Twilight Sparkle: Rainbow Dash wins the bronco-buck.
Spike: And I lose.
Spike: Whoa! [grunt] How do I get roped into these things?
Rainbow Dash: [grunt] Does this count?
Rainbow Dash: Yuh! [blows raspberry]
Applejack: [grunt] Wah!
Rainbow Dash: Yeah.
Spike: Fillies and gentlecolts, at the halfway point, our competitors are tied at five and five.
Twilight Sparkle: Who are you talking to?
Twilight Sparkle: 95, 96, 97, 98, 99... a hundred!
Rainbow Dash: Yes!
Applejack: Be a good sport, Applejack.
Rainbow Dash: [grunt]
Twilight Sparkle: All right, you two. This is the final event. Give it all you've got.
Spike: Looks like the workhorse might come out ahead in this one.
Applejack: [mumbling] That's not fair. You can't use your wings to help you win.
Rainbow Dash: Huh?
Applejack: [mumbling] You're cheatin'!
Rainbow Dash: I can't understand you with that rope in your mouth.
Applejack: [spits] I said... uh-oh. [grunt]
Rainbow Dash: Woo-hoo! I win by a landslide... or mudslide in your case. [chuckles] I am the Iron Pony!
Applejack: Only 'cause you cheated.
Rainbow Dash: What?
Applejack: You used your wingpower to help you win over half those contests.
Rainbow Dash: Sounds like sour apples to me.
Applejack: Are you sayin' you didn't use your wings?
Rainbow Dash: Well... no. But you never said I couldn't use my wings.
Applejack: I didn't think I needed to tell you to play fair.
Rainbow Dash: I still would have won even without my wings.
Applejack: Hah! Prove it.
Rainbow Dash: Gladly. How?
Applejack: Tomorrow is the annual Runnin' of the Leaves. I challenge you to race me in it.
Rainbow Dash: Heh! Easy shmeasy.
Applejack: Hold on! There is one condition: the point is to run, so no wings allowed.
Rainbow Dash: No wings? No problem.
Rainbow Dash: [spit]
Rainbow Dash: [blows raspberry]
Spike: Twilight, hurry up, we're gonna be late for the race.
Twilight Sparkle: Why are you so excited about the race? It's only for ponies.
Spike: Yeah, but I'm hoping I can be the announcer again. Just listen: Fillies and gentlecolts, welcome to the annual Running of the--
Pinkie Pie: Welcome to the annual Running of the Leaves! This is Pinkie Pie, your official p-eye-in-the-sky announcer.
Twilight Sparkle: Sorry, Spike. I guess that job's already taken.
Pinkie Pie: As everypony knows, the Running is a very important tradition, for without it, the autumn leaves of Equestria would never fall. So get ready, ponies. The Running of the Leaves will begin in five minutes.
Rainbow Dash: Pardon me, excuse me. Make way for the Iron Pony.
Applejack: The Iron Phony, you mean.
Rainbow Dash: So, Applejack, you ready to win second place?
Applejack: I'm ready to run a good, clean race.
Rainbow Dash: Yeah, yeah...
Applejack: You are not allowed to use your wings.
Rainbow Dash: I could win this race with both wings tied behind my back.
Applejack: [grunts] Trussed up like a turkey. Well, a turkey who can't fly, that is.
Rainbow Dash: Very funny.
Applejack: 'Least now we know we're racin' fair and square.
Spike: Uh, yeah. I know you're doing the announcing today and stuff and... I'm sure you're gonna do a great job and all, but... I was just wondering...
Pinkie Pie: What?
Spike: Aw... Forget it.
Pinkie Pie: Spike! Would you like to be my co-reporter? We could comment on the action together.
Spike: We could?
Pinkie Pie: Climb on up.
Applejack: Twilight? What in tarnation are you doin' up here?
Twilight Sparkle: I'm racing.
Rainbow Dash: [laughs] Good one, Twilight.
Twilight Sparkle: I'm not joking.
Rainbow Dash: What? You're not an athlete, you're a... well... you're an egghead.
Twilight Sparkle: I am not an egghead, I am well-read.
Rainbow Dash: [softly] Egghead.
Applejack: [snickers] But have you ever run a race?
Twilight Sparkle: Well, no, but I do know a lot about running.
Rainbow Dash: And you know this from...
Twilight Sparkle: Books. I've read several on the subject.
Rainbow Dash: What'd you read, "The Egghead's Guide to Running"? Did you stretch out your eye muscles to warm up? [laugh] Get it? Eye muscles.
Twilight Sparkle: Scoff if you must, Rainbow. But the Running of the Leaves is a Ponyville tradition, and since I'm here to learn, I've decided I should experience it myself.
Applejack: Well, I think that's just dandy, Twilight. Good luck. [snickers]
Rainbow Dash: Yeah. See you at the finish line... Tomorrow.
Pinkie Pie: All right, ponies, are you ready?
Spike: Get set.
Pinkie Pie: And they're off!
Pinkie Pie: Welcome to the official coverage of the Running of the Leaves! You know, Spike, despite its name, the leaves don't do any of the actual running. No, that's left to My Little Ponies.
Spike: Why, yes, Pinkie, it's the running of the ponies that causes the leaves to fall.
Pinkie Pie: Ugh. Those lazy, lazy leaves. But this year, the run is about more than the weather. It's about the race to the finish and the two runners who want to win it: Applejack and Rainbow Dash.
Spike: You know, Pinkie, these two ponies have a bit of a grudge match they're trying to settle. Trying to prove who's the most athletic.
Pinkie Pie: Yes, and "grudge" rhymes with "fudge".
Spike: Yes, it... does. What?
Pinkie Pie: And I like fudge. But if I eat too much fudge I get a pudge and then I can't budge.
Spike: So... no fudge?
Pinkie Pie: Oh, no thanks. I had a big breakfast. Let's check in with our two competitive ponies, Applejack and Rainbow Dash. Having come fast out of the gate, Applejack and Rainbow Dash are evenly matched running neck in neck. But what's this? Applejack is making a move, she's now ahead by a nose. But Rainbow Dash won't let Applejack have it and takes the lead. She's ahead by half a nose. Or maybe three quarters of a nose. No, about sixty-three point seven percent of a nose... Roughly speaking. Applejack sees this move and pushes forth with her strong workhorse legs slinking ahead by three hundred and fifty noses!
Applejack: Not so easy without wings, is it?
Rainbow Dash: Come on, Rainbow. Show 'em a little dash.
Spike: Ho-hold your horses, Pinkie! Rainbow Dash is catching up the frontrunner Applejack!
Pinkie Pie: What an upset. I thought Applejack had this in the bag.
Rainbow Dash: You didn't think I was gonna let you off that easily, did you?
Applejack: Whoa! I don't believe it.
Twilight Sparkle: I know, it's beautiful, isn't it?
Applejack: Not the scenery, Twilight. Rainbow Dash just tripped me.
Twilight Sparkle: She did not.
Applejack: She did too!
Twilight Sparkle: She did not, and if you slowed down and looked where you're going, like me, you'd see that you tripped over a rock.
Applejack: What? Oh, hayseed! Now I got a lot of ground to make up to catch Rainbow.
Twilight Sparkle: Just be careful!
Applejack: See you at the finish line!
Spike: I don't believe it. After a huge setback, Applejack is back at the front of the pack.
Pinkie Pie: She's the head of the pack, all right. The pick of the litter! The cat's pajamas! Oh wait, why would Applejack take some poor kitty's PJs? That's not very sporting of her.
Spike: Oookay... Let's get back to the race.
Rainbow Dash: Not so fast, Applejack! This race isn't over yet!
Spike: And Spike. Looks like Rainbow is doing her best to catch up.
Pinkie Pie: I'm not sure how ketchup is going to help her in this contest. Now, in a hot dog eating contest it can make them doggies nice and slippery, but personally I prefer mustard. How about you, Spike?
Spike: Uh... I... like... pickles?
Pinkie Pie: Aaand it looks like Applejack has found herself in quite a pickle as Rainbow overtakes her.
Rainbow Dash: Look, ma, no wings.
Spike: As the racers enter Equestria's Whitetail Wood, Rainbow Dash is back in the lead.
Rainbow Dash: [chuckles]
Applejack: Ugh. Hey, Rainbow!
Rainbow Dash: [blows raspberry]
Applejack: [gasp] Why, that little cheater did that on purpose. It's on.
Rainbow Dash: Nice one, Rainbow.
Rainbow Dash: [gasp] Aaa!
Rainbow Dash: [laughing]
Twilight Sparkle: Oh my, Whitetail Wood is just lovely. Hey, Rainbow, shouldn't you be up ahead?
Rainbow Dash: [chuckling] I'm sure I'll win now.
Twilight Sparkle: Except that the other racers just passed you.
Rainbow Dash: Oh horse apples... See ya!
Pinkie Pie: Applejack, what are you doing up here?
Spike: There aren't even any trees.
Applejack: Er, no, but the sign's pointed this way... Rainbow. Mind giving me a lift?
Rainbow Dash: What the hay?! You said no flying!
Applejack: No, I said no wings.
Pinkie Pie: I must say, Spike, that this has been the most interesting Running of the Leaves in Equestria history!
Spike: With the most interesting announcing.
Pinkie Pie: But it isn't the running that's been fascinating. It's the lack of running!
Rainbow Dash: [grunt] Aaa!
Rainbow Dash: Whoa!
Twilight Sparkle: Forgive me, girls. I know I'm not an athlete, but shouldn't the Running of the Leaves actually involve running?
Rainbow Dash: You know, I think Twilight's right.
Applejack: You do?
Rainbow Dash: Yeah! If you wanna beat me, you better... RUUUN!
Pinkie Pie: Once again, Rainbow Dash and Applejack are neck in neck, jockeying for position. Applejack inches ahead, now it's Rainbow, it's Applejack, it's Rainbow Dash, it's Applejack--
Spike: Oh no, she di'int!
Pinkie Pie: Oh yes, she di'id!
Applejack: Cut it out!
Rainbow Dash: No, you cut it out!
Applejack: You started it.
Rainbow Dash: And now I'm gonna finish it.
Applejack: Oh no, you won't.
Rainbow Dash: Oh yes, I will. [grunt] That's it! All bets are off!