[Open on a sky blue screen shows "Walt Disney Pictures Presents" which changes to "A Movie". With a Goofy yell of "Yahoohoohooee" and a loud crash, the camera pans down to show a wind blown wheat field with a beautiful blue sky and cotton puff clouds.]
Roxanne’s Voice: Max…
[Max appears close up and gasps at the sound of his name. He looks around for the source, finally squinting into the audience.]
Roxanne’s Voice: Max…
[The camera reverses viewpoint to show a tall pedestal with a female figure on top. Max begins to run through the wheat toward it.]
Roxanne’s Voice: Max…
[Finally reaching the clearing in the wheat, Max can now see who is on the pedestal clearly.]
[Roxanne is holding a white dandelion and she gently blows the seeds towards Max. Max is mesmerized by the seeds. Roxanne leaps from atop the pedestal and gracefully glides down toward Max. Max attempts to catch her, but they end up falling down on the ground. They giggle for a while, then look at each other. Max sighs. Roxanne puckers her lips for a kiss. Suddenly the sky changes to overcast gray and the wheat changes to thorns. Roxanne gasps and draw away, shocked. The camera switches to Max, who now has incredibly large buck teeth.]
Max: (partly mumbling) What’s wrong?
[Max now notices his teeth. Then his ears grow, and his hands. Roxanne gasps. Max continues to grow and change until he looks exactly like his father, Goofy. Roxanne screams. Max feels a Goofy laugh force it’s way out of his throat like the howl of some wild animal. Lightning Flashes. Suddenly, we are in Max’s bedroom. Max gasps and awakes from sleep. He checks his head and his teeth and sighs when he realizes it was just a dream. The phone rings. Max is started by it, fumbles the receiver while answering it, drops it on the floor, then picks it up.]
Max: Hello? [cough] Hello?
PJ: (on phone) Max? Where the heck are you, man?
PJ: (on phone) You should have been here an hour ago!
Max: What? What are you… Hold on. [Max hits his alarm clock which was showing 4:02. The numbers spin then show 7:50.] Oh, no! [Max leaps out of bed and begins to dress while still on the phone.]
PJ: (on phone) Look, maybe we should just call the whole thing off!
Max: No way, man! It’s now or never! [Max gets tangled in the phone cord and falls.]
PJ: Well, you better get a move on! I’ll meet you at my locker!
[Max gets untangled from the phone cord and hangs up. Max’s father, Goofy, open the door to Max’s room. Goofy is dressed only in towels and has a vacuum cleaner with him.]
Goofy: Morning’, son!
[Max’s pants have fallen to the floor when he hung up the phone. He now yanks up his pants out of embarrassment.]
Goofy: Oops! I forgot! [shuts door, knocks, then opens it again] Morning’, son! I came to see if you had any…dirty…clothes… [Goofy notices that then entire floor is covered with dirty clothes.]
Max: Well, there they are! Help yourself! [Max is still trying to get dressed.]
Goofy: Max, I thought we talked about this.
Max: Yeah, look, I’m sorry, Dad. I’ll take care of it later!
[With his sweatshirt only half on he bumps into Goofy. Goofy helps him get the shirt on the rest of the way.]
Goofy: What’s the big rush?
Max: I’m running late.
Goofy: Well, I could drive you on my way to work. [Goofy begins to vacuum up the dirty clothes.]
Max: Uh, no thanks. I..uh..I need the exercise.
Goofy: Aw, come on, Max!
[Goofy allows the vacuum nozzle to get too close to a cardboard cut out of a singing rock star. The head of it gets sucked in. Max, who was almost out the door, shrieks. He grabs the cut out, while Goofy holds the vacuum. Finally, Max turns off the vacuum and extracts the cut out, which has been curled in a couple of places.]
Max: Aw, Dad! You ruined it!
Goofy: Sorry about that. Who was he, anyway?
Max: It’s only Powerline, Dad. The biggest rock star on the planet.
Goofy: Oh, not bigger than Xavier Cougat, The Mambo King! Everybody mambo! Mambo, mambo, mam-bo! [Goofy begins mambo-ing with an un-willing Max.]
Max: Aw, come on, there’s no time for this! What if the neighbors see us, huh?
[Max extracts himself from Goofy and dashes out the door. Camera switches to the front of the house. Max has exited out the front door. Goofy comes around from the back.]
Goofy: Maxie! Wait up! You forgot your lunch! Have a good day!
[Goofy kisses Max. A few skateboarders passing by see it and start laughing. Max grins embarrassed and waves, then gets a scowl on his face.]
Max: (singing) They’ve been laughing since I can remember, But they’re not gonna laugh anymore! No more "Maxie the geek"! No more "Goof of the week" like before!
Girl tearing up test: (singing) No more algebra tests ‘til September!
Boy: (singing) No more looking at losers like him!
Boy with crib notes on arm: (singing) No more having to cheat!
Another Boy: [steals Max’s lunch] (singing) No more mystery meat!
Yet Another Boy: [snapping jock strap] (singing) No more gym!
Yet Another Another Boy: [snapping jock strap] (singing) No more gym!
Yet Another Boy: [snapping jock strap] (singing) No more gym!
Yet Another Boy: (shouting) No more gym!
Girl with credit cards: (singing) Gonna move to the mall!
Beach Boy: (singing) Gonna live in the pool!
Max: (singing) Gonna talk to Roxanne and not feel like a fool!
All: (singing) ‘Cause after today I’m gonna be cruising!
Max: (singing) After today she’ll be mine!
All: (singing) After today my brains’ll be snoozing!
Max: (singing) If I don’t faint, I’ll be fine!
Twin Girls: (singing) I’ve got forty more minutes of Home Economics!
Twin Boys: (singing) Then down with the textbooks…
Trekkie Boy: (singing) And up with the comics!
Max: (singing) Just think of all of the time I’ve been losing Finding the right thing to say!
All: (singing) But things’ll be going my way, after today! [Roxanne passes by Max. Max waves, but Roxanne does not see him.]
Max: (singing) She looked right through me! And who could blame her? I need a new me, Plus some positive proof That I’m not just a goof! And…
All: (singing) After today I’m gonna be cruising! Two Girls in black: (singing) No more pep rallies to cut! (spoken) Yech!
All: (singing) After today my brains’ll be snoozing! School Bus Driver: (singing) I’m gonna sit on my butt!
Max: (singing) I’ve got less than an hour And when this is ended, I’ll either be famous…
Principal Mazur: (singing) Or you’ll be suspended!
All: (singing) Just think of all of the time I’ve been losing Waiting until I could say: Gonna be on my own, kiss the parents good-bye! Gonna party from now ‘til the end of July! Things’ll be going my way after today!
[school bell rings]
Max: (singing) I wish that this was the day after today!
[Max is now at the top of the bleachers. He starts to step down, but trips and tumbles down, falling flat on his face at the bottom. Lots of kids laugh at him then walk away. Roxanne comes over and helps him up.]
Roxanne: Are you all right?
Max: Yeah, yeah, I’m okay, I just ah, duh,…
[Max then sees it’s Roxanne and gets completely tongue-tied. Roxanne chuckles. Max starts laughing, the emits a Goofy "Uhyuck!" He covers his mouth and dashes away, tripping over some garbage cans. He looks back at Roxanne for a moment, then runs away with an cry of anguish. Roxanne looks down at the ground for a moment. The school bell rings again. We cut to inside the high school.]
Max: I can’t believe I did that! She finally says "hi" to me and what do I do? I choke! Uhyuck! Like a big spaz!
PJ: Where have you been, buddy?
Max: Hi, Peej. Did you get the camera?
PJ: Look, Max, if my Dad catches me with this he’ll kill me! Are you sure we gotta do this?
Max: It’s my only chance, Peej. To Roxanne I’m just a nobody! But after today… [Max and PJ are suddenly flooded with light. Max squints into it.]
[Bobby is drinking at the fountain with a straw. Max and PJ examine the video equipment on a dolly.]
Max: Wow! All this is for us?
Bobby: Mmmmm. Slurpage!
Max: Oh, this is going to be so great, man! [Max begins to wheel video equipment away. Bobby grabs it back.]
Bobby: Dude, need fundage, bro.
Max: Oh, your fee! Yeah, yeah! Right here.
[Max reaches into his backpack, and brings out a bag, handing it to Bobby. Bobby reaches into the bag and pull out an aerosol can. A look of ecstasy comes to his face.]
Bobby: Cheddar! [wolf howl] Cheddar Whizzie!
[He sprays an enormous amount of the cheese into his mouth. Max and PJ look close to nausea. Bobby smacks his lips and coughs, spraying Max and PJ with cheese.]
Bobby: Spe-scrumptious! Let’s do it, ladies!
[Cut to school auditorium. Entire school body is there, making noise and throwing paper. Stacey is at the podium in the middle of the stage.]
Stacey: As student body president, I just want to say, like, "yea" to all of us for a really neat year.
Trekkie: Yo, Stacey! Talk to me! Talk to me! Talk to me, babaaaay!
Stacey: And also that I hope you can all attend my totally amazing end-of-school party next Saturday to watch the Powerline concert live on Pay-per-view. [Students cheer this announcement.]
Stacey: Thank you. Thank you very much. And now, without further ado, Principal Mazur. [Sudden silence falls. The microphone squeals as Mazur begins to speak.]
Mazur: Thank you, Stacey! And good morning, boys and girls! You know, every year, on the last day of school, I have several youngsters approach me and say, "Principal Mazur, what can we do to not waste our summer vacation? We don’t want to waste our free time sleeping or visiting friends…"
Boy: Say, uh, Roxanne. About Stacey’s party…
[Cut to Max, who can see the Boy talking to Roxanne through a part in the curtain. He closes the curtain, and zips up his Powerline costume.]
Max: How are you, uh, how are you doing down there, Bobby?
Bobby: Don’t give me that attitude, you guys. I’m doing it all for you.
PJ: This is nuts! I don’t know why I let you guys talk me into this. If my dad finds out, he’s gonna nuke my entire existence! [PJ trips on the wires backstage and partially goes under the curtain. Max picks him back up.]
Max: Oh, I hope this works! [Cut back to Mazur, with a spotlight on him.]
Mazur: …how about Science Slumber Parties! [The spotlight goes out.]
[Max puts on his shades and gives a thumbs up. It is echoed by Bobby and PJ. A button is pressed. Rock music begins. A large screen begins to rise behind Principal Mazur.]
Mazur: Wha… [Mazur notices the screen rising.]
Mazur: Hey! [Max appears on the screen. Bobby pulls a switch.]
Mazur: I’m not going to…
[A trap door open up under the podium and it and Principal Mazur disappear down it. Bobby laughs. Max starts his lip synching.]
Max: (lip synching) Some people settle for the typical thing: Living all their lives waiting in the wings. It ain’t a question of if, just a matter of time Before I move to the front of the line. I watch you watching every move that I make You gotta believe that I got what it takes.
[Max trips over one of the wire back stage and rips through the screen, tumbling to front center stage. The students scream their approval.]
Music: To stand out above the crowd Even if I gotta shout out loud.
[Max is amazed to see the reception his act is getting. He especially notices the rapt gaze of Roxanne in the front row. Bobby laughs and tickles PJ over the success of the plan. Both give Max a thumbs up.]
Music: ‘Til mine is the only face you’ll see. Gonna stand out ‘til you notice me. [Bobby turns on a CO2 fire extinguisher.]
Bobby: A little smokage! Arooo-oo-ooo!
Max: (lip synching) If I make you stop and take a look at me Instead of just walking by, There’s nothing that I wouldn’t do If it was getting you to notice I’m alive.
[Bobby hands PJ a rope with a hook on it. PJ sneaks under cover of the CO2 fog and hooks Max’s belt from behind.]
Max: (lip synching) All I need is half a chance A second thought, a second glance Will prove I got whatever it takes. It’s a piece of cake. [PJ gives Bobby the cue, who yanks on the rope and Max goes flying around the room.]
Music: To stand out above the crowd. Even if I gotta shout out loud.
Girl (same one with credit cards): Wow! Who is that guy?
[Max grabs a basketball and slam dunks it. As he swings back, he reaches out for Roxanne’s outstretched hand.]
Music: ‘Til mine is the only face you’ll see. Gonna…
[Just as Max’s hand is about to reach Roxanne’s the music dies. Max goes tumbling, finally ending up by Principal Mazur, who removes his shades.]
Boy’s Voice: Hey, it’s the Goof Boy!
Bobby: We’re busted!
[Cut to a child photography studio in a discount store. Goofy is attempting to make a child smile by squeaking a rubber duck and making baby sounds.]
Goofy: Come on, smile! Smiley wiley! [The child is on the verge of tears.]
Goofy: Aw, come on, Kimmie! Gimme a big…
[With a strong squeeze, the squeaker on the rubber ducky pops out and Goofy swallows it. He squeaks when he tried to speak. The child likes it and breaks into a big smile. Goofy takes advantage of this to begin taking pictures and playing peekaboo with the child. Pete come up behind Goofy, slaps him on the back and knocks the squeaker out of Goofy’s throat.]
Pete: Stop goofing around! We got work to do!
Goofy: Okay, Kimmie, back to mommy, now!
[The child is reluctant to leave Goofy but finally waves bye-bye.]
Mommy: Oh, you have such a way with children!
Pete: (mocking) You have such a way with children! Pleh! [Goofy approaches a little girl and her mother waiting for a picture.]
Goofy: Okay, now! Who’s next over he… [Pete knocks Goofy out of the way.]
Pete: Step aside, Goof. Let a pro show you how it’s done. Okay! Who’s next over here? Heh, heh! Oh, hello precious.. [The little girl kicks Pete.]
Pete: Doh!! Ow! You lucky woman! Come on here, honey! It’s picture time! [The little girls giggles and hides.]
Little Girl: Peekaboo!
Pete: She’s so cute!
Little Girl: Peekaboo! [Pete finally catches her.]
Goofy: Gosh, Pete. You sure are good with kids!
Pete: Oh, yeah. Well, they love me. [Pete is holding the little girl by the collar. She attempts to hit Pete and fails.]
Pete: Why, PJ, he’s been begging me to take him on vacation this summer.
Goofy: Really? Where are you going? [Pete velcros the little girl to the set floor.]
Pete: Camping! Nothing like the great outdoors to strengthen the bond between a father and his son.
Goofy: Oh, Max would never go for anything like that! [Goofy gives the little girl a stuffed Bambi.]
Pete: I don’t know, Goof. Something’s wrong when a kid won’t spend time with his parents. Why, for all you know he’s running around with some gang and stealing stuff and causing riots…
[Pete takes the stuffed Bambi from the little girl who cries.]
Goofy: No, Max is a good kid. He’d never get mixed up in something like that!
[With a loud boom, we cut to the main office of the high school. Max and Bobby and sitting, waiting their turn to speak with the Principal. Miss Maples, a secretary, is typing and humming the funeral march. Max is totally depressed.]
Max: I’m a failure--complete loser! My one chance to impress Roxanne and I blew it! [Bobby reveals something he has been working on for a while.]
Bobby: Uh, huh! Max! Look! It’s the leaning tower of cheeza!
[Bobby stuffs the cheese in his mouth. PJ comes out of the Principal’s office with a vacant look on his face.]
PJ: Oh, man! My dad is going to smash me like a bug!!
Bobby: Hey, PJ! Detention! [laughs]
Mazur: Robert Zimmeruski.
Bobby: (nervously) Okay, I’m coming! Max, here. [hands Max can of cheese] Guard this with your life, dude!
[Bobby wheels the dolly of video equipment into Principal Mazur’s office. You can see Mazur’s collection of paddles in the background. Bobby gives Max a double thumbs up.]
Bobby: Hey, Mazu-ur! What’s up, bro!
[The door to Principal Mazur’s office shuts. Max puts his head in his hands. Roxanne and Stacey come by the office.]
Stacey: (fading in) …with all those kids in my house the place will be like a sauna so I’m all freaked out, but then I though, "Like, use it!" So my theme is gonna be: "Powerline Goes Rain Forest"! Too much? Roxanne, are you listening? [Roxanne is looking at Max.]
Stacey: Ahhhh! [Roxanne walks over to Max. Stacey gives Roxanne a push towards him.]
Roxanne: No, I don’t want to…
Stacey: (whispering) Talk to him!
[Roxanne clears her throat a couple of times. Max still has his head in his hands and pays no attention. Roxanne shrugs at Stacey.]
Stacey: (whispering) Tap him!
[Roxanne taps Max who immediately sits up, startled. Roxanne’s books and papers go flying. Max looks at Roxanne and smiles. He gets up out of the chair then starts to help Roxanne pick up the papers and books.]
Max: Gosh, I’m..I’m sorry.
Roxanne: It’s okay. Really.
[Max and Roxanne reach for the same paper at the same time and Max’s hand touches hers. They stay that way for a moment, then Max withdraws his hand, a bit embarrassed.]
Roxanne: Um, I liked your dance.
Max: Yeah. Yeah? Uh, Yeah! It’s from Powerline’s new video!
Roxanne: I know! He’s, he’s totally a genius!
Max: Uh, yeah! He, he’s doing a concert next week in L.A.!
Roxanne: Oh, yeah! Stacey is showing it at her party.
Roxanne: Yeah! [Max fidgets and fumbles for a while.]
Max: Um, uh, Roxanne, I was, uh, sorta kinda thinkin’ that maybe I’d, uh, ask you to [cough] go with me, that is, to the … party. Of course if you don’t want to I’d completely understand!
Roxanne: Well, I was, sorta kinda thinking that … I’d love to!
Max: All right!
Roxanne: Okay! [Stacey grabs Roxanne’s arm and beings to drag her away.]
Stacey: Come on, Roxanne. We don’t want to belabor the moment, now, do we?
Roxanne: Well, I’d better be going.
Max: I’ll, uh, call you later!
Roxanne: Okay! Bye! [Roxanne backs into the door. Giggles nervously, then with a final "Bye." leaves the office.]
Stacey: See? That wasn’t so bad! I told you men are easy to deal with!
Max: Yes! She said yes! Woo hoo hoo! Everybody mambo! [Max grabs Miss Maples and beings to mambo with her.]
Miss Maples: It’s not my break yet! [Hearing the commotion, Bobby and Principal Mazur come out of the office.]
Bobby: Yeah! Dance with her! Groove with her!
Mazur: Miss Maples!
Miss Maples: (sing-songish) Yes sir!
Mazur: Get that boy’s father on the phone at once!
Miss Maples: (sing-songish) Right away, sir! [Cut to Goofy answering the phone at the Discount Store.]
Mazur: Yes, Mr. Goof. This is Principal Mazur. I’m calling in regard to your son, Maximillian.
Goofy: Max? Oh, my gosh! Is he hurt?
Mazur: No, Mr. Goof. He’s in trouble!
Goofy: Trouble? What kind of trouble?
Mazur: Dressed like a gang member..
Goofy: Gang member?
Mazur: …your son caused the entire student body to break into a riotous frenzy!
Goofy: Riot? It couldn’t be my…
Mazur: If I were you, Mr. Goof, I’d seriously re-evaluate the way you’re raising your child before he ends up in the electric chair!!
Goofy: The electric chair? [He lets the phone drop.] What am I gonna do? [Goofy is suddenly bathed in a beam of blue light.]
PA: Blue light special on aisle 3. Blue light special on aisle 3.
[Following the light, Goofy is drawn to a display of small ceramic figures of a goof fishing. Goofy bobs the head of one of the figures which bounces around a while.]
Goofy: Lake Destiny!
[Cut back to the photo studio. Pete is about to get a picture of the little girl who is still velcoed to the set.]
Pete: Okay, kiddo, now smile! [She gives a big smile, but suddenly, Goofy’s face is in the viewfinder.]
Goofy: Lake Destiny, Idaho!!
Pete: Lake Whodawhata…
Goofy: You were right, Pete. Nothing like the great outdoors to strengthen the bond between father and son! You said so yourself!
Pete: Well, yeah, but, ah… [Goofy dances away.]
Goofy: I’m going fishing! I’m going fishing with my boy!
Pete: Yah! Okay, precious, give me a big smi… [Only the diaper remains on the set. The little girl giggles as she runs after Goofy.]
Girl: Fishy! Fishy!
[Cut to front of high school. The final bell rings and students come dashing out. Max walks out with a smile on his face and a vacant look.]
Boy: (to Max) Cool concert, lad!
Another Boy: Wellll, bud!
Girl (same as with credit cards): Hey, Max. Wicked dance!
Max: Thanks! [Stacey comes by and pushes the girl away.]
Stacey: Forget it, girl. He’s Roxanne’s.
PJ: Way to go, man! [he jumps on Max’s shoulders] I just heard about you and Roxanne!
Max: Oh, Peej! [PJ starts giving Max noogies. Max dumps PJ off.]
PJ: See? See? I told you our plan would work! (chanting) Max! Max!
Max: Peej, knock it off!
Bobby: Maximum! Maximum!
Cheerleaders: Max! Max! Max!
[More and more students join in the chant until the entire student body is chanting "Max! Max!" Max is pleasantly shocked. He dances his way home.]
Music: All I need is half a chance A second thought, a second glance Will prove I got whatever it takes.
Max: (lip synching) It’s a piece of cake.
Music: To stand out above the crowd. Even if I gotta shout out loud. ‘Til mine is the only face you’ll see. Gonna stand out. Stand out. Stand Out. (yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah) Stand Out. ‘Til mine is the only face you’ll see. Gonna stand out so you notice me.
[Max kicks the gate of his home open and walks through. Goofy is loading the car with a lot of stuff.]
Max: Going somewhere, Pop?
Goofy: Sure are, Pal-a-roony!
Max: Cool! Well, have a good time, Dad! If you’re gonna be gone more than a month, drop me a line!
Goofy: But, Max, this isn’t just my vacation. It’s a vacation with me and my best buddy!
Max: Oh, Donald Duck?
Goofy: No, silly! With you! [Spin shot to Max with a shocked expression. Max faints.]
Goofy: Are you okay, Maxie? [Max comes to.]
Max: Wha..What did you say?
Goofy: That’s right! A vacation, son! We’ll spend some real quality time together!
Max: I think I’m gonna be sick!
Goofy: Hey! Got a present for you!
[Goofy grabs Max and proceeds to change his clothes to Max’s protests. Max is shown with a complete fishing outfit on, with an inflatable life vest. Goofy pulls a cord and the vest inflates, making Max look like a rolly polly.]
Goofy: You look just like I did at your age!
Max: Please don’t say that, Dad!
Goofy: Wait! I saved the best for last! [Goofy removes a case from behind his back and blows the dust off it.]
Goofy: It’s been handed down from Goof to Goof to Goof! And now, it’s yours, son! [Goofy opens it to reveal a fly casting rod.]
Max: A stick?
Goofy: No, silly! A fishing pole!
Max: Fishing? We’re going fishing?!
Goofy: Yup! Just like my dad and me did! Two best buddies fishing on Lake Destiny, away from it all!
Max: I don’t want to be away from it all, Dad! I like it all!
Goofy: Hey, look, Maxie! We’re using the same map me and my dad used! We’ll take the same route and make the same stops and see the same sights…
Max: But that trip would take weeks, Dad!
Goofy: Exactly! Getting there is half the fun! [Max pushes the map away.]
Max: Put the map away, Dad. It’s not gonna happen, I’m telling you, it’s not…
Goofy: Careful, son. You’ll wrinkle my past. And our future! What the map says, Max, we will follow!
Max: That’s very mystical and everything, Dad, but, uh, seriously, there’s this party I have to go to…
Goofy: Oh, there’ll be plenty of time for parties when you’re older, Maxie. Why, when I was your age I’d never even been invited to a party! And look at me now!
Max: Great, Dad!
Goofy: [opens car door] Hop in, Maxie!
Max: [closes car door] No.
Goofy: [tries using sympathy] All right, then. Guess I’ll just have to go…all alone. That’s all. Just sit in the boat…all alone. And talk to myself…all alone.
Max: (brightly) I guess so!
Goofy: [opens car door] Aw, come on, hop in!
Max: [shuts it] No, Dad!
Goofy: [opens it] Just hop right in there!
Max: [shuts it] No!
Goofy: [opens it and stuffs Max in] Come on, Maxie, go for it!
Goofy: We’re ready for take off! [Goofy goes around to his door and gets in.]
Goofy: Set for adventure, Maxie?
Max: Why are you doing this to me, Dad?
Goofy: ‘Cause I don’t want you to end up in the electric chair! [He hugs Max which deflates the life vest.]
Max: The electric chair? What are you…
Goofy: I’m not giving up on you, son. Together, we’re gonna work this out.
Max: Work this out? But, Dad…
Goofy: No buts about it, Maxie Boy! Your ol’ pop knows best! [Goofy starts the car and back out.]
Goofy: Goodbye, house! Goodbye, mailbox! [Goofy runs over his fence while turning into the street.]
Goofy: Goodbye, pile of broken wood!
Max: Goodbye, hopes. Goodbye, dreams. Goodbye, Roxanne. Roxanne! Dad, I gotta stop somewhere first! I have to talk to someone!
[Max grabs the steering while, and the car swerves down a side street. After knocking over a few things, the car stops in front of Roxanne’s house. Max gets out of the car.]
Goofy: Now, make it quick, Maxie boy. We gotta put some road behind us! [Max walks up to the front door.]
Max: You get to cancel your first date in less than an hour! [Max rings the doorbell.]
Max: Must be some kind of lame-o record! [The door opens to reveal a rather mean looking person who growls at Max.]
Max: Hi! Is Roxanne home? Oh, My name is Max. Does Roxanne live here? Does she even live on this block?
Roxanne: Wait! It’s okay, Daddy. Max is a friend from school.
[Roxanne’s father lovingly pats Roxanne, then growls at Max again. He turns and goes back inside.]
Roxanne: Go on. Go on. Good Daddy. Hey, Max. [Max mumbles something.]
Roxanne: You wanna, uh, have a seat?
[Max mumbles something, then helps Roxanne to sit on her porch railing. Roxanne’s father, peeking through the mail slot growls at Max. Max puts his hands behind his back and grins nervously.]
Roxanne: Daddy! [The mail slot closes.]
Roxanne: I promise he’ll be better behaved when you pick me up for the party.
Max: Yeah, that’s, uh, sorta why I came by.
Roxanne: I’m really looking forward to it, Max.
Max: Yeah, I was, too.
Roxanne: (disappointed) Was?
Max: Well, you see my dad’s on this stupid father/son kick, and…
Roxanne: Oh, don’t worry about it, Max. It’s just a dumb party.
Max: No, it’s not! Roxanne, I really wanted to go with you. I…
Roxanne: No, Max, I understand. Really, sometimes these things happen…
Max: My dad surprised me, I don’t even want to go, but I have no choice.
Roxanne: I’m sure I can find someone else.
Max: Someone else?
Roxanne: I’ll just talk to you later.
Max: (thinking quickly) Um, uh, Roxanne, uh, my dad is, uh, My dad’s taking me to the Powerline concert in L.A.!!
Roxanne: Your dad is taking you clear across the country just to see a concert?
Max: Well, uh, you see, my dad, uh, knew .. knows! Knows Powerline! They used to play together! In a band! Yeah! [The car horn honks.]
Goofy: Come on, son! Let’s get this show on the road!
Max: Just a minute, you … party … animal, … you. [Goofy looks confused, then grins.]
Roxanne: You’re really serious!
Max: Absolutely! So uh, you aren’t still thinking of going with someone else, are you?
Roxanne: Well, I guess…
Max: Because I was hoping I could, uh, wave to you on-stage when we join Powerline for the final number!
Roxanne: This is incredible!
Max: Well, I wouldn’t miss our date for anything that wasn’t incredible, Roxanne. [Roxanne kisses Max on the cheek. Max dreamily staggers back to the car.]
Roxanne: Have a great time at the concert, Max. [Max mumbles something.]
Roxanne: I’ll see you on TV! [Reality hits Max that he has said something he can’t possible follow through with.]
Max: I’m in deep sludge!
[Fade to Max and Goofy, leaving the city. Goofy is driving and running a video camera at the same time.]
Goofy: Day One: Well, here we are, out on the open road! Retracing the steps of my boyhood. And here’s Maxie! Say, "Hi", Max! [Max is totally depressed. And pays no attention.]
Goofy: Well, how about a wave? [Max puts his hand in front of the lens.]
Max: Not now, dad.
Goofy: What a kidder!
[Goofy puts the camera down, then notices that Max look really depressed. He gets an idea and takes out a list from one of his pockets.]
Goofy: (to himself) Fun games I used to play with my dad. Road Bingo. Twenty… (to Max) Hey, Maxie! Let’s play a game. You think of a name, and I’ll try and guess who it is. Uh, man or woman?
Max: (disgusted) Oh, man!
Goofy: Man, huh? Hmmmm. That’s a toughie! Let’s see. Walt Disney!
Max: (showing no interest) Right.
Goofy: I’m good at this! Now, I’ll think of one. [Max turns on the radio which plays acid rock. Max starts doing air guitar.]
Goofy: Oh, you want to sing a song, huh? Me and my dad used to sing this one all the time!
[Goofy puts in an 8-track tape which interrupts the rock music and starts playing "High Hopes". Goofy sings along. Max changes back to rock music. Goofy changes back to High Hopes. It goes back and forth until they break the radio.]
Max: Oh, great, Dad! Now we don’t have any music!
Goofy: Oh, Maxie, it’s not so bad. We’ll just have to entertain ourselves!
[The beat is established by the car keys. The car backfiring joins in. Goofy starts to whistle the tune.]
Goofy: (singing) Do you need a break from modern living? Do you long to shed your weary load? If your nerves are raw and your brain is fried, Just grab a friend and take a ride Together upon the open road! (speaking) C’mon, Maxie!
Max: (singing) All in all I’d rather have detention! All in all I’d rather eat a toad! An old man drives that’s such a klutz That I’m about to hurl my guts Directly upon the open road!
Goofy: (singing) There’s nothing can upset me ‘cause now we’re on our way! Our trusty map will guide us straight and true!
Max: (singing) Roxanne please don’t forget me! I will return some day! Though I may be in traction when I do!
Goofy: (singing) Me and Max relaxing like the old days!
Max: (singing over Goofy) It’s far worse than dragon breath and acne!
Goofy: (singing) In a buddy-buddy kind of mode!
Max: (singing over Goofy) I’m so mad I think I may explode!
Goofy: (singing) When I see that highway I could cry!
Max: (singing) You know, that’s funny, so could I!
Both: (singing) Just being out on the open road!
CW Girls in pickup: (singing) Howdy boys! Is this the way to Nashville?
Tow Truck Driver: (singing) Watch it, Mack! or you’ll be getting towed!
Con in paddy wagon: (singing) I’m in no hurry to arrive ‘Cause I’ll be turning sixty-five The next time I sees the open road!
[Goofy looks at the con, then at depressed Max, imagining Max in a striped prison uniform. He drives away quickly.]
Small Driver: (singing) Just a week of rest and relaxation,
Large Wife: (spoken) Yeah!
Small Driver: (singing) And the odd romantic episode!
Max: (spoken) Very odd! [Mickey Mouse and Donald Duck are hitchhiking.]
Mickey: (singing) And it’s Californ-eye-ay or bust!
Little Old Lady From Pasadena: (singing) Look out you dirtbags! Eat my dust! From now on I’m on the open road!
Goofy: (singing) It’s me and little Maxie, my pip-squeak pioneer!
Nuns: (singing) Their car edges forever "Westward Ho!" (spoken) Ye Haw!
Max: (singing) Could someone call a taxi and get me out of here To Beverly Hills 90210?
All: (singing) Oh, every day another new adventure! Every mile another new zip code! And the cares we had are gone for good!
Max: (singing) And I’d go with them if I could!
All: (singing) I got no strings on me! I’m feeling fancy free! How wonderful to be on the open road!
[The car drives off into the sunset. We fade to the next day. Goofy is driving with the map in front of him so he can’t see. Max is moping. The car drifts left of center. Max glances up and his expression changes to concern. A truck horn blow. Max looks alarmed. The truck horn blow again. Max grabs the steering wheel and turns the car back into the right lane just as the truck goes by.]
Max: Dad, you’re gonna get us killed! Why don’t you just give me the map?
Goofy: Oh, no thanks, son. Navigating’s a big responsibility! Besides you wouldn’t want to spoil the big surprise. I’m taking you someplace pretty special! [They pull into a rather seedy looking attraction called Lester’s Possum Park and stop.]
Goofy: Gosh! It’s even better than I remembered!
[Cut to a mother attempting to drag her daughter through the entrance to the park, which resembles the mouth of a possum.]
Girl: No! Mommy! I don’t want to go!
Max: (unenthused) Yeah, fun! Tell you what: I’m just gonna wait right here in the car.
Goofy: You party pooper! Come on! This is gonna be fun! [Cut to the interior of a small old theater.]
Old Possum: Howdy there, folks. Lester’s is proud to present the Possum Posse Jamboree. Here it is. [Several patrons clap for the show as Goofy and Max enter.]
Goofy: Oh, good! We’re just in time!
[The curtain opens and shows four holes in the ground. Out of one of the holes comes a mechanical possum which has obviously seen better days.]
Lester: Howdy, folks! Who’s your favorite possum? [Several patrons shout "Lester!"]
Goofy: I got us a seat right up front!
Lester: Let me introduce you to the posse! There’s Buford, Beulah, and Mordechai! [Each pops out of a hole. Mordechai has a terrible electrical short.]
Mordechai: Hey, Lester, ready for yodeling?
Lester: Sure am, Buford.
Lester: (singing) Now gather ‘round, my possum pals, and join the jamboree. Come hoot ‘n’ howl ‘n’ holler from the heart!
Max: (speaking) This is pathetic!
Lester: (singing) And every chicken, pig, ‘n’ goat’ll help by yelpin’ out a yodel Here at Lester’s Possum Park!
Lester: (speaking) Join in, folks! It’s yodelin’ time! [Many patrons join in the yodeling including Goofy. Max just looks disgusted.]
Lester: (singing) Lester’s Possum Park. [Max is getting more and more disgusted at the show.]
Lester: (singing) Well don’t you want to be, a’hanging from a tree? We’re mighty glad to see ya and the parking’s always free! [Lester begins to break down]
Lester: (singing) Here at Lester’s Po-Po-Po- [The Old Possum thumps the side of the stage.]
Lester: (singing) Possum Park! [Goofy is catching it all on video. He then sees a souvenir stand and gets an idea.]
Goofy: Hey! That’s the ticket! I’ll be right back, my little possum pal!
Max: My life’s a living…
Lester: Hel-lo, little buddy!
[A man in a Lester Possum costume comes up to Max. Max turns his back on him and tries to ignore him. Lester comes around to Max’s front.
Lester: Who’s your favorite possum?
Max: Don’t touch me!
Lester: Aw, why such a long face? You’re so sad! Boo hoo hoo! I know! You need a big hug from Lester!
Max: Don’t even think about… [Lester gives Max a giant hug.]
Lester: See? Now you feel all good inside! [Max slaps Lester which turns his false head backwards.]
Max: Beat it, Doofus!
[Lester staggers off unable to see where he is going. He is knocked down and dragged off by several kids.] Max: Oh, no! No, Dad! Not that! Not that! Please! [Goofy comes back wearing a dead possum hat and puts one on Max.]
Goofy: Here you go, sport! Let’s say we get our picture taken! [Cut to a little girl crying while her picture is taken.]
Max: You have got to be kidding.
Goofy: Oh, all right, but you’re missing out!
[Max soon hears a lot of people laughing. Goofy is hanging upside down between two possums to get his picture taken.]
Goofy: Hiya, son!
Kid: Hey, everyone! Check out the dork!
Photographer: Say, "sassafras".
[The branch breaks and Goofy falls to the ground. This sends one of the two possums hurdling toward Max and it hits him in the face. The possum then crawls down Max’s sweatshirt. Max beings to jump around in an attempt to get at the possum. A couple of musicians start playing country music, mistaking Max’s gyrations for an attempt at dance. Goofy see Max just as Max manages to get the possum out of his pants.]
Goofy: That’s the spirit, Maxie! Goofy grabs Max and starts dancing with him.
Max: No, don’t Dad! This is embarrassing! [Goofy finally finished the dance with Max on his knee.]
Kid: It’s Dork and Dork Junior!
[Max listens to everyone laughing at him and his dad, takes the hat off his head, throws it to the ground and fights his way out of the crowd. He goes to the car only to find it locked. He pounds his fists on the door just as it starts to rain. He walks to the highway and starts hitchhiking. A passing car sprays him with water, but he continues to hitchhike. Goofy comes out.]
Goofy: Max! Hey, what the heck are you trying to do?
Max: Trying to get away from you! [Max leaves the highway and goes back to the car.]
Goofy: From me? What’d I do?
Max: Forget it!
Goofy: I thought we was having fun. What’s the matter?
Max: Nothing. Let’s just go. Come on!
[Goofy sadly unlocked the door and Max gets in. Goofy goes around and gets in too. He then hands Max the hat he threw away.]
Goofy: Oh, you dropped your hat. [Max blows up, rolls down the window and throws the hat away again.]
Max: This is the stupidest vacation! You drag me from home, you jam me in this dumb car then drive a million miles away and see some stupid rat show!! Call me when the trip’s over!
[Goofy sadly starts the car and drives off. We fade to a campground. Goofy is setting up a tent, and Max is sitting on a rock by a river. He is stirring the water with a stick. In the ripples, he imagines he sees the face of Roxanne. Suddenly, Goofy steps in the middle of her image.]
Goofy: (tentatively) Hey, Max. You wanna get in some fishing practice? Just a couple of days ‘til we get to Lake Destiny.
Max: Maybe later.
[Max wanders off. Goofy sadly returns to the tent, and begins to unroll a sleeping bag. While in the tent, a huge RV rolls over the top of the tent and proceeds to produce a hot tub, a basketball court, a bowling alley and a swimming pool. Max comes back to see what’s happening.]
Max: Woah! Now that’s camping! [Goofy is still in the tent, unaware of the RV over him.]
Goofy: You say something, Max? Ow!!
[A door on the back of the RV folds down hitting Goofy on the head. Out of the back of the RV steps Pete.]
Pete: Goofy? What a serendipity do dah! Who’da thunk it, huh?
Max: Is PJ here?
Pete: Oh, yeah. I’m sure he’s loafing around here somewhere.
[Cut to the inside of the RV. PJ is buffing the floor and dusting while listening to Powerline on the stereo. He is singing along.]
Max: What a goob!
[PJ begins treating the buffer like a microphone, still singing along. Max turns off the stereo. PJ, oblivious, keeps singing.]
PJ: (singing) Even if you got to shout out loud! No matter what you look it’s Max and … (spoken) Max!
Max: Hey, hey, hey!
PJ: Woah! Small wilderness, dude! Didn’t expect to run into you.
Max: Apparently not!
PJ: You’re just jealous man, ‘cause you ain’t got the moves!
Max: Yeah, you can keep the moves. But I wouldn’t mind having this RV. You’re so lucky, man!
PJ: Me? Aw, come on! You’re the star!
Max: Wha..what are you…
PJ: Going to the Powerline concert! Aw, it’s unbelievable, man!
Max: Who told you about that?
PJ: Hey, come on! Everybody in town knows about it, Max. You are gonna be famous, buddy! Especially with Roxanne.
Max: There’s, uh, only one person who doesn’t know about it yet, Peej.
Max: My dad. [Cut to the roof of the RV where Pete and Goofy are. Pete begins to go bowling.]
Pete: So tell me, Goof, is that kid of yours still giving you guff?
Goofy: Oh, I don’t know what’s wrong. Just seems like everything I try only drives Max further away. Maybe I ought to just back off, I don’t know…
Pete: Wrong, Goof! Look, if you keep’m under thumb, they’ll never end up in the gutter! [Pete bowls and gets nine pins leaving one standing.]
Goofy: Too bad, Pete. Almost.
Pete: Almost? Heh! Watch this! PJ!! [PJ comes running up to the roof.]
PJ: Yes, Sir! Coming, Sir! Yes, Sir! [Pete points at the pin. PJ goes over and kicks it down.]
Pete: Woohoo! Strike-ola! Yeeha! Thank you! Thank you! Yes! And the crowd goes wild! High five, son! Hike! Say, Goof, why don’t you two stay for dinner?
Goofy: Oh, no thanks, Pete. Max and I have some fish to catch!
Max: Aw, Dad, we can do that tomorrow. So, uh, what are we having?
Goofy: But Max, I thought…
Pete: [clears throat] Under you thumb, Goof!
Goofy: Get your gear, little man. We’re going fishing! And I mean now!
[Max goes off, disgusted. Goofy winks at Pete who winks back. In their fishing gear, they enter the river with their rods.]
Max: Dad, I don’t even know how to fish.
Goofy: Oh, now come on. That never stopped me! Let me show you a little family secret that’s been handed down for about twelve or thirteen Goof generations: The Perfect Cast!
Max: The Perfect What?
Goofy: The Perfect Cast! My dad taught it to me when I was about your age. Okay now, watch carefully. You gotta be loose. Relaxed. With your feet apart, and… Ten o’clock. Two o’clock. Quarter to three! Tour Jete! Twist! Over! Pas de deux! I’m a little teapot! And the windup… [Goofy’s line goes all the way back to where Pete is Barbecuing steaks. The hook grabs a steak.]
Goofy: And let ‘er fly!!! The Perfect Cast!
[The hook with the steak go sailing and land on the bank of the river a fair ways away in the middle of a large footprint. Two feet that match the footprint then come up. It’s bigfoot. He is chewing on a log. He stops and sniffs, then sees the steak.]
Goofy: And now, we reel ‘er in.
[Bigfoot is about to take the steak when Goofy starts to real it in. Bigfoot chases the steak and finally catches it. He bites it and is pulled by Goofy.]
Goofy: Quick! Get the camera! [They manage to get back to the bank and Max hands the camera to Goofy.]
Goofy: Must be over three pounds! I don’t wanna miss this! [Through the viewfinder of the camera, you see bigfoot.]
Goofy: (in an awed whisper) Look, Max!
Max: Uh, duh, duh, dad … It’s Bigfoot!
Goofy: Could you back up a bit Mister Foot? You’re out of focus.
[Bigfoot roar and Goofy and Max start running. The steak sails back at Pete and hits him in the face.]
Pete: What’s the idea of… [He sees Max and Goofy running from Bigfoot.]
[Pete grabs the BBQ, throws it in the RV, retracts all the equipment attached to the RV and drives off, leaving Goofy’s tent where it was. Goofy is running backwards getting Bigfoot on video.]
Goofy: Behold the legendary Bigfoot! Fabled but seldom… [Goofy trips over the tent and the camera goes flying. Max tries to get in the car.]
Max: It’s locked!
Goofy: Quick! The sun roof! [Max and Goofy dive through the sun roof and Goofy starts rolling the window closed.]
Max: Hurry up! [Bigfoot is coming fast. Goofy is still rolling the window closed.]
Max: Hurry up!!
[The window closes just as Bigfoot gets there. He rocks the car back and forth for a moment, then notices all the equipment Goofy had unpacked. He goes to investigate.]
Max: I can’t believe it! Bigfoot!
Goofy: And I’ve got the only video!
Max: We’re gonna be famous! [Bigfoot has discovered the camera and is pulling the tape out in shreds.]
Max: (disgusted) Let’s just get out of here.
[Goofy feels for the keys but Bigfoot has found them outside and tosses them away. He then continues rummaging through their equipment. Fade to late evening. Goofy and Max are still in the car.]
Max: Is he gone yet? [Bigfoot does a puppet show using socks. Then goes back to rummaging.]
Goofy: Nope, still here. [Max’s stomach growls.]
Goofy: Gee, Max. Was that Bigfoot or your stomach?
Max: Man, I’m starving! [A can of alphabet soup lands on the hood of the car.]
Goofy: Alphabet soup coming up! [Goofy rolls down the window and tries to grab the can. Bigfoot hears and turns around.]
Max: Uh, duh, dad…
[Bigfoot starts coming towards the car. Goofy gets the can, but can’t get it through the crack he left.]
Max: Dad! [Bigfoot runs toward the car.]
Max: Stop playing around! He’s coming!
[Max grabs his father’s hand and turns it so the can gets through. Bigfoot crashes into the side of the car and is sent sprawling along with a lot of the equipment he dragged along. He lands and a pair of headphones lands on his head, which is playing "Staying Alive". Bigfoot is startled at first, then begins to enjoy it. Cut to the inside of the car where Goofy has just taken the cigarette lighter out of the dashboard. He balances the can of soup over the lighter.]
Goofy: Well, it’s nice to know this thing’s good for something!
[While they wait for the soup to heat up, they sit. Bigfoot does the hustle in the background. Max and Goofy catch each other looking at the other and quickly look away. Goofy then smiles and starts to chuckle.]
Max: What’s so funny?
Goofy: "Hi Dad" Soup!
Goofy: Don’t tell me you don’t remember "Hi Dad" Soup. [Max just looks blank.]
Goofy: Oh, come on! Sure you do! You used to spell things out using the letters, like, uh, "Hi Dad" or "Maxie" or…
Goofy: Yeah, that’s…Nah, little words, like…
Max: "Hasta la vista"?
Goofy: Like "Bye bye"!
Max: …or "I pledge allegiance"…
Goofy: …or "I love you"… [Both Max and Goofy suddenly look sad.]
Max: Is it soup yet?
Goofy: Oh, I almost forgot! [Goofy uses his teeth to create two holes in the top of the can.]
Max: Woah! Where’d you learn to do that?
Goofy: [Your granddad taught me that when we went to Yosemite.]
Max: You two did a lot together, huh?
Goofy: Yup. [Now Goofy looks sad. Suddenly the talk simultaneously.]
Goofy: Max, you and I have to…
Max: Dad, listen I have a…
Goofy: How’s the soup? [Max drinks and leaves a soup mustache on his upper lip.]
Max: Not bad. [Max sees his dad grinning.]
Max: What? [Seeing Max with a mustache reminds Goofy of what Max was like as a little boy. He just grins.]
Goofy: Nothing. [Bigfoot climbs on top of the car and settles down to sleep.]
Goofy: Welp, might as well get some shut eye. I don’t think we’re going anywhere tonight.
[Goofy gets comfortable. Max looks lovingly at his dad, then down at the remnants of the soup in his cup. He fiddles with something at the bottom. Max then taps his father and hands him the cup. Goofy looks at the bottom of the cup to see the words "Hi Dad" spelled out. Goofy gets choked up and looks over at Max, who is settling down to sleep.]
Goofy: (whispering) Hi, Maxie.
[Scene fades to later that night. Both Bigfoot and Goofy are snoring. Max can’t sleep because of the noise. So, he finds a postcard and begins to write.]
Max: (writing) Dear Roxanne, Couldn’t sleep, so I thought I’d drop you a line. Dad and I are having a great time. We’re only days away from L.A. and I can hardly wait for the big concert. [Max stops writing and looks sad. Then looks over at Goofy.]
Goofy: (in his sleep) More Hi Dad Soup, please. [Max gets a half smile on his face looking at his dad, then decides to re-write the postcard.]
Max: (writing) Dear Roxanne, Sorry I lied, but I’m not really going to the Powerline concert. You may never want to see me again… [He stops when he realizes that won’t work either.]
Max: Oh, man! I’m dead no matter what I do!
[Max stomps his foot on the dashboard. The glove compartment pops open and the map unfolds into his lap. He follow the route on it to Lake Destiny and then looks down to L.A. A pencil rolls out of the glove compartment and conveniently stops, pointing from the route on the map directly to L.A. Max picks up the pencil then starts erasing. He then draws a new route to L.A. The pencil tip breaks just before he finishes. Goofy yawns. Max breaks out in a cold sweat, picks up the pencil tip and finishes the drawing, puts the map back in the glove compartment and sits back nervously as Goofy seems to awaken.]
Goofy: How many cups of sugar does it take to get to the moon?
Max: Uh, three and a half?
[Goofy goes back to sleep. Max sighs, looks at the postcard and then tears it up. He opens the car window and throws the pieces outside into the wind. The pieces are carried toward the camera. One piece gets caught in a branch close up, with the words, "I lied" written on it. Fade to a truck stop the next morning. The short order cook rings a bell on the order counter.]
Cook: Pick up!
Waitress: Hold your horses! [The waitress picks up the food and carries it to Max and Goofy.]
Waitress: Short stack?
Goofy: Right here!
Waitress: Here you go, hon. Eggs? Eggs? Eggs! [Max has been staring down at the table, then suddenly comes to.]
Max: Oh! Oh! Yeah, yeah! Right here! Sorry.
Waitress: Here you go, cutie.
[The eggs and strip of bacon form a face. Goofy digs into his pancakes, then notices that Max, who was so hungry the night before is picking at his eggs and looking nervously at the map. Goofy thinks he knows what the problem is and picks up the map, waving it at Max.]
Goofy: Max, I think we need to talk about this.
Goofy: Seems to me you need to start taking some responsibility around here. [Goofy taps his water glass with his fork.]
Goofy: Excuse me. Uh, can I have your attention please? [clears throat] I, Goofy, hereby dub my son, Maximillian, official navigator and head which-wayer of this here road trip! [Truck stop patrons clap and cheer.]
Goofy: I’m not even looking at the map anymore. As a matter of fact, you can pick all the stops from here to Lake Destiny. I trust you wholeheartedly, son. To the open road! [Goofy picks up his water glass. Max does the same.]
Max: To the open…road!
[With Goofy driving and Max navigating, the continue their journey, stopping at a beach, where Goofy has a terrible time with a jetski, they change a flat tire, at an amusement park Goofy can’t stomach the roller coaster, at a monster truck rally where Goofy can’t stand the noise. Max notices this and decides his dad needs something he likes, so their next stop is the amazing house of yarn--one of the stops on Goofy’s map. A stop in New Orleans is next with an unfortunate encounter with a mime, they change another flat tire, they visit Carl’s Butt Caverns and awaken the bats, and speaking of bats then attend a baseball game where they get an autographed baseball by very unusual means, The change another flat tire, and pull into the "Neptune Inn" motel for the night. They take a couple of suitcases and open the door to the room.]
Goofy: Gosh! [Max notices the waterbeds with goldfish.]
Max: Woah ho ho! Check out the bed!
Goofy: Check out the dresser--coral! [Max turns a mermaid lamp off and on.]
Max: Nice lamp!
Goofy: Classy choice, there, navigator! [There is a pounding on the door.]
Voice: This is the police! We’ve got the place surrounded, see! You Goofs come out with your hands up!
[Goofy slightly opens the door. Pete kicks it in and pretends to shoot Goofy and Max. He then starts laughing.]
Pete: You should have seen the look on your face!
Goofy: You really had him fooled, Pete!
Max: Me? You jumped out of your skin!
Goofy: Uh uh! I was just pretending for your sake!
Max: Oh, right! Sure!
Goofy: Did to!
Max: Did not!
Pete: Oh, ain’t this sweet! (aside to Goofy) Don’t let him fool you with that buddy-buddy act, now. Under your thumb! [Pete thumbs Goofy’s nose.]
Pete: So, since we’re all being palsy-walsy here, how about letting me hook up the RV?
Pete: Oh, it’s just a tiny little extension cord. You’ll hardly even notice it.
Pete: Great! PJ!
[PJ comes in hauling an enormous array of ducts and cables. Pete points into the room. PJ hauls it all in.]
Pete: Hey, Goof. Why don’t you order us some pizza? This might take a while. [Goofy gets the pizza, then brings it in to PJ and Max.]
PJ: …no I mean it, they…
Goofy: Here you go, kids. I’m gonna go check out the hot tub.
PJ: Oh, okay, sir!
Max: All right.
PJ: (to Max) I can’t believe you, man. Whatever made you think your dad would fall for a stupid idea like that?
Max: It wasn’t stupid!
PJ: Come on, it was really stupid! Changing the map? [Pete was just about to enter when he hears PJ. He decides to listen.]
Max: Look, I didn’t know what I was doing, all right? I…I was… I was panicked!… [Goofy gets in the hot tub and is joined shortly thereafter by Pete.]
Pete: Taking a break from the MTV generation, huh? Heh, heh. Can’t say as I blame you. [Pete gets into the hot tub and a lot of water spills out due to Pete’s size.]
Pete: People are always putting too much water in these things. [Pete settles into the pool.]
Pete: So, um, you and your son seem to be, uh, getting along just hunky dory, huh?
Goofy: Yeah, it’s been great! You know, it’s funny, but none of your techniques worked for me. The harder I tried the worse it got. Once I eased up, things just clicked!
Pete: Oh, that’s swell! So, uh, no problems then, huh?
Goofy: Not a one! [Pete fakes reluctance to tell Goofy what he heard.]
Pete: I…I just hate to be the bearer of bad news, but, uh,…
Goofy: What is it, Pete?
Pete: Your kid’s duping you!
Goofy: What do you mean?
Pete: Well, I heard the little mutant telling PJ that he changed the map so…you’re heading straight to L.A., pal!
Goofy: (Stunned) What?
Pete: Oh, you tried, Goof. He’s just a bad kid, that’s all!
Goofy: I don’t believe you.
Goofy: I don’t believe you, Pete.
Pete: Well, hey! Don’t take my word for it. Check your map! [Goofy gets out of the hot tub.]
Goofy: I don’t need to check the map. I trust my son. You know, maybe Max isn’t all the things that you think a son should be, but, he loves me.
Pete: Hey! My son respects me!
Goofy: Yeah… [Goofy leaves. Pete calls after him.]
Pete: Check the map, Goof!
[Goofy walks back to the room, but decides to get in the car instead. He reaches for the glove compartment, then stop. He thinks, gets upset and pounds the steering wheel and starts to get out. The glove compartment pops opens and the map spills out. Cut to an aerial shot of the motel with Goofy’s car centered. Goofy goes back to the room.]
Max: Hi, dad. Sorry about the mess. I’ll clean it up. [Goofy looks absolutely dumbstruck and disillusioned. He gets in bed and turns off the light.]
PJ: (whispering) I think I better go.
Max: (whispering) See ya, Peej.
PJ: (whispering) Don’t forget: Powerline!
[Goofy still has that look of disillusionment and sadness as he lies in bed. The shot twists and fades to the next morning as Goofy is driving with the same look. He looks over at Max who nervously grins. A sign comes up showing a junction with only left and right turns. Goofy grabs the map and gives it to Max.]
Goofy: Well, here you go, navigator. Just follow my route on the map, son.
Max: Okay. [They pass another sign pointing right to Idaho and left to California.]
Goofy: Here comes our junction. [Max looks at the map from Lake Destiny to L.A., torn.]
Goofy: Okay, Max, now this is it: left or right? [Max still can’t decide.]
Goofy: Come on, Max! [Finally, Max at the last minute makes his decision.]
[The car scrapes the center divider as they barely make it up the left ramp. Max looks back, then sighs. Goofy looks angry. Max nervously smiles.]
Max: How about a song, Dad? [Goofy gets angrier.]
Max: A game? A game! Yeah! Yeah, a game! Okay! Uh, man or woman? [Goofy gets even angrier.]
Max: Man? Man! Okay! Uh, Walt Disney!
[Goofy swerves the car to a scenic overlook and stops the car. He fumbles with the seat beat, gets out and stomps over to the stone wall at the edge of the overlook, fuming. Max sighs, realizing that his dad is on to him and resolves to tell him what’s going on. He gets out of the car and goes over to him.]
Max: Dad, listen, about my directions… [Goofy turns his back on him.]
Max: Will you listen to me? I gotta tell you something, Dad! [Goofy turns his back again.]
Goofy: Why bother? I’m probably too stupid to understand anyway, right?
Max: Oh, forget it!
[Max gives up and walks back to the car. He kicks a tire and then leans on the hatchback. The car rolls forward and leaves Max sprawling in the dirt.]
Max: Hey, hey, hey! The car!
Goofy: What? Now you want to drive too?
Max: No, Dad! The car! Look!!
Goofy: Oh, the car! [They begin chasing after the car as it rolls down the mountain highway.]
Goofy: What’d you do now, Max?
Max: I didn’t do anything, Dad! I only touched it!
[The car goes under a low underpass and knocks their equipment off. Goofy steps on a skateboard and Max joins him. They catch up with the car and Goofy manages to grab the door handle.]
Goofy: You locked it!
Max: I locked it? It’s your door. You locked it! [Max goes around to the other side and gets in.]
Goofy: Well, you distracted me! [Max rolls down the window and pulls Goofy half into the car.]
Max: You should have put the brake on!
Goofy: Why don’t you just put it on yourself? [Goofy attempts to set the brake, but it comes off in his hand.]
Max: See? You ruin everything!
[The car has dislodged the retaining fence and Goofy is being shaken by the posts as the car rolls over them.]
Goofy: Well, you ruined the vacation! [The car sails into the air and bounces on some rock formations.]
Max: I ruined it? [car bounces.]
Max: I never… [bounce.]
Max: …wanted to go… [bounce.]
Max: …on this stupid… [bounce.]
[The car make a final dive into the river. Max gets separated from the car, but manages to swim back to it. Goofy is hanging from the side of the car.]
Max: Now, look where you got us, Dad!
Goofy: Where I got us? [Goofy boosts Max to the roof.]
Max: You should’a let me stay at home!
Goofy: Why? So you’d end up in prison? [Max pulls Goofy up to the roof. The car goes through some rapid.]
Max: Prison? What are you talking about?
Goofy: Your Principal called me…
Max: It’s not what you think, Dad…
Goofy: You even lied to me!
Max: I had to! You were ruining my life!
Goofy: I was only trying to take my boy fishing, okay?
Max: I’m not your little boy anymore, Dad! I’ve grown up! I’ve got my own life now!
Goofy: I know that! I just wanted to be part of it! [The car gets past the last of the rapids.]
Goofy: You’re my son, Max. No matter how big you get, you’ll always be my son.
[The car slowly drifts downstream and Goofy and Max sadly sit on the roof with their backs to each other. The sun breaks through the clouds and Max finally decides to break the silence.]
Max: (singing) There are times you drive me, shall we say, bananas And your mind is missing, no offense, a screw.
Goofy: (spoken) None taken!
Max: (singing) Still, whatever mess I land in Who is always understandin’? Nobody else but you!
Goofy: (singing) Oh, you moodiness is now and then bewildering And you values may be, so to speak, askew!
Max: (spoken) Gezuntheit!
Goofy: (spoken) Thanks! (Singing) Who deserves a hero’s trophy As we face each catastrophe? Nobody else but you!
Both: (singing) Nobody else but you! It’s just our luck We’re stuck together! Nobody else but you! It’s crazy enough to believe we’ll come through!
Max: (singing) So your jokes are all, let’s face it, prehistoric!
Goofy: (singing) And your music sounds like monkeys in a zoo!
Both: (singing) But when life becomes distressing, Who will I be S-O-S-ing?
Max: (singing) If you’re having trouble guessing Here’s a clue! ‘Though he seems intoxicated, He’s just highly animated! And he’s nobody else but…
Both: (singing) Nobody else but you! We’ve turned into A true blue duo! Hard times--we’ve had a few…
Goofy: (singing) Like we’re thrown in the drink…
Max: (singing) Like we’re tossed out of town…
Both: (singing) But when I start to sink, Hey, I’d rather go down With nobody else but Y - O - you! [Goofy kisses Max]
Max: (Spoken) Aw, Dad! [Fade to further down river. Max has apparently explained everything he did and why.]
Max: …Well, anyway. I figure she’s never gonna want to talk to me again, much less go out with me. Dumb lie, huh?
Goofy: Well, what do you know. My Maxie -- in love! Gosh, you’re really grown up! It happened so fast, I guess I sort of missed it! Welp, I think the only thing for us to do now is to get you up on stage with this Powerline fellow.
Max: Uh, how are we going to do that?
Goofy: Now, you just leave that up to me.
Max: No, Dad, really. I think we should just, you know, forget it.
Goofy: Now, how come you always think I’m going to lead you into some sort of calamity? [Max looks ahead, shocked.]
Max: Duh, duh, Dad?
Goofy: What’s wrong now? [Max turns his dad’s head forward.]
Max: Look!!! [The car is approaching a high waterfall.]
Goofy: (matter of factly) A waterfall. (panicked) A waterfall?!!!!!
[Goofy and Max attempt to paddle upstream and fail. Goofy gets thrown from the car and grabs a rock. Max continues towards the falls on the car.]
[A fishing pole hits Goofy in the back of the head. Goofy grabs it and climbs over the rock formations trying to find a good place to try and reach for Max. He finally gets to a log and climbs to the end of it. He extends the pole towards Max.]
Goofy: Grab a hold, Max!
[Max tries and misses. The car goes over a rock in the river and flips over. Max gets tangled in a tarp. Goofy tries to stop the car from going over the falls by casting the line to it and succeeds for a moment. then the force of the falls breaks the log and Goofy is dumped in the river. Max and car go over the falls, Max still entangled in the tarp. As he falls, the tarp becomes a parachute and the updraft from the falls carries him up above the falls. Max then sees his father heading for the edge of the falls.]
[With a final effort, Goofy extends the fishing pole still in his hand towards Max. Max grabs the end. For a moment, the two are dangling above the falls. Then the cork handle of the fishing pole comes off and Goofy begins to fall again.]
Goofy: Max!!!!! [Max almost without thinking spins the fishing pole around and starts doing the Perfect Cast.]
Max: (to himself) Ten o’clock. Quarter to three. Tour Jete. Twist. I’m a little teapot. Let ‘er fly!
[The fishing line flies toward the retreating figure of Goofy. Both are soon lost in the mist at the base of the falls. Max begins to worry that he is too late. Then the line goes taut. Max begins to get pulled down but he starts reeling in the line. Soon, the figure of his father can be seen, hooked by the seat of his pants. Max, relieved, reels Goofy in all the way. Goofy with tears in his eyes knows how his son saved him.]
Goofy: The Perfect Cast! [Goofy and Max hug each other. The map, blown by the wind land on Goofy’s head.]
Max: Boy, this has been one crazy vacation.
Goofy: And it’s not over yet!
[Goofy tosses the map to the wind. The map sails toward the camera and showing Los Angeles. Cut to the Powerline concert. Cars are being directed in. A couple of people are tossing instrument cases into a loading dock. A drum case opens, and Max gets out.]
Max: (whispers) Dad? [Max opens a base fiddle base and Goofy falls out.]
Goofy: We made it! Come on, Max! Let’s get you on stage!
Max: Uh, maybe this isn’t such a good idea. [A couple of spandex dressed dancers pass by Max. Max looks at them admiringly.]
Max: Uh, then again… [Max notices his dad is nowhere to be seen.]
Max: Dad? Dad! [Cut to the stage. Powerline is starting his final number.]
Powerline (singing): I got myself a notion And one I know that you’ll understand We set the world in motion By reaching out for each other’s hand. [Max is under the stage trying to find Goofy.]
Max: Dad? [Max looks up and sees Powerline from the back.]
Powerline: (singing) Maybe we’ll discover What we should have known all along. [Max has a flash light shine in his face.]
Security Guard: What are you doing here? Hey! [Max runs from the guard.]
Powerline: (singing) One way or another Together’s where we both belong. [Goofy is backstage going through a hall of dressing rooms.]
Goofy: Max? Max?
[Goofy opens one of the rooms and discovers someone trying to get dressed. She screams. Goofy looks extremely embarrassed. She hits Goofy and he tumbles backwards into a rather large and imposing piece of equipment with a door in the side. The door closes with Goofy inside and then starts buzzing.]
Powerline: (singing) If we listen to each other’s heart We’ll find we’re never too far apart, And maybe love is the reason why. For the first time ever, we’re seeing it I 2 I.
[Through the TV screen, we go back to Stacey’s party. Everyone is gathered around the TV hoping for a chance to see Max on TV.]
Bobby: That Goof kid ain’t there! [Roxanne looks worried.]
Stacey: (To Roxanne) Don’t worry, he’ll be there.
[Cut back to L.A. Max is running from the Security Guard and climbs onto a row of lights which rises. The Guard is right behind him. Goofy is now in a large globe, just like Powerline make his entrance in for the final number which begins to rise through a trap door in the stage.]
Goofy: Excuse me, but uh… [Goofy ends up center stage with Powerline. Goofy squints into the audience.]
[Just as with Powerline, Goofy’s globe is bathed with electrical charges. Goofy gets the shock of his live and the globe explodes, throwing Goofy at Powerline’s feet. Powerline stops and stares at Goofy. Max, from the rafters, sees his dad, is first embarrassed, then gets an idea and shouts down to his dad.]
Max: Dad! Dad! Do the Perfect Cast!
[Goofy does it, and it looks like some kind of dance. Powerline gets interested and joins Goofy right at the "I’m a little teapot" part.]
Powerline: (singing) If you’re ever lonely, stop. You don’t have to be. After all it’s only a beat away from you to me.
[The Guard crawls across the scaffolding to Max. Max leaps over him to the other side. The guy wire breaks and Max grabs it. The guard grabs Max’s feet and the both go sailing. The guard ends up smashing into a large TV display, and Max ends up center stage with Powerline. Max gets up and starts doing the Perfect Cast.]
Powerline: (singing) If we listen to each other’s heart We’ll find we’re never too far apart. [Cut to Stacey’s party.]
Bobby: Yeah! Max is on the tu-ube! That’s Max! I know him! [Roxanne gets a big grin on her face.]
Powerline: (singing) And maybe love is the reason why For the first time ever, We’re seeing it I 2 I. [Cut to Pete’s RV. PJ is scrubbing the floor in front of the TV and sees Max.]
PJ: He did it!
[Pete comes up behind PJ, sees Max and Goofy, and spits the beer he was drinking on the screen. He stares at the TV with his jaw dropped. Cut back to Stacey’s party. Stacey and Roxanne are trying to do the Perfect Cast. Bobby comes by and sprays them with cheese. Bobby bumps into someone and drops the can. Bobby and Stacey reach the can at the same time and their hands touch. They look at each other and smile. The concert finishes with a bang. Fade to later. Goofy is just pulling up in the car in front of Roxanne’s house. The car is a total wreck. When they stop, the front bumper comes off.]
Goofy: You’re doing the right thing, son.
Max: Yeah, I know. But she’ll probably never talk to me again.
Goofy: Well, if she doesn’t, maybe she’s just not the one for you. Max: That’s what I’m afraid of. [Max goes to the front door and rings the doorbell. Roxanne’s father answers.] Max: Uh, hi! Remember me? [The door slams.]
Roxanne: (from inside) Daddy! [Roxanne opens the door and comes out.]
Roxanne: Max? I saw you on TV! You were great!
Max: Yeah? I mean, no, no. I mean, uh,,… Roxanne, I lied to you. I don’t even know Powerline.
Roxanne: What are you talking about? A billion people saw you dance with him!
Max: Yeah, well, I never met him before. The concert, that is.
Roxanne: You mean that story about Powerline and your dad… Why would you make up something like that?
Max: I don’t know. I guess, I just…wanted you to like me.
Roxanne: I already liked you, Max. [Max looks at Roxanne, shocked.]
Roxanne: From the very first time I heard you laugh. "Uhyuck!" So, you want to do something tonight?
Max: Definitely! Oh! Oh no, I can’t! I can’t. [Roxanne looks at Max distrustfully.]
Max: Well, I’m kinda doing something with my dad. Honest! How about tomorrow?
[Roxanne extends her hand for Max to shake. Max kisses Roxanne instead. They both giggle and Max lets out a full Goofy laugh. He covers his mouth, but Roxanne just smiles. Back at the car, Goofy has managed to get the front bumper back on the car. He grins and points at it. The car explodes. Goofy is sent flying. With a full Goofy yell, Goofy lands head first on the roof of Roxanne porch. Goofy goes halfway through with his head and arms sticking through to the porch area. He chuckles and waves at Max and Roxanne. Max smiles.]
Max: Roxanne, I’d like you to meet my Dad! [Goofy takes Roxanne’s hand and kisses it.]
Goofy: Enchante, Madamoiselle! [They all laugh and the camera rises to the blue sky.]