Hmm, hmm, hmm Ohh! Ugh! - Ohh! Ohh! Ow! Wow-hoo!|Yah-hoo-hoo-hoo-ee! Yah! Whoo! Yeah, dude! Bobby, do that again,|but this time don't fall down. - Aah!|- Whoo-hoo-wow! Huh? Do you realize going off|to college means no more... well-meaning but totally smothering,|overprotective, doting, ah-yucking dads? Yeah, well,|yours at least. My dad's been counting down|the days until he can turn|my bedroom into a bowling alley. Hey, we have a surefire way|to shoot straight to the top|of the freshman heap. The College "X" Games! First freshman team|to win it all! First team to boot those|number one Gammas on their boot-tays! Huh! The Gammas|may be five-time winners, but I hope they're ready|for a losing streak! Let's beat the Gammas!|Let's do it to it! Woo-woo-woo-woo! Gawrsh, Pete, one day|you're changin' their diapers, and the next thing|you know... they're all grown up|and leavin' for college. Well, Goof,|the way I see it, it's my last night of baby-sitting,|and I'm a free man! Oh, yeah! Ha-ha!|Free, free, free, I tell you! Yah-hoo! Ha-ha!|Come on, son. I can't miss you|if you won't leave! - Ah-ha-ha-ha-ha!|- Yeah, free. Hey, why don't you get the boys?|Food's almost ready. It's time to sere|these little babies now. Ha-ha-ooh! Nice rasta, pasta,|Maxman. Ooh, Maxie's pretty good|at that boardin' stuff. He is totally gonna kill|at college. Huh? - Yeah! Yes! Listen, son, that there|"X" Games fiddle-faddle... may be all well and fun, but remember, you're going off to|college to make something of yourselves. - Exactly.|- You'll get a degree, and the world|will be your clam. Uh, oyster, Dad? No, thanks.|I'm saving room for weenies. Now, let me show you|exactly what I mean. Oh, no, not|the old horseshoe lecture. You see, tossin' horseshoes|is a lot like how life works. Sorr, Pete. Uh, like I was sayin'... It's about|staying focused on your goals. Right. You see,|ever once in a while... life gives you an important|tossin' opportunity. Like, uh, well...|college, for instance! If you want|that dee-ploma, you gotta fix both eyes on it|like it was this here horseshoe stake. And with the proper|"consecration"... and follow-through, Throw it, will ya! You should hear the clang|of a ringer! Yah-hoo-hoo-hoo!|A ringer! See, Maxie?|You've just gotta stay focused. - Huh?|- Hey, Goof, - it's gettin' cold already. Save a weenie for me! Hey, Peej, isn't ten hot dogs enough?|Pass 'em over here. Ooh, I can't wait|to get out of here. Here, let me|help you pack. Dad, I can do that. I sure hope so. I'm not gonna be there|at college to pick up after you. In fact,|it's gonna be a long time... before you see|your old man again. What, maybe Christmas? Ah, Dad,|it'll go by fast. Not too fast, I hope. It's time to take charge,|live your own life. You're a grown man now,|Maxie-Poo. I'm not takin' ol' Stuffed Bear|to college, Dad! - Sure you are.|- No. What are you talkin' about?|You love Stuffed Bear. - Come on. You're gonna need him.|- I'm not kidding! - No! Well, then, I got somethin' else|for you. - Son, I want you to have this. Oh! It weighs|like a ton! I bet it's one of those combo|TV/CD/VCR/Laptop/Scanner/Fax|things, right? Oh, man,|they are so cool! - Too stunned to speak, huh?|- No, just stunned. What is it? This was my father's. And now, son,|it's yours. Thanks, Dad.|This means a lot to me. Oh, listen,|I'm gonna turn in. You know, big day tomorrow. - Good night, Dad.|- Good night, son. Ah-yuck. Ah-yuck. Did you brush your teeth? Yeah, Dad. - Comb your hair?|- Yep. - Did you put on clean underwear?|- Dad! - Come on, Max!|- Oop! Gotta go! But, Max... Ooh! - Goin' already?|- Gotta get there early for|freshman orientation. See ya. What about breakfast? - You need your three squares|a day, you know.|- Don't worr. We'll pick up donuts on the way.|Love ya! Miss ya!|See you at Christmas! Bye! Don't forget to have some milk|with those... donuts. Don't forget to have some milk|with those... donuts. Good-bye,|my little college man. - Gawrsh. Doot-doot-doot-doot Doot-doot-doot Okay, dude, south. Un, no, wait. I mean... I don't know,|man. Do I look like Magellan? - P.J., you couldn't spell Magellan.|- Tr hangin' a Louie. No, no. Wait.|That's the other Louie. Louie, Huey, Dewey?|What're you talkin' about? Yo, it's right here.|This way. Yeah, Peej,|Bobby's right. Hey, Bob, um,|who's drivin'? Aaah! Check it out! Gentlemen, I welcome you|to the first day... of the rest|of our lives. Wow.|That's pretty deep. Did you get that off a bumper sticker? Yo. I spy the Gamma house,|which means... that dude right there|is the one, the only... Bradley Uppercrust the Third! Whoa!|The College "X" Games king! Yeah, until we take the crown. Let's play ball, Dad. Max. - Hiya, Dad.|- Maxie. Mr. Goof!|An assembly line is for assembling. Stop daydreaming|and get back to work... or else! Oh-oh-oh-oh!|Ohh! Wah! Oh, no!|Look out! Yah-hoo-hoo-hoo! Ooh! Ooh! Goofy! I warned you! You're fired! Huh? Oh. Wow! Great air, Max-a-million!|Ha-ha-ha-ha-hah! Maxie! Yeah! - Look at that guy go. Oh, my gosh!|- I can't look at anything else. Whoa! Did you see that? Well, well, well. Look what the freshman cat|dragged in, baby. Some new meat. Hey, easy, big fella.|That new meat looks like Gamma material. Let's check him out.|Gammas, roll! Ugh!|Ta-da Check it out. Look who's|following us. Let's just make sure it stays that way. Grande cap, extra foamy, hold the whip,|cinnamon dust, biscotti side. - Iced double-tall, percent cap.|We have any scones?|- We got two. You guys grab a table,|I'll grab the java. Life. Life is like a lime. Hmm.|It's tart and tangy. Sweet.|Ooh, so sublime. Quiet, speechless like a mime. Bold and noisy|like a crime. - Don't you dare waste my time,|'cause life can stop... - Don't you dare waste my time,|'cause life can stop... On a dime. Bravo! Bravo! Encore! Author,|Arthur Miller! Suddenly|I'm feelin' dizzy... with emotion. Check it out, Bradley.|He's over there. I'm gonna go give him|a Gamma welcome. - Ahh!|- Ooh. I'm sorr, I, l... No, no, no. No.|It's, uh, all right, really. I'd wager that|if you were on a skateboard,|you wouldn't have spilled a drop. You'd win that bet. It's my best event.|Hi. I'm Max. Bradley.|Bradley Uppercrust the Third. - Ah, yes, my right-hand man,|Gamma Brother Tank. The pleasure's all mine,|baby. Welcome aboard, little tyke.|You're class, the high kind. Max, we have won ever|College "X" Games competition... since the beginning. And we have decided to make you|our first draft pick. Lucky you, huh?|What do you think of that? No way.|You want us to be Gammas? Ha! You guys,|you hear that? - We're gonna be part...|- Hold on, pal. This reservation's|only for one. Oh, well, I'm sorr, but P.J.,|Bobby and I are in this together. It's all of us,|or none of me. Max, Max, Max. You don't wanna be weighed down|by those clowns, do you? I thought you wanted|to win. Well, that's just what|we're going to do. Ha! Like you'll find any better|competitors than my teammates. They're the real deal.|Serious athletes. Check it.|Uh-huh. - The Dynamic Dorks. Come on. The only thing|you three could win... is a loser contest,|baby. Wow, nice trick. Do they go fetch|and play dead too? Why, yes.|As a matter of fact they do. Gammas, fetch. Uh-oh.|This can't be good. - Back off, man. I've got a biscotti,|and I'm not afraid to use it. All right, quit toying|with my emotions. I thought|we were friends. See, I'm giving you the opportunity|to join the Gamma Mu Mu Fraternity. Mu, Mu! Who wants to join a herd of cows? - Tank?|- Now, pray tell, sweetheart. Would Mr. Uppercrust like a little power|wedgie for your viewing pleasure? Hey, leave him alone!|Huh? Bobby! Hey, don't worr, bro. I'm a yellow belt. Eee-ya! Eee-ya! Hey, Daddy-os. This is a real L-7 scene. Let's all take a trip down the road|of forgiveness and compassion. Ooh, passion. I like your style, Little Miss|Mochachino, but I'm busy right now. Well, I'm dizzy right now|from watching your downward spiral. Ah, why don't you go off|and save some whales or something? Ha! Oh, you slay me, Tiger. You are the fly in my soup.|You are the eyelash in my eye. You are so busy blowing out bad vibes|in ever direction, that we are all choking on your|secondhand smoke. Errr! Knock it off! What's wrong, Brad? Don't you dare|call me that! Yeah. Don't forget,|he's the king, buster. Yeah, well, we'll dethrone you|and the Gammas, your royal lowness. Huh. You'll be lucky|to be my towel boy. Why don't we just make|a little wager on that? Loser of the finals|will be towel boy to the other. You got a deal. Be ready to wipe the dirt|off my shoes, freshman. Gammas, out! - Don't let the door hit ya.|- Later. Now, that's the first time|I ever saw the trash... take itself out. You've got the beat,|boys. Well, you invented it,|girl. You let your fingers|do the talkin'. Right. Next! Well, Mr. Goof, I notice you don't have|a college degree. Well, I did complete|three years, but... Look, doll, I'm afraid|we can only get jobs... for people who have|college degrees. So, what do you need? What is "a degree"? Bingo! We have a winner. Oh, what's a Goof to do? Well, doll...|Uh, Mr. Goof, the answer to your problem|is simple. The only way to build your career|is to go back to college. College? Me? I was there in the '70s.|I'm too old for that now. Come on, doll. You're never too old|to learn a new trick. "We who are godlike now|were once a mass... - Of quivering purple|flecked with bars of gold. Insentient!|Full of joy or miser, and tossed in|terrible tangles... - Mommy, I didn't do it!|- Of some wild... - and windswept..." Hi, everbody! I'm just a yearnin'|for some learnin'. Who is this goon? Right on, brother!|Ah-yuck! - Hey, Max, is my vision blurred...|- Oh, no. Oh, no. Or does that guy|look like your dad? - Maxie!|- Kill me. Just kill me now! Hey, Maxie, looks like you and me|are gonna be classmates. Ah-yuck.|He's my son. Daddy's little baby|couldn't be alone? Nooo! So I got fired.|Guess I lost my focus. Ah, Dad, I'm so sorr|to hear that. Well, look, if you're here to stay,|I think we need to... Focus more.|You're absolutely right. Now that I'm with ya, I won't be|distracted no more. No, sirree. I'm gonna get me|that college degree... Whoa! - What a bonehead!|- What a loser. Dad,|what I was saying... is that we need to establish|some ground rules. Well, sure.|Whatever you say, Maxie. First thing,|lose the wig. But I need to look|hip and groovy for college. Dad, you're scaring people. I know you're worried it might be hard|to get into the swing of things here, and, well, it might be. But I figure two Goofs|are better than one. Two "goofs" all right. Just think!|A whole 'nother year, just you and me. A year? Did he say a year? Tell me|he didn't say a year. I heard a year. Hold me and tell me|he didn't say a year. A year's like...|That's forever. You realize this could|severely affect campus hijink-age. Yeah! And how we gonna|whip those Gammas now? - With your dad's|"practice interruptus"?|- Listen, guys. Cut the old man some slack.|He has to be here. He was fired, and he can't find|a good job without a degree. Fired? Whoa. You mean like|his pink slip was showing? Don't push it, man. Look, I talked to him|and laid out all the ground rules. No interfering with|the "X" Games practice. No hounding us about schoolwork.|No coming into our room unannounced. And no acting|like a father. Especially mine. He's got his life,|I've got my life. "My life. My life." Spooky. - Rise and shine! - School's a-waitin'. What do you say, boys? Dad! Our first class|isn't until noon. Maybe so, but ever day|starts with a good breakfast. Ooh! Whoa, whoa! Nowhere to run to, baby Nowhere to hide It's my love|I'm runnin' from It's a heartbreak|I've nowhere to go 'Cause I know|you're no good for me To become part of me - Everywhere I go, every face I see Every step I take|you take by me, yeah - Look at it go!|- No, no, no. Got nowhere|to run to, baby Hey! Huh? - I know you're no good for me|- Oh, lookie! - Nowhere to run, baby Nowhere to hide Hey! Huh, huh? - Huh?|- Hiya, Max. Errr. Goof. So after we compare and|contrast the Age of Enlightenment's... dark period with the Spanish|Inquisition's recessionary trends, we can get a head start|on our trigonorm... Uh, triggy...|Uh, math. Then as a treat,|I'll get us tickets to the Museum... of Natural Arts|and Sciences. - I hear there's a spectacular|leech exhibit.|- Oh. But only if we finish|all our homework. Huh? Where you goin', son? Oh, yeah!|Well, I was just gonna go to... - You know, go to the...|- I have a temporary,|but I never got my permanent. To take you to sign up|for your library card. Dad, all new students|need one. A-Ahem. Good morning, gentlemen.|I am the Head Librarian, versed in all aspects|of your school's library, including, but not limited to,|fiction, nonfiction, periodicals, reference|and policy. - How may I help you?|- Hi there, Miss "Marpole-ee."|Marpole. Marpole! My Dad needs a library card.|Could you... Oh, it would be|my pleasure. We here at the college library|believe that owning a library card... is a privilege,|not a right. Consequently,|we expect students... to treat the Dewey Decimal System|with respect. You'll find these helpful|to your library experience. Well, I'll be! Is that a genuine|mood ring you're wearin'? Well, oh... Yes.|Well, yes it is. I'm a collector of'70s memorabilia|and such. Sort of silly, huh? What, are you kiddin'? This here's a Gilligan's Island|fan club seashell. Get out! Do you remember the one|when the Professor built|a noncombustible engine... out of coconut shells|and sand? Gawrsh, yeah,|little buddy. - Come on! We're supposed to be|practicin' for the "X" Games. I love all that|'70s stuff! - Come on, we're out of here.|- Oh, gosh! Remember the "Boogie Duck"? That was|my all-time favorite! - Quack, quack, quack, quack.|- Ooh-ooh. - Quack, quack, quack, quack.|- Ooh-ooh. Here at the college library|you'll find a most... A-A-Ahem! Miss Marpole! In a library? Really! And now, I actually think|that the Psych Department... will be most refreshing. Well, uh,|I really should be... getting back to work. Say, um, Miss Marpole... Oh, you can call me|Sylvia. Gawrsh! Sylvia.|Ah-yuck. I was just a-wonderin'|if maybe you'd like to... Go out to dinner? Well, then maybe|afterwards, uh... - Go dancing?|- Sure! So, if, uh...|Well, if you're free on... Saturday?|Oh, I'd love to. 7:00? All right. Ah-yuck.|See ya then. You know, Goofy,|you're pretty groovy. Aw, shucks! She said|I'm pretty groovy. Hey, Maxie!|Guess what? Maxie? I got a date. - Yeah!|- Excellent, bro. - I got a date. Ah-yuck!|I got a date. Gotta tell Maxie.|There he is. - Maxie! I got a...|- Huh? - Whoa!|- Let go, Dad! Wow! Waa-hoo-hoo!|Waa-hoo! Whoa! Waa-hoo-hoo!|Waa-hoo! Hey, that guy is good! Isn't that Baby Goof's|old man? - Wowee!|- Gimme that. That sure was a heap of fun.|Now I see why you're so crazy about it. Hey, Maxie, what if|I join your team? We could practice together, and wear|them funny outfits and everything. - It'd be a lot of fun.|- Dad, as fun as that sounds, there are no openings|on my team. Okay? Mr. Goof! Your performance was,|without a doubt, the most breathtaking display|of alternative sport inventiveness... yet to be parallelled|by mankind! Gee! Ah-yuck.|Thanks. Whatever you said. The Gammas, the number one team in|the history of the College "X" Games, have an opening|on our team. And it has got your name|on it, buddy! Be a winner.|Join us. Hey, welcome|to the team. That's real nice of you|to ask, but I'm really only interested|in stayin' close to Maxie. Uh, I'm not sure you understand this|once-in-a-lifetime opportunity. Well, ah-yuck,|I'm not sure you understand... the bond between|a father and his son. Guys, I have a plan. Well, if you change your mind,|here's my card. Gammas,|let's pack it up. - Gawrsh.|- Yeah, get outta here. Listen, Dad,|next to our team... the Gammas are the team,|and they need you more than we do. Oh, yeah, Mr. Goof.|The Gammas are like way hot, man. Besides, we'll all still be|around each other at practices|and events all the time. You'll have oodles of fun! Well, son,|if you say so. Go for it, Dad. Hey, uh, Mr. Uppercrust,|you can count me in. All right, then.|There you go. Gentlemen, please.|Gamma Brother Goofy, let me present you with|your Gamma Mu Mu pledge pin. Gammas, exit. Gamma Brother Goofy! Whoo, yeah! It is you Oh, yeah It is you A crunch to us. I can't believe it.|It worked. We unloaded my dad,|and now we can focus on winning. Let's do it to it! Hey, hi.|I know you. You're that awesome|new skateboarder. Save a dance for me? No problem. You dance? - I gotta see this.|- Oh, wow! Me and a little crumpet like yourself... could make beautiful|bongo music together. Whoa! Easy boy.|You're foggin' up my karma. - Hey, you wanna sit with us?|- Sure. Your cool balances out|his fool. Okay, whatever. Well. If it's all the same,|I, uh, forgot your name. It is endemic of the current culture|that those with large stature... are overlooked,|except by vultures, with no regard|to the depth of their souls, the height of their passion, the beauty|of their moments. O wise Buddha Boy, how could anyone overlook|such a bundle of" yes-ness"? Let's dance. Ha! Guess the Bob-boy's|lost his touch. Hey, what's goin' on? Shake it, shake it|Shake your groove thing Shake your groove thing|Yeah, yeah Show 'em how we do it now Shake your groove thing|Shake your groove thing, yeah, yeah Show 'em how we do it now|Show 'em how we do it now Let's show the world|we can dance Bad enough|to strut my stuff The music gives us|a chance We do more|out on the floor Groovin' loose|or heart-to-heart We put in motion|every single part If the Gammas don't keep my dad out|of our hair, his new girlfriend will. Boogie! Shake your groove thing|Shake your groove thing, yeah, yeah Show 'em how|we do it now Shake your groove thing|Shake your groove thing, yeah, yeah Show 'em how we do it now|Shake your groove thing Oh, you're swingin' with some|pretty cool canines there, Papa-dog. You are queen of the scene,|my little java bean. Yeah, yeah Show 'em how|we do it now There's nothing more|that I'd like to do Than take the floor|and dance with you Keep dancing Let's keep dancing You've got a cute way of talking You've got the better|of me Just snap your fingers|and I'm walking Like the dog|hanging on a leash I'm in the spin|you know Shaking on a string|you know - You make me feel like dancing|- Gonna dance the night away You make me feel|like dancing Gonna dance the night away You make me feel|like dancing I feel like dancing, dancing|Dance the night away I feel like dancing|Dancing Ah Ditty-ditty|dit, dit, de-dit Oh, Goofy, this is the best night|of my life. Mine too! Oh, Sylvia! Ohhh-aah! Oh! Ohh! Ohh! Hey! What... Aah. I'll see you at|the qualifying rounds, freshmen! And after, when you'll be|bringing me my towel, boy! Ahh, this is everything|I dreamed it would be! This place puts the "rage"|in outrageous! No kiddin'!|It buries what we're used to. All right, just remember. There's|nothing here that we can't handle. Oh!|I seriously doubt that. We're gonna eat you alive,|freshmen! Oh, Brad, we're quaking|on our boards. Attention,|would Gamma Team One and Team 99... report to the|street competition platform? Hey, guys, that's us.|Let's do it to it. - Good luck, son!|- Yeah, you too, Dad. Hey-ho and|whaddya you know? Welcome to the Sixth Annual|College "X" Games. The contestants are gonna spin, twist, lunge and plunge|like there's no tomorrow. Today's qualifying rounds will determine|who will compete in the semifinals! And now, let's see what's|happening at our first venue, the skateboarders'|street competition, from our man on the street,|Ken Clark! - Welcome, one and all. Today...|- Thank you, Ken! Word on the street|is that there's a new kid in town... who poses a threat|to Bradley Uppercrust the Third. - That's right, Chuck. And his name is...|- Max Goof! Max! Max! Max! Hey, Tank! This is it, man.|Your competition. This is the big one, bro.|Stay focused. Just like|we always do! It's a little insurance, baby,|with no deductible. Crazy idea.|You do the honors, Brother Goof. Me? Gawrsh!|Well... sure! Well, well, what do we have here? Looks like there's been|a last minute substitution. That's right, Chuck.|Skateboarding for the Gammas is... Max Goof's father, Goofy! It's patriarch and son|pitted against each other... in a battle of skill|and dexterity. This is gonna be good. - Whoo-ha-ha!|- Adios, compadre. Not bad. Looping out|with a devil flip to a head butt. - He's up and ready to rip! Looks like Brother Goof|needs a boost. And a huge triple flip|on the quarter pipe. Fifty-fifty slide uphill|to a flip. Wow-hoo! What a lip slide|to a hand-plant! Whoa nelly! Skating with the speed of a cheetah,|that is gonna be time for Goofy. Oh, what a show! That's right, Chuck. Looks like|the new kid in town is no match... for the unbeatable Gammas|and their newest member... Goofy! Let's see what the judges|have to say. Perfect tens across the board! Except for the German judge.|Nine on that one. Wow!|Blown away by his own dad. Hey, quiet!|I'm trying to concentrate here. It's Max's time to skate. And... here he goes! Ooh! Starts out big|with a half cam across the box jump. Ooh! Ahh! Losing his balance|to a knee slide. That is going to hurt his score|unless he does something big! Okay, comin'|to the quarter pipe. Tail-grabs to a lip slide|on the rail to... - Oh, that has got to hurt. Come on, Max,|get up! He's okay! Let's see|if he can end strong. Quick flip into|a one-handed stall. This is a new one.|I have never seen this move, folks! It's back down into the transition.|Sit 360. And... time! Wowee! With barely above|a six-point average, Team 99 just makes it|to the semifinals... by the skin of their teeth! Relax!|It's okay, man. We're in! - Get real!|- Goofy! Goofy! Witness, gentlemen,|victor is ours. And most importantly,|we taught our little freshmen foes... not to mess|with the Gammas. - Goofy! Goofy!|- Maxie! - Goofy! Goofy!|- Hey, Maxie? Maxie! I've been lookin'|all over for you, son. Where you been?|I can't tell you how sorr I am. Save your breath!|You may have won this time, but, Dad... Oh! This campus just isn't|big enough for the both of us. I didn't mean for it|to turn out this way. I was just tryin'|to get closer to ya. Don't you get it?|I'm trying to get away from you! I'm not a little kid anymore! Now just|leave me alone and get your own life! Good morning, people. It would appear that it is time|to start. You may open... Oh, Mr. Goof. - Nice of you to join us today.|- Huh? Oh, yeah.|Right. You may open your envelopes and begin. Let's not have|any wandering eyes. Hello, world|There's a song that we're singing Come on, get happy A whole lot of lovin'|is what we'll be bringin' We'll make you happy We had a dream|We go traveling together We'll spread a little lovin'|And we'll keep movin'on Something always happens|whenever we're together We get a happy feeling|when we're singing a song Traveling along there's a song|that we're singing Come on, get happy A whole lot of loving|is what we'll be bringing We'll make you happy We'll make you happy|We'll make you happy Yah-hoo-hoo-hoo! You're fired! I notice you don't have|a college degree. Come on, son. I can't miss you|if you won't leave. Whoa! - Get your own life! Huh? - Get your own life!|- Huh? Leave me alone|and get your own life! - Pencils down. I said, pencils down. Wait a minute.|I'm not finished! It's over, Mr. Goof. - Oh, Pete! What am I gonna do now? Oh, look, Goof,|it's no big deal. All that book learning|doesn't prepare you for doodly-squat. It's useless|in the real world. Ha!|All them square roots, and circumnavigating|and circumference and... bah! It's all "garbology."|Lookie here. If you know that four quarters|adds up to a simoleon, you'll survive. Anyone who tells you|anything different... is priming your pump. Take it from me, pal. If you want that diploma, you gotta fix both eyes|on it... like it was this here|horseshoe stake. That's it!|I lost my focus! I gotta get back there|and straighten things out. Focus! Did I miss something? Hey, I know you!|Aren't you... Yeah. Max. Goofy's son!|Ahh! He is rad! Hmm? Do you ever wonder why|we're always like... wearin' gloves? Grande cappuccino.|Make it a double. Hey, Max! - Grande cap, double it.|- Be here now, bro! We thrive on the singularity|of the you that is one... with your selfness. That's just the|new P.J. "speak" for... "Where you been,|buddy?" I've decided this school's|only big enough for one Goof. I'm transferring|outta here. - Excusez-moi moi?|- Wait a minute! Hold it, Max! That means|you can't be on the "X" Games team. Exactly. You don't want me on the team,|anyway. I lost in my best event! Ah, c'mon! Hey, Maxman!|That was a one-time freak-fest. You can beat any|of those losers any day. I've already decided.|I'm outta here. Max, Max, Max.|Admit defeat, and defeat will surely admit you|into permanent custody, my man. If I can't even beat my father, who is probably the most|athletically-challenged man|in the universe, how can you expect me|to beat the other competitors? We're starting in last place|because of me! That never|stopped us before! You wanna give that Gamma geek|Bradley the satisfaction|of knowing he forced us out? Well... no. You wanna let the crowd who once cheered|for you cheer for someone else? - Especially when that someone else|is your old man?|- No! Are you gonna be|someone else's towel boy? No! - Together we can do it!|- You're right! We can still beat 'em!|Let's whip those Gammas! Whoo-hoo-hoo!|Mission: Possible! Let's do it to it! Boys... will be boys. Hmm. Stands me up. Doesn't call me, doesn't apologize,|doesn't write to me. He could send me|a little note, something. Hmph. - Sylvia, l... Oh, if you'd let me, l...|- Shh. No talking in the library. Oh, gawrsh, Sylvia. I really care|about ya. Well, gee! If a certain someone|truly cared about another someone, you would think that|the certain someone would show up|for a certain special dinner, or at least apologize|for not showing up, or even call or something! Ohh! You're right.|I'm so sorr. I let my head|get so filled up with fiddle-faddle, that I plumb lost track of everything|that's important to me. - Counting you!|- Oh! Can you ever forgive me? Oh, how can I|not forgive you? Oh, Sylvia, I gotta get my grades up,|and quit those dumb ol' Gammas. - And most important...|- Shh. And most important, get my son back. Well, what|are we waiting for? - I've got a yearnin'|for some learnin'. Ah-yuck!|- Ah-yuck! Huh? Sylvia? Ooh, ooh, ooh-ooh Come on,|you can do it. - I don't wanna lose this good thing|- Go, go! You're everything I've got If I do|I would surely Surely lose a lot 'Cause your love|is better Than any other I know It's like thunder|Lightning - The way you love me is frightening|- Let's do it! You better knock|on wood Baby Ooh, ooh, ooh-ooh You better knock|on wood Oh!|Oh, you did it! You did it!|Look! All A's. - Whoa? Oh, I am just so proud|of you, Goofy. Let's go celebrate. Oh, you know I'd love to, but I got a few more things|to take care of. So, you see,|I have to quit the team. - Excuse me?|- You what? - No way!|- What is he talking about, huh? Just what makes you think|you can change your mind... on the last day|of the competition? Should I knock some sense|into his big melon? Whoa, whoa.|Down, Tank. Easy, boy. If you're thinking you're|quitting the Gammas to join|that freshman geek son of yours, you've got|another thing comin'. Bull's-eye, baby. Dog-boy's in trouble,|and Daddy's gonna bail him out. No, sirree, sir! Ah! Got my bunion! I'm not gonna be|on anyone's team. Smart man.|But you forgot one thing. Nobody... I repeat...|Nobody quits the Gammas! If you were such darn winners before,|you'll be just fine without me. - I'm leavin' the Gammas,|and that's that.|- You're not leaving the Gammas. Wow-ow! - The Gammas are leaving you!|- Sayonara. - Yeah! Hasta la vista, baby! Gee! I think they're|a little sore at me. Whoops! Better return my Gamma pin. We'll win how we always win.|And how's that, Gammas? - Skill?|- Good looks? No, you dense dopes!|We'll cheat! Cheat! Cheat! Just like we did last time,|sweetheart. That was a great cheat. But now|I have a better plan. I gotta warn Maxie! This is it, guys. - Championship time. Oh, hiya, fellers. Oh, heh-heh,|hi, Mr. Goof. Gee, Max, I know|you're still sore at me, but I came to warn you... - that the Gammas|have been cheatin' all along.|- Oh, yeah! Did Bradley tell you|to say that? Stop wasting my time, Dad.|I gotta stay focused. Ooh, good luck, son. Ohh, ladies and gentlemen! Put on your seat belts|and hold on to your hats. Oh, my! It's time for the high-flying,|gravity-defying, no-time-for-crying... College "X" Games! Let's get vertical! All righty now. We'll begin with the eight qualifying|teams in a semifinal round... until we're down|to the two best teams. Then they'll be fightin'|for first place... and the College "X" Games|championship! That's right, Chuck. In the semifinals|we'll see rock climbing, luge runs,|and much more! Won't... that be fun! The leading team to beat,|as always, is the Gammas! Their three competitors are.|Bradley Uppercrust the Third, Tank and Slouch! - What happened to Goofy?|- We want Goofy! What do you know, Chuck!|Looks like Goofy's a no-show. What happened to Goof, man? Hey, Brad,|what'd you do with my dad? He didn't make the cut.|He was never Gamma material. Let's go down|to the semifinal round... which begins|with the rock climb. What the... - Yeah! Yeah! Whoo-whoo! Yes! Huh? - Whoa! Yea! The semifinals have resulted|in just Team One and Team 99... going head-to-head|in the finals. The grueling competition|has really taken its toll... on the athletes|this afternoon. Let's strap in for our final and|deciding event: The "X" Games triathlon. Yes, we're seconds away from what|promises to be an exciting finale... between these|two fierce competitors. Take your positions. On your mark,|get set... False start! False start! Both teams back on the line.|Get back here. Hold on! Bradley just blasted|our third guy into the next state. That is absurd!|I did nothing of the sort! That's what my dad|has been trying to tell me. Can we get on|with the race, please? Wait a minute.|Uh, one, two. You don't seem to have|enough team members now. - Do you?|- Rules are rules. You have to field a full team,|or you forfeit to the Gammas. That's unfair!|We don't know anyone else. Oh, seems we have|a little delay here, folks. Team 99's short a man and will be|disqualified if one is not found... in just one|and one half minutes. Dad, it's me, Max.|If you're out there... Oh, my gosh.|Maxie's in trouble! Dad, relax, I'm not in trouble. It's|just the team needs you. I need you. You hear that?|I gotta go help him! Good thing I always carry|my lucky horseshoe. I'm a-comin', Maxie! Whoo-hoo-hoo!|Whoa! Aaah! Well, I wouldn't blame him|if he didn't come. That's it!|They're disqualified. Nope, nope, nope. Not yet.|There's still five more seconds. Four, three, two... - Ah-yuck! Come on, no fair!|He's too late! Not by my watch. Son, about|the last couple of weeks... Dad, what do ya say|we take care of this race first? You got it! Take your positions. On your mark! Get set! Gammas lead|as they head out of the stadium. - Operation Grandma up ahead.|- Goody, goody. Uh-oh! There's pedestrians|on the course! Gawrsh!|Sorr, ma'am. Wink-wink. Operation Hay Bale. Isn't that Mickey Mouse|over there? - Mickey Mouse? Where?|- He's over there. Team 99 cruising along. Holy moly!|What is this? Looks like a little|street-skating detour. Side by side, sole grinds|all the way down the ledge. And Team 99 has regained|the lead! The whip, Tank! Seven-ten split,|gutter boy! Team Gamma blows right by the freshmen. The racers are approaching|the start of the bicycle leg. Gamma still holding its lead. Off with the skates,|and on to the bikes! And both teams are blasting|through the rhythm section... with a whole lot of style. The freshmen are right|on Team Gamma's tail. Oh, look out! Bobby seems|to have sailed off the course. What a bummer for Bobby. Bobby, you all right? Keep goin', Max! It is really heating up now, folks, as both teams are approaching|the huge quarter pipe... to start the final leg|of the event. Right away, Team Gamma|starts working the course... with Team 99 nippin'|at their heals! - They're moving off the ramp, and...|- And onto the Zipper. Huh? Whoa-whoa!|Yah-hoo-hoo-hoo! Tank, take him out! I will not be ignored. Nobody finishes this race|but me! Maxie! It's about stayin' focused|on your goal! What the...|Ohhh! Oh, say it ain't so! No! I'm a-comin',|Maxie! It's lookin' bad and it's not|gonna get prettier, folks. Help! Bradley! Gammas, help me! Anyone! 911, baby! Tank, talk to me, man. Over here, man. Dog-boy,|am I glad to see you, sweetheart. Max, where are you?|Where are you, Max? Maxie! Oof! Dad, help me lift this beam|off of Tank. Come on!|We're about to be Baked Alaska here. Ladies and gentlemen,|it looks like it's all over. Wait a minute.|I can't believe my eyes, folks. - They are alive!|- Huh? Go for it, son. That's some kid|you got there. You're wrong, Tank.|He's not a kid anymore. Oh, Team 99 is still in this race! Max Goof is making up the distance.|He is taking the lead! Bradley's battling back|as they come to the finish line. Team 99 wins!|Oh, I am stunned, folks! I just can't...|I can't believe... I can't even finish|my sentences. Oh, my!|What a day! Ah-yuck! Congratulations, son! Congratulations, Max. I haven't forgotten|our agreement. The bet's off, Bradley. But I think|you owe him something. Brad! Hi, it's me,|the guy ya let down. Hey, Tank, baby!|Who loves ya, baby, huh? You're goin' down like|a four-cent pair of socks. You and me, baby,|all the way! Oh! A vacancy|at the Gamma house. Takin' applications. Okay, okay, let go of me,|you big fat jerk! Time to get|on the last jet to nowhere! No, it doesn't look good now. It's like I'm in a bad dream,|and it just won't quit. That's right, Chuck. Congratulations, Dad.|Here. Gawrsh, son,|what's this? You gotta open it|to find out. But... this is yours. No, Dad. This is for you.|Read the inscription. "I might not be|your little boy anymore, but I'll always be|your son." Okay, okay, "hugfesters." Free eats|back at the dorm-a! Pizza! Double cheese-a! Mmm-mmm.|Scrumptious! - Come on, Dad. Let's feast. Sorr, son, but|I kinda got plans of my own. I'm really gonna miss you. Sure, it was rough for us|at the start, but, well, it turned out to be a pretty|cool thing, you here at college with me. But now it's over and we'll go on|with our own lives and... - You didn't tell him yet?|- Didn't tell me what? I wanted|to surprise him. Son, guess what!|I got me a job here on campus. But you... - So I could be close to you!|- But I thought you were... - You told me you were gonna...|- Just kidding. He is so goofy! - What do you say we go for...|- A picnic? Ah-yuck.|Then maybe even a... Walk on the beach?|I'd love to. You know,|somehow I knew you would. Ah-yuck! - Do you remember that day|- That sunny day When you first came my way I said no one|could take your place - And if you get hurt|- lf you get hurt By the little things|I say I can put that smile|back on your face And it's all right|and it's coming on We got to get it right back|to where we started from Love is good|Love can be strong We gotta get it right back|to where we started from Yeah|Come on, babe A love like ours Can never fade away You know it's only|just begun Yeah, baby - You gave me your love|- Gave me your love I just can't stay away, no I know you are|the only one And it's all right|and it's coming on We gotta get it right back|to where we started from Love is good|Love can be strong We gotta get it right back|to where we started from Whoo Uh-huh There you be Waitin' till you come back Yeah, yeah We can get it back|Get it back Yeah, yeah, yeah Yeah And it's all right|and it's coming on We gotta get it right back|to where we started from Love is good|Love can be strong We gotta get it right back|to where we started from And it's all right|and it's coming on We gotta get it right back|to where we started from Love is good|Love can be strong We gotta get it right back|to where we started from And it's all right|and it's coming on We gotta get it right back|to where we started from I study nuclear science|I love my classes I got a crazy teacher|He wears dark glasses Things are goin' great|and they're only gettin' better Yeah, I'm doin' all right|I'm gettin' good grades The future's so bright|I gotta wear shades I gotta wear shades I got a job|waitin' for my graduation Fifty thou a year|Can't wait till it's here Things are goin' great|and they're only gettin' better I'm doin' all right|I'm gettin' good grades The future's so bright|I gotta wear shades I gotta wear shades|Yeah Well, I'm heavenly blessed|and worldly wise I'm a cyberspace techie|with X-ray eyes Things are goin' great|and they're only gettin' better Yeah, I'm doin' all right|I'm gettin' good grades The future's so bright|I gotta wear shades I gotta wear shades Ow, ow, ow I study nuclear science|I love my classes I got a crazy teacher|He wears dark glasses Things are goin' great|and they're only gettin' better Yeah, I'm doin' all right|I'm gettin' good grades The future's so bright|I gotta wear shades I gotta wear shades I gotta wear shades I gotta wear shades I gotta wear shades Oh, oh, oh, yeah

Max: Do you realize going off to college means no more well meaning, but totally smothering, overprotective, doting, a-hyuck-ing dads?
P.J.: Yeah, well... yours, at least. My dad's been counting down the days until he can turn my room into a bowling alley

Goofy: Gawrsh, Pete. One day, you're changing their diapers, and the next thing you know... they're all grown up and leaving for college.
Pete: Well, Goof, the way I see it, it's my last day of babysittin' and I'm a free man! Oh, yeah! [laughing] Free, free, free I tell ya! [laughing] Come on, son! I can't miss ya if you don't leave! [laughing harder]

P.J.: [giving directions to the college] Okay dude, uh, south. No wait, that's uh... I dunno, man, do I look like Magellan?
Max: P.J., you couldn't even spell Magellan.
P.J.: Try hanging a Louie. Nononono, wait, that's the other Louie.
Max: Louie, Huey, Dewey, what are you talking about here?
Bobby: [pointing to the map] Yo, it's right here; this way.
Max: Yeah P.J., Bobby's right. Uh, hey, Bob, um... Who's driving?

Goofy's Boss: Goofy! I warned you! You're... FIRED!!!!!!!!!!!

Max: Gentlemen, I welcome you to the first day of the rest of our lives.
Bobby: Wow. That's pretty deep. Did you get that off a bumper sticker?

Bobby: [speaking with a phony French accent] Me and a little crumpet like yourself could make beautiful bongo music together.
Beret Girl: Whoa, easy boy. You're fogging up my karma.
Max: Hey, you wanna sit with us?
Beret Girl: Sure. Your cool balances out [snaps fingers] his fool.
Bobby: Okay, whatever...

P.J.: It is endemic of the current culture that those with large stature are overlooked-except by vultures-with no regard to the depth of their souls, the height of their passion, the beauty of their moments.
Beret Girl: Oh, wise Buddha boy. How could anyone overlook such a bundle of yes-ness? Let's dance. [yanks P.J. out onto the dance floor by the arm]

Max: We've started in last place because of me!
Bobby: That's never stopped us before! You want to give that Gamma geek Bradley the satisfaction of knowing he forced us out?
Max: Well... no...
Bobby: You want to let the crowd who once cheered for you cheer for someone else? Especially when that someone else is your old man?!
Max: No!
Bobby: Are you gonna be someone else's towel boy?!
Max: NO!

Beret Girl: [after Max, P.J. and Bobby leave excitedly] Boys... will be boys.

Pete: Oh, look, Goof, it's no big deal. All that book learning doesn't prepare you for doodly-squat. It's useless in the real world. Ha! All them square roots, and circumnavigating and circumference and... bah! It's all "garbology." Lookie here. If you know that four quarters adds up to a simoleon, you'll survive.

Goofy: Oh, Sylvia, I... oh, if you'll let me I...
Sylvia: Shh! No talking in the library.
Goofy: Oh, gawrsh, Sylvia. I really care about you.
Sylvia: Well gee. If a certain someone truly cared about another someone, you would think that the certain someone would show up for a certain special dinner, or at least apologize for not showing up, or even call or... something!
Goofy: Oh, you're right. I'm so sorry. I let my head get so filled up with fiddle-faddle that I plumb lost track of everything that’s important to me - countin’ you. Can you ever forgive me?
Sylvia: [After a moment] Oh, how can I not forgive you?

Teacher: Pencils down. I said... pencils down.
Goofy: [failing the test] Wait a minute! I'm not finished! I've got--
Teacher: IT'S ...over, Mr. Goof.

[Goofy re-enters to the Gamma house to return his Gamma pin and overhears the Gammas talking]
Bradley: We'll win how we always win. And how's that, Gammas?
Tank: Skill?
Gamma: Eh, good looks?
Bradley: No, you dense dolts. We cheat.
[Goofy is shocked]
Tank: Just like we did last time, sweetheart.
Bradley: And that was a great cheat. But now...[sinister] I have a much better plan.
Goofy: [quietly] I gotta warn Maxie!

Max: Hey, Brad! What did you do with my dad?
Bradley: He didn't make the cut. See, he was never Gamma material.

[Bradley blasts rockets on PJ's roller-skates sending PJ flying into the air]
Referre: False start! False start! Both teams back on the line. Get back here.

[Max sneers at the chuckling Gammas]

Max: Wait! Hold on! Bradley just blasted our third guy into the next state!
Bradley: Why, that is absurd. I did nothing of the sort.
Max: [groans] That's what my dad has been trying to tell me!

[Bradley blasted Max and Tank into the X-Games wire and fabric logo]
Tank: [coughing] Help! [coughing] Bradley! [coughing] Gammas, help me! [coughing] Anyone! 9-1-1, baby!
Max: [coughing] Tank, talk to me, man!
Tank: Over here, man! Dogboy! Am I glad to see you, sweetheart.
Goofy: Max, where are you? Where are you, Max? Maxie! [slips on Max's skateboard]
Max: Dad, help me lift this beam off of Tank! [Goofy gets up and starts to lift the beam up just as the burning debris is about to fall]
Tank: Come on! We're about to be baked Alaska here!

Tank: That's some kid you got there.
Goofy: [smiling] You're wrong, Tank. He's not a kid anymore.

Bradley: Congratulations, Max. I haven't forgotten our agreement.
Max: The bet's off, Bradley. [points to Tank] But I think you owe him something.
Tank: Brad! Hi. It's me, the guy you let down.
Bradley: [nervously] Hey, Tank! Baby! Who loves ya, baby? Huh?
Tank: [growls] You're goin' down like a four-set pair of socks.
Bradley: You and me, baby! All the way!

[He tries to run, but Tank grabs hold of him and uses him like a slingshot]

Tank: Oh, a vacancy at the Gamma house. Takin' applications.
Bradley: Okay, okay! Let go of me, you big, fat jerk!
Tank: Time to get on the last jet... to nowhere! [fires Bradley towards the X-Games blimp flying overhead]

[Goofy unwraps his present from Max revealing to be his X Games trophy]
Goofy: But... this is yours.
Max: No, Dad. This is for you. Read the inscription.
Goofy: [reading the back of the trophy] "I might not be your little boy anymore, but I'll always be your son."

[Goofy and Max embrace]