time of death is five days prior.

BRENNAN: No marked lipping on the symphyseal dorsal margin places him in his early 40s.

Guys, the area blocked off by crime scene tape is too localized.

I want it increased by 50 meters. And anyone not wearing booties is gonna be written up.

Including you.

Good morning to you, Dr. Sweets.

Booties?

Yeah, well, it's regulation.

I gotta do everything by the book.

I can't let Booth down.

BRENNAN (on walkie-talkie): Is that Sweets?

Yes, it is. And he looks mighty dashing in his booties.

Thank you.

HODGINS: Hey, got a new sheriff in town.

BRENNAN: Dr. Sweets, please make sure that Dr. Saroyan has the support that she needs.

She's in charge of the scene, and sometimes the FBI techs can be sloppy handling evidence.

Regulations can be a bitch, can't they?

I think your man over there's not wearing proper gloves.

Who? Which man?

Hey!

Ooh, bones... where the surface made contact with the bottom of the well, it's encrusted with coins.

Yeah, the well was drilled into the limestone.

So there was an electrochemical reaction that fused the coins to the bone.

BRENNAN: These will be difficult to remove without damaging the bones. Ooh.

The tissue on the femur, Cam.

According to the locals, this area hosts family picnics by day and underage drinking by night. Your booties.

Booties.

How considerate. So how do you even know this is a murder?

The deceased could've been sitting on the edge, fallen in after drinking too much.

A test? Okay. Well, there are drag marks that go all the way from the trail all the way over to the well here. And if you look at the grate, it shows signs of stress, as if someone stomped it in.

This is a body dump, Dr. Saroyan.

Okay. I'm impressed.

Wow, did he just "Brennan" you?

I believe he did.

What does it mean to "Brennan" someone?

Is that a compliment?

Dr. Sweets seems to be very thorough.

SWEETS: Thank you.

♪ Bones 9x23 ♪ The Drama in the Queen Original Air Date on May 12, 2014

♪ Main Title Theme ♪ The Crystal Method

There are numerous fractures on the remains.

I can't distinguish peri from postmortem damage until all the metals have been removed.

And between the victim's hair and the tissue, I should be able to run a tox screen.

Greater and lesser humeral tubercles are enlarged.

You know, somebody could've tossed this guy in knowing that the coins and other metals would obscure the evidence on the bone.

Nah, could be knowledge of predation, or maybe...

Ms. Warren. Yeah?

Brennan doesn't speculate.

We observe, we analyze, we use facts.

As an intern, you should know this already.

Yeah, but my instincts are highly developed.

It'd be a crime not to put that in the mix.

Look, I appreciate that Ms. Warren's here to learn, but perhaps a novice isn't the best choice in this situation.

You really didn't have to accompany the remains to the Jeffersonian, Dr. Sweets.

Though we appreciate your thoroughness.

Well, no, Booth would know if I wasn't following protocol.

Hey, listen up dude. You're making this about you.

What about this guy, huh?

I was actually talking to Dr. Saroyan just then.

WARREN: You know, when someone is as uptight as you, usually they have something bubbling inside.

I wouldn't try to shrink the shrink, Warren.

The remains, Ms. Warren.

Okay. But I'm thinking That's it. One more word that isn't specifically related to the case, and I will dismiss you, Ms. Warren.

Thank you. There you go.

There's your paperwork. Chain of custody is complete.

I believe regulations state that's all you need.

Um, maybe I should...

Regulations, Dr. Sweets.

Bye-bye for now.

I find I am fond of Sweets in this new role.

His attention to detail is impressive.

The heads of both femurs are also enlarged.

I think the victim was an athlete.

Just a vibe.

A vibe is not evidence. Right.

Okay, then. No remodeled fractures.

Increased irregularity in both the coracoid processes.

So there was strain to his shoulders from overdeveloped muscles.

Most commonly found in swimmers.

Like I said, an athlete.

Off the physical evidence, I'm willing to confirm the possibility the victim was a swimmer.

And it all started with a vibe.

The report on the transfer of the remains to the Jeffersonian. This is just about the transfer?

Yeah, it's protocol. You're not gonna read it?

Okay, there's a whole section in there on the new intern. I'm not a fan.

I know. Cam told me. I don't care.

I tell you what, take a look at the crime scene photos here.

Do your shrinky thing and see if you see anything, huh?

I was there. I don't need the photos.

All right, well, tell me what you know.

Okay. Well, the grate was stomped out.

The location of the dump was methodical.

The killer was deliberate and thoughtful...

So not a crime of passion?

Perhaps initially. But after the act, whoever did this seems to accept what he's done.

No regrets.

(computer beeps) Oh.

I got a hit off Missing Persons.

The victim is Brian Thomas, 43.

He's the head swim coach at Knox Community College in Maryland.

He was reported missing by his wife.

I sent it all to your inbox.

Great. Thanks, Angela. All right, I tell you what. You talk to the wife.

See if we're dealing with a grieving widow or a potential suspect, all right? Need those photos?

I don't need the pictures.

I was there.

Are you sure?

We are.

I'm very sorry for your loss, Mrs. Thomas.

Can you think of anyone who might have wanted to hurt your husband?

No.

His life was devoted to his work.

All he did was coach and swim.

Did he compete? Someone could've been jealous.

He hadn't competed in years. Mm.

What time did your husband leave the house the day he went missing?

Why is that important?

You don't know, do you?

I'm a nurse.

I work mostly nightshifts.

And Brian would usually stay at the pool late to work out.

We hadn't spent a lot of time together lately.

That must've taken a toll on your marriage.

We had talked about taking the summer off to travel.

Just the two of us.

Make up for lost time.

We could've made it work.

(quiet sigh)

Is this gonna take long, Curly?

Nicknames and a highly competitive nature.

I'm gonna go out on a limb and say you grew up with a bunch of boys.

Good call. Five older brothers.

Whoa, hey, hey, hey! This is hydrochloric acid.

I don't know about this.

I don't want my bones damaged.

Your bones will be fine.

I'm diluting it down to a one-molar solution.

So, it'll remove the carbonate material, and I can pry off the coins.

Oh.

Everyone here is so smart.

I don't understand why there's not more appreciation for scientific imagination.

Science fiction? Try the H.G. Wells exhibit on the fourth floor.

Every new discovery started with a dream, dude.

Including you diluting the HCL.

(gasps)

Nice work. Right?

All right.

Let me know when I can start de-fleshing the bones and getting rid of the staining.

Yeah, good luck with that.

Thanks. Any idea where I could get about 80 pounds of pineapples?

So, Cam didn't get anything from the tox screens, all right?

There is no poisons or drugs in the victim's system.

She should've called me. You're busy prepping for your hearing.

Ah, you know, force of habit.

I looked into the victim's work at the community college.

Oh, hazing. Yeah.

The reporter cites an anonymous source who told her about hazing on the swim team orchestrated by one of its members, Avery Parrish. He made them drink dangerous amounts of milk and vinegar until they vomited? Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Two of the students were hospitalized.

One of them quit the team.

That's horrible. Why-why-why would this kid turn against Brian?

Well, I tracked down the student reporter who confirmed that the informant was Brian Thomas, the swim coach.

So much for the source being anonymous.

I told her if she withheld the name, she'd be impeding a federal investigation. So...

Look at you, huh? Okay, I'll tell you what, I'll go with you, we'll go talk to him.

No, no. It's my lead, Agent Booth.

You got a lot of studying to do. You're gonna be on C-SPAN.

Yeah, that's heavy. Okay, listen, uh, take Bones with you.

I don't need a babysitter.

I'm not saying that you need a babysitter, I'm just saying-- look, you're doing a great job.

You really are. Just take Bones so she can do her Boney thing.

Right. No, I knew that.

BRENNAN: Since acting as an agent, you're finally using evidence to reach conclusions-- I appreciate that.

As opposed to my usual meaningless psychobabble?

Exactly.

Okay. Well, I wish I could say I appreciate your new intern.

Oh, Ms. Warren is in Mensa.

She graduated at the top of her class from Michigan State at 19.

She has a lot to offer.

But you said that you were gonna fire her.

Well, she needs discipline, but we both need her expertise.

I'm surprised you're not more accepting, Dr. Sweets.

Well...

That's Avery Parrish.

Avery Parrish?

Yeah? SWEETS: FBI.

We need to talk to you about Brian Thomas.

Oh, my God, what's happened to him?

He hasn't been at practice all week. Wait, who?

Our coach.

His remains were found at the bottom of a well.

Most of his flesh had been consumed by rats.

Did she say "bats"?

Are you kidding, Quentin?

I imagine he has temporary hearing loss from excessive exposure to water.

You should see an otolaryngologist.

You're good. And you should see an orthopedist.

Based on your asymmetrical posture, caused by limited mobility in your right glenohumeral joint, you seem to have a musculoskeletal condition known as "swimmer's shoulder."

SWEETS: So Coach Brian turned you in for hazing-- you must have been upset about that.

And you think...?

(laughs): Hey, no way.

No matter what he did, I loved the guy.

Because of him, Quentin and I are looking at scholarships to four-year colleges. When I got out of the Army, I thought it was just community college for me.

We all loved the guy. Yeah.

When was the last time any of you saw him?

Last Wednesday night-- practice ended at 8:00, and we all left.

Coach stayed to lock up and swim laps, like usual.

I think Coach Gabby was still here, though.

Oh. Yeah.

Gabby. BRENNAN: Although a nonspecific response, it seemed fraught with meaning.

I agree. What are you alluding to?

It seemed like... they were sleeping together. You don't know if they were sleeping together. Coach loved his wife.

Brian's dead, man. They need us to tell the truth.

Gabby and Coach were together all the time.

I wasn't having an affair with Brian.

We were coworkers and friends.

My God.

Now, I've had s*x with coworkers and friends.

In the past.

Why do I care? SWEETS: Uh... maybe what was a casual affair to him meant more to you.

You wouldn't be the first person to kill because an affair ended.

For the last time, there was no affair.

At least not with me.

You're saying he was having an affair with someone else?

(sighs)

A couple of weeks ago, Brian gave me a ride home... and I found a woman's earring in his car.

And he smelled like perfume a couple of times.

He was married, Ms. Morrell.

I know Lyla. She didn't wear perfume, because it irritated her patients.

And this earring was gaudy, with rhinestones and stuff.

Lyla barely wears studs. You met her, right?

You may think that this clears you, but it actually gives you another motive, which is jealousy.

I agree. His reasoning is sound.

(chuckles)

It's actually working. Yeah.

I just had a feeling.

There's an enzyme in pineapple.

Bromelain. Yeah.

It breaks down proteins.

I took a Thai cooking course, and I saw what the pineapples did to the meat, and I thought, you know, why the hell not?

Man, I should've known this.

Hey, you think it's gonna remove all the staining?

It is.

(chuckles) And thankfully, the acidity didn't degrade the bone.

You risked the remains by using a technique you weren't sure would work?

Yeah. Thanks for all the pineapples and trusting me.

I'm thinking mai tais after work.

But I don't trust you. Not now. It was risky, but I got to say, science was on her side.

And Dr. Brennan will be so stoked to see all the injuries.

There's a fracture to the superior portion of the acetabulum and another upwards into the ilium sustained postmortem during the fall down the well. And perimortem injuries to the left humerus and to the back of the left ribs, numbers nine, ten and 11.

Also, the L3 and L4 are shattered.

That would have paralyzed the victim.

Oh, totally.

Right now I'm guessing that he was beaten while in the fetal position.

I'll swab the wounds-- maybe there's some trace that can help us identify a weapon.

How much do you love the humble pineapple right now?

(Warren chuckles)

SWEETS: All right, so,

I had Forensic Accounting analyze the victim's financials.

Did you say "excuse me"? Because I-I missed that.

I'm studying here.

I didn't want to waste time.

Brian bought dinner at the same restaurant every Friday, using the same credit card.

That's one of the nights his wife worked at the hospital.

Maybe he was having an affair.

That's exactly what I thought.

Where are you going? You know what?

I'll tell you what, I need a study break.

I'll take this one, okay?

(sighs)

WARREN: I just had a feeling it would work, and now the lab smells like Hawaii!

You were lucky this ended well, Ms. Warren.

Oh, luck is the unknown mixed with knowledge, instinct, commitment, imagination and foresight.

I-I mean, I wouldn't call the discovery of penicillin luck, or... complex math... Fine, but as an intern, before you do anything like this again, get my approval.

(sighs): Lot of red tape around here.

Uh, did you see that his calcaneus was driven backwards, causing chipping damage to the cuboid?

He was thrown feet-first down the well.

Oh. What?

You didn't see this?

A bony enlargement at the distal end of the first metatarsal of the left foot.

It's a hallux abducto valgus deformity.

Bunions are usually caused by ill-fitting shoes. I also see a remodeled hairline Lisfranc fracture in the mid-foot.

About two weeks old. I should have seen these.

Yes. Perhaps your vibe is broken.

This injury is the result of someone stumbling over a plantar-flexed foot, an injury often sustained by women in high heels.

Snowboarders could sustain this injury.

There's no evidence Brian went snowboarding two weeks prior to his death.

I also found these osteophytes.

From observation, not a vibe. (chuckles)

Uh, here on the anterosuperior edges of the thoracic vertebrae one, two and three.

This would indicate a continued stress to the upper back.

That's not a result of swimming. Definitely not.

He was clearly involved in some other form of strenuous physical activity.

(sighs): Oh, wow. Bones, this doesn't make any sense.

I mean, if the victim used his credit card here every Friday night, someone should've recognized him.

Are you sure you should be out in the field, Booth?

You know what, I cannot look at another operational manual or disciplinary report without shooting it, all right?

Let's just... let's go to that motel we saw earlier around the corner, okay?

Just show the manager the victim's photo.

If he was having an affair...

BRENNAN: No. BOOTH: No what?

He was going in there.

It makes sense.

What makes sense? Come on!

BOOTH: It's a club.

♪ Keep it cool

♪ What's the name of the club?

♪ I can't remember, but it's all right ♪ ♪ I'm all right, just dance

♪ Gonna be okay

♪ Da-doo-doo-doo

♪ Just dance

♪ Da-doo-doo-doo

♪ Just dance

♪ Gonna be okay

♪ Just, just, just dance

♪ Dance, dance

♪ Just, just, just

♪ Dance

♪ Wish I could shut my playboy mouth ♪ ♪ Whoa, oh, oh...

He was wearing high heels!

That's why he had the hallux abducto valgus deformity and the Lisfranc fracture.

A-And the osteophytes on the vertebrae were caused by the weight of fake breasts.

Are you saying that the perfume and the earrings belonged to him?

Yes.

There. What?

The mandible and the zygomatic are Brian Thomas's.

Wait a second, he wasn't having an affair.

He was a drag queen.

♪ Out on the floor

(laughing) Whoa.

Table for two?

Yeah. On our way. Two.

♪ What's the name of the club? I can't remember ♪ ♪ But it's all right, I'm all right ♪ ♪ Just dance.

♪ So let's danceOVE STAY the last dance... ♪

I can't believe Jenny's dead.

Oh. This is awful.

I'm... I'm sorry.

She was a good friend and a great beauty.

Yes. Excellent bone structure.

Right. Look, how long had, uh, he... she been working with you, Ms. Childs? Just call me Destiny, sugar.

About a year. Uh, Fridays only.

Jenny had a day job. You know, not everyone can live off booze, singles and applause.

You know, G-man, I could make you look fabulous.

I'm straight. Thanks.

So was Jenny.

BRENNAN: Anthropologically speaking, homosexuality is not a prerequisite for cross-dressing.

There are Kabuki actors and certain Hindu devotees of Krishna. It's an expression of personality, like you wearing your socks.

Okay, look, socks are a little different than a dress.

Oh, you could get used to it.

Actually, kilts are... Look, guys, I don't have any problem with any of this.

Really. I think you look very... pretty in your dress.

But I prefer pants, okay?

So, did Brian have any enemies at the bar?

Kimmy Moore.

Kimmy Moore. She was mad at Jenny for taking her time slot here.

It was prime, darling. And Kimmy thought she could parlay her gig into something bigger, like a tour or a TV show, but...

Jenny was simply better.

And Kimmy would've killed over this?

Let's put it this way, she has the worst characteristics of both the genders-- she has the aggression of a man and the temper of a woman. She also has very well-developed biceps and trapezius muscles. She's... definitely strong enough to throw a grown man down a well.

She was thrown down a well?

Oh, honey, that's no way for a queen to take her final bow.

♪ All that I ask ♪ Is that you dance with me ♪ Dance with me, dance with me ♪ Yeah...


Sweets.

Am I being called to the principal's office?

(chuckles)

No. Uh, listen, about the "novice" remarks earlier, I just wanted to apologize.

Accepted. You can pick me up at 8:00.

I like my steak rare and my beers thick and cold.

(chuckles) I'm glad you understand.

Doesn't seem you do.

Excuse me? What?

Are we gonna drink and eat meat or what?

Oh, you were serious about that.

Is that such a weird thing to do or...

No. It's... (sighs)

Well, we're colleagues.

Okay. (chuckles)

I was feeling it there for a minute, but I guess my Sweets-dar is way off.

No.

I mean, look, I... It's not like I don't like you.

I mean, I think you're very attractive and you're...

Dr. Sweets, this is a lab, not speed dating.

No, we... Uh, I just needed to see if there was any new information about the case.

And apparently I'm irresistible. It's not his fault.

Then do him a favor and try to rein it in, Ms. Warren.

You wanted to see me? Yeah.

Fractures to the third and fourth metacarpals on the victim's right hand. It's known as a "fight bite."

So Brian was punching someone? Yes.

Nice job, Sweets. The person's tooth penetrated a joint capsule in Brian's hand, fracturing the bone. Remodeling suggests that the injury happened two weeks before he died.

At the same time as the fracture to the foot.

Wasn't that the result of tripping in high heels?

Oh, so the victim was in drag during the fight.

Hey. Right?

Brian must've fought with someone at the bar.

You know, Booth is there right now.

I'll go give him a call.

Toodle-oo.

I'm a diva, not a murderer.

Well, there's a first time for everything, okay?

We know that you were mad that Jenny took your slot.

Yeah. I called in sick, and the next thing I know, this queen is trying to take my crown.

Ha. All because I got the flu.

We were told it was because your act wasn't very good.

Destiny is jealous.

My act could play Vegas, sweetheart.

I need you to remove your makeup.

What? Jenny got into a fight. She punched someone in the face.

So we need you to remove your... mask.

Uh, two words, okay? "Uh" and "uh."

It takes hours to create Kimmy, and I have a show in 15. Right, well, you're a suspect in a murder, so either you take it off or we go for a ride downtown. What's it gonna be?

(sighs)

This fight you say she was in, it was about three weeks ago, wasn't it?

Yes. It wasn't me.

Jenny came in from the parking lot between shows.

She had a bloody hand.

Okay. What happened? I don't know.

All she said was that the situation had been handled.

She was a tough one. Ooh, butch queen.

If she and I had been in a fight, this face wouldn't still be so beautiful.

I wish I was back home studying the operational manual, Bones.

I don't see anything.

You have the results of the swabs?

Yeah. I found traces of a copper-zinc alloy in the fractures to the L3 and L4 that were not from the coins.

What's the polyethylene?

It's a common plastic. I found it in the damage to the humerus. Now, the most common use of copper, zinc and plastic is in a plumbing pipe.

So this lovely dude-lady was beaten with a plumbing pipe?

Yep. Come on.

Hey, um, have either of you seen Cam?

I saw her in the lounge.

Oh, uh, I've been meaning to ask you.

Was that a blushing Sweets that I saw run out of here earlier?

He came to apologize for being stupid, so I made him feel more stupid.

Wait a minute. What is it with Sweets and the interns? Whoever it was, I can make him forget.

So the feeling's mutual.

The proper ones are always crazy in bed.

Right? Again?

MONTENEGRO: We were, uh, talking about the case, about how it's...

New rule: next person I find discussing their s*x life instead of the case cleans my autopsy room.

(elevator bell dings)

Dr. Sweets.

Mrs. Thomas, what are you doing here?

I was looking for you, actually.

Oh, do you have more information for us?

No. I was hoping to get some answers from you.

I'm-I'm sorry. There are rules.

I'm not allowed to discuss an ongoing investigation.

It... I understand that, but...

I just heard about Brian and about him being Jenny and...

I...

Right.

Well, as an athlete and a coach, Brian was required to adhere to a very structured lifestyle.

And Jenny provided a sort of escape, you know, an uninhibited extension of Brian, someone completely free. I'm sorry.

I'm not making myself clear.

The reasons why don't matter to me.

What I don't understand is... why he didn't tell me.

You know, often people reject what's odd or foreign to them, and I'm sure Brian was afraid he'd lose you.

But I loved him. I would've accepted him.

If he'd just given me that chance, trusted me, maybe he'd still be alive.

I found footage of the fight that Brian got into outside Madame's Apple.

I thought the club didn't have any security cameras.

They don't. But the convenience store behind the club does.

And I'm guessing it was pointed in the right direction.

Look at this.

Ooh, not very ladylike.

MONTENEGRO: I bet that's where he broke his foot.

SAROYAN: A plumber. So based on this fight, I'm thinking that guy would want revenge.

So how do we find him?

That's why you have me.

I ran the plate through the DMV database.

Joe Rizzo. He looks like the kind of guy who doesn't like getting beaten up by a woman.

So I got in a fight.

Ain't you ever been in a fight before?

Well, you? Eh, probably not.

You know what I think? I think you were committing a hate crime but you were messing with the wrong person.

You were humiliated, so you killed her for revenge.

Whoa, whoa. Wait, , wait, wait, wait. She's dead?

Yeah, Joe. She was found at the bottom of a well.

And since you're a plumber, you're now our prime suspect.

So, what, the FBI hates plumbers now? Our techs found pipes in your car made of zinc, copper and polyethylene.

Trace elements of those were found on our victim from the weapon used to kill her. Okay, wait, wait, wait. Look, you guys got this all wrong.

I didn't kill Jenny.

You knew her name?

Yeah, of-of course.

I was a regular at the bar.

Every Friday night.

I liked Jenny.

Oh.

"Oh" what?

A plumber can't appreciate good entertainment?

Why did she attack you, then?

We, uh, had... a thing.

Sexual?

No. Come on. She was a guy.

I don't know. No, our fight was about my credit card bill. Every Friday, there'd be these weird charges.

And I never, ever used that card, but the account info was on my phone, so...

You figured that Jenny used your phone at Madame's Apple.

Yeah. She was always very attentive, you know, touchy.

So I figured she pocketed it, used the account info to buy stuff, so...

I asked her about it.

Judging from her reaction, you didn't ask very nicely, did you? No, I... deserved that beating.

I was impolite.

You were impolite?

I called her a tranny.

And I shoved her.

I shouldn't have done that.

But I was out almost 300 bucks.

And I never did find out who stole the info, so...

HODGINS: So, I analyzed the pipes we found in Joe's truck.

Now, they match the copper, zinc and plastic we found in the victim's wounds.

So now it is time for phase two. (gasps)

What's it made of?

Synthetic bone and skin.

It's filled with minced meat and gelatin-- cherry flavor, of course.

It's a masterpiece.

I know.

And here comes the fun part.

We get to destroy it.

These are from the suspect's truck.

So we'll attack the torso to see if we can re-create the force profile found on the damaged bones.

Yep. (chuckles)

Now, this is my kind of science.

Right?

(grunting)

What are you doing?

Uh... we were just, you know, re-creating the assault.

While blowing off some steam.

Angela has a computer system worth over $1 million.

I'm sure she could do a reconstruction with far less cleanup. She was busy.

Something about a stolen Internet connection.

And, as you know, in the first 48 hours of an investigation, every minute counts.

(sighs) We'd better get something probative from this, guys.

That whole "first 48" thing... nice.

You're gonna do well.

I know.

I've been reviewing the IP traffic logs to find out how Joe Rizzo's info was taken from his phone. These are the logs from each Friday. It shouldn't... take that long. Okay.

Hey, just a little word of advice.

Don't pass this one up.

One? Which one? What are you talking about?

Jessica.

She likes you.

And she's fun.

You could use a little fun.

I have fun, okay?

I don't... (sighs)

I'll think about it, but she seems a little unpredictable.

(laughs) That's what fun is.

That's why you could use some.

(computer trilling) Uh-oh. What?

Madame's Apple has free Wi-Fi.

Every time Joe logged in, they accessed his account information.

Oh.

You'd steal customers' credit card info when they used your Wi-Fi?

I would just charge small amounts so most people wouldn't notice.

And Joe-- he was a big tipper, so I didn't think $300 was a big deal.

Well, it was to him.

And it was a big deal to Jenny, too.

Did she confront you about it?

No, I wouldn't call it a confrontation.

We just talked about it. That's it.

No, that's not it. Jenny's dead, all right?

And you have a motive.

If she talked, you'd go to jail for identity theft.

Jenny was a friend.

She reminded me that Madame's Apple wasn't just a bar.

It was a place where people could be themselves, whatever that was. Me stealing just put all that in jeopardy.

So you just... you stopped, just like that?

It was that or lose what I loved most.

It's rare when someone can change that easily.

I grew up getting laughed at and beat on.

When that happens, you learn how to survive any way you can.

And sometimes you make the wrong choices.

It might not be easy to change, but I did, Dr. Sweets.

I guess I'm just one of the rare ones.

(sighs)

I have the results of the experiment I ran with Hodgins.

You're not gonna like it.

The copper pipes are not a match for the force profile.

That's right. How did you know?

I don't use your method of guess work.

I'd call it an experiment.

You have great potential, Ms. Warren, but there are many brilliant people whose lives amount to nothing because they don't appreciate the gifts they've been given.

I've heard that one a lot.

Then take it to heart.

I'm constantly marveling at myself.

You should try it.

You're reexamining the damage to the L3 and L4?

There's too much localized fragmentation to be from a pipe.

We're looking for a weapon that has a much higher velocity, that is made of zinc, copper and plastic.

A bullet has a higher velocity, but they don't contain plastic.

A bullet would cause cavitation and beveling, which aren't present.

So, what has the same velocity as a bullet but isn't a bullet?

It was a bullet! Wait. You just said that...

Think, Ms. Warren. What did the victim do when he wasn't wearing a dress?

He swam.

He was shot!

Brian swam laps after practice.

And he'd lock up after, so he'd be alone.

When a bullet is fired into water, it slows and deforms enough to create injuries that mimic blunt-force trauma.

And a bullet exits the barrel of a gun at an average of 900 feet per second.

But after hitting the water, the bullet's velocity would slow and stop at a depth of eight feet.

According to my calculations, the victim was hit from approximately 5.5 feet away.

Based on the size of the injuries, he was likely shot with a hollow-point bullet from a .45.

Can you run a simulation, Angela?

Mm-hmm. You're in for a treat.

Are you talking about the case or you?

(laughing) (laughing)

SWEETS: What about the, uh... the plastic?

One of the bullets hit a lane divider.

BRENNAN: If he were paralyzed while in the water, he would have drowned.

We finally have cause of death.

SAROYAN: So far, we've discovered a nick in a lane line.

Okay, so the bullet did take off a chunk of plastic before hitting the victim.

Which confirms our scenario. SAROYAN: But any bullets fired would've slowed and sunk. None have been found.

I would imagine that the killer dove in and collected them.

Yeah, and, uh, the filters and the chlorine in the pool would have washed away any traces of blood.

But the killer had to move the body.

There could be trace somewhere.

Found chipping in the side wall five feet down.

There were definitely shots fired into the pool.

SWEETS: Well, keep looking.

Maybe you can find a bullet. Yes, sir.

Cam?

I found traces of blood in the hamper.

SAROYAN: The killer must have used this to move the body out of the building.

You know, the other swim coach is the only other person with a key to the pool.

And all we have is her word that she wasn't sleeping with the victim.

We should see if she owns a gun.

I was going to suggest that.

Do you own a gun, Ms. Morrell?

I don't like what you're suggesting.

And I don't like that you're not answering the question.

I don't have to talk to you without a lawyer.

It's a simple question, especially if you're innocent.

The records are easy to check.

Yes.

I do. A .45.

But I never use it.

Only for target practice, I swear.

Brian was my friend.

WARREN: What did you find at the pool?

Bullet fragment, and it definitely hit the lane guide.

It was lodged in the drain. Impossible.

No, it's very possible. I found it, and I touched it.

It was there, and now it's right here.

Then we're going to have to rethink things, aren't we?

Thank you. Ballistics found no gunpowder residue in the barrel of Gabby's gun.

So, it hadn't been fired recently.

We got it wrong. You should knock, Ms. Warren.

I'll do it later. The victim wasn't shot poolside.

How do you know?

Hodgins found a bullet lodged in the drain.

The pool was ten feet deep.

If the shot was fired from outside the pool, the bullet would have stopped moving at eight feet.

It couldn't have lodged itself in the drain.

Brilliant, Ms. Warren!

I can't tell you how long I've been waiting to hear that. Okay. Whether or not the victim was shot inside or outside the pool, what difference does it make?

The difference between finding the killer or not.

Hey, why did you rush...?

What is going on? Don't know.

Well...

Excuse me.

Uh, little clarity, please?

I am the lead on the case.

Okay. Uh, what's happening?

No idea at all.

The killer had to be in the pool.

Okay, how does that help us?

Water transmits pressure much more efficiently than air.

So, a gun fired underwater would be deafening.

There's a slight hairline fracture on the stapes.

(laughs) We just solved your case, dude.

Would someone please explain?

The stapes was fractured by the shots.

Which means that the killer's hearing would also be affected.

You did just solve it.

You are good.

BRENNAN: Your hearing problem-- it's a fractured stapes caused by shooting underwater.

We got a warrant for your gun.

The one you left the military with?

I carry it for self-defense.

It tested positive for chlorine.

Yeah, and you didn't recover all the slugs.

One was found lodged in the drain.

Ballistics matched it to your weapon.

SWEETS: Why?

You left the military, you were getting an education.

At a community college.

I wanted a four-year school.

I served my country. I deserved it.

How was Brian preventing you?

I practiced so much, my grades started to fall.

I copied another guy's midterm.

Brian caught you.

He was going to report me.

I'd never get into a four-year school.

I-I tried to make him see my side, but he said rules are rules.

We argued... and I shoved him into the pool.

And then I just lost it.

You went in after him and shot at him underwater, fracturing your stapes.

I don't even remember how it all happened.

I-I liked Coach, I really did.

But I just lost it.

You sure you don't have any more studying to do?

Well, yeah.

Look, if the subcommittee doesn't like my answers, it's just not meant to be.

That's an excellent answer. You're definitely ready.

I'm ready.

Hey, Sweets was good, by the way.

Very good. Oh, wait a second.

What? You want another partner now?

He wasn't that good, but he did make me realize I should never take you for granted.

So it worked out well for both of us.

You weren't testing me, were you, Booth?

What do you mean?

Well, if you do get this job, maybe we won't be working together anymore, and you wanted to see how that worked out.

Whoa. Wait a second. Oh, let me just tell you one thing.

I told Stark, okay, if you're not with me, I have no interest in that job.

Another excellent answer. Right.

(elevator bell dings) Where is Sweets?

I thought we were going to buy him a drink.

You know what? He said he had something to do.

My guess is, though, he's just tired from doing real work.

Manly work, FBI work.

(clattering)

(man moans, woman moans)

(clattering, man growls)

(items thudding, woman laughs)

(sighs)

(laughs)

Well, that was a good start.

I think I pulled a muscle.

I'd be disappointed if you didn't.

(sighs)

Should we go get that steak and beer now?

I should, uh... I should clean up first.

Just get a new apartment.

What's that mean?