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Ghostbusters - 1984 Theatrical Teaser Poster

Outside New York Public Library
Eerie music. Pigeons fly from the steps.

New York Public Library, reading room
ALICE pushes a cart of books.

New York Public Library, basement
ALICE brings some books down to the basement of library. As she walks along, a few books float to other shelves. When she turns around to investigate, nothing happens.
She makes some notes on a pad and passes a card catalog. The drawers slide open, spilling cards all over the place. She screams and runs.
She runs through the shelves.
Comes to what must be the ghost; she screams. Her hair blows back.
Ghostbusters logo dissolves onto screen. Music: Ghostbusters.

Columbia UniversityMain title pops up. Ghostbusters theme keeps playing. We see people going in and out of the building.

Corridor outside Paranormal Studies Laboratory
We hear DR. PETER VENKMAN giving the ESP test. On door: "Dr. Egon Spengler Dr. Raymond Stantz Dr. Peter Venkman Venkman burn in hell Maid please make up this room as soon as possible"

Inside lab
PETER gives ESP test to MALE STUDENT and JENNIFER. MALE STUDENT is hooked up to electrodes. PETER
All right, I'm going to turn over the next card. I want you to concentrate. I want you to tell me what it is. card is a star

MALE STUDENT
Square?

PETER showing him card and shocking himGood guess, but wrong. holds a circle card up in front of JENNIFERClear your head. All right, tell me what you think it is.

JENNIFER Is it a star?

PETER It is a star! Very good. That's great. holds up a square card for MALE STUDENTAll right. Think hard. What is it?

MALE STUDENT Circle?

PETER showing him square and shocking himOoh, close, but definitely wrong. MALE STUDENT's gum shoots out of his mouth. He puts it back in and keeps chewing. PETER holds a plus sign card up for JENNIFER.Okay. All right. Ready? What is it? no answerCome on.

JENNIFER Figure eight.

PETER pretending to be astonishedIncredible. That's five for five. You can't see these, can you?

JENNIFER No, no.

PETER You're not cheating me, are you?

JENNIFER No, I swear, they're just coming to me.

PETER to MALE STUDENTOkay. Nervous?

MALE STUDENT Yes... I don't like this.

PETER Don't worry, you only have seventy-five more to go. holds up a card with three wavy linesOkay, what's this one?

MALE STUDENT A couple of wavy lines.

PETER who wants to zap him just for funSorry! This isn't your lucky day!

MALE STUDENT I know. I - PETER reaches for the little lever. JENNIFER seems amused, so PETER winks to her. MALE STUDENT stumbles over some words before PETER zaps him.Hey! I'm getting a little tired of this!

PETER You volunteered, didn't you? We're paying you, aren't we?

MALE STUDENT Yeah, but I didn't know you were giving me electric shocks! What are you trying to prove here anyway?

PETER I'm studying the effect of negative reinforcement on ESP ability.

MALE STUDENT The effect?! I'll tell you what the effect is! It's pissing me off!

PETER Well, then maybe my theory is correct!

MALE STUDENT ripping electrodes off handsYou can keep the five bucks, I've had it! runs out of room and slams door PETER I will mister! kindly, to JENNIFERYou may as well get used to that, that's the kind of resentment that your ability is going to provoke in some people.

JENNIFER Do you think I have it, Dr. Venkman?

PETER You're no fluke, Jennifer. DR. RAYMOND STANTZ enters the room, all in a flurry. RAY grabbing stuff off shelvesThis is it! This is definitely it! Did those UV lenses come in for the video camera? And that blank tape? I need it. The one you erased yesterday.

PETER to JENNIFERCan you excuse me for a second?

JENNIFER Sure. PETER runs to RAY, jumps up and smacks him on the head. PETER I'm right in the middle of something, Ray! Ah, I need a little more time with this subject. Could you come back in an hour, hour and a half?

RAY Peter, at 1:40 PM at the main branch of the New York Public Library on Fifth Avenue, ten people witnessed a free floating, full torso, vaporous apparition. It blew books off shelves from twenty feet away and scared the socks off some poor librarian!

PETER I'm very excited. I'm very pleased. I want you to get right down there, check it out and get back to me.

RAY No, no.

PETER Get right back to me...

RAY You're coming with us on this one! Spengler went down there and took PKE valances. Went right off the top of the scale. Buried the needle! We're close on this one. I can feel it!

PETER I can feel it. We're very, very close. to JENNIFERI have to go now, Jennifer, but I'd like to work with you some more. Perhaps you could come back this evening, say at -

JENNIFER Eight o'clock?

PETER I was just about to say eight o'clock! You are a legitimate phenomenon!

Outside New York Public LibraryPETER is yelling at RAY all the way there. PETER As a friend I have to tell you: you've finally gone round the bend on this ghost business. You guys have been running your ass off meeting and greeting every schizo in the five boroughs who says he has a paranormal experience. What have you seen?

New York Public Library, reading room RAY Of course you forget, Peter, I was present at an undersea, unexplained, mass sponge migration.

PETER Ooh, Ray, those sponges migrated about a foot and a half. DR. EGON SPENGLER is under the table, listening to it with a stethescope. PETER runs over to him and speaks in a zombie voice.Egon... EGON is puzzled. PETER raps table with knuckles, then slams it with a book. EGON is starled and jumps up. EGON Oh, you're here.

PETER Yeah, what have you got?

EGON This is big, Peter. This is very big. There is definitely something here.

PETER Egon, this reminds me of the time you tried to drill a hole through your head. You remember that?

EGON That would have worked if you hadn't stopped me. LIBRARY ADMINISTRATOR walks up to the three. LIBRARY ADMINISTRATOR I'm Roger Delicore. Are you the men from the university?

PETER introducing them allYes. I'm Dr. Venkman. Dr. Stantz, Egon.

LIBRARY ADMINISTRATOR Thank you for coming. I hope we can clear this up quickly and quietly.

PETER Let's not rush things. We don't even know what you have yet. They go to a smaller room. ALICE is lying on a table. ALICE I don't remember seeing any legs, but it definitely had arms because it reached out for me.

RAY Arms?! I can't wait to get a look at this thing!

PETER Alice, I'm going to ask you a few standard questions, okay? Have you or any of your family ever been diagnosed schizophrenic, mentally incompetent?

ALICE My uncle thought he was St. Jerome.

PETER I'd call that a big yes. Uh, are you habitually using drugs, stimulants, alcohol?

ALICE No!

PETER No, no. Just asking. Are you, Alice, menstruating right now?

LIBRARY ADMINISTRATOR What has that got to do with it?

PETER Back off, man. I'm a scientist.

EGON Ray, it's moving.

New York Public Library, basementEGON is in front, with PKE meter. RAY has a video camera. PETER is in the back, bored stiff. He starts making scary gestures at RAY. They come to a tall tower of books. RAY Look!

EGON This is hot, Ray.

RAY Symmetrical book stacking, just like the Philadelphia mass turbulence of 1947.

PETER You're right. No human being would stack books like this.

RAY Listen! eerie musicYou smell something? they go to a card catalog; it is slimedTalk about telekinetic activity! Look at this mess!

EGON Raymond, look at this.

RAY Ectoplasmic residue.

EGON Venkman, get a sample of this.

RAY It's the real thing!

PETER Somebody blows their nose and you want to keep it?

EGON I'd like to analyze it. As RAY and EGON continue talking, PETER scrapes slime into a dish. Gets it all over his hands. Groans and grunts. Flicks slime away. Wipes hands and feet on books. RAY There's more over here!

EGON I'm getting stronger readings here, this way.

RAY Come on. They turn a corner. PETER gives EGON slime. PETER Egon, your mucus. a bookshelf falls with a crashThis happen to you before? RAY shakes headOh, first time? RAY nods. They continue. EGON's PKE meter goes nuts. They see LIBRARY GHOST. EGON It's here.

RAY A full torso apparition, and it's real.

PETER So what do we do? no answerCould you come over here and talk to me for a second, please? pulls RAY by the earCould you just come over here for a second, please? Right over here. Come here, Francine! Come here. What do we do?

RAY I don't know. What do you think? EGON starts with calculator, but PETER slaps it away PETER Stop that!

RAY We've got to make contact. One of us should actually try to speak to it.

EGON Good idea. They look to PETER. He groans and goes to the ghost. RAY starts taking pictures. PETER Hello. I'm Peter. Where are you from? Originally.

LIBRARY GHOST Ssh.

PETER going backAll right. Okay, the usual stuff isn't working.

RAY Okay, I have a plan. I know exactly what to do. Now stay close, stay close. I know. Do exactly as I say. Ready, ready, get her! LIBRARY GHOST turns into a monster and scares them. They run away. Music: Cleanin' Up The Town. Outside New York Public LibraryPETER, RAY and EGON run away. LIBRARY ADMINISTRATOR Did you see it? What was it?

PETER We'll get back to you!

LIBRARY ADMINISTRATOR What?!

Columbia University groundsPETER, RAY and EGON go back to the lab. PETER is laughing at RAY. PETER Hee, hee, hee! Get her. That was your whole plan. Get her. It was scientific.

RAY I just got overexcited. But wasn't it incredible, Pete? I mean, we actually touched the etheric plane. You know what this could mean to the university?

PETER Yeah, it's gonna be bigger than the microchip. Ray, I'm very excited.

EGON working with calculatorI wouldn't say the experience was totally wasted. According to these new readings, I think we have an excellent chance of actually catching a ghost and holding it indefinitely.

RAY Well, this is great! If this ionization rate is constant for all ectoplasmic entities, we could really bust some heads! In a spiritual sense, of course.

PETER Spengs? You serious about this catching a ghost?

EGON I'm always serious.

PETER Egon, I'm gonna take back some of the things I've said about you. You... you've earned it. gives EGON a candy bar Their labMoving men cart stuff out of the room. DEAN YEAGER stands in wait. Music: I Can Wait Forever. RAY The possibilities are, are limitless! Hey, Dean Yeager!

PETER I trust you're moving us to better quarters on campus.

DEAN YEAGER No! You're being moved off campus. The board of regents has decided to terminate your grant. You are to vacate these premises immediately.

PETER This is preposterous. I demand an explanation.

DEAN YEAGER Fine. The university will no longer continue any funding of any kind for your group's activities.

PETER But the kids love us!

DEAN YEAGER Dr. Venkman, we believe that the purpose of science is to serve mankind. You, however, seem to regard science as some kind of dodge or hustle. Your theories are the worst kind of popular tripe, your methods are sloppy and your conclusions are highly questionable. You, Dr. Venkman, are a poor scientist.

PETER I see.

DEAN YEAGER And you have no place in this department or in this university.

Outside Columbia UniversityRAY is worriedly pacing. PETER is relaxing with a bottle. RAY This is a major disgrace. Forget MIT or Stanford now. They wouldn't touch us with a ten-meter cattle-prod.

PETER You're always so concerned about your reputation. Einstein did his best stuff when he was working as a patent clerk!

RAY You know how much a patent clerk earns?

PETER No!

RAY Personally, I liked the university. They gave us money and facilities. We didn't have to produce anything! You've never been out of college. You don't know what it's like out there. I've worked in the private sector. They expect results.

PETER For whatever reasons, Ray, call it fate. Call it luck. Call it karma. I believe that everything happens for a reason. I believe that we were destined to get thrown out of this dump.

RAY For what purpose?

PETER To go into business for ourselves. Offers RAY a drink. RAY drinks. RAY This ecto-containment system that Spengler and I have in mind is going to require a load of bread to capitalize. Where are we going to get the money?

PETER I don't know. drinksI don't know.


Outside Manhattan City BankThe three come out of the bank. Fanfare. PETER You're never going to regret this, Ray!

RAY My parents left me that house! I was born there!

PETER You're not going to lose the house. Everybody has three mortgages nowadays.

RAY But at nineteen percent! You didn't even bargain with the guy!

EGON flashing a calculatorRay, for your information, the interest rate alone for the first five years comes to $95,000.

PETER Will you guys relax? We are on the threshold of establishing the indispensable defense science of the next decade. Professional paranormal investigations and eliminations. The franchise rights alone will make us rich beyond our wildest dreams.

Outside Hook and Ladder No. 8The building's windows are whitewashed. We hear REAL ESTATE AGENT talking. Inside Hook and Ladder No. 8REAL ESTATE WOMAN shows PETER and EGON the fire house. REAL ESTATE WOMAN There's office space, sleeping quarters and showers on the next floor and a full kitchen on the top left.

PETER It just seems a little pricey for a unique fixer-upper opportunity, that's all. What do you think, Egon?

EGON I think this building should be condemned. There's serious metal fatigue in all the load-bearing members, the wiring is substandard, it's completely inadequate for our power needs, and the neighborhood is like a demilitarized zone.

RAY calling to them from upstairsHey! Does this pole still work? slides down the fire poleWow! This place is great! When can we move in? You've got to try this pole! I'm gonna get my stuff. runs up stairsHey, we should stay here tonight. Sleep here! You know, to try it out!

PETER I think we'll take it.

REAL ESTATE WOMAN Good.

Outside Ivo Shandor BuildingThe building is huge and grandiose. Ominous music. Show the terror dog statues on the roof. DANA BARRETT gets out of a taxi and enters the building. Inside Shandor BuildingDANA gets off the elevator. Sees a neighbor. DANA Oh, hi. LOUIS TULLY pops out of his apartment LOUIS Oh, Dana, it's you!

DANA Oh, hi, yes Louis, it's me.

LOUIS I thought it was the drugstore.

DANA Oh, are you sick?

LOUIS Oh! No, no, I'm fine, I feel great! Just ordered some more vitamins and stuff. I was just exercising. I taped a 20-minute workout and played it back at high speed on my machine so it only took ten minutes. I got a great workout.

DANA Good.

LOUIS You wanna come in for a mineral water or something?

DANA Oh, I'd really like to, Louis, but I have to go rehearsal now. Excuse me.

LOUIS No sweat, I'll take a rain check on that. I always have plenty of low sodium mineral water and other nutritious foods in the house. But you already know that.

DANA Yeah, I know that.

LOUIS Listen, that reminds me, I'm having a big party for all my clients, my fourth anniversary as an accountant, you know, and even though you do your own tax return, which you shouldn't do, I'd like you to stop by, being that you're my neighbor and all -

DANA cutting him offWell, thank you, Louis, I'll really try to stop by.

LOUIS Listen, that reminds me, you shouldn't leave your TV on so loud when you go out. The creep down the hall phoned the manager.

DANA That's strange, I didn't realize I'd left it on.

LOUIS Well, yeah, you know what I did? I climbed on the ledge and tried to disconnect the cable, but I couldn't get in, so you know what I did? I turned my TV up real loud too so everyone would think all our TVs had something wrong with them -

DANA closing her door on himBye, Louis.

LOUIS Okay, so I'll see you later, huh?! I'll give you a call! I'm going to go have a shower. tries to open his door, but he's locked himself out DANA's living roomDANA watches an ad on TV. In the ad: PETER, RAY and EGON stand outside the fire house wearing long blue coats and talk to the camera. RAY Are you troubled by strange noises in the middle of the night?

EGON Do you experience feelings of dread in your basement or attic?

PETER Have you or any of your family ever seen a spook, specter or ghost?

RAY If the answer is yes, then don't wait another minute. Pick up your phone and call the professionals.

PETER, RAY, EGON Ghostbusters!

RAY Our courteous and efficient staff is on call twenty-four hours a day to serve all your supernatural elimination needs.

PETER, RAY, EGON We're ready to believe you! Message flashes on screen: "GHOSTBUSTERS 555-2368".
DANA turns off TV.
DANA's kitchenDANA lays some groceries out on the table. She turns around. Eggs tremble, leap out of their shells and cook on counter. Growling noise from fridge. DANA opens fridge.
The spirit world appears in front of her. A terror dog, ZUUL, jumps out in front of her.
ZUUL roaringZuul! DANA closes fridge, screaming Outside Ghostbusters HQPETER watches Marty put up a sign, reading "GHOSTBUSTERS" in small type. PETER You don't think it's too subtle, Marty? You don't think people are going to drive down and not see the sign? Marty shakes head. Dark blue hearse drives up.You can't park that here!

RAY getting out of car Everybody can relax, I found the car! Needs some suspension work; and shocks, and brakes, brake pads, lining, steering box, transmission, rear end -

PETER How much?

RAY as PETER groansOnly forty-eight hundred. And maybe new rings, also mufflers, a little wiring...

Inside Ghostbusters HQThe secretary, JANINE MELNITZ, sits at her desk reading a magazine. PETER comes up. PETER Janine! Any calls?

JANINE No.

PETER Any messages?

JANINE No.

PETER Any customers?

JANINE No, Dr. Venkman.

PETER It's a good job, isn't it? Type something, will you? We're paying you for this stuff!... Don't stare at me, you got them bug eyes... Janine! Sorry about the bug eyes thing. I'll be in my office. PETER goes off. EGON pops up out from under JANINE's desk. JANINE You're very handy. I can tell. I bet you like to read a lot, too.

EGON Print is dead.

JANINE Oh, that's very fascinating to me. I read a lot myself. Some people think I'm too intellectual, but I think it's a fabulous way to spend your spare time. I also play racquetball. Do you have any hobbies?

EGON I collect spores, molds and fungus. DANA enters DANA Hello? goes to JANINEOh. Excuse me. This, this is the Ghostbusters' office?

JANINE filing nailsYes, it is. Can I help you?

DANA I don't have an appointment. I'd like to talk to someone, please.

PETER bolting out of his officeI'm Peter Venkman. May I help you?

DANA Well, I don't know. What I'm about to say may sound a little unusual.

PETER Oh, that's all we get day in, day out around this place. Come into my office, Miss -

DANA Barrett, Dana Barrett.

Lab in fire houseDANA is hooked up to a machine. As she talks, PETER, RAY and EGON watch a monitor which turns her head different colors. DANA And this voice said "Zuul". And then I slammed the refrigerator door and I left. That was two days ago, and I haven't been back to my apartment.

PETER Generally you don't see that kind of behavior in a major appliance. What do you think it was?

DANA Well, if I knew what it was I wouldn't be here.

PETER Egon, what do you think?

EGON shining a head lamp in PETER's eyesShe's telling the truth. At least, she thinks she is.

DANA Well, of course I'm telling the truth! Who would make up a story like that?

PETER Some are people who just want attention. Others, just nutballs who come in off the street.

RAY You know what it could be? Past-life experience intruding on present time.

EGON Could be erased memories stored in the collective unconscious. I wouldn't rule out clairvoyance or telepathic contact, either.

DANA I'm sorry, I don't believe in any of those things.

PETER Well, that's all right. I don't either. But there are some things we do. Standard procedures we carry out in a case like this which often bring us results.

RAY Well, I could go down to the hall of records and check out the structural details in the building. Maybe the building itself has a history of psychic turbulence.

PETER noddingRight, go do that.

EGON I could look for the name Zuul in the usual literature.

RAY Spates Catalog.

EGON Tobin's Spirit Guide.

RAY Yeah.

PETER Tell you what. I'll take Miss Barrett back to her apartment and check her out - I'll go check out Miss Barrett's apartment, okay? knows he's said the wrong thing; groans to himself DANA Okay, thank you.

DANA's living roomPETER and DANA enter. PETER Let me. If something's gonna happen here I want it to happen to me first. Opens a few closet doors. Nothing happens. DANA The closet. PETER goes to the piano. Plays the two highest notes over and over. PETER They hate this. I like to torture them. That's right, boys. It's Dr. Venkman! works a toolA lot of space. Just you?

DANA Yes.

PETER Good.

DANA What is that thing you're doing?

PETER It's technical. It's one of our little toys.

DANA I see. That's the bedroom, but nothing ever happened in there.

PETER What a crime.

DANA You know, you don't act like a scientist.

PETER They're usually pretty stiff.

DANA You're more like a game show host. The words sting PETER. PETER That's the kitchen, huh?

DANA's kitchen PETER Dana, are these the eggs?

DANA Yes, see, I was over there, and the eggs just jumped right out of their shells and started to cook right on the counter.

PETER That is weird.

DANA And that's when I to hear that awful noise from the refrigerator. PETER starts using his tool againDr. Venkman, you've come all this way. Would you like to examine the refrigerator?

PETER I'll check the fridge. Good call. Oh, my God! DANA is worriedLook at all the junk food!

DANA No, God damn it! Look, this wasn't here.

PETER You actually eat this stuff?

DANA Look! This wasn't here! There was nothing here! There was a space, and there was a building or something with flames coming out of it, and creatures riding around and they were growling and snarling! And there were flames! And I heard a voice say Zuul! It was right here!

PETER I'm sorry, I'm just not getting any reading.

DANA Well, are you sure you're using that thing correctly?

PETER Well, I think so. But I'm sure there are no animals in there.

DANA Well, that's great. Either there's a monster in my kitchen or I'm completely crazy.

PETER I don't think you're crazy.

DANA sarcasticallyGood, that makes me feel so much better.

DANA's living room PETER Let me tell you something about myself. I come home from work to my place and all I have is my work. There's nothing else in my life!

DANA Dr. Venkman -

PETER I meet you, and I say, my God, there's someone with the same problem I have!

DANA Yes. We both have the same problem. You!

PETER I'm gonna go for broke. I am madly in love with you.

DANA I don't believe this. Will you please leave?

PETER to an invisible audienceAnd then she threw me out of her life. She thought I was a creep, she thought I was a geek and she probably wasn't the first...

DANA You are so odd... No.

PETER turning aroundI've got it!

DANA No, no, no, no, no.

PETER I'll prove myself to you!

DANA guiding him outThat's not necessary.

PETER Yeah. I'll solve your little problem.

DANA Okay...

PETER And then you'll say, "Pete Venkman's a guy who can get things done!"

DANA Right.

PETER "I wonder what makes him tick!"

DANA I wonder!

PETER "I wonder if he'd be interested in knowing what makes me tick?"

DANA Right!

PETER I bet you're going to be thinking about me after I'm gone.

DANA I bet I am! Pushes him out the door. He sticks his face back in. PETER No kiss? pushes his face out door and slams it shut CorridorLOUIS comes out, then tries to go back in, but he's locked himself out. PETER leaves. Outside Ghostbusters HQNight. Inside Ghostbusters HQ; upstairsThe Ghostbusters dine on takeout Chinese. Music: In The Name Of Love. PETER To our first customer.

RAY To our first and only customer. They toast with soda cans. PETER I got to take out some petty cash. We should take her out to dinner. We don't want to lose her.

RAY Uh, this magnificent feast here represents the last of the petty cash.

PETER Slow down. Chew your food.

By JANINE's deskPhone rings. JANINE Hello, Ghostbusters. Yes, of course they're serious. - You do? You have? No kidding?... Uh-huh. Well, just give me the address. Yes, of course. Oh, they'll be totally discreet. Thank you. hangs upWe got one! slams down alarm bell Upstairs RAY It's a call! Music: Cleanin' Up The Town. They slide down the fire pole. DownstairsThey slide down the fire pole and suit up. RAY Come on!

Outside Ghostbusters HQEcto-1 drives off wildly. Outside Sedgewick HotelEcto-1 drives up. Close-up on Ghostbusters logo. Lobby of Sedgewick HotelThe Ghostbusters enter. PETER Hey, anybody seen a ghost? A pretty lady goes by. They all stare appreciatively. HOTEL MANAGER Thank you for coming so quickly! The guests are starting to ask questions and I'm running out of excuses.

RAY Has it happened before?

HOTEL MANAGER Well, most of the original staff knows about the twelfth floor; the disturbances, I mean. But it's been quiet for years! Up until two weeks ago. It was never, ever this bad, though!

EGON Did you ever report it to anyone?

HOTEL MANAGER Heavens! No!

PETER Oh, no. You kidding?

HOTEL MANAGER The owners don't even like us to talk about it. I hope we can take care of this. Quietly! Tonight!

RAY Yes sir, don't worry. We handle this kind of thing all the time! they go up to an elevator MAN AT ELEVATOR What are you supposed to be, some kind of a cosmonaut?

PETER No, we're exterminators. Someone saw a cockroach up on twelve.

MAN AT ELEVATOR That's gotta be some cockroach.

PETER Bite your head off, man. elevator arrives RAY Going up?

MAN AT ELEVATOR I'll take the next one.

Elevator RAY You know, it just occurred to me, we haven't had a completely successful test of this equipment.

EGON I blame myself.

PETER So do I.

RAY No sense worrying about it now.

PETER Why worry? Each of us is wearing an unlicensed nuclear accelerator on his back.

RAY Yep. Let's get ready. Switch me on! EGON charges RAY's proton pack, then backs away Twelth floorThe Ghostbusters exit the elevator. EGON charges his proton pack. RAY Come on. CHAMBERMAID enters. RAY and EGON shout and blast her cart with proton beams. PETER Hold it!

CHAMBERMAID What the hell are you doing?

EGON Sorry.

PETER Sorry.

RAY I'm sorry.

PETER We thought you were someone else. Successful test.

RAY I guess so. I think we'd better split up.

EGON Good idea.

PETER Yeah, we can do more damage that way. EGON goes down a hallway, with his PKE meter.
RAY walks around, smoking. Sees Slimer pigging out at a room service cart. Is shocked. Cigarette falls out of his mouth.
RAY Venkman! Venkman! Ugh... disgusting blob! I'm going to have to hold it myself... Charges pack, aims and fires. Startles Slimer. He flies through the wall. Cart smashes a table and a vase.
EGON pokes a man to see if he's a ghost.
PETER sees Slimer. Talks into walkie-talkie.
PETER Come in, Ray.

RAY unhooking walkie-talkieVenkman! I saw it! I saw it! I saw it!

PETER It's right here, Ray. It's looking at me.

RAY voice over walkie-talkieHe's an ugly little spud, isn't he?

PETER I think he can hear you, Ray.

RAY voice over walkie-talkieDon't move. It won't hurt you. Slimer flies towards PETER. PETER screams and covers face. RAY runs to help.Venkman! Venkman! Pete! RAY arrives. Slimer is gone. PETER is dripping in slime.Venkman! What happened? Are you okay?

PETER spitting out slimeHe slimed me.

RAY That's great! Actual physical contact! Can you move?

EGON voice over walkie-talkieRay? Ray! Come in please!

PETER I feel so funky.

RAY Spengler! I'm with Venkman! He got slimed!

EGON That's great, Ray! Save some for me! Get down here right away. It just went into a ballroom!

LobbyRAY talks to HOTEL MANAGER regarding the bust. RAY Okay, sir. If you and your staff will just wait out here, we'll take care of it.

BallroomThe Ghostbusters hide under a table. RAY scans with his ecto-goggles and sees Slimer near a chandilier. RAY There it is, on the ceiling.

PETER That's the one that got me. they come out from under table RAY All right, boys. Ready? Throw it! They fire. Slimer flies away. The chandilier falls on a table and smashes. LobbyHOTEL MANAGER is worried. He tries to open door. Finds it locked. Ballroom RAY I did that! I did that! That's my fault!

PETER That's okay. The table broke the fall.

EGON There's something very important I forgot to tell you.

PETER What?

EGON Don't cross the streams.

PETER Why?

EGON It would be bad.

PETER I'm fuzzy on the whole good-bad thing. What do you mean, bad?

EGON Try to imagine all life as you know it stopping instantaneously and every molecule in your body exploding at the speed of light.

RAY Total protonic reversal.

PETER All right, that's bad, okay. Important safety tip, don't cross the streams. Thanks, Egon. All right. Ray, take the left. Egon, take the right. Okay, Ray. Give me one eye on the outside... Ray! RAY fires. Slimer screams and flies away. Egon! EGON fires. Destroys crystal glasses, a layer cake, etc. Slimer flies behind a bar. EGON fires. Keeps firing even after Slimer flies away.Okay, all right, hold it! Hold it! Hold it! Whoa! Nice shooting, Tex! Slimer hides at the ceiling

Lobby

HOTEL MANAGER I assure you, Mrs. Van Hoffman, there is nothing wrong with the room. It will be ready promptly, in time, as soon as your guests are with us.

Ballroom

RAY The last throw took something out of him, but he's gonna move! I need some; I need some room to put the trap down. Give me some room. EGON chucks a table

Lobby

HOTEL MANAGER to MRS. VAN HOFFMAN If you'll excuse me, please. sends a bellhop to get security Ballroom

RAY We gotta get this in the clear!

PETER Wait, wait! I always wanted to do this. pulls tablecloth out from under table, knocking everything but flowers overAnd the flowers are still standing! RAY sends out the trap RAY Okay, on my go signal. Spengler, I want a confinement stream from you. Okay? Go! EGON fires and hits SlimerOkay, hold him up there. He's gonna move. Hold him up. Go! PETER fires and hits EGON It's working, Ray!

RAY Start bringing him down. Start bringing him down. You got him. Don't cross the streams.

PETER Maybe now you'll never slime a guy with a positron collider, huh?

EGON Venkman, shorten your stream! I don't want my face burned off!

RAY All right. I'm opening the trap now; don't look directly into the trap! opens trap EGON his eyes wideningI looked at the trap, Ray.

RAY Bring your streams off as soon as I close the trap. Get ready. I'm closing it, now! Closes trap. PETER and EGON stop firing and look away. Slimer is sucked into trap. The Ghostbusters look at it, keeping their guns pointed at it.

EGON shoving trap with foot; makes blue lightning It's in there.

PETER to Slimer Hey!

RAY Well, that wasn't such a chore, now, was it?

Lobby A crowd has gathered.

HOTEL MANAGER Mr. Smith, quickly. I want that door open now! Stand over there!

PETER We came, we saw, we kicked its ass!

HOTEL MANAGER Did you see it? What is it?

RAY We got it!

HOTEL MANAGER What is it? Will there be any more of them?

RAY Sir, what you have there is what we refer to as a focused, non-terminal repeating phantasm, or a Class Five full roaming vapor. Real nasty one, too!

PETER Now, Let's talk seriously, now. For the entrapment, we're gonna have to ask you for four big ones. Four thousand dollars for that. But we are having a special this week on proton charging and storage of the beast, and that's only going to come to one thousand dollars, fortunately.

HOTEL MANAGER Five thousand dollars? I had no idea it would be so much. I won't pay it.

PETER Well, that's all right! We can just put it right back in there.

RAY We certainly can, Dr. Venkman.

HOTEL MANAGER No, no, no, no! All right! I'll pay anything!

PETER Thanks so much.

RAY Thank you! Hope we can help you again! All right, coming through! Watch out! Class Five full roaming vapor! Watch out! Begin musical montage. Music: Ghostbusters.

An apartment A woman does crunches while ROGER GRIMSBY gives the news.

ROGER GRIMSBY Good evening, I'm Roger Grimsby. Today the entire eastern seaboard is alive with talk of incidents of paranormal activity. Alleged ghost sightings and related supernatural occurrences have been reported across the entire tri-state area.

New York City street

JOE FRANKLIN Well, everybody's heard ghost stories around the campfire. Heck, my grandma used to spin yarns about a spectral locomotive that would rocket past the farm where she grew up! But now, as if some unperceived authority...

Ghostbusters HQ; bedroom Alarm bell rings. PETER, RAY and EGON run out, still in their sleeping clothes. USA Today wipes to:

Street Ecto-1 rushes past. New York Post wipes to:

Outside Chinese restaurant A Chinese man gives PETER and RAY some free Peking duck. They bow in thanks.

Outside a building RAY wields a trap.

RAY Stand aside please!

A street Ecto-1 drives up. We hear LARRY KING talking. Time wipes to:

LARRY KING's studio

LARRY KING Hi, this is Larry King. The phone-in topic today: ghosts and ghostbusting. The controversy builds, more sightings are reported. Some maintain these professional paranormal eliminators in New York are the cause of it all.

Rockefeller Center PETER, RAY and EGON run along. Omni wipes to:

Outside a building EGON comes out, with a trap.

EGON I got it! Pete? Ray!

Outside yet another building PETER, RAY and EGON triumphantly exit to a cheering crowd. RAY waves trap. Atlantic Monthly wipes to:

A street The Ghostbusters run down, brandishing proton guns. CASEY KASEM talks. His broadcast runs into the next scene.

CASEY KASEM Still making headlines all across the country, the Ghostbusters are at it again, this time at the fashionable dance club, The Rose. The boys in gray slugged it out with a pretty pesky poltergeist, then stayed on to dance the night away with some of the lovely ladies who witnessed the disturbance. This is Casey Kasem! Now on with the countdown.

DANA's kitchen DANA listens to CASEY KASEM. Laughs and sips champagne.

A building

PETER Twenty-four hours a day, seven days a week! No job is too big! No fee is too big!

Ghostbusters HQ; JANINE's desk

JANINE on phone Is it just a mist, or does it have arms and legs?

An apartment A woman watches the news as she strings her cello.

TV REPORTER to RAY As they say in TV, I'm sure there's one big question on everybody's mind and I imagine you are the man to answer it. How is Elvis? And have you seen him lately? Globe wipes to:

Outside Ghostbusters HQ Ecto-1 drives up. Two people ask the tired PETER for autographs.

Ghostbusters HQ; bedroom The Ghostbusters sleep. Swirl to dream sequence with dream music.

RAY's dream RAY lies in bed. DREAM GHOST hovers above him and vanishes. Then she disappears. An unseen force unbuckles his belt and unzips his pants. His eyes cross and his head knocks back in pleasure overload. Ghostbusters HQ; bedroom RAY falls out of bed.

Outside Ghostbusters HQ WINSTON ZEDDEMORE, bearing a newspaper ad, looks up at the Ghostbusters logo sign. Wind down Ghostbusters theme.

JANINE's desk JANINE interviews WINSTON over the job.

JANINE Do you believe in UFOs, astral projection, mental telepathy, ESP, clairvoyance, spirit photography, telekinetic movement, full trans-mediums, the Loch Ness monster and the theory of Atlantis?

WINSTON If there's a steady paycheck in it, I'll believe anything you say. A tired PETER and RAY enter.

RAY Boy, I've gotta get some sleep. I'm dying.

PETER You don't look good.

RAY I don't?

PETER You've looked better. You didn't used to look like this. to JANINE Here's the paper for the woman out in Brooklyn. She paid with Visa.

JANINE Here's tonight's worksheet.

RAY Oh, great! Two more free repeaters.

JANINE This is Winston Zeddemore. He's here about the job.

RAY Beautiful. You're hired. Ray Stantz, Pete Venkman. Congratulations. Can you help me, please? gives WINSTON some traps Welcome aboard!

Outside Carnegie Hall DANA and VIOLINIST exit the building.

DANA I don't know where they get these guest conductors. Someone should tell him that it's not going to do much good to scream at us in German.

VIOLINIST Well, I don't think the man is competent to conduct a major symphony orchestra. DANA sees PETER

DANA Um, could you wait here a minute?

VIOLINIST Uh, sure.

DANA going to PETER Dr. Venkman, this is a surprise.

PETER That was a wonderful rehearsal.

DANA You heard that?

PETER Yes. You're the best one in your row.

DANA Oh, thank you. You're good. Most people can't hear me with the whole orchestra playing.

PETER Hey, I don't have to take this abuse from you. I've got hundreds of people dying to abuse me.

DANA I know. You're a big celebrity now. Do you have some information on my case?

PETER indicating VIOLINIST Who's the stiff?

DANA The stiff happens to be one of the finest musicians in the world! Now do you have some information for me, please?

PETER Sure, but I'd prefer to give it to you in private.

DANA Why don't you tell me now?

PETER Well, okay. I found the name Zuul for you. The name Zuul refers to a demi-god worshipped around 6000 BC by the - what's that word?

DANA Hittites.

PETER Hittites, the Mesopotamians and the Sumerians.

DANA reading PETER's notes Zuul was the minion of Gozer. What's Gozer?

PETER Gozer was very big in Sumeria. Big guy.

DANA Well, what's he doing in my icebox?

PETER I'm working on that. If we could get together Thursday night, I'm thinking nine-ish, you know, we could exchange information.

DANA I can't see you Thursday, I'm busy!

PETER Miss Barrett, you seem to think there is something wrong up here in your mind that says: he enjoys taking his evenings off and spending them with his clients. No. I'm making a special exception in your case. Because... I respect you. It's corny but I respect you as artist. And as a dresser, too! This is a magnificent coordination you have going here today.

DANA All right. I'll see you Thursday.

PETER I'll bring The Roylance Guide and we'll eat and read! DANA and VIOLINIST walk off

VIOLINIST So! Who the hell was that?

DANA Just a friend.

VIOLINIST A friend?

DANA An old friend.

PETER Right, I'll see you Thursday! I'm sorry I didn't get to meet you, sir! And I'm glad you're feeling much better. You're still very pale, though! A little sun...

VIOLINIST What's he do?

DANA Oh, he's a scientist. PETER spins around as upbeat music plays

Outside Ghostbusters HQ We see the building as the music winds down.

Ghostbusters HQ; basement RAY shows WINSTON ecto-containment unit.

RAY This is where we put all the vapors and entities and slimers that we trap. Quite simple, really. Load a trap here, open, unlock the system. Insert the trap, release, close, lock the system. Set your entry grid, neutralize your field andÉ the light is green, the trap is clean. The ghost is incarcerated here in a custom-made storage facility.

JANINE's desk

JANINE There's a man from the EPA here to see you. He's waiting in your office.

PETER EPA? What's he want?

JANINE I don't know. All I do know is that I've been working two weeks without a break and you promised me you'd hire more help.

PETER Janine, someone with your qualifications would have no trouble finding a top-flight job in either the food service or housekeeping industries. You gonna answer that?

JANINE I've quit better jobs than this. picks up phone Ghostbusters! What do you want?!

PETER's office WALTER PECK stands in wait.

PETER Can I help you?

PECK I'm Walter Peck. I represent the Environmental Protection Agency, the third district.

PETER Great! How's it going down there? slaps PECK on back

PECK Are you Peter Venkman?

PETER Yes, I'm Dr. Venkman.

PECK Exactly what are you a doctor of, Mr. Venkman?

PETER Well, I have PhD's in parapsychology and psychology.

PECK I see. And now you catch ghosts?

PETER Yeah, you could say that.

PECK And how many ghosts have you caught, Mr. Venkman?

PETER I'm not at liberty to say.

PECK And where do you put these ghosts, once you catch them?

PETER In a storage facility.

PECK And would this storage facility be located on these premises?

PETER Yes.

PECK And may I see this storage facility?

PETER No.

PECK And why not, Mr. Venkman?

PETER Because you did not use the magic word.

PECK What is the magic word, Mr. Venkman?

PETER Please!

PECK May I please see the storage facility?

PETER Why do you want to see the storage facility?

PECK Well, because I'm curious. I want to know more about what you do here! Frankly, there have been a lot of wild stories in the media and we want to assess for any possible environmental impact from your operation! For instance, the presence of noxious, possibly hazardous waste chemicals in your basement! Now you either show me what is down there or I come back with a court order.

PETER You go get a court order! And I'll sue your ass for wrongful prosecution.

PECK You can have it your way, Mr. Venkman.

Basement

EGON I'm worried, Ray. It's getting crowded in there. And all my recent data points to something big on the horizon.

WINSTON What do you mean, big?

EGON Well. Let's say this Twinkie represents the normal amount of psychokinetic energy in the New York area. According this morning's sample, it would be a Twinkie thirty-five feet long weighing approximately six hundred pounds. RAY coughs violently

WINSTON That's a big Twinkie. EGON nods and eats his Twinkie.

RAY We could be on the verge of a fourfold crossrip! A PKE surge of incredible, even dangerous proportions!

PETER coming down stairs We just had a visit from the Environmental Protection Agency. How's the grid holding up?

RAY Not good.

WINSTON Tell him about the Twinkie.

PETER What about the Twinkie?

Ivo Shandor Building Lightning strikes the huge building. The terror dog statues on the roof begin to crumble, revealing the real terror dogs inside.

On floor 22 DANA gets off the elevator. She passes LOUIS's apartment. Tries to sneak by quietly, but LOUIS runs out to greet her. Music: Hot Night.

LOUIS Oh, Dana, it's you!

DANA Hello, Louis.

LOUIS You gotta come in here! You're missing a classic party!

DANA Yes, well, I would, Louis. But I have a date.

LOUIS disappointed You made a date tonight?

DANA Well, I'm sorry, Louis. I forgot.

LOUIS Well, that's okay. You can bring him along!

DANA All right, maybe we'll stop by. Okay? goes into apartment

LOUIS That's great, I'll tell everybody you're coming. We're gonna play Twister and we're gonna do some break dancing. Hey, everybody - can't open door; has locked himself out... again Hey, let me in! It's Louis, somebody let me in!

DANA's living room DANA starts to change. Phone rings.

DANA Hello? Oh, hi Mom. - I've been busy. - No, everything is fine. Just that one time. - I will. - I won't. - Mom, I have to go. I have a date. - Yes. - No, no one you know. It's, um- Well, he's a Ghostbuster. Those guys on TV. - Yes, well, I'll have to let you know. Love to Dad. Right. Bye. - Bye! Hangs up. Growling noise. Oh shit. Claw from her chair grabs her. Another shuts her mouth. She screams and screams. Chair swivels around. Door opens. A terror dog growls at her. Chair rushes out the door. Ivo Shandor Building; roof Terror dog statues are crumbled.

LOUIS's apartment Music: Disco Inferno.

WOMAN AT PARTY Do you have any Excedrin or Extra Strength Tylenol?

LOUIS Gee, I think all I got is this cedacelacytic acid. Generic. See, I can get six hundred tablets of that for the same price as three hundred of the name brand. Makes good financial sense. Good advice. Hey, this is real smoked salmon from Nova Scotia, Canada, $24.95 a pound. It only cost me $14.12 after tax, though. I'm giving this whole thing as a promotional expense. That's why I invited clients instead of friends. You having a good time, Marv? How ya doing? Why don't you have some of the Brie? It's at room temperature! You think it's too warm in here for the Brie?

TALL WOMAN AT PARTY Louis, I'm going home.

LOUIS Oh, don't leave yet. Listen, maybe if we start dancing, other people will join in.

TALL WOMAN AT PARTY Okay! They dance. Doorbell rings.

LOUIS Oh, don't move. I just gotta get the door. opens door to reveal TED FLEMING and ANNETTE FLEMING Ted! Annette! Hi! How you doing? Give me your coats. Everybody, this is Ted and Annette Fleming. Ted has a small carpet-cleaning business in receivership, and that's drawing a salary from a deferred bonus from two years ago. They've got fifteen thousand left on the house at 8%; so they're okay! throws coats into closet on top of a terror dog So, does anybody want to play Parcheesi? growling Okay! Who brought the dog? Terror dog jumps out. Party guests scream. TALL WOMAN AT PARTY jumps out window. LOUIS runs away.

Corridor Terror dog smashes through door. LOUIS runs into elevator. LOUIS'S NEIGHBOR leaves her apartment. Sees terror dog, yells and runs back in.

Outside Ivo Shandor Building

LOUIS running Help! There's a bear loose in my apartment! Help, help! Help! jumps over a wall

DOORMAN A bear in his apartment? terror dog runs out, knocks DOORMAN over and jumps over wall

Tavern-on-the-Green LOUIS runs.

LOUIS I'm going to bring this up at the next tenant's meeting. There's not supposed to be any pets in the building. bangs on windows There's gotta be in a way in. Somebody let me in! keeps screaming, then turns to face terror dog Nice doggie. Cute little pooch. Maybe I got a Milk-Bone... Terror dog growls. LOUIS screams. Restaurant guests are quiet for a couple of seconds, then resume normal conversation.

Outside Ivo Shandor Building

PETER What happened?

POLICE CAPTAIN Some moron brought a cougar to a party and it went berserk.

PETER to DOORMAN Hi, I'm going up to Dana Barrett's. DOORMAN shows him in

Floor 22 Police question partygoers about LOUIS.

PARTY GUESTS T, u, l, l, y. No! He ran out! PETER knocks on DANA's door.

PETER Hello? DANA has become ZUUL. Eerie music plays. She has wild hair and a bright orange dress. That's a different look for you, isn't it?

DANA Are you the Keymaster?

PETER Not that I know of. She slams door in his face. He knocks again.

DANA Are you the Keymaster?

PETER Yes.

Inside DANA's apartment

PETER I'm a friend of his. He told me to meet him here. I didn't get your name.

DANA I am Zuul. I am the Gatekeeper.

PETER What are we doing today, Zuul?

DANA We must prepare for the coming of Gozer.

PETER Gozer, huh?

DANA The Destructor.

PETER Are we still going out? You know, you could pick up the place if you're expecting someone.

DANA flops on bed, writhing up and down Do you want this body?

PETER Is this a trick question? I guess the roses worked, huh.

DANA Take me now, subcreature.

PETER We never talk any more. DANA grabs him and pulls him down I make it a rule never to get involved with possessed people. Actually, it's more of a guideline than a rule. she rolls them over

DANA I want you inside me.

PETER Go ahead! No, I can't, sounds like you've already got at least two people in there already. breaks free Might a little crowded. Now, why don't you quit trying to upset and disturb Dr. Venkman and just relax. Lie down there, relax. Put your hands on your chest. Yes. What I'd like to do is talk to Dana. I wanna talk to Dana. Dana? It's Peter.

DANA There is no Dana. There is only Zuul.

PETER Whoa, Zuulie you nut. Now come on. Come on. I want to talk to Dana. Dana, Dana. Relax, come on. Dana, Dana. Can I talk to Dana? DANA smiles a vicious smile. The voice of ZUUL eminates from her.

ZUUL There is no Dana, only Zuul!

PETER What a lovely singing voice you must have. Now I'm going to count to three, Zuulie, and if I don't get to hear Dana, there's going to be some real trouble in this apartment, I think. One! Two! DANA's eyes flutter and turn white Two and a half! The voice of ZUUL screams. DANA rises above the bed. Please come down. ZUUL roars

Central Park LOUIS has become Vinz Clortho. He runs around talking to himself.

LOUIS I am the Keymaster! The Destructor will come, the Traveler! The Destroyer! Gatekeeper! approaches a horse on a wagon I am Vinz. Vinz Clortho, Keymaster of Gozer, Volguus Zildrohar, Lord of the Sebouillia. Are you the Gatekeeper?

COACHMAN Hey, he pulls the wagon, I make the deals. You wanna ride? LOUIS's eyes flare red. He talks to the horse again.

LOUIS Wait for the sign, and our prisoners will be released. running away You will perish in flame! Soon as I find the Gatekeeper!

COACHMAN What an asshole.

Outside Ghostbusters HQ POLICE CAPTAIN knocks on door. JANINE answers.

JANINE Dropping off or picking up?

POLICE CAPTAIN Dropping off.

JANINE Just a moment. EGON comes out with JANINE

POLICE CAPTAIN You a Ghostbuster?

EGON Yes.

POLICE CAPTAIN We picked up this guy, now we don't know what to do with him. Bellevue doesn't want him and I'm afraid to put him in the lock-up. And I know you guys are into this stuff, so I figured we'd check with you.

EGON All right. LOUIS is in the van in a straight jacket.

LOUIS Are you the Gatekeeper? EGON runs a PKE meter over LOUIS and watches the readings climb

EGON You'd better bring him inside.

JANINE You are so kind to take care of that poor man. You know, you're a real humanitarian.

EGON I don't think he's human.

Ghostbusters HQ lab

EGON What'd you say your name was?

LOUIS Vinz Clortho, Keymaster of Gozer.

JANINE looking at LOUIS's wallet Well, according to this, his name's Louis Tully. Lives on Central Park West. Do you want some coffee, Mr. Tully?

LOUIS Do I?

EGON Yes, have some.

LOUIS Yes, have some.

EGON Vinz, you said before you were waiting for a sign. What sign are you waiting for?

LOUIS Gozer the Traveler! He will come in one of the pre-chosen forms. During the Rectification of the Vuldronaii, the Traveler came as a large and moving Torb! Then, during the Third Reconciliation of the Last of the Meketrex Supplicants, they chose a new form for him, that of a giant Sloar! Many Shubs and Zuuls knew what it was to be roasted in the depths of a Sloar that day, I can tell you!

JANINE Egon?

EGON going to JANINE, talking to LOUIS Excuse me.

JANINE There's something very strange about that man... LOUIS is sniffing a jar of popcorn Listen, I'm usually very psychic, and I'm have a terrible feeling that something awful is going to happen to you. I'm afraid you're going to die. EGON holds JANINE in his arms. Phone rings. LOUIS jumps.

EGON I'll get it! Picks up. LOUIS drags the rest of the phone over to him. Hello? Thanks, I've got it.

DANA's apartment

PETER Egon, it's Peter. I have some news from the world of Gozer.

EGON over phone What is it, Peter?

PETER I'm here with Dana Barrett. It seems that the Goz' has been putting some moves on my would-be girlfriend!

EGON How is she?

PETER I think we can get her a guest shot on Wild Kingdom. I just whacked her up with about 300 cc's of thorozine. She's going to take a little nap now. She says she's the Gatekeeper, does that make any sense to you?

Ghostbusters HQ

EGON Some. I've just met the Keymaster. He's here with me now.

PETER over phone Oh, wonderful, we have to get these two together. LOUIS takes a slice of pizza, sniffs it and sticks it on his cheek

EGON I think that would be extraordinarily dangerous.

PETER Okay, well, hold on to him. I'll be over there in a little while.

EGON Good. LOUIS takes phone from EGON. Thank you, Vinz. to JANINE We have to find Ray. I need him here immediately.

DANA's apartment DANA lies on her bed, asleep.

PETER Bad news, honey. I gotta go to work. Hey, will you stay here in bed until I get back? kisses her

Brooklyn Bridge Ecto-1 drives across the bridge. WINSTON drives. RAY is studying blueprints.

WINSTON Hey, Ray, do you believe in God?

RAY Never met him.

WINSTON Yeah, well I do. And I love Jesus's style, you know.

RAY ... this roof cap is made of a magnesium-tungsten alloy...

WINSTON What are you so involved in there?

RAY These are the blueprints for the structural ironwork for Dana's apartment building, and they're very, very strange.

WINSTON Hey, Ray. Do you remember something in the Bible about the last days, when the dead would rise from the grave?

RAY I remember Revelation 7:12. And I looked, as he opened the sixth seal, and behold, there was a great earthquake, and the sun became as black as sackcloth. And the moon became as blood.

WINSTON And the seas boiled and the skies fell.

RAY Judgment Day.

WINSTON Judgment Day.

RAY Every ancient religion has its own myth about the end of the world.

WINSTON Myth? Ray, has it ever occurred to you that maybe the reason we've been so busy lately is because the dead have been rising from the grave? long pause

RAY shivering How about a little music?

WINSTON Yeah. Ecto-1 drives onward.

Outside Ghostbusters HQ Police cars drive up. A man gives PECK a manila folder.

Inside Ghostbusters HQ PECK enters, with POLICE CAPTAIN and CON EDISON MAN.

PECK This way.

JANINE Excuse me. Excuse me! Just where do you think you're going?

PECK Stand aside, miss, or I'll have you arrested for interfering with a police -

JANINE Oh no, hold on! I've seen TV, I know you can't come in here without a writ or warrant or something!

PECK brandishing manila folder Cease and desist all commerce order, seizure of premises and chattels, ban on use of public utilities for unauthorized waste handlers, and a federal entry and inspection order. he continues on

Basement

EGON Vinz, there's one more test I'd like to perform - JANINE runs down. PECK, POLICE CAPTAIN and CON EDISON MAN follow.

JANINE Egon, I tried to stop them! He says they have a warrant.

EGON Excuse me, this is private property!

PECK pointing out ecto-containment unit Shut this off. Shut these all off.

EGON I'm warning you, turning off these machines would be extremely hazardous.

PECK I'll tell you what's hazardous. You're facing federal prosecution for at least half a dozen environmental violations. Now either you shut these beams off or we shut them off for you.

Outside Ghostbusters HQ A taxi drops PETER off.

Ghostbusters HQ; basement

EGON Try to understand. This is a high voltage laser containment system. Simply turning it off would be like dropping a bomb on the city.

PECK Don't patronize me! I'm not grotesquely stupid like the people you bilk!

PETER coming down stairs At ease, officer. I'm Peter Venkman. I think there's just been a slight misunderstanding and I wanna to cooperate in any way that I can.

PECK Forget it, Venkman! You had your chance to cooperate, but you thought it'd be more fun to insult me. Well, now it is my turn, wise ass.

EGON He wants to shut down the protection grid, Peter.

PETER You shut that thing down and we are not going to be held responsible for whatever happens.

PECK On the contrary! You're going to be held responsible.

PETER No! We won't be held responsible!

PECK Shut it off!

PETER Don't shut it off. I'm warning you.

CON EDISON MAN I - I've never seen anything like this before.

PECK I'm not interested in your opinion, just shut it off.

PETER stopping CON EDISON MAN My friend, don't be a jerk.

POLICE CAPTAIN Step aside!

PECK If he does that again, you can shoot him.

POLICE CAPTAIN You do your job, pencil neck! Don't tell me how to do mine!

PETER Thank you, officer.

PECK Shut it off! PETER starts up stairs. EGON makes an explosion with his fingers in POLICE CAPTAIN's face, mouthing "Boom".
CON ED MAN pulls red lever. Alarms goes off. Lights flash.
DANA's apartment DANA trembles.

Ghostbusters HQ; basement Walls tremble. Bricks pop out. Everyone starts running.

CON EDISON MAN Oh shit.

Ghostbusters HQ; entrance Everyone runs like hell.

EGON Clear the building!

Outside Ghostbusters HQ LOUIS runs out. The door of the fire house is smoking. The roof explodes.

DANA's apartment DANA is jolted awake.

Outside Ghostbusters HQ Explosion. Pink strams of psychokinetic energy zap out. Crowd gathers.

LOUIS This is it! This is the sign! walks away

JANINE Yeah, it's a sign all right; we're going out of business. Ecto-1 drives up. Police start to arrive.

RAY What happened?

EGON The storage facilities blew. He shut off the protection grid.

RAY Oh, great.

WINSTON That's bad, isn't it?

RAY Yeah.

PETER Where's the Keymaster?

EGON Shit!

RAY Who's the Keymaster?

EGON Come on! The Ghoustbusters run. PECK and some police stop them.

PECK Hold it! I want this man arrested. Captain, these men are in criminal violation of the Environmental Protection Act, and this explosion is a direct result of it!

EGON Your mother - They fight. Police try to keep order.
The ghosts keep pouring out of the fire house roof.
Music: Magic.

New York City The pink streams fly over the city.

DANA's apartment DANA goes to her window, grinning.

Outside subway tunnel LOUIS passes. Papers fly around. A blue creature rises up out of tunnel.

By taxi Pink smoke enters a taxi's exhaust. BUSINESSMAN IN CAB enters.

BUSINESSMAN IN CAB Columbia Building, 53rd street, and I'm in a hurry, so let's not dawdle. Driver is a zombie. Drives at breakneck speed, making a U-turn. Other cars swerve.

Street LOUIS walks down street, gazing upwards.

Hot dog cart Slimer is inside, pigging out.

DANA's apartment Bolts of pink light fly up, past her window.

Another street LOUIS walks down, gazing upwards.

DANA's apartment Her wall explodes.

Street Pigeons fly from LOUIS.

Remnants of DANA's apartment She stares out, her hair blowing in the wind.

Jail

WINSTON Hey, guard! I want to make a phone call! I just work with these guys! I wasn't even there! RAY and EGON look over blueprints

EGON The structure of this roof cap is exactly like the kind of telemetry tracker that NASA uses to identify dead pulsars in deep space.

RAY Cold riveted girders with cores of pure selenium.

PETER to other jailbirds Everyone getting this so far? So what? I guess they just don't make them like they used to.

RAY No! Nobody ever made them like this! The architect was either a certified genius or an aesthetic wacko!

PETER Ray, for a moment, pretend that I don't know anything about metallurgy, engineering or physics and just tell me what the hell is going on.

RAY You never studied. The whole building is a huge super-conductive antenna that was designed and built expressly for the purpose of pulling in and concentrating spiritual turbulence. Your girlfriend, Pete, lives in the corner penthouse of Spook Central.

PETER She's not my girlfriend. I find her interesting because she's a client and because she sleeps above her covers. Four feet above her covers! She barks, she drools, she claws...

EGON It's not the girl, Peter, it's the building! Something terrible is about the enter our world and this building is obviously the door. The architect's name was Ivo Shandor. I found it in Tobin's Spirit Guide. He was also a doctor. Performed a lot of unnecessary surgery. And then in 1920 he founded a secret society.

PETER Let me guess. Gozer worshippers.

EGON Right.

PETER No studying!

EGON After the First World War, Shandor decided that society was too sick to survive. And he wasn't alone. he had close to a thousand followers when he died. They conducted rituals up on the roof, bizarre rituals intended to bring about the end of the world, and now it looks like it may actually happen!

PETER singing So be good, for goodness sake! Whoa! Somebody's coming! Somebody's coming!

RAY We have to get out of here. We've gotta get a judge or something.

WINSTON Hey! Hey! Hold it! Now we going to actually going to go before a federal judge and say that some moldy old Babylonian god is going to drop in on Central Park West and start tearing up the city?

RAY Sumerian, not Babylonian.

PETER Yeah, big difference!

WINSTON No offense, guys, but I gotta get my own lawyer.

JAIL GUARD Okay, Ghostbusters! The mayor wants to see you guys. The whole island's going crazy! Let's go.

PETER to other jailbirds I gotta split. The mayor wants to rap with me about some things.

Outside Ivo Shandor Building LOUIS walks by. Shocked. Looks up to the top.

Remnants of DANA's apartment

LOUIS I am the Keymaster!

DANA I am the Gatekeeper. they kiss, then go up the stairs to the Temple of Zuul

Outside City Hall Police escort Ghostbusters to the MAYOR. Reporters and photographers try to get press. Music: Savin' The Day.

POLICE CAPTAIN Stay back! Stay back!

Inside MAYOR's office

MAYOR I got a city blowing up, and you guys are not giving me any answers!

POLICE COMMISIONER All right. We're blocking the bridges, the roads. I mean -

MAYOR'S AIDE The Ghostbusters are here, Mr. Mayor.

MAYOR The Ghostbusters, all right, the Ghostbusters. Hey, where's this Peck?

PECK I am Walter Peck, sir, and I'm prepared to make a full report. These men are consummate snowball artists! They use sensitive nerve gases to induce hallucinations. People think they're seeing ghosts! And they call these bozos, who conveniently show up to deal with the problem with a fake electronic light show!

RAY Everything was fine with our system until the power grid was shut off by dickless here.

PECK They caused an explosion!

MAYOR Is this true?

PETER Yes, it's true. This man has no dick. PECK lunges at PETER. Police try to break up fight.

POLICE SERGEANT Break it up, break it up!

PETER Well, that's what I heard!

MAYOR This is City Hall! Now what am I gonna do here, John? What is this?

FIRE COMMISIONER All I know is: that was no light show we saw this morning. I've seen every kind of combustion known to man, but this beats the hell out of me.

POLICE COMMISIONER The walls in the 53rd precinct were bleeding. How do you explain that?

ARCHBISHOP entering Good afternoon, gentlemen.

MAYOR Oh... Your Eminence! kisses ARCHBISHOP's ring

ARCHBISHOP How are you, Lenny?

MAYOR You're looking good, Mike. gives ARCHBISHOP a friendly slap We're in a real fix, here. What do you think I should do?

ARCHBISHOP Lenny, officially, the Church will not take any position on the religious implications of these phenomena. Personally, Lenny, I think it's a sign from God. But don't quote me on that.

MAYOR I think that's a smart move, Mike. But I'm not gonna call a press conference and tell everyone to start praying.

WINSTON I'm Winston Zeddemore, Your Honor. Look, I've only been with the company for a couple of weeks. But I gotta tell you, these things are real. Since I joined these men, I've seen shit that'll turn you white!

PETER Well, you could believe Mr. Pecker.

PECK My name is Peck!

PETER Or you could accept the fact that this city is headed for a disaster of biblical proportions.

MAYOR What do you mean, biblical?

RAY What he means is Old Testament biblical, Mr. Mayor. Real wrath-of-God-type stuff. Fire and brimstone coming from the sky! Rivers and seas boiling!

EGON Forty years of darkness! Earthquakes! Volcanoes!

WINSTON The dead rising from the grave!

PETER Human sacrifice, dogs and cats living together, mass hysteria!

MAYOR Enough! I get the point! What if you're wrong?

PETER If I'm wrong, nothing happens! We go to jail. Peacefully, quietly. We'll enjoy it! But if I'm right, and we can stop this thing; Lenny, you will have saved the lives of millions of registered voters. MAYOR smiles. ARCHBISHOP nods.

PECK all the wind sucked out of his sails I don't believe you're seriously considering listening to these men. PETER smiles a smug smile.

MAYOR Get him out of here.

PETER waving Bye.

PECK I'll fix you, Venkman. I'm gonna fix you!

PETER I am going to send you a nice fruit basket. I'm gonna miss him!

PECK All right, all right!

MAYOR You've got work to do. Now what do you need from me?

The streets of New York Music: Savin' The Day. The streets are clear, but the sidewalks are jammed with people waving signs and cheering. Military and police personnel yell things. The Ghostbusters wait in Ecto-1 with their police escort. PETER Come on, let's run some red lights! The cars start moving.

Outside Ivo Shandor Building Dark clouds gather atop the building, shrouding the Temple of Zuul. The police escort drives up. The Ghostbusters get out and suit up. The crowd cheers.

PETER Hello, New York! Well, hi, everyone! raises RAY's hand high Dr. Ray Stantz! Would you please? The heart of the Ghostbusters! Thank you. They love you. They love you here! walks down the sidewalk, shaking and kissing hands I like that shirt, pal! Gotta run. Got a date with a ghost! All right, whatever happens, let's be professionals. The Ghostbusters assemble in front of the building, looking up at the darkness above. Lightning strikes the building. RAY We might have to put a little overtime in on this one! Earthquake! A water main breaks. People fall and scream. A pit opens below the Ghostbusters. They fall in. So does the front end of a police car. The earthquake suddenly stops. The crowd comes to its feet. PEOPLE IN CROWD Are you all right? Ghostbusters? Are they all right? A dazed RAY pops out of the hole There they are! the others climb out of the hole Ghostbusters! Ghostbusters! Ghostbusters!

PETER We're all right, it's all right, we can take it! You gotta learn to play rough! You wanna play rough?

RAY Yeah!

WINSTON Let's go! Music: Savin' The Day. They grab hands, pushing down, then up, and go into building

Ivo Shandor Building; many flights of stairs They groan as they climb the stairs.

PETER Where are we?

RAY Oh, it looks like we're in the teens somewhere.

PETER Well, when we get to twenty, tell me. I'm gonna throw up.

Temple of Zuul DANA and LOUIS stand on terror dog pedestals. Lightning shoots between them and the gates to the spirit world. The gates open up.

Floor 22

RAY Twenty-two. Is this it?

PETER Yeah.

EGON Art Deco. Very nice.

RAY Where is it?

PETER It's at the end of the hall.

Remnants of DANA's apartment RAY points out the stairs to the Temple of Zuul.

RAY Hey, where do these stairs go?

PETER They go up. He's about to go upstairs. Lightning goes off. He pushes his friends on. Okay. Go ahead. Come on, go ahead. Come on. Go ahead!

Temple of Zuul The Ghostbusters arrive. Lightning strikes DANA and LOUIS.

PETER Dana! DANA and LOUIS turn into terror dogs Okay. That's all. She's a dog. The Ghostbusters line up in front of the temple. GOZER emerges from the temple.

RAY It's a girl. GOZER pets the terror dogs

EGON It's Gozer.

WINSTON I thought Gozer was a man.

EGON It's whatever it wants to be.

PETER Well, whatever it is, it's gotta get by us!

RAY Right!

PETER Go get her, Ray! RAY steps up

RAY Gozer the Gozerian! Good evening! As a duly designated representative of the state, county and city of New York, I order you to cease any and all supernatural activity and return forthwith to your place of origin or to the nearest convenient parallel dimension!

PETER That ought to do it. Thanks very much, Ray.

GOZER Are you a god? PETER nods "yes" to RAY

RAY No.

GOZER reaching its arms back into the temple Then... die! Fires lightning at the Ghostbusters. They sail across the temple, clinging to the edge of the building. Outside Ivo Shandor Building Crowd screams.

Temple of Zuul

WINSTON Ray, when someone asks you if you're a god, you say, "Yes!" RAY nods

PETER All right. This chick is toast! they march up to the temple Got your stick?

PETER, RAY, EGON, WINSTON unhooking proton guns Holding!

PETER Heat 'em up!

PETER, RAY, EGON, WINSTON charging guns Smoking!

PETER Make 'em hard!

PETER, RAY, EGON, WINSTON Ready!

PETER Let's show this prehistoric bitch how we do things downtown. Strike! They blast GOZER. It yowls and flips across the temple. Nimble little minx, isn't she? Aim for the flat top! They blast again. GOZER vanishes. Well! That wasn't so hard.

RAY We neutralized it! You know what that means? A complete particle reversal!

WINSTON Hey, we have the tools, we have the talent!

PETER It's Miller time!

EGON looking at PKE meter Ray? This looks extraordinarily bad. Earthquake at the temple. Rocks fall. Look out!

Outside Ivo Shandor Building Rocks fall. Crowd screams.

Temple of Zuul Voice of GOZER sounds.

GOZER Subcreatures! Gozer the Gozerian, Gozer the Destructor, Volguus Zildrohar, the Traveler, has come! Choose and perish!

RAY What do you mean, choose? We don't understand!

GOZER Choose! Choose the form of the Destructor!

PETER Whoa! I get it, I get it. Very cute! Whatever we think of - if we think of J. Edgar Hoover, J. Edgar Hoover will appear and destroy us, okay? So empty your heads. Empty your heads. Don't think of anything. We've only got one shot at this.

GOZER The choice is made! The Traveler has come!

PETER Whoa! Whoa! Nobody choosed anything! Did you choose anything?

EGON No!

PETER Did you?

WINSTON My mind's totally blank!

PETER I didn't choose anything! PETER, EGON and WINSTON stare at RAY

RAY trembling I couldn't help it. It just popped in there!

PETER What? What just popped in there?

RAY I - I tried to think - stomping and screaming from below

EGON Look!

RAY No! It can't be!

WINSTON What is it?

RAY It can't be!

WINSTON What did you do, Ray?

RAY It can't be!

WINSTON Aw, shit!

RAY solemnly It's the Stay-Puft Marshmallow Man.

Outside Shandor Building Stay-Puft Marshmallow Man stomps cars as people run and scream in terror.

Temple of Zuul

PETER Well, there's something you don't see every day.

RAY I tried to think of the most harmless thing. Something I loved from my childhood. Something that could never, ever possibly destroy us. Mr. Stay-Puft...

PETER Nice thinking, Ray.

RAY We used to roast Stay-Puft marshmallows, by the fire at Camp Waconda!

PETER Ray has gone bye-bye, Egon. What have you got left?

EGON Sorry, Venkman. I'm terrified beyond the capacity for rational thought. Stay-Puft Marshmallow Man growls at them.

WINSTON Oh, no.

PETER Mother pus-bucket!

Outside Shandor Building PECK keeps his distance from the marshmallow man. It stomps on a church.

Temple of Zuul

PETER Nobody steps on a church in my town!

RAY One, two, three! Roast him! They blast Mr. Stay-Puft. It puts him on fire which soars up to them. He climbs up the side of the building.

PETER Whoa... they run and hide

RAY Funny, us going out like this. Killed by a hundred-foot marshmallow man.

PETER We've been going about this all wrong! This Mr. Stay-Puft isn't so bad. He's a sailor, he's in New York; we get this guy laid, we won't have any trouble! marshmallow man continues scaling up the side of building

EGON I have a radical idea. The door swings both ways. We could reverse the particle flow through the gate.

PETER How?

EGON We'll cross the streams.

PETER Excuse me, Egon, you said crossing the streams was bad.

RAY Cross the streams...

PETER You're gonna endanger us, you're gonna endanger our client. The nice lady who paid us in advance before she became a dog.

EGON Not necessarily. There's definitely a very slim chance we'll survive.

PETER giving RAY a friendly slap I love this plan! I'm excited to be a part of it. Let's do it!

WINSTON This job is definitely not worth eleven-five a year! they run to the temple just as Mr. Stay-Puft lifts his head up

EGON Hurry!

PETER See you on the other side, Ray. fires

RAY Nice working with you, Dr. Venkman. Fires. They cross the streams. Let's turn 'em on, Spengler! EGON and WINSTON fire Cross 'em now, Spengler! Mr. Stay-Puft sees what's going on. He screams. The four proton beams combine to make one big one, blasting right into the temple. The gates swing shut.

PETER, RAY, EGON, WINSTON shouting randomly Aggh! Oh, no! Help! It's gonna blow! Let's get out of here! They stop firing and run away. The Temple of Zuul explodes. Mr. Stay-Puft does as well.

Outside Ivo Shandor Building Marshmallow spatters all over. PECK looks up just in time to see a big glob splatter on him. He yells and curses at the sky. Remnants of Temple of Zuul Marshmallow all over everything, including RAY and WINSTON.

RAY Oh... oh... Winston? Are you all right?

WINSTON Yeah, yeah. they laugh

RAY Venkman? Spengler? Venkman? Spengler? EGON, covered in marshmallow, enters Oh, Spengler, are you okay?

EGON I feel like the floor of a taxi cab. PETER enters. He has very little marshmallow on him.

RAY Venkie!

PETER Yeah. I'm all right.

RAY Thank God. You okay?

EGON I'm all right.

RAY You all right?

PETER I'm all right.

RAY You okay?

PETER Fine... Walks away. Comes across remnants of terror dog statue.

RAY Oh. Smells like barbecued dog hair. Oh... Venkman. Oh, Venkman, I'm sorry... I'm sorry... I... I just forgot. PETER walks away sadly. Then part of the statue breaks off. A hand reaches out.

DANA Mm...

RAY Look! The Ghostbusters break open the statue, and PETER lifts DANA out.
LOUIS, with a terror dog statue head on his head, walks around helplessly.

LOUIS Somebody turn on the lights! Help! Somebody turn on the lights!

PETER Go check on that little guy! RAY, EGON and WINSTON go to help them. They remove the terror dog head.

LOUIS What happened?

DANA coming to Oh... oh... oh... where am I? opens eyes, sees PETER Oh... hi...

EGON regarding LOUIS He'll be all right.

LOUIS Boy, the superintendent's gonna be pissed.

RAY Are you okay?

LOUIS Who are you guys?

RAY We're the Ghostbusters.

LOUIS Who does your taxes? PETER leads DANA away. RAY, EGON and LOUIS start to walk off.

RAY You know, Mr. Tully, you are a most fortunate individual!

LOUIS I know.

RAY You have been a participant in the biggest interdimensional crossrip since the Tunguska blast of 1909!

LOUIS Felt great!

EGON We'd like to get a sample of your brain tissue.

LOUIS Okay.

WINSTON throwing up hands and cheering I love this town!

Outside Ivo Shandor Building Music: Ghostbusters. The crowd cheers for the Ghostbusters. PETER gives DANA a long kiss on the lips. RAY takes a puff on a cigarette as he waves. PETER escorts DANA into Ecto-1. EGON leaves building. JANINE runs into his arms. JANINE Egon! They kiss. He pats her cheeks. LOUIS comes out, waving.

LOUIS What's going on? Does anyone wanna interview me? I'm an eyewitness. I was up there! Red Cross employees take him off, but LOUIS protests. I wanna go with them, in the car.

WINSTON puts his proton pack away. The Ghostbusters get into Ecto-1 and the crowd parts to let them through. As Ecto-1 drives off, the crowd chases after it.
Slimer flies above the crowd, screaming, and flies into the camera. Fade to black. Final credits roll.

The End

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