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  • (This episode begins at the Bar)
  • Chopper: [Droid Language]
  • Zeb: Right. Like I'd let a droid tell me how to play sabacc. I'm in.
  • Chopper: [Angry Chattering]
  • Kanan: Hey, it doesn't have to be a big job, Jho. Just something to put fuel in the Ghost and food in our bellies.
  • Jho: Sorry, Kanan. Got nothing. But the stranger playing with Zeb over there said he was looking to hire a ship and crew. Go talk to him.
  • Alien: [Angry Grunt]
  • Zeb: Guess it's down to you and me. Except-- [Nervous Chuckle] it seems I'm all outta creds.
  • Chopper: [Mocking Sound]
  • Zeb: So, I'll bet my droid.
  • Chopper: Chatters]
  • Kanan: Whoa. You can't bet Chopper. He's-- [Whistles]
  • Zeb: See? I can't lose. And you know we need the credits.
  • Kanan: Right.
  • Chopper: [Angry Grunt]
  • Kanan: Do it.
  • Chopper: [Angry Chattering]
  • Zeb: So, do we have a bet?
  • Lando: [Laughing] We do.
  • Zeb: Sabacc! [Laughing] I win.
  • Lando: Not so fast. It appears I have an Idiot's Array. Which makes you, well--
  • Zeb: [Growls] And what does that make you?
  • Lando: Name's Calrissian. Lando Calrissian. Now please, introduce me to my new droid.
  • Chopper: [Droid Language]
  • Zeb: Hi. I can explain.
  • Hera: Explain what?
  • Kanan: Hera, Sabine, Ezra. This is Lando Calrissian. He needs a fast ship to move some cargo past the Imperial blockade of Lothal.
  • Lando: Yes. For some reason, this planet has an unusually large Imperial presence. But are you sure you can get this vessel past the blockade, Captain Hera, is it?
  • Hera: It is. And the Ghost can mask both its signal and signature. We'll get you past the blockade. What's the cargo?
  • Lando: I was told "No questions asked.
  • Hera: That's fine. It just costs more.
  • Lando: Kanan and I already settled on a price. But I assume he requires your approval.
  • Hera: He doesn't.
  • Lando: Excellent. When the job's done, you'll be paid handsomely, and, as agreed, I'll return your droid.
  • Hera: Return our droid?
  • Chopper: [Angry Chattering]
  • Zeb: Uh, yeah. Funny story. You see, Lando and I were playing sabacc, and I kinda bet Chopper.
  • Hera: Garazeb Orrelios, Chopper wasn't yours to bet!
  • Zeb: Kanan said it was okay.
  • Hera: And you should know better! Chopper is a member of this crew!
  • Lando: Whoa, whoa, whoa. We should go. I need to pick up my cargo, and I don't want to keep my supplier waiting. Besides, if all goes well, there won't be anything for you good people to argue about.
  • Hera: [Groans]
  • Lando: Oh, you're quite the pilot. That's the smoothest takeoff I've had in years.
  • Hera: And you're quite the smooth-talking smuggler.
  • Lando: "Smuggler"? Such a small word. I'm more of a galactic entrepreneur. That means businessperson.
  • Kanan: I know what it means. Chopper, I need you to fix the signature modulator so we can get past the blockade.
  • Chopper: [Droid Language]
  • Hera: Chopper's right. He's no longer a part of the crew. He doesn't have to do what you tell him anymore.
  • Lando: I can see you have some things to work out. I wonder, my new friend, if you'd be kind enough to give me a tour of this fine ship.
  • Chopper: [Droid Language] [Droid Language] [Droid Language Continues]
  • Lando: Why, thank you, Chopper.
  • Zeb: Can't believe the little bolt bucket's actually waiting on that guy.
  • Ezra: I can't believe you lost Chopper. Good thing I wasn't there. You'd have bet me.
  • Zeb: Mmm, nah. You wouldn't have covered the pot. Besides, I think Calrissian cheated.
  • Ezra: You're just a sore loser. Lando seems nice enough.
  • Zeb: I'm telling you, I don't like that guy.
  • Lando: Sabine. I understand this is your work. Reminds me of Janyor's protest paintings on Bith.
  • Sabine: Janyor of Bith is a major influence.
  • Lando: Well, your work is even more stunning in its simplicity.
  • Ezra: Hey, I told you your stuff was good months ago.
  • Sabine: Yeah, but you didn't know why.
  • Lando: [Clicks Tongue] Oh, milady, that's hardly fair. He's just a child with no experience of the galaxy.
  • Sabine: I, um I don't suppose you'd like to see my more impressionistic pieces?
  • Lando: I happen to be an impressionistic connoisseur. That means--
  • Ezra: I know what it means. Hey, what does that mean?
  • Zeb: A lot less than he thinks.
  • Ezra: I don't like that guy.
  • Lando: Merchant-One, this is Calrissian. Requesting permission to dock.
  • Male Voice: You have the goods?
  • Lando: Always.
  • Azmorigan: Ah, then permission granted.
  • Lando: Now, whatever I say, just play along.
  • Kanan: Wait. What does that mean?
  • Hera: I hope you have a backup plan in case something goes wrong.
  • Lando: No fear, Captain. If a comet hits, this ship has escape pods.
  • Hera: That's not exactly the kind of "wrong" I had in mind.
  • Lando: Good to see you again, Azmorigan.
  • Azmorigan: I have what you ordered. Mmm, mmm. What do you have to offer in return?
  • Lando: Her name is Hera.
  • Hera: [Gasps]
  • Kanan: What? You can't do this!
  • Lando: Trust me.
  • Kanan: Hera!
  • Hera: A deal's a deal, Kanan.
  • Azmorigan: [Grumbling] Well, her attire is, uh, preposterous, but the trade is, uh, mmm is acceptable.
  • Hera: Thank you, Lord Calrissian, for delivering me to my new master. I must find a way to repay you.
  • Lando: Please don't let it concern you.
  • Azmorigan: Enough prattle. Eh, you disturb my supper. [Belches] Uh, take your cargo and go.
  • Lando: As always, Azmorigan, a pleasure doing business with you.
  • Sabine: Where's Hera?
  • Kanan: Tell her about Hera, Lando.
  • Lando: Hera is following the plan, which is what we should be doing if we want to get her back.
  • Zeb: Where's Hera?
  • Kanan: What plan is she following?
  • Lando: I told her to take an escape pod.
  • Kanan: You never told her that.
  • Lando: I did, actually. Weren't you paying attention? Besides, Hera strikes me as very capable. We are lucky to have a captain like her.
  • Kanan: I know that. Wait. What do you mean, "we"?
  • Sabine: Quite a day you're having. First, you lose Chopper, now Hera.
  • Ezra: What's in here?
  • Lando: Sophisticated mining equipment.
  • Puffer pig: [Snorting]
  • Ezra: Uh, sounds like your sophisticated mining equipment is snoring.
  • Lando: Just don't open the box. And whatever you do, keep it calm.
  • Chopper: [Droid Language]
  • Azmorigan: Ah. [Smacking] [Slurping] [Hawks, Spits] You need food?
  • Hera: I seem to have lost my appetite. But perhaps you'd like me to serve you.
  • Azmorigan: Yes, yes, yes, yes, yes. Good practice for you. Uh, serve me, serve me. [Stammering] Be quick about it.
  • Hera: And perhaps you 'd prefer to dine alone?
  • Azmorigan: Mmm. Oh, yes. Go, go. Leave us. Beat it!
  • Hera: Take the whole tray.
  • Azmorigan: What are you talking about? [Thump] [Gasps] [Groans]
  • Hera: The master desires a little more alone time while I change clothes in my quarters. [Thump] That was a really useful tray.
  • Azmorigan: That Twi'lek's my property, and I want my property back here now!
  • Lando: In a pod, as discussed. You really should have more faith in our captain.
  • Kanan: Our captain?
  • Sabine: Um, we'll go prep the airlock. [On Comm] Kanan, Hera's aboard.
  • Lando: [On Comm] We should probably make ourselves scarce.
  • Kanan: Somebody should.
  • Lando: You played that perfectly. Thank you.
  • Hera: Oh, you're welcome.
  • Lando: [Coughing] I deserved that. But can we get back to the job at hand flying us past the Imperial blockade Otherwise, I don't have to pay you or give your droid back.
  • Hera: What was in that crate?
  • Lando: Come on. I'll show you.
  • Ezra: Calrissian said not to open it.
  • Zeb: Yes. [Chuckles] He did. [Grunts]
  • Puffer pig: [Snorting]
  • Ezra: Uh, kinda cute, whatever it is.
  • Zeb: [Sniffing]
  • Puffer pig: [Squealing]
  • Ezra: Catch it!
  • Puffer pig: [Squealing] [Snorts]
  • Lando: That's what was in the crate. Grab that puffer-pig, but don't scare her.
  • Zeb: Got her!
  • Lando: You're scaring her! I told you not to scare her.
  • Zeb: I'm not scaring her! Karabast!
  • Hera: Whoa.
  • Sabine: Whoa!
  • Lando: You see? You scared her.
  • Kanan: What is going on out here?
  • Ezra: It's a, um, puffer--
  • Kanan: I don't want to know. We've reached the blockade. I could really use Hera on this side of the pig right about now.
  • Zeb: Yeah, I don't see that happening.
  • Hera: Any idea what the Imperials are hoping to find with this blockade?
  • Lando: Rebels?
  • Hera: Besides that.
  • Lando: Unauthorized mining equipment, perhaps.
  • Hera: And why would they be looking for that?
  • Lando: Maybe because I tried smuggling some here a week ago. Don't worry. The Imperials are scanning for equipment, machinery. But our girl here is Their scanners won't detect her, so long as your ship can mask its signature.
  • Hera: You know it can't until you ask Chopper to fix it.
  • Lando: [Laughing] You're catching on. All right, my little friend. Would you like to be a hero and fix it for me?
  • Chopper: [Droid Language]
  • Scanning Technician: Admiral. This Corellian ship matches the description of the rebel craft we've been looking for.
  • Kanan: Okay, signature modulator's back online. And just in time.
  • Kassius Konstantine: No. Its signature reads the freighter Tontine, authorized for travel between Boz Pity and Lothal. Tontine, prepare for scanning.
  • Lando: Sabine, once we get back to Lothal, I'd love to purchase some of your art.
  • Sabine: Really? My work. You'd pay?
  • Ezra: Oh, he'll pay.
  • Man: Scans clear, Tontine. You may proceed.
  • Kanan: We're gonna make it!
  • Ezra: [Grunting]
  • Puffer pig: [Squealing]
  • Zeb: Kid, not a good idea.
  • Scanning Technician: The signature was masked. That's the rebel ship!
  • Kassius Konstantine: All ships open fire!
  • Zeb: Uh, Kanan, when they shoot at us, Hera usually shoots back.
  • Kanan: Yeah, well, I'm not Hera, and I'm having enough trouble just keeping ahead of these guys.
  • Hera: [On Comm] Cloud cover!
  • Kanan: What?
  • Hera: Find some.
  • Kanan: Oh. Right. Good call, Hera. I think we're in the clear. You know, your job's a lot harder than it looks.
  • Lando: Nice. He finally appreciates you.
  • Hera: All right. Enough with the divide and conquer. You think by setting us against each other, you'll keep us off-balance enough to get what you want? But what you want depends on my crew working together in sync. Is that clear?
  • Lando: As crystal, Captain.
  • Ezra: [Grunts] A little help? This time, try to keep it calm.
  • Zeb: We don't want you inflating it again.
  • Ezra: Hey, it wasn't my fault.
  • Hera: This is your land?
  • Lando: Bought if off a charming fellow named Vizago.
  • Hera: Perfect. But why was it so important to get this pig here?
  • Lando: Because a puffer-pig has a nose for precious minerals. It can do the job of a dozen mining scanners.
  • Hera: And the Empire doesn't want private landholders mining Lothal.
  • Kanan: We're done here. Pay us, and we'll be on our way.
  • Azmorigan: He has other debts to pay.
  • Lando: Azmorigan?
  • Azmorigan: Did you forget I introduced you to Vizago, huh? I knew where you were headed.
  • Lando: But your ship You couldn't have hidden it anywhere close. Did you walk here? You don't walk anywhere.
  • Azmorigan: Well, I do what's necessary to claim my property, Calrissian.
  • Hera: What do you want?
  • Azmorigan: My demands are simple. I want my pig back and you. Plus this ship and this crew as compensation for my sore feet. But first first, I want to bury Calrissian.
  • Hera: Yeah, yeah, I understand the feeling. But no.
  • Kanan: Now, wait. Let's consider that last demand for a sec.
  • Azmorigan: [Grumbling] I've run out of patience! Get them!
  • Hera: Get back!
  • Sabine: Chopper, don't hide there! It's a fuel canister!
  • Kanan: No lightsabers, not unless we're--
  • Ezra: You worry too much.
  • Kanan: Hey, mine doesn't do that.
  • Ezra: Nope. I might not be able to sword fight yet, but I can shoot.
  • Kanan: Kid, you continue to impress.
  • Sabine: Nice shot, Lando!
  • Ezra: Yeah, just not as much as Lando.
  • Chopper: [Grumbling] [Grunting, Chittering]
  • Puffer pig: [Squeals] [Squealing]
  • Hera: Zeb. The pig! Scare it!
  • Zeb: What? How?
  • Hera: Just be you.
  • Puffer pig: [Squealing]
  • Zeb: Hey, pig!
  • Puffer pig: [Screeches]
  • Sabine: [Shouts] [Squeals]
  • Chopper: [Droid Language]
  • Zeb: You're welcome! [Groans]
  • Azmorigan: New terms: I get Calrissian, and this one lives. I get Calrissian, and you all can go free.
  • Ezra: You got it.
  • Kanan: Deal.
  • Hera: It's tempting, but the answer's still "no.
  • Chopper: [Droid Language]
  • Zeb: [Yelps] Whoa!
  • Chopper: [Chatters]
  • Hera: My terms: You and your men leave now, and we let you live. Start walking.
  • Azmorigan: [Whimpering]
  • Lando: I like everything that just happened except that you let Azmorigan live. That'll be a problem for me later.
  • Hera: I think you have a problem now. You don't have the credits you owe us, do you?
  • Lando: But I will once my baby's worked her magic.
  • Hera: You mean, if she finds what you're looking for and you've mined and smuggled it off world?
  • Lando: I can give you back your droid.
  • Chopper: [Chattering]
  • Hera: That won't satisfy your debt to me. Not after what you pulled.
  • Lando: Then how about we settle that debt with a little game of sabacc?
  • Hera: Then you'll just have to owe me one.
  • Lando: Don't worry, my small metal friend. We shall meet again.
  • Chopper: [Angry Grunt]
  • Zeb: Oh, come on. I saved your circuits. Isn't that apology enough?
  • Chopper: [Blows Raspberry]
  • Kanan: So that's it? We just walk away without the creds?
  • Hera: Well, we got Chopper back.
  • Kanan: I'm looking for a positive here.
  • Hera: There are a lot of things we couldn't accomplish without him. You should appreciate that more.
  • Ezra: I always appreciated you, Sabine.
  • Sabine: Yes, Ezra, I know.
  • Hera: Course, we still need food and fuel.
  • Chopper: [Hoots]
  • Sabine: Oh, hey, Chopper stole Lando's fuel!
  • Zeb: You mean he was playing Lando the whole time? Good job, Chopper.
  • Chopper: [Whooping]
  • Kanan: Anyone that fools Lando is okay with me.
  • Lando: Of course I knew they took the fuel. That's why I didn't pay them. A gambler never shows his cards. Till we meet again!
  • [End of Idiot's Array]

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