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Rugrats in Paris: The Movie
  • Tommy: Come along, faithful viewers, on our journey through the rain forest as we search for that very unusable creature, the three-toed sloth. Ah, there he is! Teething with life. Let's get a closer look, shall we?
  • Chuckie: Oh, no, you don't! Cut! Cut!
  • Tommy: Don't worry, Chuckie. I'm Nigel Strawberry, wild animal expert. And 'cause I'm an expert, I say, everybody into the truck!
  • Chuckie: Go, go, go.
  • Lil: Jump Tommy, jump! Say something, Nigel.
  • Tommy: I can hear the tiger's running feets, see his sharp teeths, and oh, oh... I feel a cool breeze. Crocogator! Not to worry, guys!
  • Kimi: Oh, no!
  • Lil: It's coming back!
  • Tommy: But that was my onliest cute toy!
  • Chuckie: Then feed him Phil.
  • Phil: I heard that.
  • Tommy: That way! Through the swamp!
  • Lil: Nigel, why are we sinking?
  • Tommy: Quicksand! I should have knowed! Guys, hang on to me!
  • Angelica: What are you diaper bags screaming about?
  • Chuckie: We're about to get eated by that ferocious Siferean tiger.
  • Angelica: Were you pretending to be Nigel Strawberry again, Tommy?
  • Tommy: Yeah. He's my hero, and when I grow up, I want to be just like him.
  • Angelica: Pickles, you're no Nigel Strawberry. You're not even a Nigel...Raspberry! You're never gonna have real adventures. You're just a backyard baby with a diaper full of dreams.
  • Phil: Wow. She's mean. Now, who wants to go look for cookies under stuff?
  • Lil: I do!
  • Phil: Okay, come on. Follow me.
  • Nigel: The panthera onca, commonly known as the jaguar, seems determined to beast on my nether regions. But not to worry. Well, faithful viewers, our journey was a smashing success. Until next time, this is Sir Nigel Thornberry of Sir Nigel Thornberry's Animal World. Back! Back! Back!
  • Grandpa Lou: Why, hello, Scout. Boy, rest your eyes for a second, at old Thornberry's gator bait. Hey. Boy, that Sir Nigel gets in some real scrapes out there in the wild, but he always manages to wiggle out of trouble somehow.
  • Charlotte: Oh, and, Jonathan, don't think that just because I'm on a Luxury Lipschitz Cruise in the South China Seas, I won't be checking messages, E-mailing, and carrier pigeons on the hour.
  • Drew: Honey, I thought we were going to leave work behind for seven fun-filled days.
  • Charlotte: Silly, it's not all work. I've signed up for every spa treatment culminating in the Salem Retreat, where you're pressed between layers of hot rocks and ripe cranberries.
  • Didi: Sounds bewitching. But aren't we all going to be busy with our children?
  • Betty: Deed, that's what the Kidsatorium is for. Each morning we drop off the pups and head for the All-Day Breakfast Buffet. I hear they make a mean egg yolk omelet...
  • Phil: Ooh!
  • Betty...dipped with five kinds of sausage.
  • Chuckie: Whoa!
  • Kira: We signed up the kids for "Pirate Play and Pillage" class.
  • Chas: It teaches tolerance for the peg-legged.
  • Howard: Well, I'm going to use the whole seven kid-free days to reshape my physique.
  • Betty: Could happen. The Earth was created in six.
  • Stu: Everyone all set?
  • Didi: I think we all should thank my husband Stu for arranging this wonderful getaway.
  • Stu: No. You can thank me by having the time of your lives.
  • Dr. Lipschitz: Welcome! Bienvenue! Willkommen! Welcome aboard the world-renowned Dr. Lipschitz Cruise!
  • Didi: Stu must have taken Spike for one last potty run. I-I'm sure he'll be right back.
  • Drew: He better. He's got all our tickets.
  • Tommy: That sure is a nice camera, Susie.
  • Susie: Thanks, Tommy. My mommy got it for me so she can see everything she's missing.
  • Chuckie: How come she and your daddy can't come on the cruise with us?
  • Susie: Well, my mommy's getting a special award 'cause she discovered a new disease, and my daddy's cutting the ribbon at the Dummi Bear Theme Park opening. But I wanted to come with you guys.
  • Angelica: And we're so glad you did, Susie Carmichael. Now, here! Hold the spotlight on Lounge Singer Cynthia. Dresses and shoes are the only things That I'll share... That's my rules.
  • Susie: Oh! I wonder if it's too late to call my mommy.
  • Drew: Hey, The ship's sailing without us!
  • Chas: Wait!
  • Didi: Isn't that our ship?
  • Wait!
  • Drew: Whoa!
  • Stu: Ahoy, mates! Captain Stu at your service! Climb aboard for seven fun-filled days on the S.S. Nancy. No fancy packaged tour. Just the thrill of the open sea, the smell of the salt air, and the joy of close friends and family.
  • Charlotte: Drew, hold the shoes.
  • Angelica: I'm Queen of the World!
  • Tommy: Oh, isn't this a great vacation, guys?
  • Susie: As long as the "Queen" doesn't sing... I'm happy.
  • Tommy: And the bestest part is, we're all togethers.
  • Phil: Ah! This is just like my bathie. Only there's no rubber ducky, and... I'm not nakie.
  • Kimi: There's a ducky.
  • (Seagull cawing)
  • Phil: Well, okay. Time to get nakie.
  • Kimi: Oh.
  • Tommy: Nakie!
  • (Chuckie groans)
  • Chas: I can't believe you did this without consulting us, Stu. Look at poor Kira. This was supposed to be our honeymoon.
  • Stu: Sorry, Chas. And here I was hoping you'd be my first mate.
  • Chas: Me? Really?
  • Drew: Snap out of it, Gilligan. At the next port, we're getting off this rinky-dink tub, and getting on the Lipschitz Cruise.
  • Stu: Don't you see? If we were on a cruise right now, we wouldn't be together. We'd be split up between the pools, the spas, and the mile-long buffets.
  • Betty: We're missing Canadian Bacon Tuesday!
  • Charlotte: Oh, can't this bait trap go any faster?
  • Didi: Hello? Hello? Is anybody there?
  • Dr. Lipschiz: Welcome passengers to what I like to call "The Voyage of Your Lifetime!"
  • Didi: Everybody, I'm getting a signal. It's from the Lipschitz Cruise.
  • Oh, quick, let me talk to them.
  • Debbie: Mom, are you there?
  • (Donnie chattering)
  • Debbie: We're having a little trouble with the wild child.
  • Sounds like a disgruntled passenger.

Oh! Hello, Lipschitz. Charlotte Pickles here. Could you send a rescue boat right away? We're the squalid little boat in the middle of the ocean.

  • Debbie: Mom?
  • Harold: My muscles are atrophying as we speak.
  • Drew: Well, we paid for spa treatments, and I'm not missing one!
  • Debbie: Hey, we're getting a signal here.
  • Didi: Oh, Dr. Lipschitz, can you help us?
  • Chas: My wife really needs to see the ship's doctor.
  • Debbie: Huh? Hang on a sec, Mom. I'm picking up some lame-o soap opera.
  • Marianne: What is it this time, Debbie? Okay. I made everyone dinner, so I shouldn't have to clean up, too, right?
  • Eliza: Mom, all she did was hand us a jar of peanut butter.
  • Marianne: Uh, can we talk about this when your father and I get home?
  • Debbie: Yeah. Any E.T.A. on that? 'Cause you've been gone since, like, yesterday.
  • Marianne: We're still looking for the leopard at...Oh, Nigel! Over there! What's that?
  • Nigel: That's... I see spots!
  • (Nigel lets go of the branch and hits Marianne with the camera in her hands)
  • Marianne: Oh!
  • Nigel: Watch out for that limb, dearest. Here, neofelis nebulosa, come to Papa.
  • Debbie: Hello? I was talking here!
  • Marianne: Oh, I'm sorry, Debbie. Now you're on your own for dinner tonight.
  • Debbie: You know, normal families eat dinner together once in a while.
  • Nigel: Marianne, perhaps I can lure out the leopard by imitating its mating call. (roaring)
  • Debbie: Okay, so we're not normal. But as a teen, I reserve the right to alternately reject and embrace my parental units.
  • Marianne: Consider us embraced. Now, keep an eye on Donnie. It's going to rain,and you know how he likes mud.
  • (Donnie was playing in the mud)
  •  Marianne: Over and out. (cuts off)
  • Debbie: She totally hung up on me. And I was having a sensitive moment.
  • Eliza: Debbie, you are so self-centered. 
  • Debbie: I am not!
  • (Darwin Chittering at Debbie)
  •  Debbie: Okay, what's the monkey saying about me? 
  • Darwin: Mmm. (but then it starts to rain and he got sad but then the lightening flash and he ran inside the camper scared)
  • (Then back with the Rugrats, the grown ups are searching for the next port but then it started to rain)
  • Drew: Oh, that's great.
  • Betty: Oh, it's fine! Come on, pups, get underneath. Come on. Come on, move it, move it, move it! Down below!
  • Drew: Oh!
  • Howard: Captain Stu, I can't hold the wheel.
  • Drew: Will you stop calling him captain? He has no idea what he's doing!
  • Stu: I do so! Does anybody know where the brakes are on this thing?
  • Charlotte: Jonathan, why aren't you answering the phone? I need you to divert a tropical storm. (gasps)
  • Stu: It's a -foot wall of water.
  • Chas: We're going to need a bigger boat.
  • Betty: Everyone get below!
  • Charlotte: Phone overboard! Phone overboard!
  • Drew: Charlotte, forget the phone!
  • Charlotte: Jonathan!
  • Chaz: Well, this is how we came in...
  • Stu, Didi, Drew, Betty, Kira and Charlotte: No!
  • Didi: Oh, babies!
  • Kira: Oh, Kimi. Chuckie, hold on to me.
  • Chas: Why didn't anybody stop me?
  • Charlotte: Out of my way!
  • Howard: Where you going?
  • Didi: No, Charlotte!
  • Stu: Charlotte, don't. I-It's a rental.
  • Didi: Come on!
  • Betty: Right behind you, boys!

If you like to make a call, please hang up and try again.


If you need help, hang up...


You're safe!


I got it!


Dil's binky!


Oh, Betty, thank you.


I thought this might come in handy, too.


Abandon ship!


I can't help feeling partially responsible.


There's got to be a morning after


If we can hold on through the night...


I know we can.


We have a chance to find the sunshine...


Come on!


Let's keep on looking for the light


Spike!


Here, boy!


Spike!


Come over here, Spike.


Cynthia overboard!


Cynthia! No!


No, no, no, no.


-No, no, no, no.

-There, there, Princess.


We've all lost

something today.


Why, I lost my cell phone

with free minutes,


and Daddy lost

his favorite sun visor,


and Uncle Stu lost

all our respect.


Cynthia!


You guys, wake up!


We're at the vacation place.


Ah, that was a good nappie.


It was just like when Mommy


used to rock us to beddie-bye.


Well, I like a bed

that doesn't move.

  • Stu: Land ho! Land ho!

I'll never set foot

on water again!


Where are we?


Oh, isn't it obvious?


The palm trees, the white sand,


the crystal blue water...


Why, we've landed

on an island resort.


Place looks pretty deserted.


Oh, Betty.


The best ones always are.


Just look for a cabana boy

carrying towels.


Hello!


I could use a double espresso,

chop-chop.


-Chop-chop...

-Don't worry,


I've got a map.


We'll figure this out.


We left here. We capsized here.


I know exactly where we are.


See? We're on this

tiny little island called...


"Uninhabited."


You mean we're

the only people here?


Well, we'll just have

to get back in the boat


and row to another island.


One with coffee.


Drew, the lifeboat's gone!


-Gone?!

-Where'd it go?


Look, it's way out there.


Wait, ho, ho, oh, great.


We're marooned?


With no food?


How soon before we all

turn cannibal?


I have to get out of here!


So, "Swiss Family DeVille"

he's not.


Good morning, poodles!


We were up all night Iooking for that leopard.


Debbie, they're here!


Ta da!


Homemade coconut muffins and fresh herbal tea.


Debbie, this is so sweet.


Oh, and these look heavenly.


Afraid we must eat and run.


Mmm.


Ooh, really delicious, honey.


But you guys just got here!


I know, but the Foundation is expecting that footage today, and we still haven't got it.


Nigel, I think we should split up.


Dearest!


I thought we were so happy.


Oh...


You mean to look for the leopard, don't you?


I can't believe this!


You're always working.


When's the last time we took a vacation?


But, Debbie, we travel all over the world.


I want a family vacation.


You know, where we fight over the bar of hotel soap.


And Debbie hogs all the good towels?


And we order room service.


And we do dorky family activities?


Yes! Dorky sounds really good right now.


Well, girls, I'm sorry.


I didn't realize you felt this strongly.


I promise, as soon as we find the leopard, we'll do dorky family activities.


It's settled then.


-You're leaving, too?

-Mm-hmm.


Fine, go.


I was just going to hang out on the beach today anyway.


Debbie, are you forgetting that I talk to animals?


Sadly, no. Your point?


I'm going to find out where that leopard is so we can leave, and maybe we'll really take a vacation.


Come on, Darwin.


Darwin's staying here.


See ya.


Donnie!


I did not slave over a hot oven to feed the birds!


When I write about my life--


and I will--


I will not be kind.


Okeydoke, kids.


You play here, while the mommies and daddies try to ward off the specter of doom.

  • Angelica: Babies, listen up. We're stucked on a topical island that don't gots no people on it.
  • Kimi: But we're here, Angelica.
  • Angelica: I mean people who matter. And we got no food. And no cookies!
  • Susie: You don't know what you're talking about, Angelica.
  • Angelica: Oh, yeah? I saw a movie 'bout it once. These little kids were all alone on an island till they growed up and turned wild. The boy grew a beard down to his feet, and they had to wear rags for clothes. That's not the worstest part.

This isn't like


Our park back home


With slides and pools

and swings


It's a creepy little island


With great big scary things


Where mutant lobsters

crawl around


Chomping on little kids


And water wings can't save you


From the slimy,

squishy squids


That's why you need


A princess--

someone beautiful, hmm?


Like me-- to save you

from the scary claws


That grab you from the tree


So if you don't wanna

end up


Being mutant lobster food


The keep your Island Princess


In a really happy mood


That means

no blowing bubbles


That means no making smells


That means no bugging me


To wear my royal shells, ha!


Just do the things

I tell you


Like bow when I walk by


Listen when I speak to you


But don't look me in the eye


You're not

some lsland Princess


There's not a squishy squid


There are no mutant lobsters


That would ever eat a kid


Don't listen to her stories


She always misbehaves


She's trying to scare

you babies


Into being lsland Slaves


Why do you always have to be

so good and nice and cheeky?


Just face the facts


That I'm this

lsland Princess Angeli-tiki


So if you don't wanna end up

being mutant lobster food


Then keep

your lsland Princess


In a really happy mood


Keep your lsland Princess


In a really happy mood.


Yeah!


It's obvious.


The first thing to do is make a signal fire.


You know what else is obvious?


You're an idiot.


We have to find something to eat.


All I saved was a couple jars of baby food.


I never knew strained peas and apricots


went so well together.


Oh, you ate the baby food?!


Babies don't need food.


I have to keep my strength up


for when you try to throw

me into the soup pot!


He's delusional.


This is all your fault!


My fault?


Whose idea was the

Stu Cruise to Doom?


Oh, I would expect that


from the Finsters

or the DeVilles,


but Charlotte!


I knew this day was coming


since you were in diapers!


I should have never left Paris!


This is the Circle of Chaos.


If we're going to survive on this island,


we can't ever step foot

in the Circle of Chaos.


Wow. I feel calmer already.


We don't know when

we'll get off this island.


Until we do,

we're gonna need order.


First thing we need is a leader.


Any volunteers?


Stu, put down your hand.


I nominate Betty.


I accept.


All in favor of me,

raise your hand.


Hold on.


You're all going

to blindly follow Betty


just because

she drew a circle in the sand?


Yes!


Thank you.


As my first duty


as your rightfully


elected leader,

I'm assigning Stu to baby watch.


The rest of yous, follow me.


Geez, all I wanted to do

was have a little adventure.


Now everyone and their brother

is blaming me for this mess.


Angelica, are the growed-ups mad at my daddy?


That's a blunderstatement.


He's in big trouble.


It's cause of him we're going to have to live here forever.


Maybe we can help.


You babies are gonna help?


You can't keep your fingers out of your nose.


We got to try, Angelica.


Guys, up that hill.


I think it's the rainforest,


just like we sawed

on Nigel Thornberry TV show!


Does that mean

Nigel Thornberry here?


What makes you think

that big-nosed nature guy's


on this dinky island?


Because that's the lastest place

we sawed him.


He was getting eated by a crocodile.


Remember?


Nice knowing you, Chuckie.


Phil!


I bet if we go in there, we'll find Nigel Thornberry.


He can help us get home!


And no one would be mad

at your daddy no more!


And I wouldn't have to share

the waffle I got in my diaper.


Philip.


Uh, if I had a waffle in my diaper.


See you, Angelica.


Hey, get back here.


You preteens better listen to me, or else!


Or else...


I'm going to build a signal fire


that will have us off this island in no time.


Uh, let's see.


Gum, my special

"writes-upside-down" pen


and disposable razor.


Great. I can chew, shave, and write about it.


On my head.


I can't believe it, Cynthia.


Those preteens always do whatever I say!


What's all this junk?


It's not junk, Angelica.


These everyday items can be used to make a lot of things.


That's it!


I'll build a radio and send a distress signal!


Angelica, keep an eye on the guys for me, okay?


I'm supposed to baby-sit those half-pipes?


That's dog's work!


Spike! Wake up!


Watch the preteens.


I got important things to do, Iike find someone to be my royal subjects. Now, go!

  • Angelica: Cynthia, this vacation stinks! I've been walking forever, and no one's come along to carry me yet! Hey, that bird's got a cupcake. Drop it, beak-head! (The bird's poop falls out of its butt and it lands on Angelica. A fall whistle is heard in the process.) Ew! (She growls and then stomps over and kicks a coconut, but then screams in pain and hops on her foot until she trips) There's got to be someone around here I can boss.
  • (Suddenly, Angelica hears Darwin hooting and chattering and she looks from behind the leaves and sees Darwin painting Deebie's toenails.)
  • Debbie: Listen up, monkey. All that chimp chatter really bugs. (Puts her headphones on)

Just hand over those munchies and keep painting.


Wow! She's got that monkey waiting on her hoof and mouth.


Cynthia, I could learn a lot from that girl.


Excuse me, Miss Bossy Lady?

  • Angelica: Pipe down, monkey!


Hey, lady!


Who's calling me a lady?


I'm a teen!


Where did you come from?


This is supposed to be a deserted island.


I'm Angeli-tiki, the island princess.


And I'm thirsty.


And I lost my touch for being bossy,


so you got to teach me.


No ice cubes next time.


There's the rainforest, guys!


Bet we'll find Nigel Thornberry down there.


Now you're talking, Tommy!


Wait up! Wait for me!


This place is different

than our own backyard


I hope we haven't gone too far


We're somewheres new

and we haven't a clue


I just saw that butterflly

turn blue


This is a strange

and mysterious place


With lots of yummy buggies

for us to chase


We're walking

and we don't know where


Ooh-wee,

it's a jungle out here


This place is really neat


Lots of wormies for us to eat


Lots of furry things

everywhere you stare


Feels like I got some

in my underwear


Monkeys swinging all around


I wonder if we're ever going to get found


We're having lots of fun,

hey, look over there...


Whoopie! Oh, boy! Yay!


Great big snake hanging from a tree


I hopes that it

don't eat up me


Fat green lizard

looking me in the eye


I sure am glad that I'm not that fly


Prettiful birdies

singing a song, tweet tweet


I hope we don't stay here for long


We got a job to do,and we're headed up there


Look sharp,

it's a jungle out here


We got a job to do, and we're headed up there


Ooh-wee, it's a jungle out here.


Wow! It's got a gazillion feets.


Well, down the hatch.


Philip, no!


Oh, sorry.


Want a bite?


No! I don't think we should eat bugs no more.


That's crazy talk, Lil.


We've been raised on bugs.


I know it, Philip, but that's before I sawed that poor fly get eated by that big mean ol' flower.


Now, you let him go!


If I knowed the last bug I eated would be the last bug I eated,


I would've eated it slower.


Look! Growed-up feetprints!


I bet they're Nigel Thornberry's!


Let's go!


You know, it's lots easier going party in the rainforest than at home.


And you don't have to worry 'bout getting any on the floor or the walls or anything.


Guys? Uh... Wait up! Uh, uh, guys?

  • Eliza Thornberry: Excuse me, I'm looking for a clouded leopard. Have you seen any around?
  • Toa: Sure. There's one at the...
  • Darwin: Eliza! You'll never believe what I just saw! There's a little girl at camp, and she's a miniature Debbie! In every way. She's bossy, she's loud, she's hideous!
  • Eliza Thornberry: Darwin, look!
  • Darwin: A dog?
  • Eliza Thornberry: What's he doing here?
  • Darwin: Oh, spreading his fleas on an unsuspecting world.
  • Eliza Thornberry: Come on!
  • (???)
  • Spike: Hey, hey, hey. Could you give a dog a little warning? I'm trying to do my business here.
  • Eliza Thornberry: Oh, I'm so sorry.
  • Spike: You know, it's funny. For a minute there I thought I actually heard you talking to me. You talking to me? Are you talking to me?

Yeah, I can talk to animals.


It's a long story.


Should we come back?


Ah, no problem; I'm done.


I was just marking.


Spike was here!


Uh, sorry. I know...

Where are my manners?


I am Spike.


Full name: Down Spike! Down!

Get Off That Couch!


I'm Eliza, and this is Darwin.


Spike was here, too.


Wow! I've been sneezing all day.


My sniffer's on the blink.


I can't even smell my own butt.


And let me tell you,


I've tried.


Charmed.


Spike, what are you doing here?


Well... I'm...


To be honest with you,

I'm looking for my babies.


You lost your babies?


Probably too busy drinking from the toilet.


I was not! I was sleeping.


That was my second guess.


Hey, hey, smart boy, you don't get it, okay?


This is how it works.


Usually they wander off,

I find them, no problem.


But I can't smell.


I might as well not even call myself a dog.


Don't worry, Spike.


We'll help you find them.


And I won't tell anyone you lost them.


Really? You really will help me find them?


Thank you!

That is so nice.


Wow, you taste pretty good.


Animals.


Tommy? Phil? Lil? Spike?


Aw...


I knew we shoulda stayed at the beach.


This is the way we wash our clothes


Wash our clothes, wash our clothes


This is the way we wash our clothes


So early in the morning.


Phil?


Lillian!


This is not funny!


Oh, you're just my 'flection!


How ya doin', Chuckie?


Uh, my 'flection never talked back!


I been ascared of lots of stuff 'afore,


but I never been ascared of me!


Hey! Where'd it go?


Um, Chuckie?


That's not very nice.


From now on,


I'm not gonna make funny faces with you no mores!


Hey! Who's throwing stuff?


My shorts feel kinda big...


Aah! Who took my shoeses?


Hey!


My big-boy pants aren't 'posed to do this!


Oh!


I don't even look like Chuckie no mores.


Phillip!


No! We don't do that no mores!


Aw, just one little wormie, Lil!


Don't you 'member how good they used to taste?


How they tickled on the way down?


No, I don't!


I told you I'm a vegebelatarian now.


We don't eat bugs.

We pet 'em.


I don't knows you anymore, Lil.


Do you...


do you still like to eat mud?


Not if it has a face.


But you're my twin!


Who's gonna 'splain

Mommy's jokes to me


or-or help me plant my booger farm?


And who's gonna tell me when my feet smell?


Okay, Dil.


Do your stuff.


Eeew! Tinky!


Guys, I haven't seen Chuckie for a long time.


We better go back.


You know how scared Chuckie is of being losted.

  • Dil: Chubby!
  • Tommy: Is everything okay, Chuckie?
  • Phil: When did Chuckie start talking backwards?

Not a hair, not a paw print, not even a dropping!


Must keep my chin up.


I'll find that cat or my name's not Nigel Archibald Thornberry.


I'll find that big-nosed nature guy, or my name's not Tommy Awfully Bald Pickles!


Donnie? Is that you?

  • Tommy: Look, it's Nigel Thornberry!


We found him!

  • Nigel Thornberry: Great Goodall, a gaggle of friends! Children! Stay right there! I'm coming down!


Not the way I intended.


Heavens, what a fall.


I must get to those guys.

  • Susie: Are you okay, Mr. Thornberry?


She called me "mister!"


Silly Billy.


I'm only this many years old!


Do any of you remember where I left my tricycle?


That's one old three-year-old.


Uh, no, Mr. Thornberry.


We're shipwrecked on this island.


We was hoping you could help Tommy's daddy.


Watch what I can do.


Spinning?

  • Phil: Tommy, I think Nigel Thornberry's acting kinda funny.
  • Lil: Maybe he's got diapie rash.
  • Spike: Did you catch a whiff of anything yet?


It's, look, it-it-it, it's kind of a damp smell that's a cross between sour milk and poop.


Eww!


Well, actually I kind of like it.


Sorry, Spike, but everything smells pretty much the same to me.


Ha! Humans.


How do you live?


And who put the "poo" in pooch?


Whoa.


Okay, there you go.

Look at yourself now.


All right, you got a little dog pee on you.


Oh, my gosh! You're the..

  • Sira: I am Siri, the clouded leopard.


I'm Spike, the purebred mutt!


See these claws?


Sniff my butt!


Spike, why'd you say that?


I was being social.


Of course, a simple handshake wouldn't do.


Hey, twitchy, I do not shake with cats, okay?


Now... a small chimp for breakfast, a mutt for lunch, and a sensible girl for dinner.


Hey, chimpboy, will you stop worrying?


I know all about cats with a capital K. Sit on a windowsill, hack up a fur ball. Ooh, that's very ferocious.


Eliza: Spike, this isn't your regular house cat.

Spike: They all twitch, their whiskers one whisker at a time, just like you and me.

(the song "Big Bad Cat" begins to play.)

(Siri the Clouded Leopard snarls at Eliza and Darwin. Darwin faints.)


♪ Don't go and be fooled ♪


♪By those fancy pants♪


It's just

her feline arrogance


Flaunting their collars

with tinkly bells


She thinks her litter box

don't smell


Whoa, hey,

who cut the cheese?


Was that you, baby?


You may want

to reexamine your diet.


Can the old

canine philosophies


Why don't you just go

and tend to your fleas


Don't push me, mutt


I'm just not in the mood


You're one swipe away

from becoming cat food


Don't go and be fooled

by this crazy cat


Don't go and listen

to his crazy facts


Not gonna tell you twice,

you better watch your back


Don't go and be fooled


The big bad cat's

a fur-ball-hacking


Rodent-snacking act


That's right, an act.


You're just a pussycat.


You think you're tough?


I dare you, Spike,

to call my bluff


You're a very scawy puddytat.


You're one swipe away

from becoming toast


Eliza, get my doggy bag.

I'm about to catch a snack.


We can settle this right now,

right here--


mano a mano, dogo a cato.


Ow!

That has gotta hurt--


falling off a cliff

into a sticker bush.


Not gonna tell you twice,

you better watch your back


Oh! Here I am. Come get me.


You think I'm afraid

of your claws?


Coochie-coochie-coo.


Bombs away, ladies.


Come on, me and you.

Come on, let's go right now.


I'll rip

that fur coat off ya


and wear it,


and all my dog friends

will be going,


"Spike, where did you get

that skanky cat coat?"


You hear what I'm saying, Red?


I thought cats

didn't like water.


But frankly, Eliza,


she did need a bath...

Come on, come on.


Oh! Whoa!


Aw, what happened?


Well,


I'm outta here,

I gotta go find my babies.


Helpless offspring?


Yeah! Yeah!

That's it. That's it.


Have you seen 'em?

Little ones, walk on two feet?


Last time I saw 'em,

they were on the beach.


Walking...


stumbling, actually.


Two feet?


Yeah, they're

my human babies.


I thought we were

looking for puppies!


No, no. My pups

are home with the wife.


She can't travel.


Delicate stomach.


Me, I could eat anything--


shoes, furniture, pencils


with the little erasers.


I ate one of Chuckie's

diapers one time


-Spike...

-and let me tell you...


-Spike!

-that is spicy.


Spike! We have to find those babies before Siri does!


Come on!


When will I think before I bark?


Spike, is that you?


Tommy? Kimi?


Anybody?!


Oh, no, not monkeys!


Hey, they're chasing that little one!


That's not very nice.


Now, you big monkeys

go 'way.


You was little monkeys yourselfs once...


um... probably.


So just go away and leave this little monkey 'lone.


Shoo! Shoo!


Thanks.


Wow! I saved someone

'stead of someone saving me.


I must be a wild boy now.


Babies!


Tommy!


Susie!


Oh, my dogness!


What if I never feel

their sticky jammy fingers


poking in my ears again?


What if I never find a floating diaper in my doggie bowl?


What if...


Spike! Snap out of it!


Right, right, right, right.


Not helping. Not helping.


Focus, focus, Spike.


What does "focus" mean?


Right, right.


But who's going to sneak me donuts?


Come on, we're almost there.

  • Angelica: These are much better than the cookies we got back at the grass hut, and I don't have to share with no dumb babies. I mean, um, dumb baby savages.
  • Debbie Thornberry: Tell me about it. I have to share with a pigtailed weirdo, a jungle freak, and a monkey in a tank top.


Uh, refill.


Why do I have to get it?


You said you wanted to learn how to be bossy, right?


This is how you learn.


Extra ice, two straws.


I would trade the monkey for her any day.


Debbie, come in. Over.


Hey, Mom, how's it going?


It's not going at all.


Have you heard from your father?


No, but get this, Mom.


Tell me later, honey.

Be back soon.


Angeli-tiki is nobody's lackey.


Hey, lady!


What's that bubble thing?


A bathysphere.


It goes underwater.


You know, like a submarine.


Getting thirsty here!


That girl's even bossier than me.


Those dumb babies are practically on top of a mountain, and I'm gonna be blamed!


I gotta go home and pretend I'm innocent.


Um, Debbie?


I just 'membered.


I was supposed to be home for, uh, the lsland Sacrifice.


Okay, my mom will drive you when she gets here.


But I have to go now.


I'm the princess.


Who do you think's going to throw in the goat?


Oh, it's a native thing.


Oh, Mom will understand.


But I am not waiting around to watch the goat bite it.

  • Angelica: Is that a CD player?
  • Debbie Thornberry: Yeah, only the best. You know an awful lot for an "island girl."
  • Angelica: Um, well, see, a TV washed up on the beach once and the island king made the whole tribe watch it.
  • Debbie Thornberry: Cool!
  • Angelica: I love this song!
  • Debbie Thornberry: Hey, me, too.

Woo!


Darling you've got

to let me know


Should I stay or should I go


If you say that you are mine


I'll be here

till the end of time


So you've got to let me know


Should I stay or should I go?


Y ow!


It's always tease...


Whoa!


Whoa!


Debbie!


Debbie, there's a bunch of

a guys lost around here,


and the leopard's after them!


I didn't know there was

a leopard out there.


I'm gonna be


in big trouble.


Get back here and

put your seat belt on.


C'mon, Cynthia. We're taking a ride!


Angeli-tiki!


Oh, man.

  • Nigel Thornberry: Twinkle, twinkle Little star...

Debbie, what happened?


I was taking care of this island princess and...


What's she doing in the bathysphere?


I didn't say I was taking care of her well.

  • Angelica: Where are the lights on this thing?
  • (???)
  • Nigel Thornberry: I'm a kangaroo. Hoppity, hoppity, hop. I'm a froggie, and I'm frogging.
  • Phil: All this hopping is making my diapie creep.
  • Nigel Thornberry: Ooh... Now I'm a giant kitty cat, with lots of pointy toothies!
  • Tommy: Don't worry, guys. Nigel Thornberry plays with wild aminals all the time. He'll get us out of this scrape.
  • Nigel Thornberry: Does kitty want a mousie? Does kitty want to dress up in dolly clothes and take a ride in Nanny's pram? Kitty gave me a boo-boo.
  • Tommy: Nice kitty.
  • (???)
  • Kimi: Chuckie, be careful!
  • Lil: He's so brave.
  • Phil: Or dumb.
  • (???)
  • Chuckie: "Hey, I been looking all over for you! I don't like being half nakie! I want my clothes back!" (???) "Hey, I got sticks in my hair!" I gots no shoes! Oh, ouch, my feet!" (???) "That's better. Now I can see."
  • (???)
  • Nigel Thornberry: Look, Mumsy, I'm a whale.


You sure he can really help us, Tommy?


Of course, Susie.


He's Nigel Thornberry.


He's, um, the bestest

nature explorer ever.


Or... I thought he was.


Guess we're stuck here

till somebody finds us.


Who's going to find us in here?


I know what'll cheer


everybody up.


A nice waffle.


It's kind of crusty.


You sure you don't gots

any mable syrup in there?


Nope.

But I got some ketchup.


Watch this one.


What 'dat?


What 'dat?!


Maybe TV people are only

good at doing stuffs on TV.


Well, I guess we'll be living on this island from now on.


That means...


I might not see my family again for a long time.


Uh, you gonna eat that waffle?


Shh, Phillip. Susie's sad.


I'm sad, too.


I want my mom and dad.


Me, too.

Tommy: I'm sorry, guys.


I never should broughted you here.


Angelica was right.


I am just a backyard baby with a diaper full of dreams.


No, you're not.


Tommy, you took us through the rainforest all by yourself!


And led us up the side of the mountain.


And you found Nigel Thornberry.


And you saved me from the giant kitty cat.


Oh, you got lots more than dreams in your diaper, Tommy.


Thanks, guys.


That's the nicest stuff anyone's ever said.


So, hey, even though we're stuck in a cave and there isn't any boat and we can't swim, I still promise to get you out of here!


It's like my hero Nigel Thornberry always says...


The Martians have landed!


Um, no.


I was thinking 'bout when he says, "Don't give up hope, fateful viewers!"

  • Angelica: Ahoy, mateys! Now who's your princess?
  • Charlotte: Drew, there's no longer a ringing in my ears from constant cell-phone usage. Oh, isn't this paradise?
  • Drew: Sure is, honey! Whoa! Honey!
  • Howard: Didi, you think this is done? I've never cooked a fish with its head still on.
  • Didi: Well, let me see. Does it flake when...
  • Howard: My fish!
  • Didi: Who's that little cannibal boy?
  • Chas: Those look an awful lot Iike Chuckie's sneakers.
  • Howard: You ate the fish and Chuckie!
  • Drew: Come on, guys! After him!
  • Marianne Thornberry: Well, it's not a clouded leopard, but at least I'll have film of something. Donnie! What? This is supposed to be a deserted island.
  • Charlotte: Oh, thank heavens! We're part of an elaborate television stunt designed to humiliate us.
  • Marianne Thornberry: Who are you? Hold it. My name is Marianne Thornberry. From the nature show?
  • Didi: We're shipwrecked.
  • Betty: Can you help us, Marianne?
  • Marianne Thornberry: Of course. Our camp is nearby. Debbie, come in.
  • Debbie Thornberry: Oh, Mom. What's up?
  • Marianne Thornberry: I need you to bring the Comvee over to the east beach.
  • Debbie Thornberry: Uh, that may be a problem.
  • Marianne Thornberry: Don't worry about cleaning up.
  • Debbie Thornberry: Oh, thanks, but that's not the problem.
  • Marianne Thornberry: Just get here. Now. My daughter will bring our trailer and my husband will be along soon and...
  • Stu: Behold, fellow islanders! I, Stu Pickles, have built us a radio!
  • Didi: Stu, who's watching the kids?
  • Stu: Oh, Angelica said she'd take care of them.
  • (???)
  • Kira: Chuckie!
  • Didi: Oh, this is very strange. I feel like this has happened before.
  • Spike: Look at them... chasing their own tails. If only I could tell them that it doesn't work. I know, I've done it. I've chased my tail a million times. It does not work.
  • Stu: It's getting a signal!
  • Marianne Thornberry: I'm very impressed.
  • Didi: Oh, Stu's an inventor. Runs an ad in the shop-and-buy.
  • Marianne Thornberry: Girls, have you seen some children?
  • Debbie Thornberry: Just a bossy-year-old who has delusions of being a princess.
  • Charlotte: Angelica!
  • Debbie Thornberry: That's her!
  • Didi: That's Susie.
  • Debbie Thornberry: She must have turned on the radio in the bathysphere.
  • Marianne Thornberry: A-year-old's driving the bathysphere?! Hey! it's no problem. We can track them by radar from the Comvee.
  • Debbie Thornberry: Uh... yeah. Except... I sunk the Comvee.
  • Marianne Thornberry: You what?!
  • (???)
  • Susie: I'm beginning to think you tooked this scrubmarine without permission, Angelica.
  • Angelica: Oh, you think you're such a know-it-all, Carmichael. Now, here's the right button.
  • (???.)
  • Angelica: You need this to drive.
  • Susie: Mm-hmm.
  • Angelica: Now, here's the other right button...
  • (??? fishes swim away. ???)
  • Marianne Thornberry: Oh, I can't get a signal. We've got to try to reach them on your coconut.
  • Angelica: Uh-uh, Carmichael.
  • Stu: Hello. Calling Angelica.
  • Angelica: She really did give me cream soda.
  • Drew: Angelica, Susie, Can you hear me?
  • Susie: You didn't have permission, Angelica!
  • Charlotte: Angelica! Stop fighting this instant and listen to your father!
  • Angelica: Sorry, Mom.
  • Tommy: Our moms and dads!
  • Angelica: Dad, tell Susie to stop bothering me while I'm trying to drive a scrubmarine!
  • Susie: Oh, Give me that, Angelica!
  • (???)
  • Nigel Thornberry: What's this? A new toy? Kippers! I'm the happiest lad in all of England!
  • (???)
  • Debbie Thornberry: Listen, Angeli-tiki. It's me, Debbie. Let me talk to my Dad.
  • Angelica: Hey, mister! Stop eating those smelly fish and talk to the teen.


This little fishie

goes to market.


Yuk!


This little fishie stays home.


Great. Dad finally lost it.

  • ?: Something's wrong with Nigel.
  • Marianne Thornberry: Girls, this is Mrs.Thornberry. Do you see a red handle?
  • Susie: I see it!
  • Marianne Thornberry: I need you to push that up. That will bring you up to the surface.
  • Angelica: Dil, don't touch that!
  • (Angelica falls over grabs Dil pulling the lever down.)
  • Tommy: Oh, no, Nigel Strawberry! This calls for my emergency bottle.
  • (???)
  • Nigel Thornberry: Hello there. Well, what have we here? Who are all you positively adorable children? Huh?
  • Susie: We're shipwrecked. We went all over the island looking for you.
  • Angelica: I saved them, but then Carmichael tried to drive this tub-boat and now...
  • Susie: We just want to go home.
  • Nigel Thornberry: Well, of course you do, young lady. And so we shall. Hmm. Bit of a pickle. No fuel left. The radar appears to be knocked out, which means I have no idea where we are and we're almost out of oxygen.
  • Angelica: I'm bored.
  • Nigel Thornberry: Yes, and there's that, too.
  • Debbie Thornberry: Angeli-tiki, come in! What's going on down there?!
  • Nigel Thornberry: Deborah? Is that you?


Dad! You're back to normal!


Well, Dad-normal anyway.


Oh, Nigel, thank goodness you're all right.


Can you bring her to the surface?


Impossible at the moment, dearest.


You'll have to engage the automatic-retrieval system in the Comvee.


And I don't want to alarm anyone, but we're a tad low on oxygen down here.


Copy that. We'll get you as soon as we can. Over and out. Okay, we have to raise the Comvee.


No go.


The pump's destroyed and there's a huge rip in the pontoon.


What, it's ripped?

Drew: Hang on. The professor's getting an idea.


How about a little song

to lift our spirits?


Old MacDonald had a farm


E-l-E-l-O


And on his farm

he had a ring-tailed lemur


E-l-E-l-O


With a guttural roar here


And a throaty rumble

there...


Okay, here's the plan.


We'll transfer force from

the bi-pedal energy generator.


to the dual reduction chamber.


The resulting compressed

atmospheric matrix


will transverse the tubular

transport mechanisms,


which you gentlemen will connect

to the deflated pontoon.


This will increase

the displacement coefficient


of the Comvee and it will rise


aided by a fulcrum-driven

counter balance


weighted with coconuts.


Let's do it!


It's perfect, but...


how are we going to inflate

a pontoon with a hole in it?


Oh, no.


What do we do now?


What's going on?


We can't raise

the Comvee.


We need something

to patch it.


Eliza!


There's a rafty thingy

out there.


Can we use that?


It's perfect!


She found your boat, Spike.


They can use it to

patch the Comvee.


I'll get it!


Spike, no!


The waves are too big!


Hey, this is Spike

you're talking to.


I've paddled my way to more

tennis balls than I can count!


If I could count.


But I'm afraid

you won't make it!


Sure I will!


And if I don't,

well, no one's going to say


that ol' Down Spike

didn't try his best.


You only go around once

in this crazy, mixed-up life.


Well, not cats.


They get nine lives


while dogs have to cram

seven years into one.


Now that bites!


That a boy, Spike.


Good boy, Spike.


Look! It's Spike!


Ooh, nice save, dog.


Good boy, Spike.


But what are we going

to use for glue?


I'll take care of it.


That gum won't stay

sticky for long.


-Places!

-Let's go.


Debbie?


Don't worry, Mom.


I'm on it.


Got it!


Pedal!


It's working!


And on his farm


He had a oceanospirillum

multiglouliferum


E-l-E-l-O.


Can we go home now,

Mr. Thornberry?


We've got 'em!


Now let's reel 'em in.


Nigel,


is everybody okay down there?


Excellent, dearest.


Well, one little girl is

rather pouty


and somebody needs a diaper

change-- I won't say whom.


Smashing!


Why, it's the architeuthis,


commonly known

as the giant squid.


Isn't she magnificent?


If only I had a camera...


Here,

Mr. Thornberry...


feet long

and two tons of boneless flesh.


Oh, your picture


didn't come out.


Well, that's probably

as it should be.


You see, children,

the giant squid


has never been seen alive

before.


I suppose this marvel of nature

will be our little secret.


What do you say?


Couldn't have said it

better myself.


Here I am!


-Mom!

-Dad!


Dil!


Susie!


Where's Tommy?


And who does this little chap

belong to?


He's ours.


Come here, champ.


Honey,


I'd like you

to meet Stu Pickles.


He made the coconut radio

that saved your lives.


Terribly grateful,

Mr. Pickles.


I have a feeling

I wouldn't be here


without this

little chap, either.


Pickles!


You might grow up


to be just like

Nigel Thornberry after all.


Thanks, Angelica.


But I think I'll grow up

to be just like my dad.


Well, bro, I got

to hand it to you...


I'm so proud of you, Stu.


Oh, Nigel,

I was so worried.


I confess, I was, too.


I hated the thought

of our last family meal


being shortchanged because

we had to go find a leopard.


Your father's right.


We lost sight

of what's important--


spending time together.


Okay, everyone.


Let's pack up.


We're going on vacation!


How about...


The Lipschitz Cruise!


We're leaving to go on vacation.


Oh, yeah, right on.


Ya-hoo!

  • Spike: Well, Eliza, as dog is my witness, I'll never lose my babies again! 
  • (The kids laugh, Dil hits Spike with a rattle.)