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Oh, There You Are, Perry

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The scene opens at night in Danville. Phineas and Ferb are sleeping; Perry suddenly crawls away from Phineas and sleeps beside Ferb. After he settles down, preparing to go back to sleep, Perry's wristwatch communicator glows, signaling a code red emergency. He tries to sneak away but Ferb immediately seems to notice so Perry quickly sticks a log under his arm instead. The camera switches to Candace, downstairs, carrying a glass of milk.
Candace: Ugh, no more peach and pumpernickel sandwiches before bed.
Candace trips over Agent P
Candace: (She looks back) YOU!
Perry, back in his pet mode, chatters. Candace picks him up and puts him outside
Candace: For an animal that doesn't do much, you sure know how to make a mess of things!

After Candace leaves, Perry puts on his fedora again before mimicking Candace. He then heads to the stonewalk and enters to his lair.
Major Monogram: Good morning, Agent P. I've got bad news and good news. The bad news is, you're being reassigned to a new, more evil villain. His name: The Regurgitator.
Carl: You keep pushing him down, but he keeps coming back up!
Major Monogram: That's not funny, Carl. That's just disgusting.
Carl: You laughed earlier!
Major Monogram: It was a pity laugh. Anyway, Dr. Doofenshmirtz had to be downgraded to minor threat status and just assigned Agent S to his case. The good news is you've been relocated away from your own family to this new family in the Quad-State Area.
Perry looks on with a shocked look on his face.
Carl: (whispering) It's the other way around, sir.
Major Monogram: Oh, yes, yes, of course. The bad news is the relocation, and the good news is the new villain thing. Uh...just make sure you take your belongings from the house when you leave.

The following morning, Candace is eating cereal at the table with a bored look on her face. Phineas and Ferb walk up and Phineas looks a bit sad
Phineas: Good morning, Candace.
Candace: What's so great about it?
Phineas: Not much. We can't find Perry anywhere. He's never missed breakfast, not even once.
Candace: Uhh, you don't think he could've argued with someone, let's say... 3:38am, got his feelings hurt and ran away, do you?
Phineas: Nah, he never would've gone outside on purpose. Everybody knows that platypuses are supposed to stay inside at night. You haven't seen him anywhere, have you?
Candace: (nervously) Well, maybe he just wandered off. Doesn't he always wandered off in some point of the day? A-And later, when he comes back, you say, "Oh, there you are Perry" and he says, (She tries to mimic Perry's chatter)
Phineas: Yeah, but he's always here in the morning. I'd be devastated if something happened to him.
The camera switches to outside the kitchen window where Agent P is watching the scene. He looks from his food bowl back to Phineas and the others sadly before he uses his jet pack to leave

At Doofenshmirtz Evil Incorporated
♪ Doofenshmirtz Evil Incorporated! ♪
A door bell is heard and Doofenshmirtz walks over, clad in only a towel
Doofenshmirtz: Hold on, I'm coming!
He opens the door and a gift basket is sitting in outside the door
Doofenshmirtz: Another gift basket? (He takes a card off of it) "We regret to inform you that due to The Regurgitator's recent evil behavior, you've been downgraded to a minor threat. If you believe this to be a mistake, please fill out the included..." A minor threat?! The Regurgitator. Ugh, there's a lot of weirdos out there. (He goes to his computer and types on it) Oh, here we go. He has his own blog. (He reads) "The World's Most Evil Villain"?! Who does this self-stand-in think he is? It's time to show him who's boss. (He rushes off screen and the towel is laying on the floor, his head appears with a nervous smile as he quickly picks it up.)



Back in the Flynn-Fletcher backyard
Phineas: All right, Ferb. Activate the Platy-tracker 3000. If Perry's anywhere in Danville, this'll bring him home.
Ferb activates the Platy-tracker. It mimcs Perry's chatter and a huge crowd of Platypuses (Platypi, Platypeople) suddenly arrive in the backyard
Phineas: Wow. I didn't know there were so many platypuses in Danville.



Doofenshmirtz arrives at a run-down motel in a truck
Doofenshmirtz: Geez, what a dump!
He enters the motel
Doofenshmirtz: (mockingly) So much for Mr. Bigshot Super Villain. (He walks over to the man at the front desk) Uh, yeah hi. I'm looking for someone named Mr. The Regurgitator.
The man clicks a button, revealing an elevator. Doofenshmirtz heads down to the lab, where he sees a "do not push" button
Doofenshmirtz: "Do not push," hmm...
Doofenshmirtz stares at it for a few seconds before he pushes the button and is sucked into a vacuum tube. He lands hard on the ground
Doofenshmirtz: Oh, my Heinz' hiney! Look at this all this technology, a giant vacuum tube, and they can't afford a throwpillow? (He sees a man nearby) Oh, hello
The Regurgitator: I am The Regurgitator! (The lights flash like lightning while thunder and dramatic music is heard)
Doofenshmirtz: Well, okay. My name is Heinz Doofenshmirtz. (He pauses) Tadaa! Oh, I'm sorry, I don't know how to--where are those lights coming from by the way when you do that?
The Regurgitator: You're that disturbed lunatic from Danville.
Doofenshmirtz: Oh, you've heard of me?
The Regurgitator: Yes, and you've heard of me! (The thunder and lightning happens again)
Doofenshmirtz: Seriously. Where's that coming -- Oh, look, you've already captured Perry the Platypus! My, you do work fast.
The Regurgitator: Why don't you fill up these forms and I'll consider you for a three-year internship. (He hands him some papers before walking away)
Doofenshmirtz: I am not here to apply for an internship. Oh, you offer maternity leave!
The Regurgitator: You can start by making a fresh pot of coffee! (Thunder, lightning, and dramatic music happens again)


Back in the backyard, Ferb holds up each platypus to Phineas, who explains why it's not Perry.
Phineas: No, Ferb. Not Perry; this little guy's eyes are too close together and his beak is orange, Perry's is more of a tangerine. Nope, too fat. Too thin. Too cartoony. Whoa, that one smells like meatloaf!


With Candace in town
Candace: Perry! Perry the Platypus! Huh?
A platypus tail is sticking around a nearby corner
Candace: Perry! Get over here. (She runs over and pulls on the tail) You're coming home with me so I won't get in trouble with the...
A woman taps her on the shoulder and Candace sees it's not Perry or a platypus but a beaver she was pulling
Candace: You have a pet beaver?
Woman: You have a pet platypus.
Candace: Touche.


Back in the backyard
Phineas: Nope, too blue. Too angular. Too French. That one's just a duck, with a beaver tail taped on him. Well, that was the last of 'em. Maybe we need to think bigger. And with music! Perry just loves music, remember?
There's a flashback of baby Phineas and baby Perry. Phineas taps a key on his xylophone and Perry chatters. The flashback ends, going back to Phineas and Ferb
Phineas: Let's get the guitars. I've got an idea.

In the Regurgitator's lair
Doofenshmirtz: What are you looking at, Perry the Platypus? This is a great job! Look at all I've accomplished. I mean just today, I organized this evil documents, swept his evil lair, picked up his evil dry cleaning and look, I even had the time to do this! See? "Best Boss." And if I do a good job, I could be promoted to head assistant in just three months! Where are you gonna be in three months, huh huh?
The Regurgitator: Never mind the three months. I'll take care of him right now! (thunder, lighting, and music plays again)
Doofenshmirtz: Wait a minute. First of all, he's my nemesis. And you can't get rid of him now... Where's the fun in that? You need to explain your whole plan to him. Don't you have a nemesis?
The Regurgitator: Me? The world is my nemesis! (He pauses before clicking some buttons on his watch) Sorry, this thing doesn't always work. The world is my nemesis! (thunder, lightning, and music plays again)

Back in town with Candace
Candace: Perry's gone, and it's...it's just my fault. I can't take it anymore. I'm gonna have to tell the boys. (She sees the silhouettes of Phineas and Ferb through a curtain) Oh, there they are. Well, I guess now's as good a time as any. Phineas, Ferb, I just have to tell you that I'm the one who...
The curtains open to reveal that it's not Phineas and Ferb but Marty the Rabbit Boy and His Musical Blender
Marty the Rabbit Boy: Hey.
Candace: Marty the Rabbit Boy and His Musical Blender?
Marty the Rabbit Boy: Maybe this'll make you feel better. (He plays the chorus of Gitchee Gitchee Goo on his blender)
Candace: Eh, not so much


In the Regurgitator's lair
Doofenshmirtz: Don't look at me like that, Perry the Platypus. I know what you're thinking. I-I'm not some lowly intern, I'm an evil scientist. I'm Heinz Doofenshmirtz and he should be bowing down to me! Hey you, Mr. Regurgitator, let's get things straight!
The Regurgitator: What?
Doofenshmirtz: Okay, okay. See that, Perry the Platypus? Compromise.
Perry blinks
Doofenshmirtz: Who am I kidding? Grrr. (To himself as he goes over to The Regurgitator) You can do it, you can do it. Okay, Regurgitator! I've done everything for you. See those hard-to-reach files up there? Well I invented these rocket shoes just so you can reach them! And look at this, I even put in the self-destruct button that you forgot!
The Regurgitator: What? Why is it counting down?
Doofenshmirtz: Okay, well, I may have pressed it by mistake. But at least I didn't push the release button I installed inside Perry the Platypus' cage!
Perry presses the release button with his foot and escapes his trap
The Regurgitator: Look what you've done! You've pushed my buttons for the last time, you disturbed lunatic!
Perry switches the lever from "blow" to "suck" by throwing his food bowl at it.
The Regurgitator: Now get ready to--(He's sucked up by the vaccuum tube) Aaaahhh!
Doofenshmirtz: We did it! We did it! Lo hicimos! We did it!
Perry puts on the rocket shoes and grabs Heinz. They go through the tube before the lair blows up. Major Monogram appears on his wristwatch communicator
Major Monogram: Congratulations, Agent P. You've defeated the Regurgitator. As a matter of fact, he just landed in our prison. You can return to your host family, and Dr. Doofenshmirtz is once again your nemesis.
Doofenshmirtz: So if we're enemies again, does that mean... (Perry drops him) Aaaah! Curse you, Perry the Platypus! (He tumbles before finally landing on a throw pillow) Oh, now see there, a throw pillow. You, you guys do it right!


On top of a building in Danville
Phineas: Excellent. From the top of this building, everyone in the Tri-State Area should be able to hear us.

(Song: Come Home Perry)

(Ferb starts playing the guitar)
Phineas: ♪ Perry, you know you are a boy's best friend ♪
♪ You're more than just a passing trend ♪
♪ You're like a treat from a candy store ♪

♪Oh, Perry, we love you more than ice cream cakes ♪
♪ We love you more than bugs and snakes ♪
♪ We love you more than all things mentioned before ♪

♪ Oh, Perry, you're extraordinary ♪
♪ You're kinda short and hairy ♪
♪ The color of a blueberry ♪
Phineas, Ferb, and Isabella: ♪ Yes, Perry ♪

All: ♪ So come home, Perry ♪
♪ Come home, Perry, come home ♪

(Candace arrives)
Phineas: Hey, Candace, why don't you sing one?

Candace: Um... ♪ Oh, Perry, I think its kinda scary ♪
♪ I can't find you any where-y ♪
♪ It fills me with dispair-y? ♪

♪ Oh, Perry, I'm allergic to dairy ♪
♪ I'm gonna move to the prairie, ♪
♪ And change my name to Larry ♪

Phineas: Larry?
Candace: I ran out of rhymes, all right?

Crowd: ♪ She'll change her name to Larry! ♪
♪ Larry! ♪
Phineas: ♪ Larry! ♪


All: So, come home, Perry,
Come home, Perry, come home


♪ So, come home, Perry ♪
♪ Come home, Perry, come home ♪

♪ Come home, Perry, come home ♪


(Perry chatters)


Candace: Oh, there you are, Perry.


Phineas: Perry!

(Phineas, Ferb, Isabella, Baljeet and the Fireside Girls hug Perry)


Buford: (Comes and takes Candace's microphone) Good job, Larry.

Candace: Welcome home.

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