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  • Narrator: Snark Chat with Bubble Bass.
  • Bubble Bass: And we're back. My first guest had dinner with me just last night. He's a close personal friend of mine. Please welcome the Krabby Patty. [audience clap] Great to have you back on the program.
  • Krabby Patty: Great to be here, BB.
  • Bubble Bass: Well, I'm sorry to say it, but last night, you were not quite as delicious as one would hope.
  • Krabby Patty: Oh don't worry, I'm sure Mr. Krabs will give you a refund. [percussion sting] [laughter]
  • Mama Bass: Bubble Bass, who are you talking to down there?
  • Bubble Bass: Mother! Please stop trying to undermine my fantasy talk show! [Krabby Patty thuds] Mmph.
  • Mama Bass: You march yourself upstairs this instant! Take out the garbage, dry the dishes, and walk the worm!
  • Bubble Bass: Ooh, I don't feel like it! Huh? [Mama Bass throws garbage, two dishes, and the worm at Bubble Bass] That tears it, Mother! [grunts] I am moving out! [slams the front door]
  • Mama Bass: Moving? Hah! You can't even do your own laundry! [grunts]
  • Bubble Bass: [underwear lands on Bubble Bass's face, and a fly is heard buzzing. SpongeBob and Patrick are laughing in the background] All I need to do is find two able-bodied idiots. But where am I to find such stupidity on such short notice? Hm... [wagoon crashes into Bubble Bass]
  • SpongeBob: Whoops. [Bubble Bass grunts] Sorry, Bubble Bass.
  • Bubble Bass: Why you two able-bodied idiots! I— [gasps] Ooh. [Patrick sobbers and Spongebob blinks strangely] Why, SpongeBob and Patrick, my occasional friends. How would you two like to earn a free lunch?
  • Patrick: Freeeeeee lunch! [His head turns as if a balloon and then explodes]'
  • Bubble Bass: All righty, we're moving all of my belongings out of my mother's basement into my grandmother's basement across town. Let's start with my lounge.
  • SpongeBob: Okay, Patrick, up with the loveseat. [grunts]
  • Bubble Bass: [fakes having his back popped by breaking a stick] Ow! My bad back! I guess you two will have to move everything without me. So I'll meet you both at this address.
  • SpongeBob: But don't you have to pack your things before we can move 'em?
  • Bubble Bass: Ooh, ahh, I guess you'll have to pack my stuff too. But remember with gastric prizes await your mouths.
  • Spongebob: [beat horn blares from ship] Oh, Patrick [puts a finger inside Patrick's mouth, causing him to fill up and release water]
  • Bubble Bass: [laughs]
  • Spongebob: Okay, Patrick, let's get p-p-p-packing!
  • Patrick: [grumbles trying to fit a stool into the box, breaking the stool in the process] [hums]
  • SpongeBob: Oh... [grunts] [puts on welder's helmet and turns on torch] [hums] [laughs]
  • SpongeBob: [pushes computers in the box grunting]
  • Patrick: [grunts] [water from toilet splashes] [toilet shatters]
  • SpongeBob: [grunts]
  • Both: [both grunt trying to push wooden planks]
  • Patrick: [hits mail-box with an ax, causing clanging]
  • SpongeBob: [exclaims]' [spits out mail]'
  • Patrick: [gasps]
  • SpongeBob: [grunts]
  • Patrick: All right, that's the last of it.
  • SpongeBob: Whew, I hope we didn't leave anything behind.
  • Patrick: [grunts] [part of the house clangs]
  • Kids: [laughs]
  • SpongeBob: [grunts]
  • Old Man Jenkins: [screams]
  • Both: [grunts]
  • SpongeBob: Oh pardon us, ma'am, but could you walk around?
  • Ms. Mildred: Walk around? Hmph, I'm Lady Upturn the 333rd, and you want me to walk around? [laughs] I'm afraid you just have to back it up.
  • SpongeBob: Back it up? [backup alarm blares] Okay. Back it up, Patrick.
  • Patrick: What'd you say?
  • SpongeBob: [grunts] Oh, oh, oh!
  • Patrick: [grunts] [giggles afterward]
  • SpongeBob: [pants] [screams]
  • Ms. Mildred: [screams] [grunts]
  • Both (SpongeBob and Patrick): [exclaims]
  • Ms. Mildred: Oh! [spits shoe out]
  • Both (SpongeBob and Patrick): [both exclaim] [cars vroom, scratching their behind] Huh? [embarrassed shock]
  • SpongeBob: Phew, hey, Patrick, from now on, we gotta be more careful. Huh? Patrick...
  • Patrick: [giggles, thinking about the free lunch] [SpongeBob blows the thought away] [exclaims]
  • SpongeBob: Oh, focus, Patrick, focus!
  • Patrick: Okay. [grunts "focusing"]
  • SpongeBob: Ah, that's perfect. [grunts] [laughs] [grunts again]
  • Patrick: [giggles] [starts grunting]
  • Both: Hmm? [screams]
  • Snail: [meows after being stuck on the bag]
  • Old Man Jenkins: [mumbles] I can walk! [turns around] Oh!
  • Kids: [laughs] [Ryan screams, along with SpongeBob and Patrick] [bag comes back to get the other two] Oh!
  • Old Man Jenkins: [exclaims briefly]
  • Babies: [laughter]
  • Both (SpongeBob and Patrick): Babies?!
  • SpongeBob: [grunts] [motor revs]
  • Both: [screams] [tires screech]
  • Babies: [babbles]
  • Bag: [thuds on SpongeBob and Patrick]
  • Random People: [scream]
  • Patrick: [grunts] SpongeBob? Where are you?
  • SpongeBob: [grunts] I'm down here. [giggles]
  • Patrick: [giggles] Shall we, SpongeBob?
  • SpongeBob: We shall, Patrick
  • Both: [both hum]
  • Babies: [laughter]
  • Both: Babies? No! [screams]
  • Babies: [laughter]
  • Both: Whoa! [both grunt]
  • SpongeBob: Hmm...Hm? [turns paper around] Hey, this is the address! We made it, Patrick! Nice aim, babies!
  • Patrick: Hooray! Now, where's that free lunch? [slurps] [thinks again about it]
  • SpongeBob: [groans] [slaps Patrick] Focus! Let's get all this stuff inside the house, then we can eat. Hmm, hmm.
  • Patrick: Hmm, hmm.
  • Both: [both hum]
  • SpongeBob: Oh, Bubble Bass, special delivery. [shocked] Hmm? Okay, Patrick, push it!
  • Both: [both grunt] [bag thuds]
  • Patrick: [goes through the back door to pull it] [becomes muscular] [destroys the house] And that's how you do it.
  • SpongeBob: [frightened] Uh-oh, Patrick. Look what we did to Bubble Bass's granny's house.
  • Random Guy: This isn't Bubble Bass's grandmother's house. That is! [turns to Bubble Bass's grandmother's house] This was my house!
  • SpongeBob: Well, that's a relief. For a minute there, I thought we did something wrong.
  • Both: Whew.
  • Random Guy: [blows up]
  • Both: [both grunt]
  • SpongeBob: [looks down] Don't look down, Patrick!
  • Patrick: [zips eyes] I turned off my eyes. [wind gusting]
  • SpongeBob: [whimpers] Whoa, whoa, whoa! Oh! [hiccups] Uh-oh, Patrick, I think I have the— [hiccups again] Hiccups.
  • Patrick: Hiccups? I want some. I'm so hungry!
  • SpongeBob: [hiccups again, exclaims] Here comes another one, Patrick.
  • Patrick: [blocks Spongebob's hiccup, grunting]
  • SpongeBob: Thanks, buddy. We're almost there. Just a few more steps, and we'll claim that free lunch.
  • Patrick: Yeah— [hiccups saying "Hiccup!"]
  • Both: [bridge collapses, both grunt]
  • SpongeBob: Well, this is a dilly of a pickle.
  • Babies: [laughter]
  • Ms. Mildred: Back it up!
  • Both: [both scream]
  • Ms. Mildred: Back it up! [x2]
  • Babies: [laughter]
  • Ms. Mildred: [hits Patrick in the head with a shoe]
  • Both (SpongeBob and Patrick): [both scream] Oof, ta-da, Oof.
  • Bubble Bass: I hope you didn't damage my goods.
  • SpongeBob: Oh, your goods are all good, Bubble Bass. And we sure build up an appetite for that free lunch.
  • Patrick: [gulps out a bib and fork and knife]
  • Bubble Bass: Oh, yes, about that. I'm afraid I was waiting for you so long that I ate them. [eats the paper bags] Mmm. [belches]
  • SpongeBob: [whimpers]
  • Patrick: [inhales and swallows the fork, knife, and bib. grumbles] If my friend SpongeBob doesn't get his free lunch, [a realistic close-up of Patrick's face] things are gonna get crazy! [pants while Bubble Bass melts]
  • SpongeBob: That is the meanest thing I ever saw, Bubble Bass. You, sir, have crossed the line of aquatic decency. You may think you took a couple of bottom feeders for a ride today, but I got a newsflash for you, slappy. These bottom feeders wouldn't eat your free lunch if you paid us.
  • Patrick: I would.
  • SpongeBob: Come, Patrick. I'll make you a free Krabby Patty for $2.50 plus tax.
  • Bubble Bass: [laughs] well, you pulled it off, Bubble Bass. And you didn't even have to flick a fin. [hums]
  • Mama Bass: [growls] Bubble Bass, why do you think it's funny to pack your mother in a box and drag her all over town?
  • Bubble Bass: Mother? [grunts]
  • Mama Bass: We'll just see how you like it. [grunts]
  • Bubble Bass: I didn't do it! Ow! Mother, please— [grunts] It was SpongeBob and Patrick! [grunts] I'll dry the dishes, Mommy. [grunts] I love you, Mommy.