Mrs. Clonkers: You get back at once! Come to me in the morning!
Sophie: Yes, Miss.
Sophie: Oh no!
The BFG: (yawning)
The BFG: Now, then… What has us got here? Hmm? I’s hungry.
Sophie: Oh, please don’t!
The BFG: Hmm?
Sophie: Please, Don’t eat me.
The BFG: Hm, a Ha Ha, Ha Ha, I’s spots what you is thinking, Because I’s a Giant, You’s reckon’s I’s gonna gobble you up, -n- Crunch your bones.
Sophie: No… Please!
The BFG: You’s reading in books where Giant’s eating up little girls fer supper -n- snacks?
Sophie: Yes… Don’t they?
The BFG: Oh, Yes. That’s is what Giant is doing. All the Giants in Giant Country all kannibaliy and murderful. They’s guzeling up Human beans every night.
The BFG: Yeah, Human beans like you’s. Bone Crunching Giant… He likes turkey best.
Sophie: Oh, turkey, that’s not a human being, it’s a bird.
The BFG: No, no. The Bone Cruncher not eat birds. He’s creaping off to Turkey every night to eat Turks. for their special flavor.
Sophie: What flavor? Turkey?
The BFG: No. Turks from Turkey is tastin’ of turkish delight. What does you think Human beans from Brazil tasts of then? Hmm?
Sophie: Um… Coffee?
The BFG: Wrong, they tastes of Brazil nuts. What about Sweden? Hm?
Sophie: Oh, that’s easy. Sweets?
The BFG: Hm Hm, a Ha Ha, Ha Ha! Sweat? No.
The BFG: Ha, You’s wrong again. Sweds from Sweden is all tasting Sweet n Sour. Panama?
The BFG: Panama, Panama. Panama. Come on.
Sophie: I don’t know. Uh, Canals.
The BFG: Canals. Your head is emptier than one bungdongle! Hat. See? Human beans from Panama is tasting strongly of Hats.
Sophie: All right then, what sort of flavor am I going to be when you eat me?
The BFG: What? Me? Gobbling up human beans? All the others, yes, but not me! I is a nice giant! I is a freaky giant! There’s not another giant like me in all of Giant Country! I… is the Big Friendly Giant. The BFG! That’s me. Does you have a name?
Sophie: Yes, my name is Sophie.
The BFG: Sofie. Hm. Well now, is you liking some supper, Sofie?
Sophie: Um…You’re really not going to eat me?
The BFG: Of course I’s not eating you. I’s eating sonscumber. Does you want some?
Sophie: What it tastes like?
The BFG: It tastes disgusterous. It..well…it’s rotsom. It’s sickable. It tastes slimewanglers and cockroaches. Ooo, try a bit.
Sophie: I, I, I don’t think I will thank you. What esle is there?
The BFG: Ellse? a ha ha ha ha! Else! does you think I would guzzle this revoltion sonscumber if there was else?
Sophie: I suppose you wouldn’t.
The BFG: If Giants does not eat Human beans, they has to eat sonscumber. ‘Tis all what grows ‘round here.
Sophie: Oh, do I have to?
The BFG: Well, Yes… … less you want’s to be nothing but skin and groans
Sophie: You mean skin and bones.
The BFG: What I means and what I says, is two different things. I give you just a snipsy bit. Go on.
Sophie: Uhh, It’s like frog skins and rotton fish.
The BFG: Mm, its foulsome and maggonwise isn’t it, Eh?
Sophie: Couldn’t you get some other food? You could pick carrots and cauliflower just around our village. And apples.
The BFG: Wha?, never. I is a very honorable Giant. I does not go snitching things.
Sophie: You snitched me.
The BFG: Yes… And, now, I… … I cant’ help thinking about your poor mother and father.
Sophie: I don’t have a mother and a father. They died when I was a baby.
The BFG: You is an norphan, then?
Sophie: Yes. Where you took me from, that was the orphanage.
The BFG: Norphanages is nice and jumbly places, Eh?
Sophie: All except ours.
The BFG: Doesn’t you have happy there?
Sophie: I hate it. If you do the slightest thing wrong, Mrs. Clonkers give you punishments.
The BFG: How punishments?
Sophie: Well, If you don’t fold your clothes properly, or something, she locks you in the cellar.
The BFG: What a rotton old rotrasper.
Sophie: She leaves us in the dark, and there are great big rats down there. You get really freightened.
The BFG: That is the horridous thing I’s hear’d in years. (crying) You poor little scrumplet.
Sophie: Please don’t cry… … B..BFG.
The BFG: I’s can’t help it! You’s makin’ me so sad.
Sophie: It’s alright. I’m not there anymore, am I?
The BFG: No, but you is here… … and those other Giants will swollow you up if they catchs one tiny glimp of you. And it’s my fault, because I kidsnached you.
Sophie: Why did you?
The BFG: Because if I has not wiggels you away… … yous let around everybody hows yous seen a Giant. And then they come huntin’ me, capturin’ me, and putting me in a zoo.
Sophie: That’s true.
The BFG: So, you will just has to be stayin’ here, with me.
Sophie: What, forever? Who will look after me?
The BFG: Well, me, The BFG! I is going to be your mother, your father and your antie, and your ancle.
The BFG: You can help me with the dreams.
Sophie: But how can you help someone with a dream?
The BFG: Hey, can you keep a whopsy big secret?
The BFG: My job is to go scuddling out every night… when all people is fast asleep.
The BFG: Hello! Hello, Bloodbottler!
Bloodbottler: What’s you got in here?
The BFG: Nothing. I’s not got anything.
Bloodbottler: You been talkin’ in here arn’ts ya?
The BFG: Talkin’? No no. Or… Yes, yes… I, I was talking to myself. You… you know me.
Bloodbottler: Smell Human beans. Gimme! Come on. Gimme.
The BFG: No, no, there is no human being here. What would I want with a Human being?
Bloodbottler: Eat him. Crunch his bones up, yeah.
The BFG: You knows I’s not eating Human beans, Blood Bottler? I’s has my scroscumber. It’s Scrumdidlydumpcious. Why is you not trying some?
Bloodbottler: What’s it taste of?
The BFG: It’s like bitsy fruits, pineapples.
The BFG: Aaah! And, bones. Yes, it tastes like bones. Snoscumbers does.
Bloodbottler: Tastes like bones, Eh?
The BFG: Bones is good, yes.
The BFG: Oh No, stop!
Bloodbottler: Is my bones. That goo does not taste like bones.
The BFG: Oh, Sofie. What has I done? Uh? Sofie. Where is you?
Sophie: Over here!
The BFG: Sofie! You is alive.
Sophie: I think so. I was right inside his mouth.
The BFG: I knows you was.
Sophie: It smelled horrible. He nearly swallowed me. It was awful. Then he tasted the snoscumber.
The BFG: Did he hurt you?
Sophie: Not really. He hurt you though.
The BFG: Me? No, I is as right as snow.
Sophie: It’s rain.
The BFG: Mh? Is it? Where?
Sophie: No, I mean the saying. It’s as right as rain.
The BFG: Oh, is it? I has such twitchtickeling problems, you see, with words. I does try my best, all the time, but there is not schools in Giant Country to teach me.
Sophie: I love the way you talk.
The BFG: Does you? Does you really? There.
Sophie: This nighty needs a wash. Oh, this is lovely. BF… BFG?
The BFG: Hmm?
Sophie: What where you doing in our village last night?
The BFG: that is private and confidential.
Sophie: Tell me what you were doing with that trumpet? I saw you blowing it.
The BFG: Ah, now you is getting nosier that a barker.
Sophie: I wont ask any more questions.
The BFG: Alright, if you really wants to know… I was blowing a dream into the childrens bedrooms.
Sophie: Blowing a dream?
The BFG: Yes, that’s my job. When all the other Giants is galloping off to gobble up Human beans… … I is taking dreams around in my old suitcase. Nice dreams for little chitlens.
Sophie: You can’t take dreams in a suitecase, Dreams are in your head.
The BFG: I knew you was never understanding. I is not telling you anymore.
Sophie: Oh, Please.
The BFG: I is not saying anything more to you until you is dressed.
Sophie: Oh, you just made that for me?
The BFG: It’s nothing very much, you can try it on if you want.
Sophie: I’ve never had a new dress before. I’ve always wanted one. And a nice place to live, like you would.
The BFG: Ah, it’s time you is having fifty winks?
Sophie: I’m not tired. Can I have a drink of water, please?
The BFG: There is no water for drinking. There is only fropskottel.
Sophie: Oh, ‘supose it’s slimmy and sickable like the snoscumber.
The BFG: Na, that is where you is wrong. Fropskottel is sweet beachy. It is warming the muscles of you heart.
The BFG: Ah, here is fropskottel. Is you ever seeing such delumptioustries?
Sophie: Oh look, it’s fizzing in the wrong way. The bubbles go down, instead of up.
The BFG: Of course, bubbles is not going up.
Sophie: They do where I come from.
The BFG: Bubbles going up is a flushbunking desastraphy.
The BFG: If bubbles is fizzing upwards, they will be coming out in a foulsom belching burp.
Sophie: Yes, but that’s alright, isn’t it?
The BFG: Alright? it’s catasterous. Giant’s is never doing it.
Sophie: But if bubbles go down, well they might… …they might come out somewhere else.
The BFG: Yes, you is exunctly right.
Sophie: Well that would make a much worse noise wouldnt it.
The BFG: A wiz popper.
The BFG: A wizzpopper. It’s a sign of happiness. It is gulifying music.
Sophie: Not it’s not, it’s very rude.
The BFG: You Human beans is making wizzpoppers. Isn’t you?
Sophie: Well, yes, but…
The BFG: Of course you is. Everybody is. (singing) When you’s get a bottle, of fabulous rumbugle, It bubbles, and giggles, it’s part of the plan, It’s yummy, and glummy, it jiggles your tummy, And soons, set off with, a whizzpopping bang! It certain as exits and exits, A couple of cases probgole, Makes you feel grand, But juggling and gurgling, It seems too observing, Why people don’t whizzpopple, all over the land! (speaking) Now taste it!
Sophie: It’s-it’s fantastic!
The BFG: That is only the beginning. Here comes a whizzpopper!
Sophie: I hope you’re not going to be rude.
The BFG: (singing) Whizzpop, whizzbang, feel the bubbles go down! Whizzbang, whizzpop, bursting all around! Whizzpop, whizzbang, take it nice and slow- You’s never stopping, the fabulous feeling of whizzpoping Wherever you go! (speaking) You try it!
The BFG: (singing) It starts with a sip of a tingling tip, That tickles your tongue, Then it stops, Then it waits for the moment of truth, As it hits the roof and the fizzle bit, Makes you googly eyed, And suddenly it sunders inside.
Sophie: I can feel the bubbles trickling down in my tummy I think I’m going to…
The BFG: (singing) Whizzpop, whizzbang, feel the bubbles go down! Whizzbang, whizzpop, bursting all around! Whizzpop, whizzbang, take it nice and slow- You’s never stopping, the fabulous feeling of whizzpoping Wherever you go!
Humplecrimp: Uh oh.
The BFG: (singing) It feels like a rocket, goes off in your pocket, And all of a sudden you’s up in the air, It bubbles and fizzes and pubbles, And whizzes and do things you never dare! There’s nothing to but don’t over do it, The popgoble doesn’t go to your head. It causes the shotses That blows up your sockes. So don’t be tempted to drink it in bed! Whizzpop, whizzbang, feel the bubbles go down! Whizzbang, whizzpop, bursting all around! Whizzpop, whizzbang, take it nice and slow- You’s never stopping, the fabulous feeling of whizzpoping Wherever you go! You’s never stopping, the fabulous feeling of whizzpop………ing (speaking) You is very good for a beginner. Does you want some more?
The BFG: Sofie… Sofie
Sophie: Oh, What time is it?
The BFG: Time? Time to get up. Time for work.
Sophie: Where are we going?
The BFG: To Dream Country. We’s off to collect some dreams.
Fleshlumpeater: Oye, come here. Where you think your going? HUH! Is not dark yet.
The BFG: No, Fleshlumpeater. I is just walk ‘round.
Fleshlumpeater: I let you go… this time.
The BFG: Whew, He was in a nasty croching mood.
Sophie: Nasty mood? I thought he was going to kill you.
The BFG: No. Giants does not kill other Giants. They is not like a Human beans.
Sophie: What do you mean?
The BFG: Eh, It’s only Human beans that shoot and bombs and kills eachother. No other animals is doing it.
Sophie: Cats kill mice.
The BFG: Hu hu, They does not kill other cats, does they?
Sophie: Is Dream Country inside this mountain?
The BFG: Ah, you wait and see. I has something very extrausual to show you.
Sophie: Oh, whatever is it?
The BFG: It is the dreamway. The stairway into Dream Country. I is never letting anybody see it before.
Sophie: Oh, dear. What do we do no…Ahh!
The BFG: This is one very woolly trip. Now, you is in Dream Country.
Sophie: Am I really the first person ever to come here?
The BFG: Well of course you is. Not even other Giants is ever coming here.
The BFG: Shh! There is dreams all ‘round here.
The BFG: There. Listen.
Sophie: I can’t hear…
The BFG: Shh! Missed it.
Sophie: Missed what?
The BFG: I mis…ah, Ah, there’s one! Ah, Quick, quick, quick, quick, quick. Open a jar, open a jar. Ah, Ah.
Sophie: I know there’s nothing in there.
The BFG: It’s a wigsquibbler. No, no, no, even better: A fizwigen… A golden fizwigen.
Sophie: I suppose they’re very rare.
The BFG: Oh, they is the rarest of all. Oh yes. There may be swarms up there today. Ups we go…oos.
Sophie: There is something there.
The BFG: Of course there is. Quick, quick, I got another one.
Sophie: Please can I come up with you and see?
The BFG: Is you…beling…now?
Sophie: Oh, yes!
The BFG: Then, come on. Ahup…we go…oos!
Sophie: I can’t. I don’t know how.
The BFG: You is never doing anything, unless you try.
Sophie: Ups…we…goes. BFG…I’m flying.
The BFG: Ha Ha, Sofie?
♪ Sometimes, secretly ♪
♪ we’d all like to know ♪
♪ of somewhere save in dreams. ♪
♪ where no one else can go ♪
♪ Away from the crowd ♪
♪ where nothing is louder ♪
♪ than magic all falling around. ♪
♪ and you tumble and glide ♪
♪ on a magical ride ♪
♪ Don’t wake, you’d have to come down ♪
♪ Sometimes, secretly ♪
♪ we’d all need to know ♪
♪ There’s somewhere deep in dreams ♪
♪ where only we can go ♪
♪ If you could stay forever…would you. ♪
Sophie: Quick, look, there’s one behind you. Catch it.
♪ Somewhere safe in dreams ♪
♪ Where no one else can go. ♪
The BFG: Look out, look out. Gotchoo.
Sophie: What is it? What have you cought?
The BFG: A Trugglehumpter.
Sophie: An animal?
The BFG: Oh, No, it is a dream. The horridous, evil dream of all.
Sophie: Why are we keep it then?
The BFG: Takes it home, locks it away. And then no little toddlers will be having scarry nightmares.
Sophie: Oh, let’s get it home. Where are we going?
The BFG: We cannot be leaving all the tiny toddlers without their dreams? We just has to pack up our suitcase first.
Sophie: What Here?
The BFG: No. Here, in my dream cave.
Sophie: Oh, BFG, it’s like heaven.
The BFG: These dreams. All dreams. Sometimes I comes down here jus… just to looks at them.
Sophie: I could look at them forever. It… It’s magic.
The BFG: Dreams is very mysterious things, but they’is not magic. Dreams is real, like this frightsome Trugglehumpter. Now we’s has to go and locks him away with all the other nasty grobswitches. Now he won’t be scaring any little chitlers.
Sophie: What are you doing?
The BFG: I is writing my labels… …so I’s knowing what is in the bottles.
Sophie: Can you really tell what the dream is just by listening to it? All I can here is a sort of tinkling.
The BFG: Oh, you has very good ears. That is dream music. Sort of language.
Sophie: What does it mean?
The BFG: Oh, it’s just a dream about a little boy who is becoming…invisible.
Sophie: Great, can we take it with us?
The BFG: I hs to give it an ending…first.
Sophie: How do you mean?
The BFG: You Human beans does not know much, does you? Dreaming is not like stories. Dreams is more like… … like pictures in books. If I’s wanting to makes a story I’s has to mix up lots of dreams together.
The BFG: Ah, here it is, and ending.
Sophie: I is not liking algebra… … so I is frightening Mr. Gromit… … my algebra teacher til he runs away. Ha, that’s good. A boy would like that ending.
The BFG: Yes, of couse he would, It’s a winksquibbler. Soon we is finding somebody to give it to.
Sophie: What about that one! How can you tell what to choose?
The BFG: I justs get a tinkly feeling… … when I’s peeks into the bedroom, then I is knowing. Pressing his tummy button makes him invisible. Come on, come on.
Sophie: Oh, I want to see him frighten his teacher.
Mr. Gromit: I say…What happens? Help, help, it’s ghosts and ducks…
The BFG: Quick, quick. We cannot… we cannont be waiting all night. We has dillions of dreams to blow. Come on, come on.
Sophie: Give then the one where there’s clowns and the circus. I wan to see. This is the best fun, I’ve every had, in my life.. It’s like beein in a…
The BFG: Shh
Sophie: Oh BFG, stop him. No. Noo..! You, You, You just ran away! W, We, We could have stopped him!
The BFG: I is never stopping him… …He would just punch me down and kick me.
Sophie: You’re a coward!
The BFG: Yes, though I is running away to save you?
Sophie: I don’t want to be saved, I want to save the other children… …before anymore disappear!
The BFG: Hm, there’s going to be lots more dissapearing tonight.
Sophie: What do you mean?
The BFG: I is hearing them talking… …and they is finding themself a whole school, with little girls in it.
Sophie: Oh, no.
The BFG: Ya, and another one with little boys in it. They is going there tonight.
The BFG: Is where I sniched you from: Is England.
Sophie: Oh, BFG, we’ve got to stop them.
The BFG: Oh, there’s not anything we can do.
Sophie: There must be! W, We’ll get somebody to help us.
The BFG: And who’s going to be helping us?
Sophie: Well, if we go back and tell somebody, they’ll, come and, and put them in prison.
The BFG: Yes, and they put me in a zoo. Put you back in your norphanage. Human beans is not famous for kindness, is they? They’s all drinksludges.
Sophie: No they is not! I mean are not. Not all of them.
The BFG: Oh, well who then?
Sophie: Well there’s, there’s the Queen of England. You can’t call her a drinksludger.
The BFG: Well..
Sophie: And you can call her a squigpip or a scruffelrotter either. Yes, that’s what we’ll do, we’ll go to the queen.
The BFG: She’ll never believe in you in a month of monday.
Sophie: We’ll make her believe us.
The BFG: How?
Sophie: I do not know. It’s like you said in Dream Country, You is never doing anything unless you try. Dream Country. BFG, wait. Listen. Can you make a person dream absolutly anything… … anything in the world?
The BFG: Uh, course I can. If the dream is in my collection.
Sophie: Well, would you have any dreams about me? And you? And, um, about Giants eating children?
The BFG: One…little bit here and stir…there. And a titching bit more of you. And a big swollop of this, and Yes… Yes, it will comming. There he is. Yes, it’s all in there just like you told me. I hope this idear of yours is going to be working.
Sophie: I hope so too.
The BFG: We is lost.
Sophie: No we’re not. We must be nearly there.
The BFG: Well, I’s hearing duck quackeling down below. We’s in the countryside.
Sophie: No, it must be St. James’ Park. Fly down. That’s Buckingham Palace over there. Come on.
The BFG: Where is the queen sleeping, Sofie?
Sophie: I do not know. We have to search.
The BFG: No. No. Only some doggies in there. This is a lady. Take a look-see.
Sophie: Yes, That’s her. Now we just have to wait.
The BFG: You shure you will be alright?
Sophie: Yes. Bye.
Sophie (flashback): Please, don’t eat me.
The BFG (flashback): All the other giants are kannibaly, muderfull….
Sophie (flashback): My name is Sofie.
The BFG (flashback): I is a nice giant.
Bloodbottler (flashback): Eat him. Crack his bones up. Yeah.
The BFG (flashback): The BFG! That’s me.
Sophie (flashback): No!
The BFG (flashback): There’ll be lots more disappearings tonight.
Sophie (flashback): I don’t want to be saved, I want to save the other children.
The BFG (flashback): A whole school, with little girls in it.
Queen of England: No! No!
Queen of England: No, don’t let them do it.
Sophie (flashback): We’ve got to stop them. We go to the queen.
Mary: Good morning, Your Majesty. Oh, it is a nice day outside, ma’am.
Queen of England: is it? O Mary, I’ve had the most awefull nightmare. I dreamed that great gastly Giants were snatching little boys and girls out of their beds at school… … and eating them. Mary, what on earths the matter?
Mary: It’s your dream, ma’am. It’s in the papers.
Queen of England: In the papers? Oh, Good heavens. Tragic horror as children slain. Bones found beneath dormatory windows. Oh, how absolutly frightful.
Mary: Oh, how did you get in there?
Queen of England: I, I simply don’t believe it.
Marry: I don’t know what this place is comming to, really I don’t! Now, come on downstairs. Oh, you’ll be sorry, you will.
Queen of England: No, Mary, wait a moment. Now, tell me truthfully… … is there’s a little girl on the windowsill?
Mary: Yes, ma’am. there is, ma’am. As plain as the nose on me face.
Queen of England: Yes, but you see, I dreamed there would be a little girl sitting there.
Mary: Oh, Well, well, there is ma’am, isn’t there. I mean look.
Queen of England: Little girl, come here please. You are real, aren’t you?
Sophie: Yes, Your Majesty.
Queen of England: And your name is Sofie?
Sophie: Yes, Your Majesty.
Queen of England: You were the girl in my dream. How did you get in?
Mary: She wan’t there last night, ma’am, I’ll swear to it.
Sophie: I think you dreamed that, you Majesty.
Queen of England: Yes… …yes, I did. I dreamed that a very tall Giant put you there, and that he’s waiting outside now in the garden.
Sophie: That’s right, he is.
Mary: Oh, O Lord preserve us.
Sophie: You needn’t be frightend, he’s my friend. He’s lovely.
Queen of England: I’m sure he is, but why have you and your friend come to see me.
Sophie: Didn’t you dream that as well your Majesty?
Queen of England: Yes. No you come to mention it…I did. You were going to help us capture those terrible monsters. The ones who ate the children.
Mary: I don’t think I’m feeling very well.
Sophie: You did dream it!
Queen of England: But how did you know what I was dreaming?
Sophie: The BFG can explain that, if you let me call him.
Queen of England: BFG?
Sophie: That stands for Big Friendly Giant. He’s…
Queen of England: … in the garden. I know. Very well, Sofie. You may call him.
Sophie: BFG, you can come out now.
Mary: Giants in the garden. I never heard anything so ridiculous in all my born, Oh…
Sophie: Here he is. This is the B…F…G.
The BFG: Your Majester, I is your humbug servant.
Queen of England: We are very pleased to meet you.
The BFG: O Qeen, O Majester, O Golden Sovereign, O Sultana. I is comming here with my little friend, Sofie To save you from… …Awefull Barrel.
Sophie: He means Perril. He does speak a bit funny sometimes.
Queen of England: I think you speak english perfectly.
The BFG: O Majester. How wondercrump. I is all of a, a shudder. I has great secrets to tell you Majester.
Queen of England: I should be delighted to hear them. Would you care to join us for breakfast?
The BFG: Oh, will it be stinky snoscumbers, Majister?
Queen of England: I beg you pardon.
Sophie: No, it won’t. It’ll be something nice like… eggs and baccon.
Queen of England: Mary, call Mr. Tipps about breakfast, would you? Mary? Mary? Oh, dear.
The BFG: It’s getting better every time, this, eggs and bakeing.
Mr. Tibbs: Thank you, sir. Chef will be delighted to know that.
Queen of England: Oh, Tipps, while Mr. BFG is finishing breakfast would you summon the head of the army… … and the Air Force. Say it’s an emergency.
Mr. Tibbs: Very good ma’am.
The BFG: Doesn’t yous have any fropskottel here? For wizzpopping?
Sophie: No. Shh.
The BFG: Oh, well, I cans be wizzpopping… without…if I wants to.
Sophie: Well you musn’t.
The BFG: Wha…no wizzpopping? None jullifying music?
Queen of England: Oh, do let him sing if he wants.
Sophie: He doesn’t wamt to sing.
Queen of England: I enjoy music at breakfast. In Scotland they played the bagpipes outside my window.
The BFG: Wizzpopping is better than baglpipes, Majister.
Queen of England: Ah, Ha, Ha, I’m sure it is. Please play something.
Sophie: No, you’re not to.
The BFG: I cannot be disobeying, Her Majister, the Queen.
Queen of England: I think… on the whole… I prefer the bagpipes.
Head of the Air Force: I suppose it’s about these bally children.
Head of the Army: What children?
Head of the Air Force: The ones who have dissapeared last night.
Head of the Army: Oh, them, load of nonsense. You know what children are? They make it all up.
Head of the Air Force: Yes…They did find bones, though, and Giant footprints.
Head of the Army: Bones? Rubbish. Giant footprints? Poppycock. They make it all up I tell ya.
Head of the Air Force: Yes, of course. They’re always causing bally trouble. Good morning, Your Majesty.
Head of the Army: Good morning, Your Majesty.
Queen of England: Good morning, gentlemen. Thank you for comming so quickly.
Head of the Air Force: Tipps said it was an emergency, your Majesty.
Queen of England: Yes, you have heard the dreadful news of the dissapearing children?
Head of the Army: Oh, yeah. Absolute load of poppy…
Head of the Air Force: Mm, Mm, Hm…
Head of the Army: What? Oh, Oh, absolutely shocking, Your Majesty. Terrible.
Head of the Air Force: For sure there’s a perfectly simple explanation.
Queen of England: There is. They were eaten by Giants.
Head of the Army: Don’t think we shoud jump to that conclusion, ma’am.
Queen of England: You don’t?
Head of the Air Force: Oh, well, Giants, your Majesty… …I mean, uh, we know the don’t, uh… …Well…
Queen of England: Yes?
Head of the Air Force: Um..exsist… do they? Uh, Anymore. What?
Head of the Army: You see, you Majesty… Let’s take this business of the footprints… …our intellegence says they were six feet long.
Queen of England: Yes.
Head of the Army: Well that means that if they were real footprints… …whatever made them would have to be… …well, let me see, how high?
Queen of England: That high?
Head of the Army: Yes, at least that… Wha…? Uh..?
Head of the Air Force: D, Do, Don’t worry, you Majesty. We’ll protect you.
Head of the Army: It’s alright, little girl, D, D, D, Don’t be frightened.
Queen of England: Gentlemen, may I intruduce: Sofie.
Head of the Air Force: How, How, How do you do?
Head of the Army: How do you do?
Queen of England: And this is our friend: Mr. BFG.
Head of the Army: Go, Good, Good morning, Sir.
Head of the Air Force: Good morning, Sir.
The BFG: Ooo gunghumers and bogswinkels. What is that?
Queen of England: It was Louis XV.
The BFG: Alright men, ats your easles.
Queen of England: Now, I should like you to listen very carefully to what he has to say.
Head of the Army: Good heavens. What an appauling story. How many of these brutes are there?
The BFG: Um, Well, there’s Manhugger, the Meatdripper, the Childchewer, Butcher Boy… … Um…
Sophie: The Bloodbottler.
The BFG: Yes, yes, the Bloodbottler, Maidmasher, the Fleshlumpeater, oh and Bonecruncher … … the Gizzardgulper… That, that, that is…um…
The BFG: Yes, nine.
Head of the Air Force: Gosh, as many as that, eh?
Head of the Army: The strategy is quite simple Your Majesty. Tanks!
Head of the Air Force: Tanks? Nonsense. Bombs!
Head of the Army: Bombs? Ridiculous. Tanks… and heavy artillery!
Head of the Air Force: Artilley? Piffle. Next thing you’ll be wanting bally cavalry too.
Head of the Army: Tanks, artillery and cavalry! That’ll do it!
Head of the Air Force: Modern warfare ma’am demands modern technology. Low-level assault bombers to get under their radar. High-explosive bombs… heat-seeking rockets, and pow! We’ll blow them to pieces!
Head of the Army: It’s an old fashioned enemy ma’am, we need good old fashioned tactics! Shut them up with bombardment! Roll in the tanks! And pick ‘em off with machine guns! Dakka-dakka-dakka-dakka! We’ll mow ‘em down!
Head of the Air Force: Kapow! Kaboom! Bombs!
Head of the Army: Dakka-dakka-dakka-dakka! Kabomf! Tanks!
Head of the Air Force: Kaboom!
Head of the Army: Kabomf!
Queen of England: Gentelmen.
Head of the Army and Head of the Air Force: Yes, Your Majesty.
Queen of England: There will be no bombs… and guns.
Head of the Army: Beg pardon, ma’am
Queen of England: The Giants are not to be hurt.
Head of the Air Force: Not hurt, ma’am?.. but they eat children. They, They’re murderers.
Queen of England: That is no reason to follow their example.
The BFG: Exunctly. Two rights is not makeing a left.
Head of the Army: But that ties us big as ears. How can we capture them without guns?
Head of the Air Force: And without bombs.
Sophie: I know a way.
Head of the Army: Without guns, ma’am, we’d be sending our men to their… What?
Sophie: I know how you can capture them.
Head of the Army: Head of the Army: Well, of course, it can be done. Can’t it?
Head of the Air Force: Oh, Yes, yes, of course it can. How?
Sophie: Well, the Giants go out at night, you see… …so in the daytime they’re fast asleep. So, if you…
Seargent: Blimey, he’s a big feller, in’t he. All right, you lot, settle down.
Head of the Army: All right, forward men… …nothing to be…scared of.
Seargent: Are you alright, lad? Okay, son. I got you. Army group to flight leader… request capture net immidately.
Solider: Flight leader to army group… …on our way.
Sophie: They’ve done it.
The BFG: Yes. Some Human beings is not greensludges. They’s very brave. Come on, come on. I’s getting something for her Majester.
Seargent: Good work, lads. All done, Sir. Couple of lads injured, nothing serious.
Head of the Army: Well done, Seargent. You can get your helicopters in now.
Seargent: Oh, we won’t be needin’ the last one, Sir. There was only eight of ‘em.
Head of the Army: Funny, He said their were nine.
Head of the Air Force: You know he can’t talk english, He probably can’t count either.
Seargent: Get down! Take Cover!
Fleshlumpeater: B…F…G… B…F…G… I comeing for you.
The BFG: Quick, quick, hide.
Sophie: BFG, come back.
The BFG: There is only me to stop him now. I does not want to be a coward.
Sophie: You’re not a coward. I’m Sorry. Oh, please, come back.
Fleshlumpeater: You… you show ‘em the way?
The BFG: Yes! Yes, I showed them the way!
Fleshlumpeater: Why? What for?
The BFG: Because… you is evil! And I sees it now!
Fleshlumpeater: You… you is not giant! You is like… human bean!
The BFG: Human… being! Yes, I’d rather be like one of them than like you!
Fleshlumpeater: Yeah? Then… I kill you!
The BFG: Wait!
Sophie: No, leave him alone.
The BFG: Wha…?
Fleshlumpeater: Come here. Human bean. Mmm. Ah, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha! Ah, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha!
Fleshlumpeater: B…F…G. No! get away! Go away Jack. No, Jack, No beanstalk.
The BFG: Sofie? Sofie. My little Sophie.
Sophie: Oh, BFG, you saved me.
The BFG: Oh, I’s not saving you, you, you is saving me..
Sophie: Did you blow hime that awefull trugglehumber?
The BFG: Yes! Oh, I’s glad we’s catching it now.
Sophie (voiceover): But what was it a dream about?
The BFG (voiceover): It’s about Jack.
Sophie (voiceover): Jack?
The BFG (voiceover): Yuh. Jack is the only thing Giant’s is frightened of… …He’s a famous and terrible Giant Killer.
Sophie (voiceover): He doen’t have a beanstalk, does he?
The BFG (voiceover): Oh, Yes. Yous knows about him too? O, I’s very scared of meeting him one day.
Sophie (voiceover): Well, you needn’t be. (laughing)
The BFG (voiceover): Why is we laughing, Sofie? (laughing)
Sophie: I’ll tell you later. (laughing)
Queen of England: To the brave men who led the capture the Giants… … and helped lock them safely lock them away forever… …we award the Queens gold medal for gallentry. For Sofie, who has nowhere to live… …now that we have closed down Ms. Clonkers Orphanage… …we are making a new home here, in our Palace. She, and her friends from the orphanage, can live here, with us, for as long as they wish. We shall consider what do with Ms. Clonkers, later.
The BFG: Ms. Clonkers can be feeding the Giants, your Majester.
Queen of England: Oh, I don’t think we want them eating any more people.
The BFG: Not people, Majester. Stinky snoscumbers. Yulk! That is all those Giants is haveing to eat now.
Queen of England: And Mrs. Clonkers can be their keeper. And finally, to our friend, the BFG… …we are giveing our tallest and most splended royal castle. …so that he can live there for the rest of his life.
The BFG: O noble Majester… … I thanks you from the bottom of my… …of my…
The BFG: My heart. It’s a very great honor you is doing me. But I must be tootling off now.
Queen of England: You’re not going?
Sophie: You’re not going?
The BFG: Oh, I’s has my work to do, you see, Majister. I’s has my dreams to blow. I can not be stopping.
Queen of England: I quite understand. One always has responsibilities.
The BFG: Exuctly. Goodbye, Majester.
Queen of England: Goodbye, and thank you.
The BFG: Goodbye, Human beings. You has a nice place to live now, like you is always wanting.
The BFG: No more snoscumbers, eh?
Sophie: He, he, No.
The BFG: No more Giants, Hm?
Sophie: No, no more Giants. Oh, BFG, I’m going to miss you, so much.
The BFG: I is always missing you, to… Take care of her, Majester.
Queen of England: I’m sure he’ll be back to see us…sometimes.
Sophie: But, I didn’t want to see him, sometimes. I wanted to be with him, always.
The BFG: Does you? Sofie?
Sophie: Yes, of course I do.
The BFG: Is you sure?
The BFG: I is not haveing any… any Palace for you.
Sophie: I know.
The BFG: Well, let’s be going home then. We has dreams waiting for us.