[Gumball, Darwin and other children walk into the library.]
Tree Librarian: Ah, even in this brutal digital world, the children of today still find solace in books. [Sips her coffee and writes something down] Truly the pen is mightier than the sword.
[Gumball, Darwin, Tobias and Sarah play on the library computers.]
Gumball: Dude, did you hear that? Equip the pen!
Gumball: [An explosion is heard in the game] Nope, turns out the bazooka is mightier than the pen. [Another explosion] And the sword. Hey, Tobias! Stop camping!
[Tobias shoots him a look]
Darwin: USE ALT FIRE!
Billy: [Gasps] What is this dazzling juxtaposition of sound and image?
Darwin: It's a video game.
Billy: So these are the video games of which mother warned me! How do they function?
Gumball: See this dude with the muscles of a bodybuilder and the haircut of a Korean pop star? That's me. And I have to blast these monsters over here to save... stuff? [Leaves his seat] Here, try it!
Billy: But is it not dangerous? Mother always says that video games can make one lose contact with reality. That they encourage loose behavior and violent tendencies. Much like rock and roll music, long hair and vaccinations.
Darwin: Um, no? They're just fun.
Billy: Well, I suppose there's no harm in trying it once. [Chuckles] In the name of science of course! [Sits down and starts playing][Screaming] WOAH! THIS IS AMAZING!
[The camera zooms into Billy's eyes, transitioning to various video game scenes. Billy can be heard screaming and laughing; when the sequence stops he falls to the ground drooling.]
Darwin: What was that all about?
Gumball: He didn't even make it past the loading screen!
[The auditorium. Billy has a bandaid on his forehead and Felicity is speaking on stage.]
Felicity: ...and this is why, as president of the parents' association, I call for a total ban on all video games in Elmore.
Mister Small: [Stands up] She's right! Look at what happened to Ocho since he's started gaming! [Shows a picture of Ocho to the audience]
Harold: He doesn't look so bad.
Mister Small: But here's what he used to look like. [He shows a picture of a Jacob Hopkins. The audience gasps.]
Shape Person: Gaming's giving my kids square eyes!
Eggman: [Lisping] Gaming's given my daughter a speech impediment!
Felicity: So we're all in agreement.
Gumball and Darwin: [Barge in, dressed as Nicole and Richard] Not everyone!
Darwin: We are Mr. Dad and Ms. Mom!
Gumball: [Nervously] He means Richard and Nicole Watterson. [They walk onto the stage] And we've found video games to be nothing but a positive influence on our children.
Nicole: This is ridiculous!
Richard: Shh! I think I'm about to say something.
Darwin: Video games can be educational, teach puzzle solving skills, and help the growth of young imaginations.
Nicole: [Walks up to Gumball and Darwin, furious] You two, stop this!
Gumball: Oh my goodness! My son Gumball has dressed up as me and attended the PTA meeting in an attempt to stop this ban! You're in big trouble mister!
Nicole: Okay, "Nicole." I think you should ground your son for a month.
Gumball: Fine! Gumball, you're grounded for a month.
Darwin: Uh, honey?
Gumball: You're right, dear. Two months! But you also get a surprise pool party in your honor with pizza and-
Nicole: Don't push it, little man.
Felicity: Your plea has really made me think about things. Mostly that I should have locked that door. However I admire your determination. I give you three chance to prove your argument that video games can be a force for good. Meeting adjourned! [Makes a gesture] It's a gavel, they wouldn't let me use it.
Principal Brown: [Protectively holding a gavel]
[Felicity repeats her gesture and three heart containers appear in the upper-left corner.]
[The Wattersons' house. Gumball's family is playing a tennis video game in the living room.]
Gumball: You see, people often say that video games are antisocial and make you unhealthy. Well, just take a look at this family sharing some sporty fun together! [Shows a game console package with a happy family on it]
Felicity: What about that family?
[Felicity points to Gumball's family. Richard lies on the dirty couch sipping soda and Nicole flails her remote controller around fiercely.]
Gumball: They're playing together, which is all that matters. Now. Safety first, dear little brother!
Darwin: Of course, dear big brother! [Places the controller's strap around his wrist] The wrist strap. What was I thinking? [Flails the controller but it slips and falls directly into Anais' mouth, who starts choking] Sorry, no hand at the end of the wrist.
Nicole: Come on Anais, we can't lose to these slobs!
Felicity: [Walks up to Richard] This one doesn't look very healthy at all.
Richard: Hey, this is the body of a world class gamer. You're lucky we're not online right now or I'd be saying things I'd never say to your face!
Nicole: Anais, take the shot!
Anais: [Choking noises]
Nicole: Oh, come on! [Picks up Anais and uses her as a remote]
Gumball: [Concerned] Now now, mother, it's only a game!
[Richard and Nicole exchange a few shots, until Nicole inadvertently sends Darwin flying into the TV screen.]
Game announcer: Nicole's team wins!
Darwin: I don't wanna play anymore!
Gumball: Um, how about we switch to a nice fishing game?
[The family switches to a different game but ends up fighting for the controller.]
Gumball: ...well, they're fighting, so technically it's brought them closer together.
[The first heart container vanishes and Gumball falls offscreen.]
[Gumball 'respawns' in the library. Banana Joe plays on the computer.]
Gumball: Okay. Now I'll prove video games don't make kids lose contact with reality. Hey Joe, what are you playing?
Banana Joe: Brick Land! It's a game where you can build anything out of little bricks.
Gumball: Very good, Joe. A game encouraging creativity.
Banana Joe: Right now, I'm building a fireplace in my wooden house. [Fire is heard in the game, goats are bleating] Oh no. Not the goats... THE GOATS ARE ON FIRE! [Screams and covers his monitor with a blanket]
Felicity: That child has no idea what's real and what's not.
Gumball: Yes, but you don't know it was video games that made him that way.
Felicity: What else could have made him like that?
[Felicity walks away and Gumball loses his second heart. Banana Bob walks in with a book in hand.]
Banana Bob: Son, son, son. Stop with this tomfoolery. The fire isn't real, I'll show you what's real. [Hands the book to Joe] Take this book, it is the key to your future.
Banana Joe: How?
Banana Bob: Look, [They look at a poster] "Books pave the road to your future." Come on son, let's time travel! [They run into the wall and splatter against it]
[Gumball makes pointing gestures at Banana Bob and Joe, but Felicity is busy talking with the librarian.]
Tree Librarian: Yes, I agree. Children should read books and not play silly games.
[Gumball and Felicity walk into the schoolyard, where Tina is playing on a handheld console.]
Gumball: A lot of people think that all gamers are unattractive male losers. But look at this majestic female specimen!
Felicity: You must be joking! Look at her face, the lack of natural sunlight has given her skin like a parrot's tongue. [Gumball's arm extends to hide Tina's mouth] And the breath is like a subway in Paris. And the teeth, [He hides Tina's teeth] they're so yellow I thought they were made out of gold. And look at her tiny arms, [He hides Tina's arms] completely shriveled by the lack of exercise. And her nails? [He covers Tina's claws] I've heard of gaming addiction before but I never thought a girl would let herself go to the point of needing a chainsaw to cut her toenails.
Gumball: Yeah, but video games didn't turn her into a giant lizard. It comes from her dad!
Felicity: Oh I see. My dear, do you play video games with your father?
Felicity: Well that explains it, video games made them both monsters. Case closed.
[Gumball's arms retract and slap him in the face as he loses his last life. A Game Over screen appears.]
Voice: Gumball, respawn! Gumball! GUMBALL!
[A sequence shows Felicity unplugging various devices in succession, including a TV, arcade game, and a plane's flight radar.]
Gumball: [Bangs on door] But how are we supposed to entertain ourselves?!
Felicity: You are surrounded by all the greatest classics of literature, that's all you need.
Leslie: [Sighs] This is more boring that having to listen to your friend's band rehearsal.
Carrie: Or having to look at people's baby pictures.
Darwin: Or like, edutainment.
Darwin: Okay, maybe not edutainment.
Gumball: Wait a minute, I got it! The answer was right under our noses. We re...discover making gross noises with our armpits! [Makes fart sounds with his armpits]
Banana Joe: [Screams offscreen]
Darwin: Did you hear that?
Gumball: It's the sound of someone feeling an emotion other than boredom!
[All students run to Banana Joe, who sits near a bookshelf reading "Grimm's Fairy Tales."]
Banana Joe: ...what?
Gumball: You okay?
Banana Joe: Oh! It's this darned book. It's making my hair stand on end!
Gumball: What hair?
Banana Joe: [Points to the top of his head] Hm?
Gumball: Okay. What is it?
Banana Joe: "Grimm's Fairy Tales." There's people getting eaten by wolves, poison, and some old witch getting cooked in an oven...
Gumball: Hmm... [Scratches chin]
Darwin: I can see you're getting an idea.
Gumball: No no, just some leftover food on my chin.
Darwin: Oh. Well I have an idea! [Whispers to Gumball]
Gumball: Hey that's a great idea! I'm gonna pass it off as my own. [Turns to the others] Hey, I have an idea! If our parents think video games are a bad influence, let's see what they think about books! Everyone, start reading!
[Everyone runs screaming except Darwin.]
Darwin: [Stands with crossed arms, then screams and runs]
Gumball: Come on, let's teach our parents a lesson!
[Everyone takes a book and runs towards the exit. The librarian stops them.]
Tree Librarian: Excuse me!
[The librarian stamps their books and they calmly walk towards the door one by one. When everyone has their books they all run out, destroying the door in the process.]
Gumball: Everybody read a book, wreak havoc across the nation. Come on just have a look, there's such violent inspiration.
Egghead 1: "Lord of the Flies" is a book each parent cherishes! The feral kids survive, but the one with glasses perishes!
Tobias, Carmen, Leslie: [Attack Egghead 1]
Darwin: If you want more blood and guts give Shakespeare's plays a try.[Felicity trips over Darwin's shoes]In "Titus Andronicus," a mother gets her son served up in a pie.
Sarah: [Holding a pie with Billy in it]
Billy: You did this to me mother!
Banana Joe: [Dressed as a vampire]Legends, myths and fairy tales, will make their readers shriek and wail.
Sarah: [Falls unconscious]
Banana Joe: [Takes a bite from Sarah]
Penny: "Red Riding Hood" is pretty bizarre,[Shapeshifts into her wolf form]where a wolf dresses up as a girl's grandma.
Patrick and Mrs. Fitzgerald: [Scream]
Alan: I've read Greek myths just like you sir, when they get beheaded like Medusa.
[Gumball turns his hand into scissors and cuts Alan's rope. Alan's parents and Principal Brown are shocked.]
Gumball: And I read "The Tortoise and the Hare," a tale of torture and despair![Places a hare and a tortoise on stage and points a finger at them] FIGHT!
Darwin: You haven't read that one have you?
Gumball: Er, no.
Tobias: If you read Dicken's "Oliver Twist," you'd shut the library door and lock it![Steals Harold's purse and Jackie's necklace]It's all about these homeless kids who learn how to pickpocket!
Felicity: Okay I get it, that's enough! Fiction should be banned!
Gumball: But history books are just as bad! Perhaps a rap will help you understand! Juke, hit it.
[Gumball, Penny, Darwin, Carmen, Carrie and Juke are facing the camera.]
It's just words, words, words.
Cover to cover.
Bound with a spine, word to your mother.
But books are the same, every story to video games.
They're just as gory.
Romeo, oh Romeo.
[Gumball and Penny hold empty glasses and pretend to drink out of them.]
Gumball: [Rapping]Romeo is your homie-o.
[Gumball and Penny play dead.]
To be or not to be,
That's the question for a G.
"Huck Finn's Adventures" by Mark Twain.
All these books are driving me insane.
So who should really get the blame,
Are books as bad as video games?
[The students run off and start reenacting scenes from several books. First Darwin draws a lightning bolt on his forehead and runs into a brick wall pushing a shopping cart. Then Penny shoots an arrow at Felicity.]
Sussie: Off with their heads!
Tobias: Thar she blows!
[An arrow hits Richard's forehead. The background music gets faster and faster as the kids run around screaming, until Felicity puts an end to it.]
Felicity: Alright, alright! STOP! What exactly are you trying to say here?
Billy: [Walks up to Felicity] Mother, allow me to elucidate. We phrased myriad issues here today - censorship, parenting, making gross noises with one's armpit - but the argument is thus: video games are shouldering the burden of a deeper problem. It's not the material that's to blame, but how parents teach their children to respond to it.
Felicity: My gosh Billy, you're right! Books can be as dangerous as video games. There's only one reasonable thing to do.
Richard: Become better parents and look after our children in a sensible way?
[Cut to the parents burning a pile of book outside the school, under the horrified gaze of their children. Episode ends.]