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  • Gamora: I thought you said you could outrun them.
  • Star-Lord: Have they caught us yet? Not yet.
  • Yondu: Listen up good, Quill, I want want yo stole from us.
  • Taserface: Yeah, give us back--hey, wait, is he talking about that thing that we stole from someone else?
  • Yondu: Yeah, the Build Stone. Whoever has it can build amazing and powerful stuff, anything they can imagine! We's gonna sell it, Taserface, and make all kinds of units. You hear me, Quill?
  • Star-Lord: Oh, if these guys hit my ship one more time.
  • Gamora: Hold on to that Build Stone, Rocket.
  • Rocket: I get it, I got it! Alright, let's see what this baby can do. Oh yeah, maybe this'll slow 'em down.
  • Stan Lee: Why does this keep happening to me?
  • Yondu: I'm gonna blast you out of the sky, boyo, and them stop by Earth for my favorite barbecue sauce so my crew can eat ya.
  • Star-Lord: Hang on!
  • Drax: Do something, Quill.
  • Star-Lord: I'm working on it! Trying to keep my ship in one piece right now.
  • Rocket: We can't let him get this thing, right, Groot? You're just a potted plant.
  • Star-Lord: We gotta get it to the Avengers. They'll know what to fo with it, but right now I know the perfect ting to shake Yondu off our tail.
  • Yondu: Oh, no, no, no, stop it, Quill. You know I got space-sick.
  • All: (Laughs)
  • Yondu: Whoa!
  • Star-Lord: Who's got no thumbs and is the best pilot you ever saw? That's right, this guy.
  • Gamora: Quill, look out!
  • Star-Lord: Thieves!
  • Gamora: Ronan.
  • Star-Lord: Why are you so accusey, Ronan?
  • Ronan: It's my name, Ronan the Accuser. Also I'm pretty good at destruction and mayhem. That's my real passion.
  • Nebula: Ah, dumb, cheap portal remote! You couldn't have sprung for a new model?
  • Ronan: I accuse you of being bad with technology, Nebula.
  • Nebula: And I accuse you of being a micromanager.
  • Ronan: Give me the Build Stone thhat Yondu stole from me that you stole from Yondu.
  • Rocket: We can't give that blue-faced clown this thing! I could build all sorts of cool weapons with it.
  • Gamora: You always wanna build cool weapons.
  • Rocket: Hey, I didn't hear you complaining when I made you that can opener/laser cannon/toenail clipper.
  • Gamora: I did complain, it almost took my toes off!
  • Groot: I am Groot!
  • Rocket: I said I didn't hear you!
  • Star-Lord: We got company.
  • Yondu: Oh, I see. Now you're negotiayting with Quill to buy the Build Stone that I rightfully stole!
  • Ronan: I need that thing to give to someone who has terrible plans for Earth. Your failire negates our personal services contract.
  • Yondu: Don't srgue contract law with a Ravager. I'll, I'll, I'll eat ya!
  • Star-Lord: Okay, just back it up. Take this outside? Anytime, anywhere.
  • Both: Huh?
  • Star-Lord: Uh-oh.
  • Rocket: I should not be allowed to have this! Hey, you can't--wow, you grew up fast, didn't you? (Grunts) Oh, man.
  • Groot: I am Groot.
  • Rocket: Hey, no, don't push that, it's not a toy!
  • Gamora: You got us in this mess, Quill. Now get us out!
  • Star-Lord: Hey, I've got a plan. Let's not let Ronan or Yondu anywhere near Earth or this Build Stone.
  • Rocket: How are we gonna do that, Star-Lord? I said that while making air quotes, by the way.
  • Star-Lord: Leave that to me.
  • Gamora: And how will you-- are you crazy? That portal looks completely unstable.
  • Ronan: Open another portal! Make it work, make it work!
  • Nebula: Can't you see me smashing buttons here/ You wanna try? Be my guest.
  • Ronan: Oh!
  • Star-Lord: Oh, great, the portal spit us out in the middle of nowhere.
  • Gamora: Of course you would get us lost.
  • Star-Lord: No, Gamora, look, we're in the middle of Knowhere.
  • Gamora: Oh, wait, where are Drax, Rocket and Groot?
  • Star-Lord: Huh, must've lost 'em when we jumped through the portal. Ah, I'm sure they're fine.
  • Both: Ah!
  • Groot: I am Groot!
  • Gamora: I told you diving into that portal was a bad idea.
  • Star-Lord: Ha, it was a totally awesome Star-Lord move! Alright, so maybe it wasn't my best idea. They're fine! Even if they ended up in the vacuum of deep space.
  • Gamora: (Gasps)
  • Star-Lord: Nah, they're totally fine. Oh, hey! Well, at least we still have the Build Stone. We've gotta get this to the Avengers. Maybe if we ja to the Triangulum System and then take the 101 Space Express to Kryllor.
  • Gamora: Oh, you lack any sense of direction. The A42 Toll space road straight to Centauri-IV is the best route.
  • Star-Lord: What, are you kidding? No, it'll be slammed with Centauri going out for the four-day weekend.
  • Ronan: I made it! In your face, portal! (Laughs) ha, now that my forces are all here, we can destroy the Guardians of the Galaxy and get the Build Stone. Attack! Whoa!
  • Star-Lord: No, look, just straight to Galador, hang a left and then we--
  • Gamora: Great, e's going to strands out here in the middle of Knowhere.
  • Star-Lord: Nice, Gamora, that was my joke.
  • Ronan: Whoa, ha-ha!
  • Star-Lord: We need to split up, try to lose them in all the activity out here. You fly, I'll draw some of them away.
  • Gamora: That's lame, it'll never work.
  • Star-Lord: And, that's why they call me Star-Lord.
  • Gamora: You're the only one who calls yourself that.
  • Star-Lord: Well, then I should know. Sorry, my bad! Hey, Ronan the Complainer. Lookie what I got.
  • Ronan: Agh! Huh? Hey!
  • Star-Lord: Uh-oh! Whoa!
  • Star-Lord and Ronan: (Grunts and Laughs)
  • Star-Lord: Ha, will you look at that. Gamora, remember that plan we talked about?
  • Gamora: Uh, no.
  • Star-Lord: Oh, right, that makes sense 'cause I just made it up inside my brain. Look, I'm gonna draw him towards me, hit the brakes, and let Ronan fly past me into the portal. Oh, it's foolproof. It's not foolproof, it's not foolproof! Oh, whoa! You gotta be faster than-- Yondu, you came to save me! What? Hey!
  • Yondu: Thanks, Quill!
  • Star-Lord: Oh, that is so not cool. Oh, really don't wanna get eaten by this thing. Hey, right on time. Just like I planned.
  • Gamora: You didn't plan it.
  • Star-Lord: Yep, totally planned it genius move. This is so creepy.
  • Gamora: Okay, genius, now what?
  • Star-Lord: Uh, this, follow me.
  • Gamora: Ugh, I am so done with this guy.
  • Ronan: Nebula, it's Ronan. I need you top open the portal again. What do you mean it's not working? Get it fixed. Call the IT department. Hello, hello? Ugh, I can't believe I have to build my ship again.
  • Gamora: Come on, get it under control. Not good, not good, not good! Well, that wasn't so bad. Oh boy, Star-Lord's gonna be star-mad that I dented his new ride. I don't know where these go without the instructions.
  • Drax: Quiet, Gamora.
  • Gamora: Drax? There you are!
  • Drax: Shush! I was just transported here on that strange portal, we all pass through. I do no think we all in the same place.
  • Gamora: Obviously.
  • Drax: I was destined to land here. Where I can attack and destroy my ultimate opponent, Thanos.

  • Thanos: I wish to be wasted everyone and everything in the universe to turn all things to... dust. Hm, but then no one will be left to worship me. Okay, I'll destroy half the universe. Then get the other half to bow down to me. Yes, I like that. Thus I will build the BLT. (Laughs) Hm, what are you looking at? (Laughs) Time to check with Ronan.
  • Ronan: Hello? Oh hey, Thanos, what's up?
  • Thanos: Where is my build stone?
  • Ronan: Well, the one who sells himself Star-Lord stole it from the Ravagers who stole it from me.
  • Thanos: Then get it back! (Sighs)
  • Drax: Such fowl villainy. I can no longer take it. I must destroy him! (Screams)(Shouts) (Grumbling) (Grunts) (Panting) I... I will destroy you.
  • Thanos: Not today! I will destroy you! Now, toy will see my finishing move. I have a lot of time floating around here to think of finishing moves.
  • Gamora: Let him go, Dad! You never like any of my friends!
  • Thanos: That's because your friends are pests! (Groans)
  • Gamora: You just had to attack him, didn't you? Sometimes you are so hard-headed.
  • Drax: I am pretty sure my head is hard all the time.
  • Thanos: (Grunts)
  • Ronan: Hey, I think we got disconnected back there. Must be bad reception, the middle of Knowhere!
  • Thanos: No! Fools, you let them escape!

  • Ronan: Fine, fine, next time I won't buy the clearance model.
  • Thanos: Find them and get me my Build Stone!
  • Yondu: What took you so long?
  • Ronan: Ah, I have had a day. I had to call customer service three times about this remote.
  • Yondu: And did that help?
  • Ronan: No. They outsource their tech support at Stark Industries and I was talking to a robot, but no matter. Where is the Build Stone?
  • Yondu: Yeah, that was pretty tricky grabbing it from Quil at Nowhere. And now that 50 million units we talked about?
  • Rocket Raccoon: Alright, stay here, I'm gonna sneak closer.
  • Groot Small: I am Groot?
  • Rocket Raccoon: Don't worry. Just be careful around the soil. I don't like the color of it.
  • (Groot Small sees the Gamma Radiation on the soil and touches it)
  • Groot Small: I am root.
  • Ronan: Yes, Thanos intends to build a BLT with the Build Stone.
  • Rocket Raccon: Thanos is buildin a BLT? Oh, I could totally go for me of those. What?
  • Taserface: Hey! Lookie who I found creeping through the woods.
  • Ronan: That little beast! I accuse you of spyin.
  • Rocket Raccoon: Good call, yeah, obviously!
  • Taserface: Let's eat him, I bet he tastes like chicken.
  • (Star-Lord arrives)
  • Star-Lord: Oh, that portal experience is the worst. Okay, wait, what's happening here? Taserface, are you trying to eat someone again?
  • Ronan: I accuse you of being a party crasher!
  • Star-Lord: Rather than accusing how about a-blasting? (Grunts) Rocket, we gotta move!
  • Ronan: Get me the Build Stone! Don't let them escape!
  • Rocket Raccoon: Quill, toes me the Build Stone!
  • Ronan: I accuse them of hurting!
  • Star-Lord: Gimmie that, I got an idea.
  • Taserface: Oh!
  • Yondu: Oh, no! (Whistles) Alright, boy, time for you to pay for stealing from the Ravagers.
  • Star-Lord: Yondu, come on. I mean, didn't you always say I was like a son to you?
  • Yondu: Eh, more like a nephew, and that way or may not taste like chicken.
  • Taserface: Oh, oh, maybe we could eat 'em both.
  • Rocket Raccoon: Oh, again with the eating!
  • Ronan: Winning, there's nothing quite like it. By whatever you want with these two.
  • Yondu: There's still the matter of the, uh, well, the uh, 50 millions units!
  • Groot: I... am... Groot!
  • Ronan: (Shouts)
  • Rocket Raccon: Our little twig grow up! I'm so proud of him. Go get 'em, big guy!
  • Ronan: (Grunts) Run away!
  • Yondu: Head for the poral! No, Yondu first!
  • Ronan: What do you think you're doing?
  • Yondu: (Whimpers) I will not sit on your lap! Move it, move it, go, go, go!
  • Star-Lord: Yeah, good job, buddy. Oh, boy
  • Rocket Raccoon: Hey, calm down already.
  • Star-Lord: Groot?
  • Mantis: Calm your mind, Groot. Feel your inner peace.
  • Rocket Raccoon: What is she doing to him?
  • Star-Lord: Hey, Mantis, nice to see you.
  • Mantis: Shh, can't you see I am using my empathic powers to calm is rage?
  • Rocket Raccon: Well, Quill, can't you see that?
  • Groot: I am Groot.
  • Mantis: All better now. I was out here communing with the forest and suddenly sensed Groot's rage. He got overloaded from the radioactive soil.
  • Rocket Raccon: Must be gamma radiation.
  • Star-Lord: Surprised he didn't turn big and green.
  • Groot: I am Groot.
  • Rocket Raccoon: We gotta get moving. Ronan is taking the Build Stone to Thanos as we speak.
  • Star-Lord: Thanos, he's involved?
  • Rocket Raccon: Isn't he always?
  • Star-Lord: I've actually got a plan. You three take those ships. We have to stop Ronan and Thanos.
  • Mantis: Whatever you need, Peter.
  • Groot: I am Groot.
  • Rocket Raccon: You know, it was so much easier to jam you into a ship when you were just a twig.
  • Star-Lord: It's time to guard the galaxy.
  • Thanos: And now I will build something super. The BLT.
  • Ronan: Mmm, mmm, mmm.
  • Thanos: Hm? The Big Laser Thingy!
  • Ronan: Wow, that is impressive.
  • Thanos: When this is assembled, I will start my destruction of half the universe with this puny planet. I will reduce to nothingness and prove the power of the Build Stone. Ah, this is a little embarrassing.It's not quite all assembled yet. It should just take a minute. (Growls) What are you guys doing later?
  • Star-Lord: Surprise! I'm going after the portal remote, cover me! Dodgin bricks, evading enemy fire, and I'm hit!
  • Nebula: Huh? Ugh! Ow!
  • Star-Lord: Uh, nope. (Grunts) Oh wow, yeah, this is the cheapest remote ever.
  • Nebula: Tell me about it.
  • Star-Lord: Ah! Ow. The Guardians of the Galaxy are back in the build--oh!
  • Nebula: Uh-oh. Ahhh!
  • Ronan: (Shouts)
  • Rocket Raccon: I got it, I got it. Oh yeah, nice reach, Groot!
  • Thanos: You're too late. The BLT is about complete, as is my overly complex and devious plan.
  • Nebula: (Grunts)
  • Star-lord: Ha-ha, whoa! Rocket, time to use that Build Stone!
  • Rocket Raccon: Yeah, I'm on it, I'm on it.
  • Groot: I am Groot, I am Groot, I am Groot.
  • Rocket Raccoon: I'm actually aware of the situation we're in, Groot!
  • Ronan: (Grunts)
  • Star-Lord: Coming through, I'll be taking that.
  • Rocket Raccoon: Come on, come on.
  • Thanos: (Laughs)
  • Ronan: Huh?
  • Mantis: (Gasps)
  • Thanos: Say goodbye to your planet, Star-Lord.
  • Rocket Raccon: And got it!
  • Star-Lord: Huh?
  • Rocket Raccoon: (Laughs) The BLT is mine! Yes, now this is what I'm talking about!
  • Star-Lord: Oh, here's the problem, the decal's upside down. Rocket, herd 'em into the portal.
  • Both: Ah!
  • Nebula: Well, I don't think this plan could get much worse. I stand corrected!
  • Ronan: Run away! Run away, come on, Nebula!
  • Thanos: I accuse you both of being failures.
  • Star-Lord: Another successfully executed Star-Lord plan.
  • Drax: Hand over that forsaken device.
  • Rocket Raccoon: So, what do we do with this?
  • Star-Lord: Like I always planned, we give it to him.
  • Thor: Thank you, my furry friend. I will take this to Asgard to keep safe. Oh, no, ah! Got you! (Laughs)
  • Rocket Raccoon: Man, I was gonna use it to build a really big weapon.
  • Gamora: You mean something bigger than that?
  • Stan Lee: Now that's what I call a Big Laser Thingy.
  • Rocket Raccoon: Yeah, oh it's cool, isn't it?
  • Drax: The rodent team member always wants to build a big weapon.
  • Rocket Raccoon: Yeah?
  • Drax: I like that about you.
  • Rocket Raccoon: Now you're talking, Destroyer Man!
  • Star-Lord: Hey guys, while we're in the neighborhood, let's go to my favorite deli. For some I am crawing a BLT.
  • Groot: I am Groot!
  • Drax: What is a deli?
  • Star-Lord: It's a place that makes sandwiches.
  • Rocket Raccoon: Wait, you can eat a BLT? I thought it was a Big Laser Thingy?