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Hotel Transylvania Hotel Transylvania 3: Summer Vacation
Sony Pictures Animation's Hotel Transylvania 2 - iTunes Movie Poster

Hotel Transylvania 2 is a 2015 animated film.

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Welcome! Welcome! Congrats, Drac. Holy smokes, everybody's here. Mr. and Mrs. Loughran, the parents of the groom, and family. Mom and Dad! Johnny! I can't believe you're all here. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah! Yo, how hot is my date? So hot. Wow. How 'bout how hot mine is? You got a date? Yeah. She's invisible. That's why you can't see her. Oh, right. This is the one from "Canada"? Wedding's starting. Ah! Oh! Aw! Whoo-hoo! Great. True. So true, Marty. Aw! Aw. How sweet. Oh, my. Look at you. Oh, my gosh. Oh. Is it everything you wanted, my little poisonberry? Oh, it is, Daddy. Except where's Grandpa Vlad? Honey, your gramps would not have been cool with this. He's old-school. How do we know? If he could just meet Johnny... He would have eaten him. He's not as enlightened as your hip Daddy. So, you're really okay with him not being a monster? Human, monster, unicorn, as long as you're happy. Thanks, Dad. ? And you'll always be my moonlight ? But now on wings of love you soar ? Now that you're Johnny's girl ? Johnny's girl ? And kind of Daddy's, too ? Your mom would be so happy ? 'Cause she always knew ? Love is making room for all the best in you? Hey, Dad. Oh, hey, guys! Todd, take a break. So, what's up? Mavis was wondering if maybe you wanted to go for a fly. Oh. We haven't done that in forever. Any special reason? No special reason at all. Right, Mavey? What's his deal? He's silly. It's just a beautiful night, and... Well, if you don't want to... No, no! Are you kidding? I would eat a bucket of garlic to fly with you. Oh, honey, look at those fluffy clouds. Remember what we played when you were little? Hide and Go Seek Sharp Objects? Okay. Regular Hide and Go Seek. Where are you? Honeybat! Mavey! Honeybat! I'm gonna get you. Honey? Are you okay? Yes. It's just a little harder to catch my breath since I'm pregnant. Yes, well, I guess that would make it more... What? I'm gonna be a grandpa! And I'm gonna be a dad! ? 'Cause you're Daddy's girl, or boy ? Daddy's girl, or boy I'm hungry again, honey. Can you get me some ice cream with anchovies? No, no, no. You mustn't give in to your cravings. It's not good for the baby. You need to increase your spider intake, so he'll be able to climb ceilings properly. And eat lots of sheep bile. I love you, Dad, but we don't even know if the kid's gonna be a vampire. I'd be thrilled if the baby's human-y, just like Johnny. "Human-y. " With thousands of years of Dracula genes. Not gonna happen. As long as the baby's healthy. Of course. A healthy little vampire. Or human. Yes, a human who can fly as a bat. Here. Just have some monster ball soup. It's your mommy's recipe. Aw! Thank you, Dad. Just like you made it when I was a kid. My favorite. Sorry. Sir, only the father is allowed in the delivery room. Really? I mean, okay. He's the family, I guess. Oh, look! It's a girl! It's a girl! The Dracula bloodline carries on! No one will ever harm you as long as I'm here, my little devil dog. Dad, can I hold my baby? If I were Dad, I'd say yes. But I'm the nurse, Francine. Here you go anyway. My bad. Little Nessa is a year old now. Wow! Nice. Yeah. Cute kid. Okay, time for presents, guys. All right! Let's do this girl up! Check out what I got her. Bling! Wow. Is it cursed? Super cursed. Only the best. Straight from the crypt. She's just starting to walk, so maybe it's heavier than... Oh. You're okay, Nessisovich. Her name is Nessarose or Nessa . Named after my mother. It's not her vampire name. My little Nessisovichy-Weesovichy. Huh! Are we sure she's a vampire? I mean, not that it's a bad thing, but shouldn't she have fangs and that pasty skin you guys have? Technically, you have until you're five to get your vampire fangs. Oh, she'll get her fangs. She's a Dracula. She's also half Loughran. Maybe she'd be better off where we live. There's more humans there. What? Look how well she's playing with the wolf pups. We have a present. I hope it's acceptable. "My First Guillotine. " Very educational. Well played, Frank. It's great. Thank you. We just have to baby-proof that. Johnny, do you know where you put the rubber guards? Baby-proofing a guillotine? So you cut your finger off. It's part of the fun. She made me baby-proof the whole hotel. Someone's overprotective. Aah! Hmm? Johnny! Come quick! What's up? She's okay? Nessa said her first word! She did? Come on, honey. Say it again. Bleh, bleh-bleh. I don't say, "Bleh, bleh-bleh. " We didn't say you did. Then where did he get that? Bleh, bleh-bleh. Well, maybe sometimes you say it. I only say it when I say I don't say it! Bleh, bleh-bleh. Okay, kid. We get it. You can talk. Denisovich. Dad. Just checking for cavities. Bleh, bleh-bleh. Bleh, bleh-bleh. It was you! Oh, my goodness, Leonard. If you really looked that hideous, I don't think I could hang out with you. Guys, what's the deal? Is this a party? Pick up a phone. I don't care if Johnny said it's a "cool app. " Johnny's still new here. Now, Porridge Head, did you call a hearse for the Gremlinbergs? No, you're checking your Facebook page. Again. Drac, I told the guys social media is the best way to promote the hotel. Right, Clint? So, Drac, I wanted to go through some thoughts I had, as your new human relations coordinating co-assistant. Sure. It's a real job. Not a cheap excuse to keep Mavis happy, so you never leave here. Right. So, I was thinking, since we have so many humans now, maybe update some of the acts? Like, maybe the magician? What's wrong with Harry Three-Eye? Well, he might be a little old-school for the humans. Tell me, sir, what was your card? The three of spades? Is this your card, my friend? Whoa! No, Harry's great. Can't blame Harry for the crowd not being hip. Okay, what about Wayne? Wayne? Are you nuts? He's my boy. Then maybe something other than tennis? Okay, so, what you wanna do is lift the racket right on impact, so you get that nice top spin. Try and hit one. What is that? What's the noise? It's on me! It's just the cell phone I got you. Clint's sending you a text so you can practice how to write back. Oh! Eh... What the... It's not doing it. I got it. Now you can text Clifton. All right, fine. How do you do this? Maybe it's your fingernails. It's easy. Look. I'll text Mavis. Psyched for date night. See? And now look, she texted right back. "Gotta cancel. Can't leave Dennis. " Okay. Are we never allowed to be alone again? I need to feel loved, too. And send. Okay. All that taught me is that you're pathetic. Yeah, got it. Maybe you should just get Bluetooth. Okay. Blue Tooth, come over here. So, now what? Rise and shine, my Nessisovich. Hi, Papa. Hello, my little devil. Did you have sweet nightmares? Uh-huh. I dreamed that I saw a stegosaurus. Oh... And were you drinking his blood? No. Just throwing it out there. Hey! You want to do something cool? Yeah! I'm going to teach you how to turn into a bat. Like me. See? Cool. Yes! Cool, like I said. Now you try. I'm a bat. I'm a bat. I'm a bat. I'm a bat. I'm a bat. I mean, a real bat. I'm a bat! Denisovich. Take a breath. You can really turn into a bat. Try. Feel the bat. Not a chicken. What's that? The electric boogaloo? If I show you I can bust a move, will you try to fly, then? Uh-huh. Dad? Why are you guys dancing? Uh, she was sleep-dancing. Come on, sweetie. Back to bed. "Back to bed"? It's already after 8:00 p. m. Don't you remember the new sleep schedule? She's going to human classes half the day. Uh... If she could just sleep till 2:00 a. m. tonight, it'd be so great for her. But, honeydeath, six of Wayne's wolf pups are having a birthday party tonight. You wouldn't want her to miss that. Dad, I love the wolf pups, but they're a little too rough for Nessarose. "Too rough"? Haven't you noticed? Dennis is different. What are you saying? Nessisovich shouldn't be around monsters? I love monsters! Video! Video! Ha! Oh, you wanna show Papa Drac your monster video? Yeah! Who's the coolest monster? Kakie! Wee! Kakie one happy monster! Kakie love cake! Yummy! Tummy get a tummyache. Whoa, whoa, whoa. How is that a monster? Have some cake, Wuzzlelumplebum. Remember, kids, a real monster always shares. "Shares"? Yes! When I think monsters, I think "shares. " Now, let me tell you what a real monster is, Denisovich. Dad, please. She's practically five already. Don't force it. Slow down, Wuzzlelumplebum. ? Twinkle, twinkle, little star How I wonder? Mommy, I'm too old for lullabies. What? That's not how that one goes. This is the way most people sing it. "Most people"? What's wrong with... ? Suffer, suffer, scream in pain ? Blood is spilling from your brain? Daddy. Come on. You know how I sang it to you. ? Zombies gnaw you like a plum ? Piercing cries and you succumb ? Suffer, suffer, scream in pain ? You will never breathe again? Still works. Oh... Happy birthday, Wally, Wilson, Wesley, Waylon, Weepy and Wanye. Nessisovich! My big girl! You made it! I thought about what you said, Dad. Maybe I was being a little overprotective. Thank you, coffee cake. Nessa! I love you! Zing! Hi, Whoopy. I just love your yummy strawberry locks! Zing, zing! Whoopy. Give her her space, hon. I'm sorry, Mavis. It's okay, Aunt Wanda. They're just playing. Holy rabies! Limbo? I used to love that game! Get in there, Mavey. Really? But I'm a parent now. Show 'em how it's done. Okay. Okay, okay. No way! A pinata? Oh, Mavis, honey. That's for later. Whoo! We don't want the pups to have too much... Candy! Sugar. I'm sorry. Did I start all that? Don't worry. There's a reason they call it a litter. Whoa! Nessa! Are you okay? I got a candy. Look! Your tooth came out. Are you kidding me? She got her tooth knocked out? Oh, yes, indeed. Here comes the fang. Dad. Her baby tooth wasn't a fang. Why would this one be? She's not a monster. Ooh! The sun's gonna come out soon, and we gotta get to her classes. What's wrong with the classes we have here? Like the kids' yoga? Yoga! This is Nessisovich's home. I don't know, Dad. What don't you know? Well, we've been talking about moving. Somewhere safer for Nessarose. Maybe where Johnny grew up in California. I'm sorry, but you can't just make somebody something they're not. Come on, honey. We have to go. Zing, zing? Mavey, wait. You can't mean that. You're in on this? The leaving? Uh... It's not definite at all. It's just something she's definitely talking about, but until we do it, it's not definitized. Did he just cover me with birdseed? Yeah, he covered me. Dad, it's not a fang. Dad, I don't know if it's the right place for Nessa. Right, Johnny? Oh, hey, dudeman. It's not me. It's Mavey. Hey, dudeman. I'm afraid to say anything. Hey, dudeman. I'm a dudeman! Uh, Drac? Who you talkin' to? Do not disturb. The count's wiggin' out in here. What are you wiggin' out about, Drac? The kids. Mavey Wavey's saying she wants to leave. She wants to leave? What about Johnny? He doesn't wanna go. He's making the hotel more human-y for Nessa. You know, seeing that she isn't a monster. She is a monster! She's just a late fanger. Mmm-hmm. And I could be a hand model. Shut up! It's all that human-y stuff that's confusing poor Nessisovich. So maybe you gotta get the kid around more monster-y things. Ooh! Oh, I need a cape. I can't. She's always around, checking up on me. Man, if you could just get some alone time. Wait a minute. That's what Johnny wants, too. Alone time with Mavis. Have they even had a vacation since before they were married? They're going to now. And so are we. Frank, you're a genius. Mmm-hmm. We'll take Nessisovich to all our old haunts. Each of us will show her our skills. Teach her how to be a monster. And she'll be fanging it up in no time. Girl turns five next week. If she's not a vampire by her birthday, it ain't happenin'. Oh, it ain't ain't happening, baby. All she needs is time with her vampa. "Vampa"? Vampire grandpa. Come on, man. That's obvious. Johnny. Come outside. What? Who is it? It's your father-in-law. I need to talk to you. What's up? Oh. Let me get rid of them. Sorry. No problem-o. I was kinda diggin' the attention. Can they stay? I don't think they're ready to leave yet. Come on. Go to your mother. Look, you want to stay here, right? Of course. This is the first place where I can really be myself. I haven't felt this alive since they invented stuffed-crust pizza. Well, then, we've got some work to do. Okay, so here's the plan. Maybe it's a good idea to take her to your hometown. But remember... So, it's sliced avocado, rolled oats with apricot, the Aveeno moisturizer after every bath. And then the shea butter on her tush before her PJs and then 20 minutes with the nebulizer while I read her Learning Factory Phonics book to her. It's asking a lot, Dad. We could just take Nessa with us. What? Are you kidding me? And get her off her routine? No, no, no. You kids go to California, and see if it's the right place to raise Nessisovich. And you remember how to video chat? Yes, yes. With the phone and the buttons and the agony. Thanks for being so understanding, Dad. I know you'll keep her safe. Of course, Mavey. Stake my heart and hope to die. I'm just gonna miss her so much. I love you, Nessarose. I love you, Mommy. I'll tell her Mavey Wavey stories every night before bed. You're the best. I love you, Dad. Gonna miss all you guys. You're all my family. Love you, Drac. Yes. I love you, too. Now, remember the plan. Just keep her distracted and happy. But not too happy, capisce? Got it. Operation "Just Keep Her Distracted and Happy, "But Not Too Happy, Capisce," starts now. Cool? Smiling on the outside. Will you hug my backpack? No. Back to bed. Ah, yes, we'll get to the bed. We all love the bed. But we're just gonna do one thing first. Is it shorts weather where we're going? Jeez. I hope not. My body isn't swimsuit-ready yet. Whatever. Where's Griffin? Hey, can I have a second? I'm just saying goodbye to Emily. Oh, brother. I'm gonna miss you so much. You know, you have to be strong, honey. Because what we have is unbreakable. Babe, don't cry. Everyone's looking. Okay, I gotta call him on this. Just let him play it out, get it over with. Okay, you two lovebirds. Drink your champagne and let's get going. Oh, yeah. No, sure. Okay. Cheers, babe. Oh. You klutz. We can't say nothin' about this? No. We don't have time for zingers. How do you click in the stupid car seat? You gotta cut those nails, man. We just strap our kids down with duct tape. What's he doing here? I told him he could come. He's never been outside the hotel. Blobby, there's no room. Sorry, man. Yeah, that ain't happenin'. Fine, put him on the Rascal. Let's just get going. Oh. Where are we going, Papa Drac? Oh, Nessisovich, we're going to have an adventure. A monster-y adventure. Yay! Monsters! We're gonna eat cake. What did she say? No. No cake on this monster trip. No cake, cebause Kakie says, "Too much cake makes tummy ache. " Yay! "A monster always shares. " Wow! We may need more than a week. Hey, you know who could fix the kid in a snap? Vlad. What? We don't need to call Vlad. We got this. You see, Nessisovich, monsters are nice, just like you. But when the moon comes out, the real monster fun begins. Being scary. Right, guys? Guys? Guys! What is wrong with you? Come on. Everybody likes that song. We're not everybody. We're scary monsters. Remember? Hey, what are you putting in? It's an audio book. Bigfoot's life story. He reads it himself. Chapter One. Wow! This is gonna be so amazing. Oh, yeah. You're gonna be so happy, but not too happy. Huh? What? I wanna see everything you did growing up. As long as you're distracted, capisce? We can hit a few spots on the way to my parents. Lemme just quickly call home. Ah! Don't do that. It's only 1:00 a. m. there. Nessarose isn't even up yet. Right. I'm just not used to being away from her. Everything's gonna be cool. Your dad was so all over it. I know. He's the best. Right turn, here. Nessisovich, rise and shine. Boys, this bringing back any memories? We used to prowl around here when we were in our 100s. The Dark Forest of Slobozia. Nice how they built it up. Okay, out of the car. Nessisovich, you're going to see every monster do his specialty. First, Frank's gonna show us how he scares people. Yay! He's gonna say, "Boo. " Yeah, I don't think "boos" ever work. But that's why we're here. To learn from the master. Okay, I'll give it a shot. Yeah, guess it just depends on work. Frankenstein! Hey, how ya doin'? You're awesome! Can we take a picture? Is that okay? Sure, okay. Little selfie action. For real? Awesome! Thank you so much. Hey, have a great day. Boo! Oh. She's adorable. She's adorable. Adorable, yes. Not scary, but "boo" is a start. My birthday cake's gonna have the coolest girl on it. Let me guess. Kakie. No. She's so cool. She climbs walls and wears a cape. Oh, really. And who is this very cool girl? Batgirl! Batgirl. Great. You don't know anyone else with a cape that's cool? This is good. Stop here. Okay, Wayne. It's your turn. Go kill something. Nessisovich, watch this. What? I told you, come on. If we don't inspire Nessisovich, how's she going to find her inner monster? Who's in a monster? Nobody, just... Here, have an avocado. Yay! Your mommy says it's a good fat. Whatever the heaven that means. Listen, I'm not gonna set monsters back again just to make your grandkid like vampires. Anyway, there's nothing to kill here. It's all been... Aw... What a cutie. But kill him. Oh, great. You know I haven't done this in years. We don't need to kill anymore. We have Pop-Tarts. Nessisovich, you're going to love this. Wayne's going to eat that whole deer, and the next one's yours. Wayne, go. Oh, man. I'm too old for this. Okay, how's it go again? No, no, wait. That's for the moon. Oh, I growl. Right, here goes. Growl! Get it, boy. Get it, Uncle Wayne. Some werewolf. Did you actually say the word "growl?" You're a werewussy. I said I was rusty. Gimme me that Frisbee. No! It's my Frisbee! I fetched it! Give it to me! Give it back! Give it over here! Give me that! Give it back! He's fine. He's Blobby. This place is so amazing and scenic. What do you wanna show me first? Mmm. I don't know. It's pretty, but there's really nothing to do once it gets dark. Wait. What's that place? So, you're telling me that I can pick between all these different kinds of chips? Yes. How do people decide? Whoa! Now what's that beautiful fountain of rubies? Johnny, have you tried this Slurpee? Not that quickly, hon. It comes in 48 flavors. We have to try them all. Uh, I don't know if we have time. Why? This place is open all night. Right, sir? Yes. Johnny, look. They're making a TV show about this place and we're the stars. Hello, world. Awesome. It's totally awesome. You're so lucky, Kal. Hello, world. Okay, Murray. Your turn. Excuse us. Do you know where someone can get a bite around here? Did you seriously just ask a vampire where to get a bite? Oh, gosh. I didn't mean... We're not from around here. This is so embarrassing. Just keep going. Sorry to bother you. Love your chocolate cereal. So, what do you want me to do now? Nessisovich, you won't believe it. The mummy can crash through walls and turn into a swarm of beetles and put a curse on anyone. That sounds mean. It's fun mean. Okay. So, check it out. Murray's going to conjure up the biggest sandstorm you've ever seen. Hit it! Sandstorm? It's been awhile. Not my problem. Do it. Say your little spell. Okay. I got this. Frank, Wayne, Griffin, just try not to faint. Ow! My back. Oh. Wait. How cute! Ow! Ow! Wait. Stop at that playground. Look at these cute kids. Holy rabies! This looks like a blast. I don't know, Mavey. This can be pretty dangerous if you don't know what you're doing. Of course, I rock these bikes. May I, little dude? Check it out. Oh, yeah. This is how I rolled every summer. Whoo-hoo! Whoa, whoa! Ahhhhhhhhh! I think I scratched it. Oh... My turn. Mavey, I told you, it took me years to get this good. Well, I'll give it a try. You feel me now? That's my girlfriend, suckers. Your wife, Johnny. My wife. Even better. That was sick, lady. Where did you learn how to do that stuff? Transylvania. That's cool. I have a cousin from Pennsylvania. Oh. These little guys are so sweet. Nessa would love them. What an awesome place to raise a kid. Oh. To raise a kid? I don't know about awesome. Maybe tubular. Capisce? Anyways, we should hit my folks' place. I said we'd be there by now. Sure. Oh, hey, it's after 3:00 in Transylvania. I'm gonna check on Nessarose, okay? Chocolate cereal. Are you kidding me? It's okay, Drac. It's 'cause they love us. Yeah. Monsters are what's goin' on. Oh, yeah. You should embrace it like I did. I've got a best-selling workout video. Follow me, ladies. Right. And left. No, girls. Watch me. You're not watching. Here we go. And eight and seven and six... That's not me, guys. Come on, even Bigfoot's tearin' it up in the German soccer league. Oh, no. Oh, no, no, no. It's Mavis. You gotta answer it. You're pushin' too hard. Lighter. All right! Nessisovich, wake up. Oh, boy, she's out cold. I got this. Dad, what took so long? What? Nothing, Mavey. We're all great here at the hotel. Just doing hotel things. Sorry, can't handle your breath. I hear ya. How are you? We're having a blast. We just went biking and mini-marting. It's so fun here. Is Dennis okay? Oh. Of course. You want to see her? Yes. Yes, I do. Hi, baby. How are you? Mommy. I happy. Aw. Hey, little dudette. Why is she wearing sunglasses? Oh, we were playing. It's a superhero thing. Cebause, I'm Sunglasses Girl, to the rescue! Okay, take it down a notch. I'm flying. You sound funny. Oh, no, no, that's her Sunglasses Girl voice. Static. The signal is bad. Mavis, are you there? Yeah, I'm still... All right. I guess she's having fun. Of course she is. Wow, I nailed it with the Sunglasses Girl. Right off the top of my head. I threw in a "cebause. " Did everyone see that? She said she was having fun. Johnny's blowing it. She's biking and mini-marting. She's gonna wanna move! I gotta fix this kid now. Are we almost there or what? Okay, I may have taken a wrong turn a few miles back. Don't get mad. What? Someone turn on the navigator on this thing. Look how light I touch it. Please enter your destination. Please. I am begging you. Yeah, this is gonna be good, Nessisovich. Scary stuff, okay? It's in you. We just gotta concentrate on the scary. Papa Drac? Do you miss Grandma? Miss Grandma? Oh. Sure, I do. I miss her every day. She was my zing. Why do you ask? I don't know. Do you miss anybody? I miss Mommy and Daddy. And who else? You miss that Whoopy? The pup who tackles you and tries to lick you all the time? Yeah, but we're just friends. Oh, no, no, no. You're a Dracula. You can't just be friends with a cute, hairy number like Whoopy. Right turn, now! Here. You imbecile! Oh, right. Turn, Griffin! Yes, Papa Drac. Wait and see, fellas. This kid'll be guzzling goat blood in no time. You have arrived at your destination. Yes! Yes! Here we are. It's the vampire summer camp I went to as a kid. What's it, Camp Vamp? No. Who names their camp "Camp Vamp?" It's Camp Winnepacaca. You see, Nessisovich? This is where I learned to catch mice and shapeshift. And use my incredible powers and strength. It's pretty cool. Huh? Badminton. Yes, I don't remember this badminting. Well, well, is this a night? How ya doin', folks? I'm Dana, the director. We're sure excited to have you legends visitin' us. What can I do you for? Well, I'm very interested in sending my granddaughter, Nessisovich, here. Oh. This little redheaded, non-fangy little girl? Oh, they're in there. She's a late fanger. That's why we came here. Can you show us some of the drills, like where they catch the mice? Can do. A-course now we call it Tee-Mousing. So they don't have to catch the mice? Nope. We find this is a good way to build their confidence. Come here. It's right there! What's the matter with you? Hokey-pokey. Ah! There it is, Nessisovich. Where Papa learned to fly. Ooh! I wanna fly like Papa. Uh... Yeah. We're over here, now. Had to scale it down. Insurance. Help me. Help me. Help me. Hokey-pokey. See ya at the campfire. Well, gosh! Welcome, you two. Hey, gang. Hi, guys. This is so exciting. Ah! Look at all of this. So cool. Wow! I can't believe I'm actually here. Well, you are. Now, how does it work? Are you up all night and sleep all day? Yeah. Oh. I'll do whatever you guys want. Good. 'Cause I bought this pretty sunhat for you. Linda. But otherwise this poncho, if you wanna be safe. We can deal with it later, Linda. Okay. Oh! Come see. I've set up your bedroom. It's just like Transylvania. Oh, Transylvania. That was a fun experience. Mike was afraid he'd get disemboweled and eaten, but I told him he was just being silly. That was you, Linda. Oh. There they are. You know, we have a couple of mixed families in the neighborhood, so I thought I'd invite them over. They might be nice for you guys to talk to since you're thinkin' about moving here. Hi, Caren. Hi, Pandora. Welcome, Mavis. Hey, guys. Yeah, you're gonna dig it here. Don't even worry. People are totally cool with our lifestyle choice. I mean, the kids get picked on a little, but it toughens them up. Oh, hey, you guys. And this is Loretta. She's married to Paul, who's a werewolf. Excuse me? Yes, I was telling Mavis about the other monster-human couples in town. I am not a werewolf. Oh. I thought... Well, you're welcome to stay and have some cupcakes. ? Vampires will be friends forever ? Through the centuries together ? Even in the brightest sunny weather ? Vampires will be friends forever ? Literally ? Forever Great job, vampires. Give yourselves a hug. Mmm... We're going. What? Where? Why are we doing this? You'd rather be listening to those putrid new songs? What happened to Michael Row Your Corpse Ashore? Or Old McWerewolf Had An Axe? We shouldn't be up here, Drac. Who's ready to fly? Me! Me! Like a superhero. Better! Like a vampire! This thing is rickety. You know what? Maybe the kid isn't supposed to fly. Quiet. This is how they learn. You throw them and they figure it out. It's how I was taught. I wanna fly now! Attabat. You know Papa's right here if you need her. Uh. I can't watch this. Please don't. Here we go! Wee! She's still not flying. She will. Still not. It'll happen. This is a tall tower. That's why it's good. You should get her. She's gonna fall to her death. She's taking her time. Drac! I did that my first time. She's getting too close to the ground! You know what? She's not gonna fly. Ah. I told you. Papa's always here for you. Again! Again! Oh, dear. Oh, my devil. We're gonna have to report this. You mean to the papers? I guess it was pretty cool, but I'm not about getting press. No, sir. I mean the authorities. I can't not report child endangerment. Whoa! Listen to me. That was fun. Your singing is child endangerment. Should we go down and help him? Nope. I told him this was nuts. He's on his own. We have to call the girl's mother. No, that ain't happening. Her mother's already nutsy koo koo! I have to follow protocol. You will not follow protocol. I'm a vampire. I can't be hypnotized. Right. Now, please. Don't make me call the police. No one's calling nobody! Aah! Fire! Stop, drop and roll. Stop, drop and roll. Screaming's not helping! Yay! Are we bad guys, Papa Drac? Bad? No. You're the best kid in the world. We didn't start the fire. It was the tower. That's a very unsafe tower. You're lucky we don't call the authorities. Let's go, my hero. Cebause I'm Batman! To the Batmobile! Yes. To the... Sorry about all that stuff. I guess they thought you'd like it. Why do I feel so weird here? No, hon. They're being weird. I think they're just trying to help me. I mean, I grew up knowing nothing living inside that hotel. And you learned about everything growing up in Santa Claus. Santa Cruz. But, uh... Maybe if Nessa grows up away from Transylvania, she won't be so freaky. Like me. Are you nuts? Mavis, you're a blast. You're so full of life and curious about everything. If Nessarose grows up to be just like you, I'll be the luckiest dad in the world. I love you, Johnnystein. You know what? As long as we're all together, we'll be happy anywhere. Even at the hotel. Yes! What are you doing? Check out this video my friend sent me. This kid is an awesome daredevil. Ah. Oh, dude! Did you get it? Wait! Is that Nessa? No! Is it? No. It's just hard to see. But... Oops. Just deleted it. So, it's gone. What? It's Mavis. I'm not answering it. Come on, Drac. You have to. All right! Yes, honeybunch. Dad? Where are you? Um... We're outside the hotel having a little cookout. It's perfectly safe. What's that noise? Is that a siren? Oh, those are just some wailing banshees checking in. Quiet, you banshees. We're trying to have a perfectly safe cookout over here. Mommy! I wanna say hi! Mommy! Mommy! Papa Drac just tried to teach me how to fly. Wait a minute. Is that the mother? Oh, no. Static again. I am coming back to the hotel right now. And you better be there or I swear, Dad, you're gonna be very sorry. What's goin' on? We need to get home right away. Whoa! Okay. I'll go wake up my backpack. Guys, we gotta move. We got no car! How we gonna get out of here? Don't worry. I made a call. I'm sorry, Blobby. We really meant to call you sooner. Hit it! Transylvania. You want to go where? Transylvania. As soon as possible. We don't fly direct to Transylvania. You don't? You can go to Bucharest, but you'll have to switch planes in Chicago and then Zurich. So, when would we get there? Well, the Chicago flight's delayed due to bad weather. So, two seats in coach? No! No! Yes. You have to go now? When we finally have no traffic. You're killing me, Blobby. I still have some cloud on me. Gotta do a selfie! Johnny! Not now! Okay. Maybe later. This scooter thing's out of juice. We're never gonna make it. Frank, blow. Now! How fun is this? Why are you laughing? You like that? Watch this. Coochie-coochie-coochie-coo! Now this is flying, Nessisovich. Like a vampire. Wee! That's my girl. Look at you go. You're the coolest guy who wears a cape, Papa Drac. Ugh! So, hey, when are you going to get here already? We've been waiting... Give me my daughter. We just went out for some avocados. Mommy! I flew! I saw. ? Mother's already nutsy koo koo ? Nutsy koo koo ?.Oh, dear. Oh, dear ? Oh, my devil I have to follow protocol ? That ain't happening That ain't happening ? Mother's already ? Koo koo ? Koo koo I was worried Nessarose wasn't safe around other monsters. Now I don't even feel like she's safe around you. But I was just... What was it you said? Human, monster, unicorn. That it didn't matter? Well, I just know her life would... We'll have her birthday party here on Wednesday. Then we're moving. Please, Mavey. Don't leave. Maybe you've let humans into your hotel, Dad. But I don't think you've let them into your heart. Hmm... I can do it. I can do it. I'm a bat. I'm a bat. I'm a bat. I'm a bat. I'm a bat! Dennis? What are you doing, sweetie? Uh... Nothing. Careful. Let me help you down from there. Are you getting excited about your big party? I guess so. You know who's coming? Daddy's whole family. Grandpa Mike and Grandma Linda. All your cousins and aunts and uncles who love you so much. And then they're gonna be with us when we move to California. Mommy, are we going away cebause I'm not a monster? What? No. Dennis, of course not. It's just grown-up stuff. Okay. But what about Papa Drac? He's gonna be here all alone. Papa Drac has to stay here to run the hotel. But he'll visit us. And we'll visit him. Can we call him every night? Sure. Awesome! Hello. We're here. ? The night brings Johnny's family here ? To take away all that Drac holds dear? Welcome, welcome. ? Hide your feelings ? Keep them all inside Dudette, why do you wanna leave? This place is out of control. I don't wanna leave. All these awesome freakazoids! So, who's the coolest monster? Kakie. Kakie. Kakie. What a wussbag. Isn't it nice to have the whole family together? Mavis, do you have any cousins or thingies in your family? No. It's just been me and Dad. I never did ask how you lost your mom. Oh. She was killed by angry humans. Oh... ? Awkward But there is my Grandpa Vlad. Oh, you have a grandpa? Yeah. He'll be at the party. I invited him. You invited him? Dad, he's never seen Nessa. I wanted them to meet once before we go. Sure. Great. Peachy. Good old Vlad. Anybody have a wet wipe? Holy rabies. He finally invites me to something. He's got a grandkid? And he never told you? Easy, Bela. At least there's another vampire in the family. It's at a hotel? Fancy schmancy. Hotels are for humans! Bela, shut your blood hole. Look what you started. Don't worry, gang. I raised my son to hate and kill and steal the souls of humans like a good boy. Yes, Grandpa Vlad will be so happy when he sees the big masquerade party Johnny and I have planned. What? Play along. It's my dad. You have a dad? That's funny. Listen to me. My dad cannot know you're a human. Or any of your family. What? But, Drac, I'm proud that we're... Or he'll steal your family's souls and eat your backpack. That's right, gang. We're gonna make the birthday a monster masquerade party. Really? Oh, that's lovely. Sort of like a last hurrah before Dennis gets to be with normal people. I couldn't have said it better. What do you think, Mavis? I think I'm starting to like being creepy. You're lucky we don't call the authorities. Let's go, my hero. Cebause I'm Batgirl! Yes! To the Batmobile! Got your butt kicked by a boy, Batgirl. Yeah. Whatever. I'm not about to cry. Hotel Transylvania. I smell humans! Tear it down! Bela, we're in the outside world. You're gonna smell humans. You know what? Just wait outside for me. This is family stuff. You'll only get in the way. I just wanna meet the little fanger. He should know his great-vampa. His what? Vampire grandpa. Come on. That was obvious. Amazing party! So, what do you think? This is your vampire costume? What are you, nuts? I ordered it online. It was the only place that delivered overnight. You look like you got a baboon's butt on your head. Have you at least practiced your voice? You can't just talk like a hippie. I'm not a hippie. I'm a slacker. Talk like a vampire. My name is Count Jonafang. I am a vampire. Okay, vampires don't go around saying, "I am a vampire. " Sorry. I am Count Jonafang. Bleh, bleh-bleh. Are you kidding me? I'm sorry. I'm nervous. Yeah, listen, if you think I don't like it, you definitely don't want to say, "Bleh, bleh-bleh," in front of my father. Sir, Master Kakie has arrived. Oh, hey. Drac, this is Brandon, a. k. a. Kakie. We got him for Dennis. Hey, man. Nauseated to meet you. When does this happen? I got a book fair in half an hour. All right. Where's my vampson? Oh, please. Still has to make a dramatic entrance. Dad! Look at you! So you run a hotel now? From Prince of Darkness to King of Room Service. Yes. So good to see you. I'll be right with you. Keep Vlad away from the humans and Mavis. I'm on it. Oh, now that is a neat costume. These two smell funny. Oh, you're European. It's called deodorant. Nothing like insulting an entire continent, Linda. Hey, Count! How goes it? Frankenstein. Actually, I'm technically Frankenstein's monster. Frankenstein, he's the doctor who... Would love to hear more. Call my people. So, let me introduce you to some of your son's other buddies. This is Murray. Please don't kill me! I mean, yo, V! What's up? Talking toilet paper. Well, that's a new one. All right! Where's the kid? That's who I wanna meet. Johnny! This is Dracula's son-in-law. I am Count Jonafang. Bleh, bleh, black sheep. Have you any wool? What's that thing on your head? Looks like my grandmother's boobies. Daddy, who's the man with the funny face? Is this the kid? It sure is. Let me see those fangs. What are you doin'? Oh, I just love her so much. I want to hug her right in the fangs that she has. I repeat, lemme see those fangs. Oh, she's a late fanger, just like you. Yes. Yes. Just like me. The big shot here was a little crybaby, all right. Yes, yes, I was. Used to pee in his bed. Okay, Dad. We just need to scare the fangs out of the kid. Hare ha hangs? Yeah, it's what I did for Mr. Tough Guy here. First, you've got to possess something the late fanger finds sweet and innocent. Then you show them what's what and... Pop! Trust me. It'll scare the fangs right out. Right, Drac? Seriously, guys, if I'm late for the book fair, I'll miss the street fair. That's your guy. Possessed? But Nessa will be so upset. Don't you get it? This is our ticket. If it works for Nessisovich, boom! She's a vampire. And you all get to stay here. All right. All right. Capisce. Good call. Kids, everyone, have a seat. Nessarose has a big surprise for you. The one and only Kakie, The Cake Monster! Hey, kids! It's me, Kakie! What a wonderful Kakie day it is! Now, I have a question. Who here loves cake? Rise! Whoa, whoa... Why am I floating? Can I have the stage manager, please? This isn't working for me. Whoa... Wow! Scary, Nessisovich? You feeling anything? Any change? Is Kakie okay? I want all the cake. Sharing is for cowards. I don't remember any of this from the TV show. Um... I think I saw it on a Blu-ray disc, bonus stuff. Wait, why is Grandpa Vlad up there? I'm scared, Papa. What's happening to Kakie? You don't eat cake. Cake eat you! No! Stop it! What just happened, man? I'm outta here. None of these parents better review this on Yelp. Hey, what did you just do? A few more seconds and the kid's fangs would have popped right out. I don't care. It's not worth it. What's not worth it? It was my last attempt to make the girl a vampire, so you'd stay. By ruining her favorite thing? How could you do that? We were desperate. You were in on this? Nessarose won't be happy in my town. Nessa hasn't been there. ? Now husband and wife ? Feel the strain and the strife? Shut up! Johnny, Nessa is not a monster. She likes avocado. 'Cause you don't let her eat anything fun. I think Nessa just wants to be normal. Can we stop using the word "normal"? Where we live now, she's normal. She is who she is. And you can't change her, Dad. Nessarose, where are you going? Away. But it's not safe out here by yourself. I know a place where we can hide. Follow me. If you didn't stop me, my great-granddaughter wouldn't have to be a wimp her whole life like Schlumpy over here. A wimp? Johnny, be cool. You wanna throw down, old man? Certified yellow belt since 1997. No! What's this now? You're not a vampire? Bleh? Of course he's human. He's our son. You think we're monsters? You! You let your daughter marry a human and have a human kid? Why don't you just put a stake through my heart. We don't hate humans anymore, and they don't hate us. Humans? You're a fool. Your great-granddaughter is the sweetest, kindest, most special girl I've ever met. And if you can't give her the love she deserves because she's half-human, then you're the fool. Oh, Daddy. Hey, where is Nessa? Nessa?

Happy birthday, Nessa. I made you a treat. Dead pigeon? Enjoy it. 'Cause once I graduate business school and start running a company, you're not gonna get home-cooked meals like this anymore. I have to move away, Whoopy. To California. My mommy thinks I'm not happy here cebause I don't have hair on my face like you. I'm sorry I'm not a monster. No, you are perfect. You're the nicest boy I know. And I have 300 brothers. You're nice, too, Winnie. Well, well, well. The little human and her pet. Nessarose! Nessisovich! She's not in the room. She's not by the pool. She's not in this pot of soup. Where could she be? I don't know why I ever invited you. Nessa! Nessa! Nessisovich! Nessa! Stop squirming. Why are you doing this? Because this is wrong. Why doesn't anybody get that? Humans don't belong with monsters. You're wrong! I am not! I am holding you hostage. And me and my crew are gonna tear that human-hugging hotel to shreds. You can't. Really? Why not? Cebause... Cebause, why? Cebause it will make Papa Drac sad. Ooh... Sad. And what are you gonna do about it? I don't know. You know why you don't know? Cebause you're just a weak little girl. What was that? Nessarose, we're coming. Are you okay, Whoopy? Yes, my zing. Nessrose! There she is, right there. Nessarose! Baby! My big girl! Nessarose, we were lookin' for ya. Sweetheart. I'm so happy to see you. There's his mean friends. Oh... This'll be fun. Whoo! Huh? I didn't do that. You rock, Nessarose. He means Nessisovich. Kakie rules! Nessarose, I'm coming. Whoa... I knew all that practice would pay off. That's right, you better fly away. Papa Drac, I'm a vampire and a superhero. Am I cool now? "Now"? Nessarose, you were always cool. Human, vampire, unicorn, you're perfect no matter what. But since I'm a vampire, can we stay here? Yes. All right! Yeah! All right! But you have to know, we're going to visit you here every holiday. That's fine. That's fine. Aah! Don't ever come near me or my family again. No! Daddy, you just saved a human. All this pressure about when the girl's fangs were coming out. Who cares? Mine came out years ago! Look. Okay, Dad, put 'em back in before we all barf. Hey! Isn't it still somebody's birthday? Let me hear you sing! I didn't do that.


[Dracula and Jonathan have just burst through the door after hearing Mavis calling them.]
Mavis: Nessarose said her first word!
Dracula: She did?!
Mavis: Come on, honey. Say it again!
Nessarose: Bleh, bleh-bleh.
Drac: [frowns in annoyance] I don't say "bleh, bleh-bleh".
Mavis: We didn't say you did.
Drac: Then where did she get that?
Nessarose: Bleh, bleh-bleh.
Mavis: Well, maybe sometimes you say it.
Drac: I only say it when I say I don't say it!
Nessarose: Bleh, bleh-bleh.
Drac: Okay, kid, we get it. You can talk. [softening] Nessisovich... [checks Nessarose's mouth for fangs]
Mavis: Dad...
Drac: Just checking for cavities. [hastily leaves the room]
Mavis: [imitating her father] Bleh, bleh-bleh.
Nessarose: Bleh, bleh-bleh.
Drac: [pops back down from the ceiling] It was you!

[Mavis is singing a lullaby to help Nessarose go to sleep.]
Mavis: [to Nesarose; singing] Twinkle twinkle, little stars.
How I wonder who you are
Nessarose: Mommy, I'm too old for lullabies.
Drac: [interrupts Mavis] What? That's not how that one goes.
Mavis: This is the way most people sing it.
Drac: Most people? What's wrong with "Suffer, suffer, scream in pain. Blood is spilling from your brain"?
Mavis: Daddy...
Drac: Come on. You know how I sang it to you.
Drac and Mavis: [singing] Zombies gnaw you like a plum. Piercing cries and you succumb.
Drac: [singing softly] Suffer, suffer, scream in pain. You will never breathe again. [sees that his lullaby caused his granddaughter and daughter to fall asleep] Still works.

[Whoopy has spotted Nessarose and tackled her out of Dracula's hands.]
Whoopy: [knocks her to the ground] Nessa, I love you! Zing!
Nessarose: [gets to her feet] Hi, Whoopy.
Whoopy: [climbs onto her head] I just love your yummy strawberry locks! [glomps her] Zing zing!
Nessarose: [laughs as he licks her]

Green Gill Fish: Yoga!

[Drac is in his room picking out pajamas, upset that Mavis, Johnny, and Nessa might be leaving him.]
Drac: [mocking Mavis] "Dad, it's not a fang! Dad, I don't know if it's the right place for Nessarose! Right, Johnny?" [mocking Johnny] "Oh, hey, dude-man, it's not me, it's Mavy! Hey, dude-man, I'm afraid to say anything! Hey, dude-man, I'm a dude-man!"
Frankenstein: [at the door and peeks in] Uh, Drac, who-who are you talking to?
Shrunken Head: Do not disturb! The count's wiggin' out in here! [Dracula starts brushing his fangs.]
Frank: What are you wiggin' out about, Drac?
Drac: The kids! Mavy-wavy saying she wants to leave! [gargles with blood red mouthwash as Frank talks]
Frank: She wants to leave? What about Johnny? He doesn't want to go. He's making the hotel more humany for Nessarose. You know, seeing that she isn't a monster. [Drac is flossing and breaks his string upon hearing this statement.]
Drac: [turns to him] She is a monster! She's just a late fanger.
Shrunken Head: Mm-hmm. And I could be a hand model.
Drac: Shut up! It's all that humany stuff that's confusing poor Nessisovich! [waves and a bathroom opens up in the wall. Drac goes inside and the wall seals back up.]
Frankenstein: So, maybe you gotta get the kid around more monstery things. [leans on the wall and accidentally opens Dracula's wardrobe closet.] Ooh, oh, I need a cape.
Drac: [From inside the bathroom] I can't! She's always around checking up on me!
Frank: [goes in the closet and comes out wearing one of Dracula's outfits, which fits him very tight.] Man, if you could-if you could just get some alone time...
Drac: Wait a minute! That's what Johnny wants too! Alone time with Mavis! [Frank chuckles at how he looks in Dracula's outfit, but then all of a sudden starts suffocating from the tight clothes. He panics and pulls out a spatula to wedge some space around his neck.]
Frank: [straining] Have-have they even had a vacation since before they were married?! [tries desperately to take off the outfit before Dracula catches him wearing it. Dracula comes out of the bathroom as it seals up behind him, and at the same time, Frankenstein just barely manages to get out of the outfit and put it back in the wardrobe before he sees.]
Drac: They're going to now, and so are we! Frank, you're a genius! [notices that Frank is shirtless and looks at him with a blank look on his face. Frankenstein just stands there with an awkward smile on his face. He looks around the room, holds his hands, then clears his throat waiting for the awkward moment to pass as Dracula looks at him. Finally, Dracula speaks his idea. As he says it, he imagines himself and Nessarose in the forest. He hunts and eats a white mouse while Nessarose watches him in amazement and fangs suddenly sprout from her upper jaw.] We'll take Nessisovch to all our old haunts. Each of us will show him our skills, teach him how to be a monster, and he'll be fanging it up in no time!
Shrunken Head: Girl turns five next week! If she's not a vampire by her birthday, it ain't happening!
Drac: Oh, it ain't ain't happening, baby! All she needs is time with her vampa!
Frank: "Vampa"?
Drac: [exasperated] "Vampire grandpa". Come on, man! That's obvious!

[The monsters and Nessa are driving in the car.]
Nessarose: Where we going, Papa Drac?
Drac: Oh, Nessisovich! We're going to have an adventure. A monstery adventure!
Nessarose: Yay, monsters! We're gonna eat cake!
Wayne: [confused] What'd she say?
Drac: No, no cake on this monster trip!
Nessarose: No cake cebause Kakie says too much cake makes tummy ache. Yay! A monster always shares.
[Pause]
Griffin: Wow.
Wayne: We may need more than a week.
Frank: Hey, you know who could fix the kid in a snap? Vlad.
Drac: [annoyed] What? We don't need to call Vlad. We got this. [In a warmer tone, he turns and speaks to Nessa] Eh, you see, Nessisovich, monsters are nice just like you... but when the moon comes out, the real monster fun begins, being scary! Right, guys? [On the radio, "Worth It" by Fifth Harmony is playing and Frank, Wayne, Murray, and Griffin all dance along to it.] Guys? Guys! [shuts off the radio] What is wrong with you?
Frank: Come on. Everybody likes that song.
Drac: We're not everybody! We're scary monsters, remember? [puts a CD in the car's player.]
Griffin: Hey, what are you putting in?
Drac: Oh, it's an audiobook: Bigfoot's Life Story. He reads it himself.
Woman on CD: Chapter 1. [Bigfoot growls slowly on radio]
[They listen to the growling and it is revealed that Blobby is still happily listening to "Worth It" on his headphones in the adjoining rascal.]

[Wayne failed to kill a deer, as he was more attracted to a Frisbee, much to Drac's annoyance]
Drac: Some werewolf. Did you actually say the word, "growl"? You're a werewussy!
Wayne: [with a Frisbee in his jaws] I said I was rusty.

Drac: "Chocolate cereal". Are you kidding me?
Frank: [eating] It's okay, Drac. It's because they love us.
Murray: Yeah! Monsters a "what's goin' on?".

[Drac just saved Nessarose from falling from the condemned tower]
Dana: Oh, dear! Oh, my devil! We're gonna have to report this!
Drac: You mean to the papers? I guess it was pretty cool, but I'm not about getting press.
Dana: No, sir, I mean to the authorities. I can't not report child endangerment.
Drac: Whoa, listen to me. That was fun! Your singing is child endangerment!
Wayne: [meanwhile, on top of the tower] Should we should go down and help him?
Frank: Nope. I told him this was nuts. He's on is own! [leans on the tower, causing it to fall over]
[Back to Drac and Dana]
Dana: We have to call the girl's mother.
Drac: No, that ain't happening! Her mother's already nutsy cuckoo!
Dana: I have to follow protocol! [Dracula stares into Dana's eyes, glowing red]
Drac: [hypnotic] You will not follow protocol...
Dana: [unphased] I'm a vampire. I can't be hypnotized.
Drac: [back to normal] Uh, right...
Dana: Now, please, don't make me call the police!
Drac: No one's calling nobody! [the tower finally collapses on the campfire, lighting it and Frank]
Frank: Fire!
Murray: Stop, drop and roll! Stop, drop and roll!
Wayne: Screaming's not helping!
[The camp kids take out marshmallows on sticks, cheer and start coming to the fire to roast them; Nessa has a sad look]
Nessarose: Are we bad guys, Papa Drac?
Drac: Bad? No! You're the best kid in the world! We didn't start the fire. It was the tower. [scolding to Dana] That's a very unsafe tower! You're lucky we don't call the authorities! [to Nessarose as he puts her over his shoulders] Let's go, my hero!

Drac: [he, Frank, Wayne, Murray, Nesarose and Griffin are riding on Blobby's motor scooter] Hit it! [The motor bike moves forward one inch per minute, due to the combined weight of the riders]

[After the Drac Pack returned to the hotel, Dracula answers Mavis' video chat request]
Drac: So, hey! When are you going to get here already? We've been waiting… [looks up and sees Mavis standing a few feet away, looking angry at him, much to his shock]
Mavis: [sternly] Give me my daughter.
Drac: We just went out for some avocados!
Nessarose: Mommy, I flew!
Mavis: I saw. [angrily holds up her smartphone and plays a YouTube clip titled "Dracula remix" with over 2,000,000 hits. The clip intercuts Nessa falling from a tower with rapid edits of Dracula arguing with Dana to a rhythm track.]
Drac: [on video] Her mother's already nutsy cuckoo! Nutsy cuckoo! Ah-ooh! Eh-ah-ee-ee! Cuckoo! [As the music continues, he looks shocked, realizing he's busted. Blobby, oblivious, dances to the beat as the video continues.]
Dana: [on video] Oh dear. Oh dear. Oh-oh-oh my devil. I have to follow protocol.
Drac: [on video] That ain't happening! That ain't happening! Her mother's already ah-kee-kee-a cuckoo! Ah-kee-ooh-ah-ee-ah cuckoo! [echoing]
[The video ends and Dracula looks down in shame as Nessarose and Mavis embrace.]
Mavis: [to Dracula] I was worried Nessarose wasn't safe around other monsters. Now I don't even feel like she's safe around you.
Drac: But I was just–
Mavis: What was it you said? "Human, monster, unicorn"? That it didn't matter.
Drac: Well, I just know her life would–
Mavis: We'll have her birthday party here on Wednesday, then we're moving.
Drac: Please, Mavey, don't leave.
Mavis: [sadly] Maybe you've let humans into your hotel, Dad, but I don't think you've let them into your heart. [takes Nessa inside the hotel, still worried he would be hurt. Johnny looks down sadly and follows her, leaving Dracula.]

[Nessa, dressed as a Batgirl-y super hero, isn’t getting much attention. While the other kids play together, Nessarose is playing Batgirl alone.]
Nessarose: You’re lucky we don’t call the authorities! [imitating Dracula] "Let’s go, my hero!" [normal voice] Cebause I’m Batman! [imitating Drac] "Yes, to the Batmobile!" [Suddenly, Whoopy knocks her over and licks her as some cousins laugh, including Troy in a costume of Vrak, a freaky Power Rangers villain. Mavis looks at Dennis sympathetically.]
Troy: Got your butt kicked by a boy, Batgirl! [Whoopy growls viciously at Troy and barks angrily at him. Troy looks freaked out, but tries to remain cocky.] That's okay. I'm not about to cry. [walks off]

Murray: [Scared] Aah! Please don't kill me! [In a calmer voice] I mean, yo, V? What's up?
Vlad: Talking toilet paper. Well, that's a new one.

[After Nessarose's 5th birthday party is ruined]

Vlad: [to Dracula] What did you just do? A few more seconds and the kid's fangs gonna pop right out!
Dracula: I don't care! It's... It's not worth it!
Mavis: What's not worth it?
Dracula: It was my last attempt to make the girl a vampire so you'd stay.
Mavis: By ruining her favorite thing?! How could you do that?!
Johnny: We were desperate!
Mavis: You were in on this?!
Johnny: Nessarose won't be happy in my town.
Mavis: Nessa hasn't been there!
Erik: [plays organ while singing] The husband and wife hear the strain and the strife--
Dracula, Mavis, and Johnny: SHUT UP!
Mavis: Johnny, Nessa is not a monster!

[Vlad makes a shocked face]

Mavis: She likes avacado!
Johnny: 'Cause you don't let her eat anything fun!
Johnny's mother: I think Nessa just wants to be normal.
Mavis: Can we stop using the word "normal"?

[Nessarose walks away sadly, feeling not good enough to fit in]

Dracula: Where we live now, she's normal!
Mavis: She is who she is, and you can't change her, dad!

[Nessarose runs out of the room, Whoopy follows her; Bela watches them from the window]


[Outside the castle...]

Whoopy: Nessa, where are you going?
Nessarose: Away!

[in the forest...]

Whoopy: But it's not safe out here by ourselves. I know a place where we can hide. Follow me!

[they run to a treehouse as thier secret hiding place]


[Back at the party...]

Vlad: If you didn't being my great-granddaughter wouldn't have to be a wimp her whole life...[gestures to Johnny] ...like schlumpy over here.
Johnny: A wimp?!
Dracula: Johnny, be cool.
Johnny: [climbs on the stage, and walks to him] You wanna throw it at, old man?! [does karate move at him] Certified yellow belt since 1997! [takes off his wig, blowing his cover]
Dracula: No!
Vlad: What's this now? You're not a vampire?!
Johnny: [guilty] Uh, bleh?
Johnny's father: Of course he's human. He's our son. You think we're monsters? [he and his wife wipe off thier make-up, revealing thier true nature]
Vlad: [gasps] [to Dracula] You! You let your daughter marry a human and have a human kid! Why don't you just put a stake through my heart?!
Dracula: We don't hate humans anymore, and they don't hate us.

[the other humans reveal themselves; as well]

Bela: [outraged of this charade] Humans?! [scratches the window, and growls]
Vlad: [outraged] You're a fool!
Dracula: Your great-granddaughter is the sweetest, kindest, most special girl I've ever met! And if you can't give her the love she deserves because she's half-human, then you're the fool!
Mavis: [hugs him lovingly] Oh, daddy!

[Dracula hugs her back]

Time CardEdit

  • One Year Later