This page's transcript is incomplete for the following reason(s):
Remove this template once any and all issues are resolved.
Hmm, hmm, hmm Ohh! Ugh! - Ohh! Ohh! Ow! Wow-hoo!|Yah-hoo-hoo-hoo-ee! Yah! Whoo! Yeah, dude! Bobby, do that again,|but this time don't fall down. - Aah!|- Whoo-hoo-wow! Huh? Do you realize going off|to college means no more... well-meaning but totally smothering,|overprotective, doting, ah-yucking dads? Yeah, well,|yours at least. My dad's been counting down|the days until he can turn|my bedroom into a bowling alley. Hey, we have a surefire way|to shoot straight to the top|of the freshman heap. The College "X" Games! First freshman team|to win it all! First team to boot those|number one Gammas on their boot-tays! Huh! The Gammas|may be five-time winners, but I hope they're ready|for a losing streak! Let's beat the Gammas!|Let's do it to it! Woo-woo-woo-woo! Gawrsh, Pete, one day|you're changin' their diapers, and the next thing|you know... they're all grown up|and leavin' for college. Well, Goof,|the way I see it, it's my last night of baby-sitting,|and I'm a free man! Oh, yeah! Ha-ha!|Free, free, free, I tell you! Yah-hoo! Ha-ha!|Come on, son. I can't miss you|if you won't leave! - Ah-ha-ha-ha-ha!|- Yeah, free. Hey, why don't you get the boys?|Food's almost ready. It's time to sere|these little babies now. Ha-ha-ooh! Nice rasta, pasta,|Maxman. Ooh, Maxie's pretty good|at that boardin' stuff. He is totally gonna kill|at college. Huh? - Yeah! Yes! Listen, son, that there|"X" Games fiddle-faddle... may be all well and fun, but remember, you're going off to|college to make something of yourselves. - Exactly.|- You'll get a degree, and the world|will be your clam. Uh, oyster, Dad? No, thanks.|I'm saving room for weenies. Now, let me show you|exactly what I mean. Oh, no, not|the old horseshoe lecture. You see, tossin' horseshoes|is a lot like how life works. Sorr, Pete. Uh, like I was sayin'... It's about|staying focused on your goals. Right. You see,|ever once in a while... life gives you an important|tossin' opportunity. Like, uh, well...|college, for instance! If you want|that dee-ploma, you gotta fix both eyes on it|like it was this here horseshoe stake. And with the proper|"consecration"... and follow-through, Throw it, will ya! You should hear the clang|of a ringer! Yah-hoo-hoo-hoo!|A ringer! See, Maxie?|You've just gotta stay focused. - Huh?|- Hey, Goof, - it's gettin' cold already. Save a weenie for me! Hey, Peej, isn't ten hot dogs enough?|Pass 'em over here. Ooh, I can't wait|to get out of here. Here, let me|help you pack. Dad, I can do that. I sure hope so. I'm not gonna be there|at college to pick up after you. In fact,|it's gonna be a long time... before you see|your old man again. What, maybe Christmas? Ah, Dad,|it'll go by fast. Not too fast, I hope. It's time to take charge,|live your own life. You're a grown man now,|Maxie-Poo. I'm not takin' ol' Stuffed Bear|to college, Dad! - Sure you are.|- No. What are you talkin' about?|You love Stuffed Bear. - Come on. You're gonna need him.|- I'm not kidding! - No! Well, then, I got somethin' else|for you. - Son, I want you to have this. Oh! It weighs|like a ton! I bet it's one of those combo|TV/CD/VCR/Laptop/Scanner/Fax|things, right? Oh, man,|they are so cool! - Too stunned to speak, huh?|- No, just stunned. What is it? This was my father's. And now, son,|it's yours. Thanks, Dad.|This means a lot to me. Oh, listen,|I'm gonna turn in. You know, big day tomorrow. - Good night, Dad.|- Good night, son. Ah-yuck. Ah-yuck. Did you brush your teeth? Yeah, Dad. - Comb your hair?|- Yep. - Did you put on clean underwear?|- Dad! - Come on, Max!|- Oop! Gotta go! But, Max... Ooh! - Goin' already?|- Gotta get there early for|freshman orientation. See ya. What about breakfast? - You need your three squares|a day, you know.|- Don't worr. We'll pick up donuts on the way.|Love ya! Miss ya!|See you at Christmas! Bye! Don't forget to have some milk|with those... donuts. Don't forget to have some milk|with those... donuts. Good-bye,|my little college man. - Gawrsh. Doot-doot-doot-doot Doot-doot-doot Okay, dude, south. Un, no, wait. I mean... I don't know,|man. Do I look like Magellan? - P.J., you couldn't spell Magellan.|- Tr hangin' a Louie. No, no. Wait.|That's the other Louie. Louie, Huey, Dewey?|What're you talkin' about? Yo, it's right here.|This way. Yeah, Peej,|Bobby's right. Hey, Bob, um,|who's drivin'? Aaah! Check it out! Gentlemen, I welcome you|to the first day... of the rest|of our lives. Wow.|That's pretty deep. Did you get that off a bumper sticker? Yo. I spy the Gamma house,|which means... that dude right there|is the one, the only... Bradley Uppercrust the Third! Whoa!|The College "X" Games king! Yeah, until we take the crown. Let's play ball, Dad. Max. - Hiya, Dad.|- Maxie. Mr. Goof!|An assembly line is for assembling. Stop daydreaming|and get back to work... or else! Oh-oh-oh-oh!|Ohh! Wah! Oh, no!|Look out! Yah-hoo-hoo-hoo! Ooh! Ooh! Goofy! I warned you! You're fired! Huh? Oh. Wow! Great air, Max-a-million!|Ha-ha-ha-ha-hah! Maxie! Yeah! - Look at that guy go. Oh, my gosh!|- I can't look at anything else. Whoa! Did you see that? Well, well, well. Look what the freshman cat|dragged in, baby. Some new meat. Hey, easy, big fella.|That new meat looks like Gamma material. Let's check him out.|Gammas, roll! Ugh!|Ta-da Check it out. Look who's|following us. Let's just make sure it stays that way. Grande cap, extra foamy, hold the whip,|cinnamon dust, biscotti side. - Iced double-tall, percent cap.|We have any scones?|- We got two. You guys grab a table,|I'll grab the java. Life. Life is like a lime. Hmm.|It's tart and tangy. Sweet.|Ooh, so sublime. Quiet, speechless like a mime. Bold and noisy|like a crime. - Don't you dare waste my time,|'cause life can stop... - Don't you dare waste my time,|'cause life can stop... On a dime. Bravo! Bravo! Encore! Author,|Arthur Miller! Suddenly|I'm feelin' dizzy... with emotion. Check it out, Bradley.|He's over there. I'm gonna go give him|a Gamma welcome. - Ahh!|- Ooh. I'm sorr, I, l... No, no, no. No.|It's, uh, all right, really. I'd wager that|if you were on a skateboard,|you wouldn't have spilled a drop. You'd win that bet. It's my best event.|Hi. I'm Max. Bradley.|Bradley Uppercrust the Third. - Ah, yes, my right-hand man,|Gamma Brother Tank. The pleasure's all mine,|baby. Welcome aboard, little tyke.|You're class, the high kind. Max, we have won ever|College "X" Games competition... since the beginning. And we have decided to make you|our first draft pick. Lucky you, huh?|What do you think of that? No way.|You want us to be Gammas? Ha! You guys,|you hear that? - We're gonna be part...|- Hold on, pal. This reservation's|only for one. Oh, well, I'm sorr, but P.J.,|Bobby and I are in this together. It's all of us,|or none of me. Max, Max, Max. You don't wanna be weighed down|by those clowns, do you? I thought you wanted|to win. Well, that's just what|we're going to do. Ha! Like you'll find any better|competitors than my teammates. They're the real deal.|Serious athletes. Check it.|Uh-huh. - The Dynamic Dorks. Come on. The only thing|you three could win... is a loser contest,|baby. Wow, nice trick. Do they go fetch|and play dead too? Why, yes.|As a matter of fact they do. Gammas, fetch. Uh-oh.|This can't be good. - Back off, man. I've got a biscotti,|and I'm not afraid to use it. All right, quit toying|with my emotions. I thought|we were friends. See, I'm giving you the opportunity|to join the Gamma Mu Mu Fraternity. Mu, Mu! Who wants to join a herd of cows? - Tank?|- Now, pray tell, sweetheart. Would Mr. Uppercrust like a little power|wedgie for your viewing pleasure? Hey, leave him alone!|Huh? Bobby! Hey, don't worr, bro. I'm a yellow belt. Eee-ya! Eee-ya! Hey, Daddy-os. This is a real L-7 scene. Let's all take a trip down the road|of forgiveness and compassion. Ooh, passion. I like your style, Little Miss|Mochachino, but I'm busy right now. Well, I'm dizzy right now|from watching your downward spiral. Ah, why don't you go off|and save some whales or something? Ha! Oh, you slay me, Tiger. You are the fly in my soup.|You are the eyelash in my eye. You are so busy blowing out bad vibes|in ever direction, that we are all choking on your|secondhand smoke. Errr! Knock it off! What's wrong, Brad? Don't you dare|call me that! Yeah. Don't forget,|he's the king, buster. Yeah, well, we'll dethrone you|and the Gammas, your royal lowness. Huh. You'll be lucky|to be my towel boy. Why don't we just make|a little wager on that? Loser of the finals|will be towel boy to the other. You got a deal. Be ready to wipe the dirt|off my shoes, freshman. Gammas, out! - Don't let the door hit ya.|- Later. Now, that's the first time|I ever saw the trash... take itself out. You've got the beat,|boys. Well, you invented it,|girl. You let your fingers|do the talkin'. Right. Next! Well, Mr. Goof, I notice you don't have|a college degree. Well, I did complete|three years, but... Look, doll, I'm afraid|we can only get jobs... for people who have|college degrees. So, what do you need? What is "a degree"? Bingo! We have a winner. Oh, what's a Goof to do? Well, doll...|Uh, Mr. Goof, the answer to your problem|is simple. The only way to build your career|is to go back to college. College? Me? I was there in the '70s.|I'm too old for that now. Come on, doll. You're never too old|to learn a new trick. "We who are godlike now|were once a mass... - Of quivering purple|flecked with bars of gold. Insentient!|Full of joy or miser, and tossed in|terrible tangles... - Mommy, I didn't do it!|- Of some wild... - and windswept..." Hi, everbody! I'm just a yearnin'|for some learnin'. Who is this goon? Right on, brother!|Ah-yuck! - Hey, Max, is my vision blurred...|- Oh, no. Oh, no. Or does that guy|look like your dad? - Maxie!|- Kill me. Just kill me now! Hey, Maxie, looks like you and me|are gonna be classmates. Ah-yuck.|He's my son. Daddy's little baby|couldn't be alone? Nooo! So I got fired.|Guess I lost my focus. Ah, Dad, I'm so sorr|to hear that. Well, look, if you're here to stay,|I think we need to... Focus more.|You're absolutely right. Now that I'm with ya, I won't be|distracted no more. No, sirree. I'm gonna get me|that college degree... Whoa! - What a bonehead!|- What a loser. Dad,|what I was saying... is that we need to establish|some ground rules. Well, sure.|Whatever you say, Maxie. First thing,|lose the wig. But I need to look|hip and groovy for college. Dad, you're scaring people. I know you're worried it might be hard|to get into the swing of things here, and, well, it might be. But I figure two Goofs|are better than one. Two "goofs" all right. Just think!|A whole 'nother year, just you and me. A year? Did he say a year? Tell me|he didn't say a year. I heard a year. Hold me and tell me|he didn't say a year. A year's like...|That's forever. You realize this could|severely affect campus hijink-age. Yeah! And how we gonna|whip those Gammas now? - With your dad's|"practice interruptus"?|- Listen, guys. Cut the old man some slack.|He has to be here. He was fired, and he can't find|a good job without a degree. Fired? Whoa. You mean like|his pink slip was showing? Don't push it, man. Look, I talked to him|and laid out all the ground rules. No interfering with|the "X" Games practice. No hounding us about schoolwork.|No coming into our room unannounced. And no acting|like a father. Especially mine. He's got his life,|I've got my life. "My life. My life." Spooky. - Rise and shine! - School's a-waitin'. What do you say, boys? Dad! Our first class|isn't until noon. Maybe so, but ever day starts with a good breakfast. Ooh! Whoa, whoa! Nowhere to run to, baby Nowhere to hide It's my love|I'm runnin' from It's a heartbreak|I've nowhere to go 'Cause I know|you're no good for me To become part of me - Everywhere I go, every face I see Every step I take|you take by me, yeah - Look at it go!|- No, no, no. Got nowhere|to run to, baby Hey! Huh? - I know you're no good for me|- Oh, lookie! - Nowhere to run, baby Nowhere to hide Hey! Huh, huh? - Huh?|- Hiya, Max. Errr. Goof. So after we compare and|contrast the Age of Enlightenment's... dark period with the Spanish|Inquisition's recessionary trends, we can get a head start|on our trigonorm... Uh, triggy...|Uh, math. Then as a treat,|I'll get us tickets to the Museum... of Natural Arts|and Sciences. - I hear there's a spectacular|leech exhibit.|- Oh. But only if we finish|all our homework. Huh? Where you goin', son? Oh, yeah!|Well, I was just gonna go to... - You know, go to the...|- I have a temporary,|but I never got my permanent. To take you to sign up|for your library card. Dad, all new students|need one. A-Ahem. Good morning, gentlemen.|I am the Head Librarian, versed in all aspects|of your school's library, including, but not limited to,|fiction, nonfiction, periodicals, reference|and policy. - How may I help you?|- Hi there, Miss "Marpole-ee."|Marpole. Marpole! My Dad needs a library card.|Could you... Oh, it would be|my pleasure. We here at the college library|believe that owning a library card... is a privilege,|not a right. Consequently,|we expect students... to treat the Dewey Decimal System|with respect. You'll find these helpful|to your library experience. Well, I'll be! Is that a genuine|mood ring you're wearin'? Well, oh... Yes.|Well, yes it is. I'm a collector of'70s memorabilia|and such. Sort of silly, huh? What, are you kiddin'? This here's a Gilligan's Island|fan club seashell. Get out! Do you remember the one|when the Professor built|a noncombustible engine... out of coconut shells|and sand? Gawrsh, yeah,|little buddy. - Come on! We're supposed to be|practicin' for the "X" Games. I love all that|'70s stuff! - Come on, we're out of here.|- Oh, gosh! Remember the "Boogie Duck"? That was|my all-time favorite! - Quack, quack, quack, quack.|- Ooh-ooh. - Quack, quack, quack, quack.|- Ooh-ooh. Here at the college library|you'll find a most... A-A-Ahem! Miss Marpole! In a library? Really! And now, I actually think|that the Psych Department... will be most refreshing. Well, uh,|I really should be... getting back to work. Say, um, Miss Marpole... Oh, you can call me|Sylvia. Gawrsh! Sylvia.|Ah-yuck. I was just a-wonderin'|if maybe you'd like to... Go out to dinner? Well, then maybe|afterwards, uh... - Go dancing?|- Sure! So, if, uh...|Well, if you're free on... Saturday?|Oh, I'd love to. 7:00? All right. Ah-yuck.|See ya then. You know, Goofy,|you're pretty groovy. Aw, shucks! She said|I'm pretty groovy. Hey, Maxie!|Guess what? Maxie? I got a date. - Yeah!|- Excellent, bro. - I got a date. Ah-yuck!|I got a date. Gotta tell Maxie.|There he is. - Maxie! I got a...|- Huh? - Whoa!|- Let go, Dad! Wow! Waa-hoo-hoo!|Waa-hoo! Whoa! Waa-hoo-hoo!|Waa-hoo! Hey, that guy is good! Isn't that Baby Goof's|old man? - Wowee!|- Gimme that. That sure was a heap of fun.|Now I see why you're so crazy about it. Hey, Maxie, what if|I join your team? We could practice together, and wear|them funny outfits and everything. - It'd be a lot of fun.|- Dad, as fun as that sounds, there are no openings|on my team. Okay? Mr. Goof! Your performance was,|without a doubt, the most breathtaking display|of alternative sport inventiveness... yet to be parallelled|by mankind! Gee! Ah-yuck.|Thanks. Whatever you said. The Gammas, the number one team in|the history of the College "X" Games, have an opening|on our team. And it has got your name|on it, buddy! Be a winner.|Join us. Hey, welcome|to the team. That's real nice of you|to ask, but I'm really only interested|in stayin' close to Maxie. Uh, I'm not sure you understand this|once-in-a-lifetime opportunity. Well, ah-yuck,|I'm not sure you understand... the bond between|a father and his son. Guys, I have a plan. Well, if you change your mind,|here's my card. Gammas,|let's pack it up. - Gawrsh.|- Yeah, get outta here. Listen, Dad,|next to our team... the Gammas are the team,|and they need you more than we do. Oh, yeah, Mr. Goof.|The Gammas are like way hot, man. Besides, we'll all still be|around each other at practices|and events all the time. You'll have oodles of fun! Well, son,|if you say so. Go for it, Dad. Hey, uh, Mr. Uppercrust,|you can count me in. All right, then.|There you go. Gentlemen, please.|Gamma Brother Goofy, let me present you with|your Gamma Mu Mu pledge pin. Gammas, exit. Gamma Brother Goofy! Whoo, yeah! It is you Oh, yeah It is you A crunch to us. I can't believe it.|It worked. We unloaded my dad,|and now we can focus on winning. Let's do it to it! Hey, hi.|I know you. You're that awesome|new skateboarder. Save a dance for me? No problem. You dance? - I gotta see this.|- Oh, wow! Me and a little crumpet like yourself... could make beautiful|bongo music together. Whoa! Easy boy.|You're foggin' up my karma. - Hey, you wanna sit with us?|- Sure. Your cool balances out|his fool. Okay, whatever. Well. If it's all the same,|I, uh, forgot your name. It is endemic of the current culture|that those with large stature... are overlooked,|except by vultures, with no regard|to the depth of their souls, the height of their passion, the beauty|of their moments. O wise Buddha Boy, how could anyone overlook|such a bundle of" yes-ness"? Let's dance. Ha! Guess the Bob-boy's|lost his touch. Hey, what's goin' on? Shake it, shake it|Shake your groove thing Shake your groove thing|Yeah, yeah Show 'em how we do it now Shake your groove thing|Shake your groove thing, yeah, yeah Show 'em how we do it now|Show 'em how we do it now Let's show the world|we can dance Bad enough|to strut my stuff The music gives us|a chance We do more|out on the floor Groovin' loose|or heart-to-heart We put in motion|every single part If the Gammas don't keep my dad out|of our hair, his new girlfriend will. Boogie! Shake your groove thing|Shake your groove thing, yeah, yeah Show 'em how|we do it now Shake your groove thing|Shake your groove thing, yeah, yeah Show 'em how we do it now|Shake your groove thing Oh, you're swingin' with some|pretty cool canines there, Papa-dog. You are queen of the scene,|my little java bean. Yeah, yeah Show 'em how|we do it now There's nothing more|that I'd like to do Than take the floor|and dance with you Keep dancing Let's keep dancing You've got a cute way of talking You've got the better|of me Just snap your fingers|and I'm walking Like the dog|hanging on a leash I'm in the spin|you know Shaking on a string|you know - You make me feel like dancing|- Gonna dance the night away You make me feel|like dancing Gonna dance the night away You make me feel|like dancing I feel like dancing, dancing|Dance the night away I feel like dancing|Dancing Ah Ditty-ditty|dit, dit, de-dit Oh, Goofy, this is the best night|of my life. Mine too! Oh, Sylvia! Ohhh-aah! Oh! Ohh! Ohh! Hey! What... Aah. I'll see you at|the qualifying rounds, freshmen! And after, when you'll be|bringing me my towel, boy! Ahh, this is everything|I dreamed it would be! This place puts the "rage"|in outrageous! No kiddin'!|It buries what we're used to. All right, just remember. There's|nothing here that we can't handle. Oh!|I seriously doubt that. We're gonna eat you alive,|freshmen! Oh, Brad, we're quaking|on our boards. Attention,|would Gamma Team One and Team 99... report to the|street competition platform? Hey, guys, that's us.|Let's do it to it. - Good luck, son!|- Yeah, you too, Dad. Hey-ho and|whaddya you know? Welcome to the Sixth Annual|College "X" Games. The contestants are gonna spin, twist, lunge and plunge|like there's no tomorrow. Today's qualifying rounds will determine|who will compete in the semifinals! And now, let's see what's|happening at our first venue, the skateboarders'|street competition, from our man on the street, Ken Clark! - Welcome, one and all. Today...|- Thank you, Ken! Word on the street|is that there's a new kid in town... who poses a threat|to Bradley Uppercrust the Third. - That's right, Chuck. And his name is...|- Max Goof! Max! Max! Max! Hey, Tank! This is it, man.|Your competition. This is the big one, bro.|Stay focused. Just like|we always do! It's a little insurance, baby,|with no deductible. Crazy idea.|You do the honors, Brother Goof. Me? Gawrsh!|Well... sure! Well, well, what do we have here? Looks like there's been|a last minute substitution. That's right, Chuck.|Skateboarding for the Gammas is... Max Goof's father, Goofy! It's patriarch and son|pitted against each other... in a battle of skill|and dexterity. This is gonna be good. - Whoo-ha-ha!|- Adios, compadre. Not bad. Looping out|with a devil flip to a head butt. - He's up and ready to rip! Looks like Brother Goof|needs a boost. And a huge triple flip|on the quarter pipe. Fifty-fifty slide uphill|to a flip. Wow-hoo! What a lip slide|to a hand-plant! Whoa nelly! Skating with the speed of a cheetah,|that is gonna be time for Goofy. Oh, what a show! That's right, Chuck. Looks like|the new kid in town is no match... for the unbeatable Gammas|and their newest member... Goofy! Let's see what the judges|have to say. Perfect tens across the board! Except for the German judge.|Nine on that one. Wow!|Blown away by his own dad. Hey, quiet!|I'm trying to concentrate here. It's Max's time to skate. And... here he goes! Ooh! Starts out big|with a half cam across the box jump. Ooh! Ahh! Losing his balance|to a knee slide. That is going to hurt his score|unless he does something big! Okay, comin' to the quarter pipe. Tail-grabs to a lip slide|on the rail to... - Oh, that has got to hurt. Come on, Max, get up! He's okay! Let's see if he can end strong. Quick flip into|a one-handed stall. This is a new one.|I have never seen this move, folks! It's back down into the transition.|Sit 360. And... time! Wowee! With barely above|a six-point average, Team 99 just makes it|to the semifinals... by the skin of their teeth! Relax!|It's okay, man. We're in! - Get real!|- Goofy! Goofy! Witness, gentlemen,|victor is ours. And most importantly,|we taught our little freshmen foes... not to mess|with the Gammas. - Goofy! Goofy!|- Maxie! - Goofy! Goofy!|- Hey, Maxie? Maxie! I've been lookin'|all over for you, son. Where you been?|I can't tell you how sorr I am. Save your breath!|You may have won this time, but, Dad... Oh! This campus just isn't|big enough for the both of us. I didn't mean for it|to turn out this way. I was just tryin'|to get closer to ya. Don't you get it?|I'm trying to get away from you! I'm not a little kid anymore! Now just|leave me alone and get your own life! Good morning, people. It would appear that it is time|to start. You may open... Oh, Mr. Goof. - Nice of you to join us today.|- Huh? Oh, yeah.|Right. You may open your envelopes and begin. Let's not have|any wandering eyes. Yah-hoo-hoo-hoo! I notice you don't have|a college degree Whoa! - Get your own life! Huh? - Get your own life!|- Huh? Leave me alone|and get your own life! - Pencils down. I said, pencils down. Wait a minute.|I'm not finished! It's over, Mr. Goof. - Oh, Pete! What am I gonna do now? Oh, look, Goof,|it's no big deal. All that book learning|doesn't prepare you for doodly-squat. It's useless|in the real world. Ha!|All them square roots, and circumnavigating|and circumference and... bah! It's all "garbology."|Lookie here. If you know that four quarters|adds up to a simoleon, you'll survive. Anyone who tells you|anything different... is priming your pump. Take it from me, pal. If you want that diploma, you gotta fix both eyes|on it... like it was this here|horseshoe stake. That's it!|I lost my focus! I gotta get back there|and straighten things out. Focus! Did I miss something? Hey, I know you!|Aren't you... Yeah. Max. Goofy's son!|Ahh! He is rad! Hmm? Do you ever wonder why|we're always like... wearin' gloves? Grande cappuccino.|Make it a double. Hey, Max! - Grande cap, double it.|- Be here now, bro! We thrive on the singularity|of the you that is one... with your selfness. That's just the|new P.J. "speak" for... "Where you been,|buddy?" I've decided this school's|only big enough for one Goof. I'm transferring|outta here. - Excusez-moi moi?|- Wait a minute! Hold it, Max! That means|you can't be on the "X" Games team. Exactly. You don't want me on the team,|anyway. I lost in my best event! Ah, c'mon! Hey, Maxman!|That was a one-time freak-fest. You can beat any|of those losers any day. I've already decided.|I'm outta here. Max, Max, Max.|Admit defeat, and defeat will surely admit you|into permanent custody, my man. If I can't even beat my father, who is probably the most|athletically-challenged man|in the universe, how can you expect me|to beat the other competitors? We're starting in last place|because of me! That never|stopped us before! You wanna give that Gamma geek|Bradley the satisfaction|of knowing he forced us out? Well... no. You wanna let the crowd who once cheered|for you cheer for someone else? - Especially when that someone else|is your old man?|- No! Are you gonna be|someone else's towel boy? No! - Together we can do it!|- You're right! We can still beat 'em!|Let's whip those Gammas! Whoo-hoo-hoo!|Mission: Possible! Let's do it to it! Boys... will be boys. Hmm. Stands me up. Doesn't call me, doesn't apologize, doesn't write to me. He could send me|a little note, something. Hmph. - Sylvia, l... Oh, if you'd let me, l...|- Shh. No talking in the library. Oh, gawrsh, Sylvia. I really care|about ya. Well, gee! If a certain someone|truly cared about another someone, you would think that|the certain someone would show up|for a certain special dinner, or at least apologize|for not showing up, or even call or something! Ohh! You're right.|I'm so sorr. I let my head|get so filled up with fiddle-faddle, that I plumb lost track of everything|that's important to me. - Counting you!|- Oh! Can you ever forgive me? Oh, how can I|not forgive you? Oh, Sylvia, I gotta get my grades up,|and quit those dumb ol' Gammas. - And most important...|- Shh. And most important, get my son back. Well, what|are we waiting for? - I've got a yearnin'|for some learnin'. Ah-yuck!|- Ah-yuck! Huh? Sylvia? Ooh, ooh, ooh-ooh Come on,|you can do it. - I don't wanna lose this good thing|- Go, go! You're everything I've got If I do|I would surely Surely lose a lot 'Cause your love|is better Than any other I know It's like thunder|Lightning - The way you love me is frightening|- Let's do it! You better knock on wood Baby Ooh, ooh, ooh-ooh You better knock|on wood Oh!|Oh, you did it! You did it!|Look! All A's. - Whoa? Oh, I am just so proud|of you, Goofy. Let's go celebrate. Oh, you know I'd love to, but I got a few more things|to take care of. So, you see,|I have to quit the team. - Excuse me?|- You what? - No way!|- What is he talking about, huh? Just what makes you think|you can change your mind... on the last day|of the competition? Should I knock some sense|into his big melon? Whoa, whoa.|Down, Tank. Easy, boy. If you're thinking you're|quitting the Gammas to join|that freshman geek son of yours, you've got|another thing comin'. Bull's-eye, baby. Dog-boy's in trouble,|and Daddy's gonna bail him out. No, sirree, sir! Ah! Got my bunion! I'm not gonna be|on anyone's team. Smart man.|But you forgot one thing. Nobody... I repeat...|Nobody quits the Gammas! If you were such darn winners before,|you'll be just fine without me. - I'm leavin' the Gammas,|and that's that.|- You're not leaving the Gammas. Wow-ow! - The Gammas are leaving you!|- Sayonara. - Yeah! Hasta la vista, baby! Gee! I think they're|a little sore at me. Whoops! Better return my Gamma pin. We'll win how we always win.|And how's that, Gammas? - Skill?|- Good looks? No, you dense dopes!|We'll cheat! Cheat! Cheat! Just like we did last time,|sweetheart. That was a great cheat. But now|I have a better plan. I gotta warn Maxie! This is it, guys. - Championship time. Oh, hiya, fellers. Oh, heh-heh,|hi, Mr. Goof. Gee, Max, I know|you're still sore at me, but I came to warn you... - that the Gammas|have been cheatin' all along.|- Oh, yeah! Did Bradley tell you|to say that? Stop wasting my time, Dad.|I gotta stay focused. Ooh, good luck, son. Ohh, ladies and gentlemen! Put on your seat belts|and hold on to your hats. Oh, my! It's time for the high-flying,|gravity-defying, no-time-for-crying... College "X" Games! Let's get vertical! All righty now. We'll begin with the eight qualifying|teams in a semifinal round... until we're down|to the two best teams. Then they'll be fightin'|for first place... and the College "X" Games|championship! That's right, Chuck. In the semifinals|we'll see rock climbing, luge runs,|and much more! Won't... that be fun! The leading team to beat,|as always, is the Gammas! Their three competitors are.|Bradley Uppercrust the Third, Tank and Slouch! - What happened to Goofy?|- We want Goofy! What do you know, Chuck!|Looks like Goofy's a no-show. What happened to Goof, man? Hey, Brad,|what'd you do with my dad? He didn't make the cut.|He was never Gamma material. Let's go down|to the semifinal round... which begins|with the rock climb. What the... - Yeah! Yeah! Whoo-whoo! Yes! Huh? - Whoa! Yea! The semifinals have resulted|in just Team One and Team 99... going head-to-head|in the finals. The grueling competition|has really taken its toll... on the athletes|this afternoon. Let's strap in for our final and|deciding event: The "X" Games triathlon. Yes, we're seconds away from what|promises to be an exciting finale... between these|two fierce competitors. Take your positions. On your mark,|get set... False start! False start! Both teams back on the line.|Get back here. Hold on! Bradley just blasted|our third guy into the next state. That is absurd!|I did nothing of the sort! That's what my dad|has been trying to tell me. Can we get on|with the race, please? Wait a minute.|Uh, one, two. You don't seem to have|enough team members now. - Do you?|- Rules are rules. You have to field a full team,|or you forfeit to the Gammas. That's unfair!|We don't know anyone else. Oh, seems we have|a little delay here, folks. Team 99's short a man and will be|disqualified if one is not found... in just one|and one half minutes. Dad, it's me, Max.|If you're out there... Oh, my gosh.|Maxie's in trouble! Dad, relax, I'm not in trouble. It's|just the team needs you. I need you. You hear that?|I gotta go help him! Good thing I always carry|my lucky horseshoe. I'm a-comin', Maxie! Whoo-hoo-hoo!|Whoa! Aaah! Well, I wouldn't blame him if he didn't come. That's it! They're disqualified. Nope, nope, nope. Not yet.|There's still five more seconds. Four, three, two... - Ah-yuck! Come on, no fair!|He's too late! Not by my watch. Son, about the last couple of weeks... Dad, what do ya say|we take care of this race first? You got it! Take your positions. On your mark! Get set! Gammas lead|as they head out of the stadium. - Operation Grandma up ahead.|- Goody, goody. Uh-oh! There's pedestrians|on the course! Gawrsh!|Sorr, ma'am. Wink-wink. Operation Hay Bale. Isn't that Mickey Mouse|over there? - Mickey Mouse? Where?|- He's over there. Team 99 cruising along. Holy moly!|What is this? Looks like a little street-skating detour. Side by side, sole grinds|all the way down the ledge. And Team 99 has regained the lead! The whip, Tank! Seven-ten split,|gutter boy! Team Gamma blows right by the freshmen. The racers are approaching|the start of the bicycle leg. Gamma still holding its lead. Off with the skates,|and on to the bikes! And both teams are blasting|through the rhythm section... with a whole lot of style. The freshmen are right|on Team Gamma's tail. Oh, look out! Bobby seems|to have sailed off the course. What a bummer for Bobby. Bobby, you all right? Keep goin', Max! It is really heating up now, folks, as both teams are approaching|the huge quarter pipe... to start the final leg|of the event. Right away, Team Gamma|starts working the course... with Team 99 nippin'|at their heals! - They're moving off the ramp, and...|- And onto the Zipper. Huh? Whoa-whoa!|Yah-hoo-hoo-hoo! Tank, take him out! I will not be ignored. Nobody finishes this race|but me! Maxie! It's about stayin' focused|on your goal! What the...|Ohhh! Oh, say it ain't so! No! I'm a-comin',|Maxie! It's lookin' bad and it's not|gonna get prettier, folks. Help! Bradley! Gammas, help me! Anyone! 911, baby! Tank, talk to me, man. Over here, man. Dog-boy, am I glad to see you, sweetheart. Max, where are you? Where are you, Max? Maxie! Oof! Dad, help me lift this beam off of Tank. Come on! We're about to be Baked Alaska here. Ladies and gentlemen,|it looks like it's all over. Wait a minute. I can't believe my eyes, folks. - They are alive!|- Huh? Go for it, son. That's some kid|you got there. You're wrong, Tank. He's not a kid anymore. Oh, Team 99 is still in this race! Max Goof is making up the distance. He is taking the lead! Bradley's battling back|as they come to the finish line. Team 99 wins!|Oh, I am stunned, folks! I just can't...|I can't believe... I can't even finish|my sentences. Oh, my!|What a day! Ah-yuck! Congratulations, son! Congratulations, Max. I haven't forgotten|our agreement. The bet's off, Bradley. But I think|you owe him something. Brad! Hi, it's me,|the guy ya let down. Hey, Tank, baby! Who loves ya, baby, huh? You're goin' down like|a four-cent pair of socks. You and me, baby, all the way! Oh! A vacancy|at the Gamma house. Takin' applications. Okay, okay, let go of me,|you big fat jerk! Time to get|on the last jet to nowhere! No, it doesn't look good now. It's like I'm in a bad dream, and it just won't quit. That's right, Chuck. Congratulations, Dad.|Here. Gawrsh, son,|what's this? You gotta open it|to find out. But... this is yours. No, Dad. This is for you.|Read the inscription. "I might not be|your little boy anymore, but I'll always be|your son." Okay, okay, "hugfesters." Free eats|back at the dorm-a! Pizza! Double cheese-a! Mmm-mmm.|Scrumptious! - Come on, Dad. Let's feast. Sorr, son, but|I kinda got plans of my own. I'm really gonna miss you. Sure, it was rough for us|at the start, but, well, it turned out to be a pretty|cool thing, you here at college with me. But now it's over and we'll go on|with our own lives and... - You didn't tell him yet?|- Didn't tell me what? I wanted|to surprise him. Son, guess what!|I got me a job here on campus. But you... - So I could be close to you!|- But I thought you were... - You told me you were gonna...|- Just kidding. He is so goofy. - What do you say we go for...|- A picnic? Ah-yuck. Then maybe even a... Walk on the beach? I'd love to. You know, somehow I knew you would. Ah-yuck!
- Max: Do you realize going off to college means no more well meaning, but totally smothering, overprotective, doting, a-hyuck-ing dads?
- P.J.: Yeah, well... yours, at least. My dad's been counting down the days until he can turn my room into a bowling alley
- Goofy: Gawrsh, Pete. One day, you're changing their diapers, and the next thing you know... they're all grown up and leaving for college.
- Pete: Well, Goof, the way I see it, it's my last day of babysittin' and I'm a free man! Oh, yeah! [laughing] Free, free, free I tell ya! [laughing] Come on, son! I can't miss ya if you don't leave! [laughing harder]
- P.J.: [giving directions to the college] Okay dude, uh, south. No wait, that's uh... I dunno, man, do I look like Magellan?
- Max: P.J., you couldn't even spell Magellan.
- P.J.: Try hanging a Louie. Nononono, wait, that's the other Louie.
- Max: Louie, Huey, Dewey, what are you talking about here?
- Bobby: [pointing to the map] Yo, it's right here; this way.
- Max: Yeah P.J., Bobby's right. Uh, hey, Bob, um... Who's driving?
- Goofy's Boss: Goofy! I warned you! You're... FIRED!!!!!!!!!!!
- Max: Gentlemen, I welcome you to the first day of the rest of our lives.
- Bobby: Wow. That's pretty deep. Did you get that off a bumper sticker?
- Bobby: [speaking with a phony French accent] Me and a little crumpet like yourself could make beautiful bongo music together.
- Beret Girl: Whoa, easy boy. You're fogging up my karma.
- Max: Hey, you wanna sit with us?
- Beret Girl: Sure. Your cool balances out [snaps fingers] his fool.
- Bobby: Okay, whatever...
- P.J.: It is endemic of the current culture that those with large stature are overlooked-except by vultures-with no regard to the depth of their souls, the height of their passion, the beauty of their moments.
- Beret Girl: Oh, wise Buddha boy. How could anyone overlook such a bundle of yes-ness? Let's dance. [yanks P.J. out onto the dance floor by the arm]
- Max: We've started in last place because of me!
- Bobby: That's never stopped us before! You want to give that Gamma geek Bradley the satisfaction of knowing he forced us out?
- Max: Well... no...
- Bobby: You want to let the crowd who once cheered for you cheer for someone else? Especially when that someone else is your old man?!
- Max: No!
- Bobby: Are you gonna be someone else's towel boy?!
- Max: NO!
- Beret Girl: [after Max, P.J. and Bobby leave excitedly] Boys... will be boys.
- Pete: Oh, look, Goof, it's no big deal. All that book learning doesn't prepare you for doodly-squat. It's useless in the real world. Ha! All them square roots, and circumnavigating and circumference and... bah! It's all "garbology." Lookie here. If you know that four quarters adds up to a simoleon, you'll survive.
- Goofy: Oh, Sylvia, I... oh, if you'll let me I...
- Sylvia: Shh! No talking in the library.
- Goofy: Oh, gawrsh, Sylvia. I really care about you.
- Sylvia: Well gee. If a certain someone truly cared about another someone, you would think that the certain someone would show up for a certain special dinner, or at least apologize for not showing up, or even call or... something!
- Goofy: Oh, you're right. I'm so sorry. I let my head get so filled up with fiddle-faddle that I plumb lost track of everything that’s important to me - countin’ you. Can you ever forgive me?
- Sylvia: [After a moment] Oh, how can I not forgive you?
- Teacher: Pencils down. I said... pencils down.
- Goofy: [failing the test] Wait a minute! I'm not finished! I've got--
- Teacher: IT'S ...over, Mr. Goof.
[Goofy re-enters to the Gamma house to return his Gamma pin and overhears the Gammas talking]
- Bradley: We'll win how we always win. And how's that, Gammas?
- Tank: Skill?
- Gamma: Eh, good looks?
- Bradley: No, you dense dolts. We cheat.
- [Goofy is shocked]
- Gammas: CHEAT! CHEAT! CHEAT!
- Tank: Just like we did last time, sweetheart.
- Bradley: And that was a great cheat. But now...[sinister] I have a much better plan.
- Goofy: [quietly] I gotta warn Maxie!
- Max: Hey, Brad! What did you do with my dad?
- Bradley: He didn't make the cut. See, he was never Gamma material.
[Bradley blasts rockets on PJ's roller-skates sending PJ flying into the air]
- Referre: False start! False start! Both teams back on the line. Get back here.
[Max sneers at the chuckling Gammas]
- Max: Wait! Hold on! Bradley just blasted our third guy into the next state!
- Bradley: Why, that is absurd. I did nothing of the sort.
- Max: [groans] That's what my dad has been trying to tell me!
[Bradley blasted Max and Tank into the X-Games wire and fabric logo]
- Tank: [coughing] Help! [coughing] Bradley! [coughing] Gammas, help me! [coughing] Anyone! 9-1-1, baby!
- Max: [coughing] Tank, talk to me, man!
- Tank: Over here, man! Dogboy! Am I glad to see you, sweetheart.
- Goofy: Max, where are you? Where are you, Max? Maxie! [slips on Max's skateboard]
- Max: Dad, help me lift this beam off of Tank! [Goofy gets up and starts to lift the beam up just as the burning debris is about to fall]
- Tank: Come on! We're about to be baked Alaska here!
- Tank: That's some kid you got there.
- Goofy: [smiling] You're wrong, Tank. He's not a kid anymore.
- Bradley: Congratulations, Max. I haven't forgotten our agreement.
- Max: The bet's off, Bradley. [points to Tank] But I think you owe him something.
- Tank: Brad! Hi. It's me, the guy you let down.
- Bradley: [nervously] Hey, Tank! Baby! Who loves ya, baby? Huh?
- Tank: [growls] You're goin' down like a four-set pair of socks.
- Bradley: You and me, baby! All the way!
[He tries to run, but Tank grabs hold of him and uses him like a slingshot]
- Tank: Oh, a vacancy at the Gamma house. Takin' applications.
- Bradley: Okay, okay! Let go of me, you big, fat jerk!
- Tank: Time to get on the last jet... to nowhere! [fires Bradley towards the X-Games blimp flying overhead]
[Goofy unwraps his present from Max revealing to be his X Games trophy]
- Goofy: But... this is yours.
- Max: No, Dad. This is for you. Read the inscription.
- Goofy: [reading the back of the trophy] "I might not be your little boy anymore, but I'll always be your son."
[Goofy and Max embrace]
Max: He is so goofy.