Scene I: The Zoovenir Shop Edit
In the dark, Skipper pops from a monkey T-shirt and looks around.
Skipper: All right, boys. The coast is clear. Let's move.
The others popped out of shelves. Kowalski fires a grappling hook and is pulled off. Rico jumps out and Private is pushed forward by Rico after jumping. Skipper comes out of the shirt. Kowalski comes down on a rope. Suddenly, the lights came on. The penguins got to their combat positions. It was Marlene, on top of a barrel.
Marlene: Hey, guys! (She jumps down and the penguins calmed down.) Skipper: (gets to her.) Jumbo shrimp! Doesn't a stealthy rendezvous mean anything to anyone anymore? Marlene: A stealth... No. Why? Should it?
Knowing something, Skipper quickly puts his flipper over Marlene's mouth.
Marlene just stood there, doing nothing, with Skipper's flipper over her mouth. Skipper looks around the shop. There was no one there. Skipper removes his flipper from Marlene's mouth.
Skipper: All clear. But stay on your toes.
Rico nods and "stood on his toes. Marlene looks at them strangely.
Marlene: Riiiiight. Well, anywho guess what I've found in my habitat today.
Marlene pulls an egg from behind. Rico gets a closer look and Private stares happily.
Private: It's... It's... Kowalski: An egg? Marlene: Yes! And you are birds, soooo... Skipper: (looks at the others.) Soooo, what? Marlene: Back at the aquarium, the daddy penguins handle egg-duty. Skipper: Marlene, we're an elite force, not nurse maids. Kowalski: (examines the egg.) Actually, Skipper, incubation is a guy thing for penguins. It's natural instincts. (Exciting, Private, caring for the egg, holds it.) Skipper: You too, Kowalski? We can't give in to every gushy urge nature's burden upon our species.
However, the men are playing with the egg. Private rocks the egg back and forth. Kowalski plays peek-a-boo with the egg, coochie-coochie-cooing at him. Rico waves at the egg.
Skipper: Oh, come on, you marshmallows. Think manly thoughts, like, uh... MONSTER TRUCKS! WHO-AH!
The others didn't pay attention to him. They were still cuddling with the egg. Skipper changes his affections from serious to caring.
Skipper: Ahh. Isn't that just the... (He snaps out of it.) NO CAN DO. We can't possibly take this mommy mission. King Julien: (He and the lemurs popped out of a barrel of toy monkeys.) Of course you can't, silly penguin. Because the egg is MINE! Skipper: (As the lemurs jumped down.) Where did you... I thought we had this area secured! Marlene: You laid an egg? Kowalski: (examining Julien.) That's highly ecological for a mammal, unless... (examines Julien's tail.) Are you part platypus? King Julien: What did-- (pushes Kowalski away.) You are a party puss, but I, I am KING of things! (Maurices nods.) Longly, I have waited for the Sky Spirits to give me a proper heir to my throne. Clearly, that is why they sent me this egg. Marlene: Sent you? King Julien: Yes! Indirectly. I shall call him Julien Jr. J.J.! I will raise him to be just like me. Handsome, brilliant, and most of humble.
Skipper slaps his head in annoyance.
Skipper: (to Marlene, quickly.) We'll take him. Private: Yay! Resume coochie-cooing, men!
Private has the egg under his feet. The boys continued coochie-cooing the egg, leaving Juilen jealous.
King Julien: Well, we'll see who's coochie-cooing when I- (The penguins turned and stared at him.) Hey. I was muttering to me, not you silly penguins. Now carry on.
Scene II: Penguins HQ Edit
Skipper has created a schedule with a crudely drawn mugshot of each of the Penguins at the top of each column and points to it with a drumstick.
Skipper: We'll take shifts, the egg will have round the clock supervision and training.
Private: Training, Skipper?
Skipper: That's right, Private. By the time this rookie hatches he'll be ready for action.
Private: But sir!
Skipper is holding a kitchen timer.
Skipper: The clock is ticking. Commence operation... (he sets the timer)... hard-boiled!
Skipper is seen setting up a small contraption looking very similar to the children's board game, "Mouse Trap". Private walks in when Skipper is adding the final touches to the device.
Private: Oooh, lovely! You're playing a game with eggy!
Skipper: (Patronizingly) Oh ho whoa, this is no game, Private.
Skipper picks up eggy as he talks.
Skipper: This tiny obstacle course trains tiny soldiers.
Skipper places a white King on a red "X" and salutes it. He then positions eggy at the top of one of the slides and lets go of him. Private gasps in fear.
Private walks forward to help eggy, but Skipper sticks out an arm to stop him, evidently annoyed.
Skipper: You'll get your little play time when it's your shift, Private.
Private watches in fear as eggy continues through the obstacle course. Eggy narrowly avoids a hammer, is flung through the air, lands and slides down another slide, avoids a mouse trap which sends a Knight flying through the air, which lands on a see-saw knocking a cage onto the now black King. Private lets out a gasp of relief and Skipper picks up eggy to prepare to send him through the course again.
Skipper: Not bad! But you'll never make officer with a time like that. Let's get in it to win it!
Kowalski is wearing a pair of 3-D glasses as protective eye wear. He is examining eggy closely. He uses a pair of pliers to gently lower eggy into a pillow filled glass box. Private walks up and looks in.
Private: Oh! You've built a crib for eggy!
Kowalski: No, it's an intelligence intensifying incubation chamber.
Kowalski pushes buttons on a panel that is connected to the chamber with wires. Private looks apprehensive.
Kowalski: From egg to egg-head in 1 Gigajolt.
Kowalski turns around holding two electrified spoon heads and presses them together, as if they were medical paddles. Private cowers upon seeing them and then jumps over the container, protecting eggy.
Private: You can't!
Upon contact with the "paddles", Private is shocked and begins making a gargled scream. Kowalski rushes over to turn the machine off. Private is now glowing green and smoking.
Private: (Saluting) The sum of the square roots of any two sides of isosceles triangle is equal to the square root of the remaining side.
Private rolls off the chamber onto the floor. He is no longer green but is still smoking.
Private: What just happened?
Scene III: Top of the Penguin HabitatEdit
Rico is seen flying a kite. He is making airplane noises as he steers the kite different directions. Private walks up behind him.
Private: Please tell me you're just flying a kite.
Private looks around for eggy and gasps when he realizes what Rico is really doing.
Private: (Angrily) Rico! Where's eggy?
Rico smiles nonchalantly and points to the kite.
Rico: Uhh-uhh! (Up, up)
The kite is revealed to be carrying eggy.
Private: Eggy can't fly! Bring him down, bring him down!
Private grabs the kite string out of Rico's hands and yanks on it in an attempt to bring eggy down. The result of this is the kite heads into a nose dive straight for Rico and Private. The kite crashes into Rico, knocking him off screen. Private rushes over to look for eggy. Private turns the kite over and notices that eggy is missing.
Private: (Scared and angry) You lost eggy!
Rico: (Shaking his head) Hmm... nuh-uh.
Private stares at Rico, perplexed. Rico then regurgitates eggy causing Private to cringe in horror.
Scene IV: The Lemur HabitatEdit
King Julien is watching as all this unfolds while drinking a coconut. He leans back into his throne and sighs sadly.
King Julien: Look at them with the vomiting of my J.J. (Angrily) That is no way for a royal lemur egg to be treated! He should be at my side, my left side, right about here.
He breaks to song. Julien is seen with Eggy and a coconut with two straws, putting a crown on it, having their picture taken behind a cardboard cut-out of a beach scene, and sitting on it. Eggy begins to hatch and two small ring-tail lemur legs pop out of both sides. Eggy then grows to "king size". Julien then plays a guitar, looks at Eggy, and dances on the words to the song he is singing as Eggy bounces by. Finally, they bounce together on the "Royal Bouncy" and Julien pushes him in a swing. The song ends with Julien sitting next to Eggy on a hill watching the sun set.
King Julien: (Singing) Me and my J.J, with me he will stay-ay, and then we can play-ay, all night and all day-ay. From this lemur egg my prince will rise, his little lemur legs growing to king size! He'll be regally, he'll be legally mine! Oh look at how cute he is. Me and my J.J, with me he will stay-ay, and then we can play-ay, from June until May-ay. He'll be regally, abso-legally, MIIIIIINNEEEEE! Yeah!
King Julien appears to be talking to himself during a daydream.
King Julien: Heheheh. Why yes J.J. Of course you can kick Mort.
Maurice taps King Julien on the shoulder.
Maurice: Your highness?.
King Julien: (still dreaming) No no, he likes it.
Maurice pulls himself level with King Julien.
Maurice: (Yelling) YOUR HIGHNESS!
King Julien: (Angrily, waking up) Maurice! You totally ruined my J.J. day dream! It had music and everything!
Maurice: (Concerned) Uh, you know. Maybe you should let go. I’m no expert, but I’m pretty sure whatever’s in that egg, well, it ain't one of us.
King Julien: Oh really, mister smarty-booty. And where do you think J.J. will hatch from, if not from an egg?
Maurice: Well, mammals usually come from…
Maurice whispers about where mammals usually come from into King Julien’s ear, causing King Julien to spit his drink all over Maurice in disgust.
King Julien: (Angrily) Do not gross me out with nonsense Maurice!
King Julien sips, then eyes the coconut and removes the straw.
King Julien: I think… I am getting an idea. Yes! It is definitely an idea, and I have it! Me! Hahahaha!
Scene V: The Penguin HQEdit
Private is seen looking down affectionately at Eggy nuzzled between his feet.
Private: You’re in safe hands now, Eggy. Well, safe feet.
Skipper walks up behind Private.
Skipper: Private, what are you doing with the egg? It’s not your shift.
Skipper takes the egg from Private.
Private: Grrr! (Angrily) Obstacle courses? Gigajolts? Hang-gliding? You’re all pushing too hard! You, you don’t know EVERYTHING, Skipper!
Skipper: (Turning around, shocked) Private!
Private, realizing his folly, clamps his mouth shut with his hand. Rico, apparently hang gliding under water, slams into the window.
Private: I’m sorry Skipper, it’s just that I—
Skipper: -- Think you know what’s best for this new cadet. (staring above Private with a glazed look in his eyes) But you’re just a boy yourself, a dreamer! What could you possibly know about raising him?
The kitchen timer goes off and Private gasps happily.
Private: I’ll show you! It’s my shift!
Scene VI: The Penguin HQEdit
Private is seen with Eggy cradled in his arms. Private slowly rocks him back in forth, talking soothingly to him. Baby music plays in the background.
Private: Everything’s okay now, I’ll never let anything bad happen to you.
Eggy shakes and a smiled-shaped crack forms on the shell. Seeing this, Private puts Eggy between his legs and waddles top side to show the others.
Scene VII: Top of the Penguin HabitatEdit
The other three Penguins are standing around, apparently doing nothing when Private emerges.
Private: (Excitedly) Skipper! Skipper! I felt him kick and then he smiled at me!
Rico, Kowalski, and Skipper all give Private a reproachful gaze.
Private: (confused) What?
Skipper points towards Private’s feet. Private looks down, realizes the egg has been replaced with a coconut, and gasps. Mort appears.
Mort: I’m an egg. Arf arf!
King Julien: Ho ho, yes! (Gloatingly) Who is your daddy now? (Begins juggling Eggy) Not me, because I am J.J.’s daddy, and aahhoowoo—
King Julien loses his grip on Eggy and sends him soaring through a sea of feet. Eggy rolls along the ground. Private and King Julien look on in fear as Eggy narrowly avoids being squashed multiple times.
Private: (Extremely shrilly) Gahhhhh! My baby!
The penguins spring into their combat ready positions and jump into action. They slide after Eggy but must duck under a bench in order to avoid detection. Eggy bounces off a curve and a brick wall, making a noise similar to a pinball machine on each impact. King Julien lands in front of Eggy and picks him up.
King Julien: (Like someone scolding a dog kindly) Fool me once, J.J.
Eggy’s feet poke through the shell and kick King Julien in the face.
King Julien: Owww! My eyes!
Eggy jumps down and runs away past Marlene’s habitat causing her to double take.
Marlene: (Skeptically) Wait was that just … no.
Ducks: Quack! Quack.
Marlene: (Comprehension dawning) A duck?