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  • [first lines]
  • Arthur: Student log, May 15. Still no sign of civilization. We're lost in the Sahara after a field trip to the Elwood City Petting Zoo went wrong,
  • [the vulture screeches]
  • Arthur: ...horribly wrong. The only food we have left is...
  • Buster: Chili Pepper Popcorn? "Now Extra Spicy."
  • Binky: [throws dust at Buster] Shoo! [groaning]
  • Arthur: At least we still have a full bottle of water. [looks at Francine, pouring water on her hand] Francine! What are you doing?!
  • Francine: I can't tell if this is dirt on my wrist or freckle, so I'm seeing if it washes off.
  • Arthur: But we need that water for drinking! Log correction: less than a full bottle of... [hears a splash]
  • Muffy: Shoo!
  • Arthur: Muffy, are you crazy?!
  • Muffy: [squirts water out at the vulture] Shoo! That bird's looking at me funny. I'm trying to scare it off. Shoo!
  • Arthur: But you're wasting our water! With water supplies dwindling fast...
  • [Binky pours water in the balloon]
  • Arthur: A water balloon?!
  • Binky: Shh! Don't tell anyone, you'll spoil it. Hey, Buster! [throws a balloon, popping, with the vulture flying away, squawking]
  • Arthur: Guys! We'll never survive if we waste our water! All of our cool, quenching, refreshing... [takes a drink, wiping it off, sighing] Oops.
  • [they all growl]
  • [the title card]
  • Francine: [singing in a shower] Take the midnight train and maybe! Maybe! I'll be waiting at the station for you! [speaking] Wow. I've never sounded better. I can't believe I've been taking baths all these years. [continues singing] You and me!
  • [the smoke comes out from a bath, meowing]
  • Catherine: You were in the shower for half an hour.
  • Francine: Sorry, Catherine. Is there a law against washing?
  • Catherine: [shows a newspaper] Look at this.
  • Francine: "Boy Finds Chip Shaped Like Donkey"?
  • Catherine: Not that, this.
  • Francine: "Drought His Elwood City." So?
  • Catherine: "Reservoir levels at a 40-year low."
  • Francine: [puts Nemo down] So there's a drought. It's not like one girl taking a shower makes a difference.
  • Catherine: Mom!
  • [Francine runs to Catherine, then Arthur brushes his teeth, humming]
  • D.W.: Arthur Read! What do you think you're doing?
  • Arthur: Hey!
  • D.W.: [turns water off] It's called water conversation.
  • Arthur: [spits out] You mean conservation. And what it's really called is annoying your brother. [turns water back on]
  • D.W.: [turns water back off] Ms. Morgan says if you use up all the water, there'll be none left for my generation.
  • Arthur: We're the same generation. And I'm not using up all the water. [turns the water back on]
  • D.W.: [turns the water back off] Mom! [runs down]
  • [Arthur shakes his head, then the baseball lands on a mitt]
  • Arthur: I wasn't using that much water. And besides, I like hearing water when I brush my teeth. [throws a baseball at Francine]
  • Francine: What do you mean, it's calming? [throws a baseball to Arthur]
  • Arthur: Uh, you know, like how a waterfall is calming.
  • Francine: You need calming when you brush your teeth? A little weird.
  • Arthur: At least I'm not wasting everyone's water screeching in the shower.
  • Francine: It's called singing. And I bet your family uses twice as much water as the Frenskys.
  • Arthur: Oh, yeah? Want to bet? Whoever uses more water in a week...
  • Francine: Has to carry the winner's book bag for the rest of the month.
  • Arthur: You're on!
  • [they both grunt, picking their backpacks up, walking down]
  • Francine: B-9, B-10.
  • Sanders: What you up to, Frensky?
  • Francine: Nothing, Mr. Sanders.
  • Sanders: You're always up to something, filling up my suggestion box till you suggested. We didn't even have a suggestion box till you suggested it.
  • Francine: My mom said the water meter for our apartment is down here.
  • Sanders: Yep. They were useful back when everyone paid for their own water. Now it's easier if I just raise everyone's rent some and pay the water myself.
  • Francine: So I can use as much water as I want, and it doesn't cost my parents any extra?
  • Sanders: Just how much water are you using?
  • Francine: Uh, hardly any at all. I'll be checking the water meter all week to prove it.
  • Sanders: You know what, Frensky? I think I'll be checking it, too. [walks away by Francine]
  • [cut to the building, with Catherine walking to the door, with Francine holding Catherine's hand]
  • Francine: I'll just be a second. I read putting a plastic bottle in the toilet tank saves three liters with every flush.
  • Catherine: You're going to put your hand in the toilet. Gross!
  • Francine: [opens the door] It means I won't have to shorten my showers any.
  • Catherine: The point isn't to save a little in one place so you can waste a lot somewhere else.
  • Francine: [takes the toilet lid, then Catherine puts her hand on] Let go of the lid!
  • [they both grunt for the toilet lid, then Nemo meows, looking at Francine and Catherine, then getting down]
  • Catherine: [lets go of the toilet lid, falling down] No!!
  • [the toilet lid continues falling down, breaking it in half]
  • Francine: Uh-oh.
  • Laverne: We're glad you're trying to conserve.
  • Oliver: Every little bit makes a difference.
  • Francine: See?
  • Oliver: So it's time you took shorter showers, young lady.
  • Catherine: I tried telling her.
  • Laverne: And you can stop talking those nightly baths of yours. Showers use much less water.
  • Oliver: Unless those showers are a half-hour long. And, Francine, it'll be your job...
  • Francine: To kick Catherine out of the shower if she's taking too long?
  • Oliver: To tell Mr. Sanders about the lid you broke.
  • [Catherine pours water in her cup, hearing a toilet flush, then cut to Mr. Sanders]
  • Sanders: It just fell over, huh?
  • Francine: Maybe it was kind of my fault. But look at this. I went online to check out my replacements, and it wouldn't cost that much more to replace the whole toilet with a...
  • Sanders: "Low-flush model"?
  • Francine: They use 12 less liters per flush. Think of the savings.
  • Sanders: Nope. I'm just ordering the lid.
  • Francine: [takes a paper] Rats. A new toilet, and I would have won that bet for sure.
  • [cut to Arthur and Buster]
  • Arthur: So yesterday our family used 1,600 liters of water, which seems like a lot, but... [screaming]
  • D.W.: Since you old people are wasting all my water, I need to take things into my own hands.
  • Arthur: D.W., this is almost four liters of water. Just how much water have you used?
  • D.W.: I don't know. The bathtubs are pretty big.
  • Arthur: The bathtubs? No!
  • Buster: Arthur, whatever's wrong, hiding in the basement won't help. Believe me, I speak from experience.
  • Arthur: I'm not hiding; I was reading the water meter. In the last 24 hours, we've used... [writes in a notebook] ...over 2,000 liters?
  • [cut to a swimming pool]
  • Francine: I've just got to win this bet with Arthur. I put a plastic bottle in the toilet. That's bound to help.
  • Muffy: Oh, wait, I forgot to put the pool cover on. Mom and Daddy make me do it every time 'cause it saves, like, a ton of water a month.
  • Francine: Do you need help?
  • Muffy: No, that's okay, I'll handle it. But this drought's getting to be a real drag. [presses the close button, then closing the pool]
  • [cut back to Francine]
  • Francine: So since yesterday, carry the two, plus three, we used 2,500 liters? How is that possible?
  • Sanders: I knew you were trouble. If your family keeps using water like that, you'll be paying for it.
  • [Francine puts her book down. then hearing a water running]
  • Arthur: Yeah, that goal in the third period was amazing.
  • Francine: Ha! I knew it! You can't save water at home and waste it somewhere else, Arthur. I'm calling a 20-liter penalty.
  • Arthur: Oh, yeah? Well, I call a 200-liter penalty on that certain shower you took at a certain friend's house.
  • Muffy: [opens her door] Sorry, it slipped out.
  • Francine: Okay, okay, we'll play fair for the rest of the bet. [puts her hand out] Agreed?
  • [they both look at Binky, getting out, gasping, then screaming]
  • Binky: How did they get in here?
  • [Francine runs away next to Muffy, closing the door, then they shave, then they turn off the water]
  • Francine: 3,000 liters?
  • [cut to Laverne, closing the washing machine, with Francine running by, pressing the econo button]
  • Francine: 3,400? How can the numbers be going up?
  • [cut to dad, spraying the car, running away, turning off the hose, then cut to Catherine, getting out, stopping the timer]
  • Francine: That shower was four and a half minutes. Try to shave a minute off next time. Now, come on!
  • Catherine: Where are we going?
  • Francine: We need to get this petition signed. [closing her door] It's impossible. How can our family be using 3,600 liters a day? Something's wrong with the meter.
  • Sanders: [offscreen] The meter's fine. It's you Frenskys using up all the water in town. And look what I found in my suggestion box. Everyone in the building signed a petition for new toilets! Do you know how many units are in this building...?
  • Francine: [offscreen] 3,600 liters a day? What happens if the number just keeps rising?
  • [cut to Francine, singing in the shower]
  • Francine: [singing] Not the 10:05 but the midnight train! [uses a brush to pound on the shower]
  • Catherine: [offscreen] You've done it now, Francine. You just used all the water in Elwood City.
  • Francine: [gasping] Oh, no! But Muffy's birthday pool party was today.
  • [cut to Francine outside, running down, panting]
  • Binky: Spare any water, sir?
  • [the opens a opens a case, then taking a pumper out, squirting in the cup]
  • Binky: Thank you, sir. And thanks a lot, Francine!
  • Francine: [continues running down, with a balloon flying up] I'm here! Muffy!
  • Muffy: Thanks a lot, Francine.
  • [Francine looks at the people in the pool with no water, then cut back to Francine]
  • Sanders: [offscreen] Not to mention the labor installing 110 toilets. And where would I even put 110 toilets...
  • Arthur: So after a whole week, the moment of truth has arrived. The Reads used 10,500 liters last week. How about the Frenskys?
  • [Francine shows a paper to Arthur]
  • Arthur: 34,000 liters? Francine, do you run a car wash in here?
  • Francine: I've checked for leaks in the toilet, I fixed the dripping faucet in the kitchen, I just can't figure it out.
  • Buster: There's clearly only one explanation: aliens.
  • [cut to space]
  • Buster: [offscreen] I read even though alien technology is superior to ours in many ways, they somehow failed to develop flush toilets for their spaceships. Which means only one thing...
  • [the UFO zaps a building]
  • Buster: They have to make intergalactic rest stops on our planet.
  • [the UFO continues zapping]
  • Buster: The aliens must really like your bathroom.
  • [cut back to the house]
  • Francine: Aliens? Thanks, Buster. I'll keep that in mind.
  • [they all hear a toilet flush]
  • Francine: My parents aren't home, so that must have been Catherine.
  • Catherine: What must have been Catherine?
  • Buster: If it wasn't her, it must have been an alien!
  • Francine: [in reflection of a door knob] What should we do?
  • Muffy: We can't just burst in. It's not polite, even if it is an alien.
  • [they all hear a toilet flush]
  • Francine: That's another 20 liters of water. All right, alien, I've had it with you! [opens a door]
  • [they all shriek, then Nemo flushes a toilet, looking down]
  • Francine: [offscreen] Nemo? So you're the one?
  • Arthur: That's why I have a dog.
  • [last lines]
  • Arthur: I tried not to put too many books in it today.
  • Muffy: Don't worry, Francine, only ten days left.
  • Francine: At least Sanders replaced all the toilets in my building. Over ten years, he'll be saving 25 million liters of water. So I lost the bet, but I also kind of won. Shh, listen.
  • [they all hear a toilet flush, then starting Family Fortune]