This article is a transcript of the SpongeBob SquarePants episode, "Rock Bottom" from season 1, which aired on March 15, 2000.
(at Glove World where SpongeBob and Patrick are standing outside the amusement park)
SpongeBob: (Patrick is licking a glove-sickle) Another fantastic day at Glove World. (bus stops at the bus stop and both of them get in but SpongeBob struggles for a bit with his balloon)
Bus Driver: Ahem. (points to coin deposit)
SpongeBob: Let me get my wallet. (turns around and balloon hits bus driver in face) Wait, let me check this pocket. (turns around and balloon hits him again) No... (turns around and balloon hits bus driver again) Patrick do you have any change?
Patrick: How much do you need?
SpongeBob: How much is it?
Bus Driver: Fifty-cents.
SpongeBob: (turns around and balloon smacks bus driver in the back of the head) Fifty-cents.
SpongeBob: (turns around and balloon smacks bus driver again) Lemme check my other po...
Bus Driver: Forget it!
SpongeBob: (turns around and balloon smacks bus driver again) What did you say?
Bus Driver: Just take your seat!
SpongeBob: Thanks, mister.
Bus Driver: Yeah, whatev... (SpongeBob turns around and balloon smacks him in the back of the head. Bus driver gets angry)
Patrick: Show me what you got at glove world.
SpongeBob: Ok! Here's my glove light. (turns on light)
SpongeBob: (puts light inside his head) I see you! (both laugh)
Patrick: I got gloves for my glove action-figure! (puts a tiny glove on the big gloves thumb)
SpongeBob: Cool! (Patrick looks out the window and notices a sign that says "You Are Now Leaving Bikini Bottom" as they drive past it)
Patrick: Hey, SpongeBob?
SpongeBob: (a tiny glove is on his nose) Yeah, Patrick?
Patrick: Where's 'Leaving Bikini Bottom'?
SpongeBob: Where did you see that?
Patrick: We just passed the sign. 'You are now in leaving Bikini Bottom'.
SpongeBob: (gasps) What? (looks out the window)
Patrick: What's wrong SpongeBob? (driving past a sign that says "Bikini Bottom City Limits")
SpongeBob: Patrick, I think we're on the wrong... (both scream as bus drives down at a 90-degree angle road. SpongeBob and Patrick fly back and his the back of the bus) ...bus. (SpongeBob walks slowly up front. His face gets all distorted as he is moving closer. His pants rip off and fly at Patrick but Patrick ducks in time. Then SpongeBob’s underwear hits Patrick in the face. Bus comes to an immediate stop and both fly forward and hit the windshield. Then the balloon smacks the bus driver onto the windshield and all of them peel off. SpongeBob & Patrick are kicked off the bus) But sir, we need to get back to Bikini Bottom.
Bus Driver: (hands balloon to SpongeBob) Oh, well. (drives bus away)
Patrick: Where is this, SpongeBob?
SpongeBob: (reads sign) Rock Bottom. (scroll over to a bus station) It sure is weird around here. Kinda different and the soil looks different. (picks up some green soil)
Green Soil: Do you... (raspberry) mind... (raspberry) putting me down? (SpongeBob shakes him off)
Patrick: Bob, I don't like it here. It's dark and scary. I don't wanna be here. I wanna go home. Look, I can't even tell the bathrooms apart. (bathroom doors have the ? on one door and the ¿ on the other)
SpongeBob: Uhh, that's an easy one, Patrick. We just wait for somebody to come out and then you'll know. (someone comes out the ¿ door. Patrick gasps) Maybe we should wait for one more. (a snake-like creature comes out of the ? door. 3 creatures come out the ¿ door)
Patrick: I still can't read the signs. I wanna go home.
SpongeBob: Uhh, uhh, ok. You wait for the bus. Call me when it comes and I'm gonna get a bus schedule. (walks off) Boy, this place sure is creepy. (bus drives by with Patrick's head sticking out the window)
Patrick: Hey, SpongeBob, the bus is here. (SpongeBob runs after the bus) SpongeBob...! (bus drives up the 90-degree angle road and SpongeBob tries to run up the road but falls down. Tries a couple more times but is unsuccessful)
SpongeBob: I guess Grandpa SquarePants was right. Don't run for a bus. (puts on Grandpa disguise) Especially one that's going up at a 90-degree angle. (takes off disguise) I better go wait for the next one. (later, SpongeBob is standing by the bus stop sign with his glove balloon in his right hand) C'mon, bus. I've got to get home and feed Gary. (notices shoe untied and lets go of the balloon) Uh-oh, shoe's untied. Puts foot on bus sign) Over, under, and over, and loopdy-loop, and over... (bus drives up and then drives off) and through the hole. (later, wind is blowing SpongeBob’s glove hat on his side so he puts it back. Wind blows balloon away) My balloon! (chases after balloon jumping for it when he gets the chance. A bus drives up and then drives off) Wait! Hold on! Stop that bus. Aww, not again! (throws hat down. Notices a creature with a red light on his head for an antenna) Umm, excuse me, sir. Can you help me? (gives raspberry) Uhh, uhh, yeah, I... (creature runs after balloon) No, no! Not the balloon! I need to know what time the next bus comes... (bus drives up and then drives off. SpongeBob runs after it but decides to walk back to the bus stop sign) Well, there goes another one. I gotta be more diligent. I am not leaving this spot, no matter what. SpongeBob’s stomach growls) I'm gettin' hungry. (snaps fingers) Glove candy dispenser. Good thing I went to glove world. (squeezes out 6 tiny glove candies onto his tongue then spits them out) Eww, glove flavored. Hey, what's that? (a kandy machine is shown across the road) A kandy machine. Mmm, kelp nougat crunch. (Checks each side of the road to see if a bus is coming) I'm not leaving this spot, no matter what! (stomach growls) I'll only be gone a second. (runs over to the machine. While getting out a quarter, a bus drives up. Runs back across to buss) Hey! (bus drives off) Ooh!! (stomach growls. Takes a few steps across the road and turns around to check for the bus. Takes a few more steps and checks again. Gets to the kandy machine and takes out the quarter. Before inserting it, he checks for a bus. There's no bus so he puts in the quarter but a bus DOES come and drives off. Now he checks to his left down the road and decides to sprint across and get some candy. Pushes some buttons and checks for the bus. The kandy is slowly coming down) Come on, come on! (kandy drops to the bottom. SpongeBob grabs for it but a bus drives up and then drives off. SpongeBob gets angry. He reaches for the kandy but a bus comes up. Every time he reaches for the kandy, the bus drives forward but when he pulls his arm away, the bus drives backwards. So he decides to leave the kandy and run after the bus, but the bus drives off before he can get there. A creature comes up and takes the kandy) Hey, that was mine! (walks over to the kandy machine. 3 busses drives up and drive off while he's over there so he decides to run back. No more busses come so he shakes the bus sign) Barnacles! Alright, that's it. No more mister nice guy. (later, SpongeBob is at the kandy machine staring at it and a bus drives up. Another SpongeBob tip-toes up but the SpongeBob at the kandy machine falls over revealing it to be made of wood. The bus drives off) Tartar sauce!! (SpongeBob is now a bench. A bus drives up but drives off after it notices the SpongeBob bench) Fish paste! (walking into the bus station) I'm getting to the bottom of this, right now! I want a bus to Bikini Bottom. I am first in line and no one is going to tell me, otherwise! (sees a giant green round creature standing behind him already in line) Ok, second. I am second in line. (sees another giant creature already in line) Ok, third is good. (another creature is already in line) Fourth, not bad. Cut to SpongeBob at the end of the line behind a yellow creature) Ok, 329. I am 329th in line and nobody forget it. (yellow creature spits out a giant egg on SpongeBob’s head with the number 329 on it)
Window Attendant: Next. (raspberry)
SpongeBob: Well, at least the line is moving. (everyone steps forward. Egg hatches 3 baby yellow creatures that jump in front of SpongeBob. SpongeBob hides inside his clothes and goes ballistic. Then comes out and everyone staring at him turns around)
Window Attendant: (time is going fast) (raspberry) Next. (raspberry) Next. (raspberry) Next. (raspberry) Next. Next...
SpongeBob: Finally! Yes, I'm next! (runs up to the window) When is the next bus to Bikini Bottom?
Window Attendant: What? (raspberry)
SpongeBob: The bus schedule. The next bus.
Window Attendant: I can't... (raspberry) understand... (raspberry) your accent. (raspberry)
SpongeBob: Duh, next bus... (raspberry) to Bikini... (raspberry) Bottom. (long raspberry)
Window Attendant: Ohh. (raspberry) Why didn't you say so? (raspberry) Next bus leaves in... (raspberry) 5 seconds. (bus leaves) Ohh, tough luck, kid. (raspberry) That's the last one til' morning. (raspberry)
SpongeBob: Oh, (raspberry) no... (raspberry) you don't. (raspberry)
Window Attendant: Goodnight! (puts closed sign up)
SpongeBob: Hold it, I'm not through here! (raspberry) Do you hear me? (raspberry) I demand you come back and give me a bus to Bikini Bottom, right now. And until then I am not leaving this spot. (gives 3 raspberries. Lights turn off. SpongeBob laughs nervously) Ok, like I said, I'll be right here when you get back. At this spot. In the dark. By myself. With no one around. Except my glove light! (turns on light) Ah, that's better. (glove light stops working) This isn't your average everyday darkness. This is...advanced darkness. Hey, if I close my eyes it doesn't seem so dark. (closes eyes. Hears a raspberry in the distance so he opens his eyes) Who's there? (walks down the road) Well, I guess that spot will be there tomorrow. I better just keep walking. (hears another raspberry) Running! Better start running! Running! (hears another raspberry) Sprinting! I just gotta keep sprinting! (runs into the 90-degree angle road. Sits down with scallops flying around his head) Sitting, sitting. Bleeding. (hears noise) Hey, who's there? (hears another raspberry) Ok, that's enough. (hears another raspberry) Don't come closer. (hears another raspberry) I'm warning you! (hears another raspberry) I'm a sponge! (a red light shines around SpongeBob. It's the creature from before that chased after the balloon) Oh, it's only you. (creature ties balloon to SpongeBob’s left wrist) Well, that solves my balloon problem, but I have a bigger problem. (creature begins blowing balloon bigger) I'm kinda stuck here. I need to catch a bus to get home. You don't understand a word I'm saying, do you? Balloon... (raspberry) has... (raspberry) enough... (raspberry) air... (raspberry) thanks. (gives a few more raspberries as he is floating up) Hey, I get it, balloon travel. Thank... (raspberry) you! (raspberry)
Creature: You're welcome!
SpongeBob: (floats back down in front of his house) Ah, home at last. (balloon pops)
Patrick: (riding another bus to Rock Bottom) Don't worry, SpongeBob, I'm coming back for ya.