Rise of the Zitboy
Zim presses some buttons on a control panel in his lab. Two tubes next to him contain a chicken in each one. Zim rotates some levers on the control panel. Inside the first tube, the platform the chicken sits on rotates around so that the chicken faces forward. As the chicken rotates, its eyes widen. Zim pulls on the levers and the platform the chicken is on starts to spin at high speeds. The chicken in the other tube looks at Zim questioningly. Zim taps his finger on a monitor screen. The monitor screen shows an image of the Earth at a distance. Zim presses a button on the control panel and rubber tubing lowers from the ceiling and attaches to the top of the tube that the spinning chicken is in. The other chicken looks around nervously. Zim presses a button on the control panel and the spinning chicken is shot up the tubing. Zim and the chicken look at the monitor and it shows a green dot (representing the chicken) leaving the Earth.
Zim: Hmmm... Chicken! Mmm hmmm! Hmmm... hmmmm.
The other chicken flaps its wings nervously as the rubber tubing attaches to the top of its tube. The chicken's mouth hangs slightly agape as Zim moves his finer towards the button on the control panel. Suddenly, a red alarm on the ceiling of the lab blares.
Computer: Security breach, unknown intruder!
Zim walks away. The green dot on the monitor screen goes into the sun. Zim walks out into his front lawn, in his disguise. A giant stone squirrel with a crack in its head and an eyehole in its chest scoots along the walkway of Zim's house. The eyes peering through the eyehole blink.
Zim: Hmmmm.... Mmm, hmmm! Hmmmm.... Gnomes! Capture the squirrel!
The gnomes on either side of the squirrel turn their heads and lift up their arms. They close in on the squirrel and lift it up into the air and then drop it.
Dib (from inside the squirrel): Hey! Hey!
It shatters, revealing Dib inside. The stone squirrel tail sticks on Dib's behind.
Zim: Ha! Nice try, squirrel-Dib! I laugh at your pitiful attempt at spying! Here I go.
Dib: Go on, laugh!
Zim abruptly stops laughing. Dib stands up and the squirrel tail falls off and shatters.
Dib: But one day, you'll be sitting in your house feeling all safe and secure, and then you'll look over and I'll be there! Doin' stuff!
Zim: Stuff? In my home!?! Never! You'd have to find some kind of flaw in my security net! Since that could never possibly happen, you'll have to do your stuff elsewhere! You haven't discovered some kind of a flaw, have you?
Dib: Let's just say your home defenses could use some tightening.
Dib starts walking away.
Zim: You're lying!
A delivery truck for Bloaty's Pizza Hog pulls up. A pimply delivery man wearing a Bloaty hat and Bloaty clothing holding a pizza walks past Zim and up to the front door.
Zim: Nothing breaches my defenses, nothing! You hear me, squirrel boy? Nothing!
Delivery man: Hey!
The delivery man rings the door bell.
Delivery Man: Hey!
GIR, who is out of disguise answers the door.
Delivery man: Here's the pizza you ordered.
GIR's eyes start to water.
GIR: Thank you....
GIR: I... I love you....
GIR takes the pizza. The delivery man gets in the truck and drives off.
Zim: GIR! We fend humans away from our home, not invite them over!
GIR: I had a coupon!
Zim: Maybe there is some kind of flaw! But what?
Zim walks into the house and shuts the door behind him. GIR sits down on the couch. He rips the pizza box open with his mouth and then dumps the pizza onto his lap. He breaks the pizza in half and then throws one half of it into the air. It lands on his face. GIR slurps the pizza into his mouth, leaving his face covered in grease. GIR chews and then swallows the pizza. He lifts up the other half and takes large bites out of it. Zim puts a hand to his mouth as his cheeks bulge out like he is about to throw up. Zim gags.
Zim: The smell... all that cheese!
GIR: I like it!
GIR takes some more bites.
Zim: It's sickening! And your lippy... smacky noises... aren't helping.
Zim's cheeks bulge out again. GIR finishes off the pizza, grease dripping down from his face. GIR leaps from the couch and latches onto Zim's head. Zim groans.
GIR: Don't worry, I like you too!
Zim: Get off of me! Get off of me, GIR!
Zim backs into the TV, which falls backwards into the wall.
Zim: Get off of me!
Zim backs into the shelf. It topples over and a piggy toy falls off of it. Zim continues screaming. He walks over to the closet door and it opens, knocking him over and knocking GIR off of his head. The Father Decoy pops out and then goes back in, the door shutting behind him.
Zim: Your horrible!
Zim, who is now all greasy, gets up.
Zim: GIR! Get me cleansing chalk! Quickly!
GIR walks over, holding a bar of soap, a mirror, and a towel. Zim snatches the bar of soap and bites off the wrapper. He rubs the soap on his face, while groaning. GIR tosses the mirror and towel into the air and leaps over to the empty pizza box. GIR sticks it on his head. Zim picks up the mirror and gasps. He shakes the soap and it unfolds, revealing that it was just a strip of bacon that was curled up.
Zim: Why was there bacon in the soap!?!
GIR sits inside the pizza box.
GIR: I made it myself!
Zim's eye twitches. He flings the bacon to the ground. He lifts up the mirror and notices a pimple is growing on his right cheek. He pokes it.
GIR: You got a pimple!
GIR: Just like on TV!
GIR walks over to the TV and turns a knob. The TV turns on to show a commercial with a highskool student in the hallways.
Kid: Yesterday, I was just like everyone else. I fit in. But when I woke up this morning I had-
The student turns his head so the viewers can see a hideously large pimple on his face.
The student walks over to a group of highskoolers, They gasp at the sight of his pimple.
The highskoolers walk away. One of the girls in the group kicks him as she walks away.
Student: Now my life is a hideous montage of humiliation and shame!
Zim gasps. In the commercial, a flash of lightning occurs and then a super hero who is a tube of Acne Blast appears. The student gasps. Acne Blast Man flies over to the student.
Student: Acne Blast Man!
Acne Blast Man: Yes, it is I, here to restore your social life to its former... glory!
Acne Blast Man shoots electricity out of his hands, causing the pimple to explode in a geyser of pus. The kid falls to the ground, screaming. As soon as he stops screaming, he gets up and feels his now pimple-free face. He pokes wear it was to make sure it is gone, and then he smiles. Two girls (who happen to be Britney Spears and Christina Agullera) walk over to either side of him.
Student: Thanks, Acne Blast Man!
Acne Blast Man winks, gives a thumbs up, and lifts up a tube of Acne Blast.
Zim: I must obtain Acne Blast!
GIR: I got some right here!
GIR opens his chest plate and pulls out a tube of Acne Blast. GIR sticks the tube into his mouth and starts slurping from it. Zim snatches it from him.
Zim: Give me that!
Zim looks into the mirror and starts dabbing the acne blast onto his pimple. The pimple suddenly swells up to the size of a small child's head. The pimple is now clear. The Acne Blast tube gets sucked into the pimple and floats around in the pus. Zim moans.
Zim: That made it worse! GIR, how could you?
Zim looks around, but GIR is nowhere in sight.
Zim lifts up the mirror and gasps. GIR floats around in Zim's pimple.
Zim: GIR, get out of there!
GIR pops out with the tube of Acne Blast. He sucks on it as he walks away.
Zim: This is so not right! It's jeopardizing everything I've worked for! How can I study this planet if the entire population is starring at my freakishly deformed head?
GIR giggles as he uses a black marker to draw a face on the pimple.
Zim: Stop! Stop! Get away!
Zim hopes off the couch. The pimple bobs up and down, the pus inside it swishing around. GIR bobs his head with the pimple and suddenly becomes hypnotized. His voice goes monotone and his eyes turn swirly.
GIR: Yes, I will stop. I will obey.
Zim: You? Obey? Okay, GIR. Roll over.
GIR jumps onto the floor and rolls over.
GIR: I obey.
GIR rolls back over to Zim and stands up.
Zim turns his head away from GIR. GIR breaks away from the trance and dances across the room.
GIR: I'm dancin' like a monkey!
Zim turns around so that his pimple faces GIR again. GIR falls into the trance again. Zim turns his head away and GIR breaks away from the trance. GIR starts dancing again.
GIR: Monkey dance.
Zim faces GIR again. GIR falls into the trance, an image of the pimple bobbing up and down in both of his eyes.
Zim looks into the mirror.
Zim: This hideous blemish appears to have hypnotic powers.
GIR: Hypnotic powers.
Zim watches the pimple bob up and down in the mirror. He goes into a trance and then shakes his head to get out of the trance. GIR goes in and out of the trance as Zim continues to turn his head.
Zim: If it works on humans as well, I may be able to use it to hypnotize Dib into telling me what he knows about my security system. But first, I must disguise it.
Zim enters a storage room of the lab. The lights turn on and Zim walks over to a box labled 'GEARS CIRCUITS HEADLESS BODIES.' Zim grabs the box and pulls out a headless dummy body and attaches it to the pimple. Along with the face that GIR drew on the pimple, the pimple looks like a person attached to Zim's face.
Zim: I will call you... Pustulio! Together we can hypnotize the enemy and bend them to my will!
Zim sniggers. Cut to the skool playground. Students play on the playground equipment and others play basketball. Mary jump-ropes as Peeyoopi plays hopscotch. Zim hides behind a tree. Zim walks out from behind the tree and goes in front of Peeyoopi. She picks up a rock on the hopscotch court and then hops in place on the hopscotch square.
Zim: Have you met my friend Pustulio? He is visiting from... another place.
Peeyoopi: Ew, he's-
Peeyoopi falls into a trance from looking at Pustulio.
Peeyoopi: -Beautiful. I love him.
Zim walks over to where Mary jump-ropes.
Zim: You, frolicking dirt child. Meet Pustulio.
Mary: Get away from me you-
Mary falls under a trance from looking at Pustulio.
Mary: -Object of my unsurpassed worship.
Zim walks towards the monkey bars. Peeyoopi and Mary follow behind him, Peeyoopi still hopping and Mary still jump-roping as they walk.
Zim: Pustulio demands your attention!
The kids hanging from the monkey bar look at Zim. He turns around to face them, then he flicks Pustulio so he wobbles around. The kids become hypnotized. Zim, Peeyoopi, and Mary start to leave as all the kids on the monkey bars and playground equipment plummet to the ground in a huge pile, hypnotized.
Lizard Boy: I'm in pain!
Snarl: It is as Pustulio wishes.
Ploopti: Does Pustulio wish for me to pop my spine back into place?
Zim: Yes, very well.
Dib watches from behind a table as Zim leads a long line of hypnotized children towards the skool entrance. Dib runs by and crouches behind the walkway ledge. Gaz sits on the skool steps, reading a book called 'Punch Club.' Dib waves a hand in front of Gaz, but she doesn't respond. Dib goes back behind the ledge as Zim walks up to the skool entrance, standing right next to Gaz. The children gather around. Peeyoopi stops hopping and Mary stops jump-roping.
Zim: You will tell Pustulio everything that Pustulio wants to know! I am Pustulio's official spokesman. Whatever information you give to me will please Pustulio.
Zim looks at Gaz and makes wavy arm gestures.
Zim: Stare deeply into Pustulio, he is your master, he is-
Gaz: Go away.
Zim: Are you sure you don't want to look at Pustulio?
Gaz groans and turns around.
Zim: Come, my filthy stink children. You shall reveal your secrets to Pustulio in the privacy of the classroom.
Zim walks into the skool. The children follow behind him.
Dib: What's going on, Gaz? What's he up to?
Dib: Huh? Huh? Huh? Some sort of hypnosis. It might have something to do with that thing on his head.
Gaz groans and turns away from Dib.
Dib: Someone has to stop Zim before it's too late!
Dib runs into the skool entrance. Gaz groans again. Dib screams as he bursts through the door of Ms. Bitters' classroom. Dib rolls across the floor and hops onto Ms. Bitters' desk.
Dib: Don't look at that thing on his face! He's using it to control you!
Smolga's voice: Pustulio rocks!
Dib: There is no Pustulio! It's just a pimple! A hypnotic pimple!
Zim: Look at Pustulio.
Dib: Never! I'll never surrender my free will!
Zim: Smacky, hold him!
Dib screams as Torque Smacky leaps into the air and knocks him off of the desk. Torque pins Dib. Dib tries to pull free.
Dib: No, Torque, can't you see it's just-
Torque Smacky: I see only my love for Pustulio.
Torque lifts Dib up and holds him in his grip and brings him over to where Zim is.
Dib: You can't make me look! I'll just shut my eyes.
Dib closes his eyes tightly.
Zim: Oh, you'll open them. You have to breath sometime.
Dib: No I- Wait...
Dib opens his eyes.
Dib: What do eyes have to do with breathing?
Dib accidentally glances at Pustulio and screams. He falls under the trance.
Dib: I will tell Pustulio everything.
Dib closes his eyes and groans, breaking away from the trance.
Dib: No, must keep control!
Dib falls back under the trance.
Dib: Pustulio is my friend.
Dib closes his eyes and breaks away from the trance.
Dib: He's a pimple! Nothing more than a-
Dib groans and opens one eye.
Dib goes back into the trance.
Dib: I... I love Pustulio.
Zim: And Pustulio loves you too. Release him, Smacky. He is part of the collective now.
Torque Smacky lets go of Dib.
Zim: Now, tell me. Tell me the flaw in my house's defenses.
Dib: But... I can't... must infiltrate.
Zim: It would make Pustulio happy to know this thing. Don't you want (Zim flicks Pustulio and he wobbles around) to make Pustulio happy?
Dib: Yes... no!
Zim: If you tell me, I'll let you hold Pustulio's little hand.
Zim wiggles Pustulio's hand. In Dib's mind, the classroom breaks apart and disappears, leaving on Zim and Dib standing on the chunks of ground underneath them against a black background. A hypnotic spiral spins behind Zim.
Dib: The weakness is simple. A blind spot...in your gnome field.
The classroom goes back to normal.
Dib: Nothing to stop me from simply tunneling under... house and attaching a spy monitoring system.
Zim laughs evilly.
Zim: Success! Huh?
The pimple suddenly swells up to enormous size, taking up most of the classroom. Zim groans and stumbles around, trying to hold up its weight. It pops, and a tidal wave of pus shoots out. Pus breaks through the window and sweeps across the playground washing away children such as Billy Slunchy. In the hallways, Mathew P. Mathers III walks towards the door to Ms. Bitters' class when the pus pushes the door off its hinges and into Mathew, forcing him up against the wall. Pus sweeps through the hallway and knocks over kids, including Chunk and Letty. Pus pours out of the skool entrance. The pus finally stops pouring out. Zim stands in Ms. Bitters classroom which is now wrecked. Lizard Boy sits near an overturned desk, covered in pus. Melvin is stuck to the ceiling because of the pus. Other children lie on the pus-covered ground. Dib floats in the pus on his back. He spits some pus from his mouth.
Zim: Bye Dib, and thanks for the information! I've got a few more lawn gnomes to plant!
Zim walks away.
Peeyoopi: What happened?
Dib stands near a wall. His shadow creeps up the wall and becomes a silhouette of Ms. Bitters. Ms. Bitters emerges from the shadow and walks up to Dib.
Ms. Bitters: Dib, you will not leave skool grounds until all this mess has been cleaned up.
Dib: Me!?! But-
Ms. Bitters: Silence!
Ms. Bitters opens up her hand revealing a tiny bit of sponge. She hands it to Dib. Dib glances over at a full sponge floating next to him in the pus.
Dib: Can't I use that sponge?
Ms. Bitters: No!
Ms. Bitters leaves. Dib stares at the pus filled classroom.